


home is where the heart is

by deeppoeticgirl



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Post-War, Pre-Epilogue, Realistic, Slow Burn, Tentative Love, sasusaku!travels
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2018-09-12 11:51:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 93,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9070453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deeppoeticgirl/pseuds/deeppoeticgirl
Summary: /SasuSaku./ And with every moment together, they get just a little closer, a little more comfortable with each other. Fall a little more in love. Post-war. Pre-epilogue.





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> This has been posted on FF for quite a while, but I thought I might post it here too. The release of chapters will be quick (every few days to maybe a week) up until the 16th chapter... then you'll have to wait around a little longer.

Sasuke, she knew, would keep his promise.

She had no doubts that she would see him soon, like he had sworn to her moments before leaving on his journey of repentance. To find himself, she acknowledged, and right the wrongs he’d made along the years he thirsted for nothing but revenge and justice for his clan. Because she knew that if Sasuke was anything—it was loyal; to the people he loved, the people he deeply cared for.

He would return.

But… she hadn’t expected it would be this quickly.

“Sasuke-kun!” she exclaimed, wide-eyed and stunned, feeling her cheeks warm with a mix of embarrassment and happiness. Her hands went to tug at the hem of her thin night shirt, and she looked at him nervously. “You’re back so early,” she breathed.

A little amused, he raised a brow.

“Do you want me to leave?” he said, mouth quirking a bit. “I can go back, if you don't want me to be here.”

Sakura blushed a little harder at his small quip, his playful banter still surprising and hard to get used to, and shook her head.

“No, no! I’m sorry! That’s not how I meant it, I just…” She cocked her head slightly, a bashful smile slipping to her lips. “I expected you in two or three months, maybe. Not… um, two weeks.”

“Aa,” he agreed easily, nodding. His eyes were still filled with that light mirth, and it made her heart flop pleasantly. “You weren’t wrong. I didn’t expect to be back so soon, either.”

 _He missed this place_ , Sakura found herself thinking, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. Her smile took a more gentle edge, the swelling feeling of affection in her chest almost too much to handle.

“How are you, Sasuke-kun?” she asked softly, her voice genuine and happy, if not a bit concerned. “Are things going well on your trip?”

He shrugged, shoving his hand in his pocket and exhaling a long sigh. He looked a bit tired, she noticed.

“A lot of work,” he groused, rolling his eyes. He paused, considered his words, and then added softly, “And tiring.” His eyes shifted away from her form, in a manner that seemed strangely self-shaming. “There aren’t many good inns that allow me in. People aren’t very welcoming.”

She itched to touch him, then, to comfort him and ease his apparent guilt—but stopped herself as she wondered if he would be okay with that. After some thought, Sakura gave a sympathetic look instead, leaning against the frame of her front door.

“Come on now,” she teased softly, “you never really expected this to be easy. Two weeks isn’t enough time to get people to soften up.”

He looked at her with silence, for a moment, and Sakura felt her breath quicken. And then he smirked, if only just slightly. She blushed in response.

“No,” he finally admitted. “But it wouldn’t hurt to get a little help to get going. I asked Kakashi to write me an official document vouching for my desire to repent for the sins I made. It should… put them more at ease.”

“Well I’m glad you thought about that,” she said, without much thought. “You might not have been gone too long but I... I missed you, you know.”

The way his jaw slackened made her look down quickly, and for that, she missed the way his eyes softened around the edges. Without missing a beat, she cleared her throat and turned around, struggling to keep her furious blush from painting her face as she stepped away from the entrance and waved him in.

“Ah, but where are my manners,” she mused, throwing a quick glance over her shoulder. Her face still felt hot. “Come on in!” When she reached her table, she turned his way again, smiling. “Your trip was probably draining, so sit! I’ll make us some tea and you can tell me all about—”

There was a shift in his features, then.

“Oh,” she realized, her smile cracking. “You’re not staying.”

Something in the way he looked at her told her that it wasn’t up to him.

“Sakura…” he murmured. “I can’t. I wasn’t even supposed to—”

Sakura raised a hand to stop him, firm and understanding, despite feeling a bit crestfallen.

“It’s okay,” she said softly, her gaze gentle. She took long, quiet strides to stand in front of him once again. “I get it, you were only dropping by,” she said, tilting her head at him. She gave a small smile, and added with genuine feeling, “Thank you.”

Sasuke hesitated for a moment, then nodded, his head a little more bowed than usual. And when he suddenly turned and stepped down from her porch, Sakura remembered something.

“Sasuke-kun,” she called swiftly, taking a quick step outside her home to catch up to him. He turned to look at her, brows raised in question at the urgency in her voice. She clasped her hands behind her back, swallowing the lump in her throat. “When you come back again,” she started, “won’t you stay a little while longer? To have tea with me?”

His calm gaze set on her, he answered nothing for a few beats. She felt her stomach drop at his consideration to her offer, mouth parting a little as she thought about reassuring him that he didn’t have to. But she didn’t have the time as Sasuke closed the distance between them and pressed his fingers to her forehead like he’d done the last time, giving a small smile.

“I’ll try,” he said. His eyes softened. “See you soon, Sakura.”

Her face brightening, she watched as he turned on the balls of his feet and started towards the path leading to the Hokage tower, a hand close to her hammering heart and the prettiest blush to her cheeks.

Smiling to herself, she tucked a strand of pink hair behind her ear again, and whispered, “See you soon, Sasuke-kun.”


	2. two

A month and a couple weeks later, she found him at her door again, looking a little more tired, but standing a little straighter.

“Sasuke-kun,” she greeted, blinking away her surprise. Her mouth parted faintly, and she felt her cheeks warm. “You’re here.”

His brows quirked, lips tugging at the corner just like the first time. “I am,” he granted. His hand delved in his pocket, and she watched as his eyes took a more humored edge. “I’m starting to think I might not visit next time I come around.”

Sakura’s shoulders fell at ease. “Don’t be ridiculous,” she chided, a tender smile rising to her lips. “I’m really happy to see you.” She paused, and looked at the travel bag at his side. Her teeth chewed on the inside of her cheek as she wondered if he would stay, this time. “Are you… only dropping by?”

She heard a sound fall from his lips, and glanced back up just as he pulled the bag over his head.

“I have time,” he said.

“Really?” she queried, soft and hopeful.

His eyes softened. “I said I’d try, didn’t I?”

A blush rose to her cheeks, and her gaze dropped to her wooden floor.

“Yes but…” Sakura’s fingers fiddled uncertainly with the ends of her shirt. “I don’t want you to miss out on important meetings, Sasuke-kun…”

“Sakura,” he insisted, surprisingly calm.

When she looked up again, he was peering at her with quiet confidence.

“I have time,” he assured again.

Unconvinced, Sakura frowned and studied him closely, lips pursing as Sasuke simply raised a brow under her scrutiny. She never wanted him to prioritize her over more important matters—especially when she could wait. Meetings and court proceedings, however, could not.

Her shoulders tensed, then, as she remembered that Sasuke had never been one to put bonds before duty. He would never avoid more urgent matters in light of tea time with her. Shaking her head from the grim thoughts, Sakura straightened herself and offered him a soft smile.

“All right. Well please, come in, Sasuke-kun,” she urged, grabbing his wrist and leading him through the door. Once inside her apartment, she freed him from her light grip and gestured to the shoes at the side and the spot where she kept her own bags.

He nodded, and she watched him take off his nin sandals, placing them neatly beside her own. When he put away his travel sack and turned her way again, she clasped her hands behind her back and smiled even wider.

“Welcome home, Sasuke-kun,” she said. “I can’t wait to hear about what you’ve been doing.”

The way he hid his smile against his collar had her heart pounding.

.

.

.

It was five weeks before she saw him again.

Rain was pouring down onto half the country in a hell-storm, flooding the streets and overflowing rivers and lakes. Sakura had been sitting in her living room, knees tucked to her chest and a warm duvet wrapped around her. Unsuspecting of any visitors in this type of weather, she had been reading up on some ancient medical techniques in a book she’d found deep within the untouched depths of a nearby village’s library, catching up on the history of medical ninjutsu and puzzling together all the research and experiments to figure out what exactly derived from what.

Sharp knocks sounded from her front door, and Sakura jumped. Mouth parting a little, she moved herself off the couch, carefully putting down the book, and made her way into the hallway and toward the front of her apartment, frowning a little apprehensively. She considered the possibility of a civilian or friend having been hurt in the storm—since after all it was labelled so dangerous the academies and stores had been shut down—and her pace hurried into a small run.

When she opened her door, though, she wasn’t prepared for the sight she was to be met with.

“Sasuke-kun,” she said, gaping worriedly at his shivering, rain-soaked form. He seemed a bit out of breath, so she stepped back quickly as a silent invitation to come inside and take rest. “Hey.”

But Sasuke made no move to come forward.

“I’m heading to Snow,” he said instead, voice just loud enough to reach her through the harsh, unrelenting deluge. His eyes seemed to be straining. “I won’t be back for a while,” he went on, jaw tightening. “I’m moving up to the further countries, so I’ll be away longer, from now on.”

Her hand fisted at her side, and she moved to wrap her arms around herself, but she nodded anyway. “I get it, Sasuke-kun. It’s okay.” The smile that reached her lips wasn’t quite as full as she wanted it to be, but it was honest all the same. “Thank you for telling me.”

He looked at her for a moment, lips mulling together uncertainly. Sakura thought it looked suspiciously like he had something to say, and wondered if perhaps it was something difficult for him to bring up, or simply a matter of his still-impaired social skills that left him unable to properly keep up a conversation. But all debating thoughts slipped from her mind, then, as he turned and started down the steps of her front porch. Her eyes widened.

“Sasuke-kun!” she called quickly, worried and stressed. When he slowed, she ran to his side and caught his soaking wet sleeve, and he turned, shocked. “You—are you crazy!? You can’t be out in this weather!” she reprimanded in the same tone she used with difficult patients, brows furrowing deeply. “Ninja or not, this is really dangerous!”

“I’ll be _fine_ ,” he said, trying to gently tug himself from her grip, but to no avail. “I’ve been through worse—”

“—but I’ll worry!” Sakura blurted. Her cheeks warmed as she realized the bluntness of her words. “I mean, I—Just… stay for the night. _Please_.” She stepped a little closer, using her other hand to grip onto him more firmly. Her gaze pressed on resolutely. “If you go out, you’ll get sick and… as a doctor, I can’t let you do that!”

She knew she probably looked stubborn and crazy, and that he likely felt more nagged on than anything else. But she was determined to make him stay, so she could have the relief of knowing he was safe and warm and healthy—not out running in a crazy storm, getting himself sick, or worse… gravely injured.

Sasuke kept his eyes on her, and his lips mulled together a bit. But with a sigh, he shook his head and finally relented. “All right,” he said, nodding. “I’ll stay the night.”

Sakura smiled, bright and wide, before pushing wet hair out of her face and pulling lightly at his wrist to lead him back inside the comfortable warmth of her dry apartment. He followed without complaint, matching her fast pace.

.

.

“Stay right there,” she said, toeing off her boots and pushing them to the side. “I’ll get us some towels.”

Then, she seemed to pause a little, the barest of flush gracing her cheeks. Sasuke raised a brow at this, frowning only just slightly. Sakura cleared her throat, and finally looked away so she could stare at her pretty floorboards.

“Can you… turn around?”

“…Why?”

She shuffled her feet a little. “I, um, need to take my clothes off.”

At his unbearably long silence, her face turned hotter and her throat grew tight. She risked a peek at his face, making a strange noise in the back of her throat at the sight of his wide eyes and equally flushed cheeks. He couldn’t seem to keep their gazes locked, either.

“The floors are new!” she spouted out, scrambling for an honest explanation. “A-And if the water gets in the cracks, I don’t want to risk something—”

She quieted suddenly, at a loss for words. Her hand rubbed at her red face, as she wondered if floors could even get damaged from so little water. She was probably being silly.

When Sakura looked at him again, he was still staring at the wall somewhere to his left. She sighed, and rubbed her neck.

“Sorry…” she muttered, wrapping an arm around herself. She looked away. “Forget it. I’m being ridiculous.”

It was silent, for a moment. But when the sound of rustling clothing breached the quiet stillness, she snapped her head up to meet the sight of Sasuke turning his back to her, his single hand stroking tensely at the back of his neck.

A wry smile cracked at her lips. “Thank you,” she said, moving to remove her clothes with lightly shaking hands. Although he wasn’t looking and she was certain he wouldn’t peek, Sasuke’s presence alone seemed to be nerve-wracking enough during such a task. “I’ll be quick! And while I’m at it, I’ll get you a pillow and a warm blanket for the couch.”

When the last words slipped her from her mouth, she hesitated. Slowly, she asked, “You… don’t mind sleeping on the couch, do you?”

She flinched as his head turned, hands flying to cover her nakedness, and with the way his shoulders stiffened, he seemed to remember this fact, too.

Tense and so very still, he replied a little awkwardly, “The couch is fine.”

Sakura nodded, and hurriedly padded towards her bathroom, ignoring the thunderous beating of her heart.

.

.

When she came back to find him a few minutes later, dressed in warm night clothes and carrying towels, she found him shirtless and shivering a little, hand running messily through his soaking wet hair to shake out the water. Agitated, she practically threw his towel at him, a squeaking noise falling from her lips.

“What are you so embarrassed about?” she heard him ask as he proceeded to dry his hair, voice muffled by the dense cloth. “It’s not like you’ve never seen me without a shirt.”

“I almost walked in on you naked,” Sakura replied, her voice an octave higher than usual. She cleared her throat at the thought, and tried not to look at the way the water dripped down his well-defined abs.

A snort passed Sasuke’s lips, and her gaze flew up just as he moved the towel away from his face to look at her, a strange smile tugging at his mouth. The tug was more insistent as he said, “Do you really think I’d be disrespectful enough to embarrass you by undressing, knowing you would come back, and have you walk in on me naked?”

A furious blush struck her cheeks—one of many tonight, it seemed—and she protested a loud, “No! Of course not! I know you wouldn’t do that, Sasuke-kun!”

A soft chuckle escaped him, one that was more a hum of amusement than anything else, and she melted under the weight of it, her heart fluttering pleasantly. They looked at each other for one long burst of a moment, not knowing what to say, but comfortable in the quiet.

Thunder cracked loudly in the sky with enough force to quiver in the walls, and the moment was broken.

“I should probably get to bed. I guess I’ll, uh, leave you to it,” she said, pulling her own towel closer to herself. Her fingers twisted in the material. “You know where my dryer is and how it works, right?” She was relieved when he nodded. “Okay. Well… don’t be shy to use anything you need. There’s some fresh tomatoes in the fridge, your favorite tea in the left cabinet by the sink, and you can even turn on the fireplace if you get cold.” She smiled gently. “You’ll probably be gone before I even wake up tomorrow morning so… safe travels, Sasuke-kun. And as always, I hope you’ll come back and visit as soon as you can.”

Sasuke nodded and his brows furrowed in thought for a moment. Then, he gave her a look, one that had her breath hitching, and thanked her quietly, moving noiselessly towards the living room. Sakura looked at him wistfully, admiring every line of his face and acquitting it to memory, before she just as soundlessly padded back to her bedroom, toweling the water out of her still-wet hair.

She thought she heard him bid her goodnight before she closed the door.

.

.

The next morning he was gone without a trace, the blanket he’d used folded neatly on the side of the couch with the pillow at its side.

On her mahogany coffee table lay a simple note which read, _Thank you._ _I’ll see you soon._


	3. three

He was back two months and a week later, with a tray of cookies in his hand and a grim look on his face.

“You came from Naruto’s,” she said with certainty.

“The idiot forgot I hate sweets,” he muttered, rolling his eyes. He made no complaints as she took the plate from him and swiped a cookie underneath the plastic, taking a generous bite. “Since when can he bake anyway?”

“He can’t,” she replied simply, giggling. “He and Hinata baked enough batches to feed the town, a couple days ago. Of course, Hinata did most of the work, and Naruto was so proud he gave them to everyone.”

“Are they dating?”

“I’m not sure.” She gave him a curious look. “Are you honestly interested in hearing about Naruto’s love life right now?”

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Whatever makes him stop nagging me every time I come around.”

She gave him a teasing smile. “I’m not sure that’ll stop him.”

“Probably not,” he agreed.

She took another bite, and chewed thoughtfully, putting a finger to her chin. “Well,” she said, grinning cheekily. “I could always do you a mercy killing.”

Snorting, Sasuke replied without a beat, “So the idiot can go resurrect me with an illegal scroll? I think I'll pass.”

Sakura's eyes widened, and she laughed, taking the plate from his hands. “Oh, you're probably right,” she said, still giggling lightly as she headed down to the kitchen. “It's been barely more than a year since we've gotten you back, and Naruto wouldn't stand to lose his best friend again so soon.”

“Best friend,” Sasuke muttered, striding shortly behind her in soft steps. “Half the time, I don't even know how that happened.”

Putting the plate down on the counter, she grinned and shifted towards him, hands clasped behind her back. “Oh, you _know_ , Sasuke-kun,” she said, crossing her arms. “Don't try and pretend otherwise with me.”

“Hm.”

She watched as Sasuke leaned against the wall, his mismatched gaze carefully set on her. Her feet shuffled a little at the intensity.

“Have you eaten yet?” he asked, after a long pause.

“A little while ago.”

“Ah.”

“Why?”

He shrugged. “I haven't.”

Her mouth parted, surprised. “You wanted to get food?”

Sasuke replied nothing, and she took it as a confirmation. “I would have loved to,” she said softly. “But... I have work in fifteen minutes. I was just getting ready to leave until you showed up, actually.”

“I won't keep you, then,” he said, pushing himself off the wall, and heading towards her front door. “I'll see you next time, Sakura.”

“Wait!” Quickly, she caught up to him, her cheeks flushing as he turned to look at her curiously. “If you want,” she said, fiddling with the fabric of her skirt, “you can walk me to the hospital. I haven't seen you in a while, Sasuke-kun, and I'd like to hear about how you've been doing.”

Something in his eyes brightened. Her heart pounded harder.

“Sure.”

.

.

“You're leaving again, right?” she said, as they reached the front doors of the hospital. “That's why you wanted to spend time with me.”

He simply nodded, hand slipped in his pocket.

“Take care of yourself, then, Sasuke-kun.” She smiled gently. “And come back soon.”

“Aa,” he hummed. Lips curling into a smile, he raised his single hand and pressed two fingers to her forehead gently, gaze full of affection. “As always.”

Hand falling to his side again, he turned on his heels and said, “See you soon, Sakura.”

She allowed herself a few moments to watch him walk away, her smile falling slightly, before she finally headed inside to work.

Something told her this would be his longest trip away, thus yet.

.

.

.

A couple weeks later, Sakura got the news that Sasuke had caught a terrible cold.

“You should have seen him, Sakura-chan! Sick as a dog! The bastard couldn’t even get out of bed for three days!”

A smile came easily to her mouth. It always amused her how Naruto took such delight in Sasuke’s misery when it came to the little things; like his underwear drawer being raided by fangirls, or a random civilian sneezing directly in his face.

Sakura shook her head a little. “Naruto, you didn’t see him either,” she reminded him, nudging his shoulder with her own.

“Psh. Details!” Naruto grinned, lacing fingers behind his head as they continued to walk down the market street in a light snowfall. “I take Shino and Kiba’s word for it. Must have been a sight.”

Sakura laughed, this time. “Probably was. Sasuke-kun’s always been grumpier when sick.” She fitted her hands to the warm pockets of her red winter coat and tipped her head back a little, catching a snowflake on her tongue. Exhaling softly, she burrowed her face in the collar, and said, “I’m sure you can remember how he was during Christmas week after he came back.”

Naruto scrunched up his nose at the memory. “I don’t understand why he had to snap at everybody over nothing—he was such a pain to deal with!”

An unladylike snort slipped from her mouth, and Sakura cleared her throat to cover it, looking at the store windows to her right to hide the amusement. “You always think Sasuke-kun is a pain to deal with, Naruto.”

She heard him laugh lightly in response, the sound of it a clear picture that he was probably grinning again.

“Yeah, but that’s because he is!”

Sakura smiled, giving him a playful shove without looking, silently admiring a nice winter hat in the window display. Ino would probably like that one—she’d be sure to pass on the store name the next time she and her had their next coffee date.

Then something caught her eye in the next window, and she blinked, pausing in her steps.

“Hey, Naruto,” she called, cocking her head to the side curiously. “Where did you say he was again?”

“Who? Sasuke?”

Her eyes ran along the beige fabric, wondering how thick it was. Patiently, she replied, “Yeah.”

“Somewhere near Yukigakure, I think,” he replied. “Don’t really know the specifics.”

“Mm.” She considered the poncho some more, stroking her chin as her brows furrowed. “Yukigakure, huh? That would probably do…”

“Sakura-chan?”

He sounded confused.

Sakura turned on the balls of her feet to look at him, smiling. “Hey, Naruto?”

“Yeah?”

“Think I can borrow your hawk, later today? I think I’d like to send Sasuke-kun something.”

Naruto blinked, before he smiled brightly and gave her a thumbs up. “Sure! Just come by my apartment when you’re ready!”

Sakura grinned at him. “Thanks!” she said, skipping backwards toward the shop entrance with a wave. “I better go now, but I’ll see you in about an hour!”

.

.

“Ah, Sakura, it’s you,” she heard Kakashi say, as she stepped into his office and quietly closed the door behind her. “I was wondering when you’d visit me.”

Sakura smiled, and moved to face him, giving a polite bow as she greeted, “Kakashi-sama.”

He waved her away and placed his quill on his desk, leaning back into his chair with crinkling eyes. “No need for formalities, Sakura. They make me feel so old.”

Her smile grew wider, and she hummed a little, putting a finger to her chin as she said, “Well, you are getting pretty old, Kaka-sensei.”

She watched as his shoulders slumped and laughed at his exaggerated sigh, wide smile turning into a full grin as he lamented, “Even as Hokage, I still get no respect from my students. What else is a man to do?”

“You’re always complaining, Kakashi-sensei,” she teased, taking the seat in front of his desk. A giggle escaped her when her former teacher leaned his head on his hand and looked at her, sighing once again.

“So what are you bothering this old man for?” Kakashi inquired, his voice nothing but a slow, lazy hum. “I don’t suppose you’re just here for a visit, what with the package you’re carrying.”

“How would you know it isn’t for you?” Sakura retorted, playfully sticking her tongue out.

Kakashi smiled behind his mask, with that all-too-knowing look in his eyes. Softly, he asked, “Is it?”

Cocking a hand on her hip, Sakura grinned. “Nope.”

“Of course not,” her former teacher answered, the laughter clear in his tone. He leaned back into his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. “So what are you sending Sasuke?”

Stiffening a little, Sakura felt her cheeks warm. “How do you know it’s for Sasuke-kun?”

The look Kakashi gave her, then, had her blushing even more.

“It’s…a poncho,” she said quietly, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “I figured maybe it would help him not to get sick again.”

His eyes crinkled again. “That’s very thoughtful of you, Sakura.”

She smiled shyly, and whispered, “Thanks.”

“Naruto sent you to get his hawk, didn’t he?”

Sakura nodded. “Yeah. He forgot he gave it to you for a while, so he told me to see you, in case you still had need of it.”

Kakashi shook his head. “Not at the moment,” he said, and turned to gesture to the hawk perched on the fake branch by the window. “Go right ahead.”

She bowed a little and murmured her thanks, before making her way to the animal cleaning its feathers. Tucking the letter in the wrappings, she caressed the nape of the bird in greeting and secured the package, before softly whispering, “Go—find your master.”

With a smile and longing in her eyes, Sakura leaned her head against the window’s frame, watching the hawk flap its long wings before taking flight; as it faded away into the glowing orange of the sunset sky, she couldn’t help but to wonder when Sasuke’s next visit would be.

.

.

_Sasuke-kun,_

_I heard you got sick. I’m surprised you didn’t bring anything warmer with you before going to the Land of Snow! Did last year’s holiday not teach you anything? You’re not immune to the cold because you breathe fire!_

_So here’s a little something to keep you warm. I’m not sure if it’s thick enough, but Naruto told me you were near Yukigakure, and it’s pretty mild over there. I hope you’ll fare better with it._

_With love,_

_Sakura_

.

.

.

It was nearly twelve weeks after she’d sent him the letter before Sakura saw him at her door again. The first thing she noticed was that he was wearing her poncho.

“Sasuke-kun? Oh, hey!” Her eyes ran along the length of him, and she stepped back, crossing her arms over her chest with a pleased, nearly too-prideful smile. “You’re not sick, I see. Unless you just got recovered from another bad cold, I take it the poncho I sent you did the job?”

He nodded. “How much do I owe you?”

Sakura clicked her tongue and waved him off with a grin. “Nothing!” she said.

When he gave a look of protest and opened his mouth to say something, Sakura giggled a bit, gently grabbing the stump of his arm to stop him.

“No seriously, Sasuke-kun, you don’t owe me anything.” She cocked her head a little, smile coy. With a more affectionate tone, she added, “You can consider it a birthday gift for while you were away.”

He hesitated, but nodded anyway. “Thank you.”

The corners of Sakura’s lips tugged higher, pleased with the way he relented, and she stepped aside to give him space, clasping her hands behind her back. “Well, come in! Why don’t you tell me about your—”

Sasuke’s features shifted, and her smile dropped. She sighed. “Why do you even drop by when you don’t have the time?”

He was silent, and simply looked at her, eyes weighted with guilt. She knew he hated to let her down, after all that had happened between them. She wondered if maybe she wasn’t the only one disappointed when he couldn’t stay.

After a moment, Sasuke murmured, “I didn’t want you to hear I was around and wonder why I never came to see you.”

A blush spread to her cheeks, and she nearly gasped as she peered at him timidly, swallowing the lump in her throat. There was something in the way he looked at her, in the way he held himself and shuffled his feet, that told her maybe, just maybe, there was a little more to it than that.

She swallowed again. Just thinking about the possibility of Sasuke making time to drop by even when he didn’t really have the chance, for the simple reason that he had missed her terribly in his time away, sent her heart careening in anxious rhythms.

Brushing a lock of hair out of her face, she asked him gingerly, “Are you leaving the village again, Sasuke-kun?”

His eyes softened, and he exhaled a long breath, shaking his head lightly. “Council says I’ve been away for too long, so I’ll be here for a while. Just have a few things to deal with today.” He paused, and seemed to hesitate. “I… have time in the evening.”

A tender smile split her lips, as bright as the sun and full of hope. “So you’ll come back? I’d love it if you could.”

His lips twitched. “I’ll be back later tonight, then.”

.

.

Only he wasn’t. Several hours after their meeting, there had been news of a flood in the neighboring village. Kakashi had sent a good deal of the Konoha-Leaf nin population to help; Sasuke amongst them. Sakura had been instructed to go, too, but she’d been in a vastly different area, handling the wounded and those at death’s door. Their paths had crossed a few times, where he’d brought wounded, dirty and wet people, and they had shared a look and a nod, but that was as far as their situation allowed their interaction.

After no more than a day and a half, they sent her home once everything was under control, no longer needed now that all that was left to do was to scout and clear out debris. She’d wanted to help, too, but was told by Iruka (who’d been leading the operation) that they had more than enough people to do the task, and that she had been requested back to the village anyway, because Lady Tsunade had taken too much sake again and was too hungover to run the hospital. Shizune was currently taking control of things, but word was heard that there was a little too much work to be handled for one person. Sakura had only nodded her assent and started her way back home in a rush, feeling slightly disappointed, but understanding that it was nothing personal.

She was more needed at the hospital, anyway.

.

.

The next time Sasuke went to her house, it was several days after she’d been sent back home. Surprisingly, he was not the one to initiate the visit, this time.

“Sasuke-kun?” she said, straightening herself from her crouched fighting stance, bafflement clear to her tone. “Why are you—It’s almost four in the morning, what are you doing out here?”

Sasuke’s mouth parted, his eyes a little wide as he stood halfway down the stairs of her front porch. He was evidently stunned that she was awake, and even moreso that she’d known he was here when he hadn’t even knocked in the first place.

“…You’re awake,” he said slowly, frowning. “I thought you were sleeping. What are you doing up?”

Sakura pursed her lips a little, gaze falling to the ground, and rubbed her free hand over her arm to rid herself of goosebumps. “I had a nightmare,” she said. “I don’t get them very often, but I couldn’t get back to sleep. So I got up to get a glass of water in the kitchen when I saw a shadow by the door.” She smiled, small and quiet and only meant for him. She waved the kunai pointedly. “I thought you were a burglar or something.”

His eyes stayed fixed on her, and she shivered at their intensity. She was glad that the night was cold—Sasuke would likely not think of blaming it on anything else. Expectedly, he frowned at her shuddering, and she nearly giggled when he started towards her and lead her back inside, closing the door behind them.

“You shouldn’t be out dressed like that,” he muttered.

Despite his concern, Sakura thought he looked exhausted. She wondered if he had been getting enough sleep, recently.

“You shouldn’t be out at all at a time like this, Sasuke-kun,” she replied with patience. “What were you doing here, earlier? Why didn’t you knock?”

His lips mulled together, and he was quiet for a moment.

“I needed a place to sleep, but all the inns are full with the villagers from the next town because of the flood,” he finally said. “I came here out of habit, but when I realized the time I…” He looked away, and let his gaze fall to the ground. “I didn’t want to wake you.”

Sakura could practically feel her heart melting in response, his words creeping warmth into her skin. She smiled tenderly, and reached out to cup his cheek with a gentle hand. She swallowed as he stiffened in surprise, but was glad that he didn’t jump away from her.

“Don’t ever be afraid to knock at my door, Sasuke-kun,” she murmured. “There’s always going to be a place for you here—especially if you need to rest and you have nowhere else to go.” Her hand fell from his face, fingers brushing the line of his jaw in a way that felt so natural. She trembled as his mouth parted a bit, and beamed brightly at him. “But if it really means that much to you, then you won’t have to worry about waking me up because I’ll leave my bedroom window open for you, all right?” Laughing softly, she looked at him sheepishly. “I’d give you a spare key instead but… I don’t have one right now.”

Sasuke’s eyes lightened, shining with such soft mirth that she couldn’t help but smile again, feeling shy. She thought he must have caught the meaning behind her words.

For one long moment, he did nothing but look at her. She could see the gratitude, the affection. She could see how it meant something to him, to always have a place to come back to. To have someone, somewhere, always waiting for him to come home.

His gaze flickered to her mouth, and Sakura held her breath—she’d read enough romance novels to know what that meant. The seconds passing were near agonizing, as she stared at him and waited for him to do something.

But after a moment, he merely said, “Thank you.”

She could only nod dumbly, before silently turning around and bidding a quiet goodnight, wondering if she’d gotten it all wrong as she headed back to her room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Despite what the end of this chapter might seem like, their first kiss is actually still ways away, just so you know. It's not a slow-burn fic for nothing! ;)


	4. four

Sasuke didn’t get up at all, the next day. She’d woken up in the morning and walked out of her bedroom with a yawn, expecting to see him up and about her kitchen. Instead, she’d stopped herself short when she noticed he was still fast asleep on her couch, hair a wild disarray. Quietly, she’d made her way across the room and into her kitchen, eating her breakfast in silence and most carefully putting her dishes away, before it was finally time to leave for work. Stealing one last quick look to his peacefully slumbering form, she headed out her front door with an apple in hand and a soft smile to her lips.

Thirteen hours later, when Sakura came home late in the evening, she’d walked through the door with a greeting ready to her lips; but her words were swallowed down as she found Sasuke still passed out on her couch, breathing softly, with his hand still resting on his stomach as it had been earlier this morning. Pursing her lips, she frowned lightly for a moment, before concluding that making dinner would only wake him up from his apparently much needed sleep.

With a gentle smile, Sakura noiselessly made her way to his side and bent down to press a tender kiss to his forehead, brushing a few dark, stray locks out of his face, before she slipped out of her home again to quell her hunger with take-out instead.

If Sasuke wasn’t awake by the time she got home again, it was probably best she check up on his health.

.

.

“Sasuke-kun,” she called gently, tucking her hair behind her ear. When he didn’t stir, Sakura pursed her lips a little. “Sasuke-kun,” she tried again, reaching out to touch his cheek tenderly. She blushed meekly at the way he leaned into her touch, eyes blinking open lazily. As he groaned, she moved her hand to his shoulder, fingers clutching at him kindly.

“M’wake…” he mumbled, making no comment as she helped his drowsy self sit up. He ran his lone hand through his hair, blinking sleepily, and looked at her only when she took her hand off. “Wha’ time izit?”

“Nine-thirty,” she said softly, tipping her head down a little to look at him. “Are you feeling okay? Any dizziness? Headache? Nausea?”

He shook his head, and ran his fingers through his hair. “Just tired,” he mumbled, falling back into the couch and throwing his good arm over his face. “Haven’t slept properly in weeks.”

Sakura’s mouth parted with a soft, “Oh.” She paused, and bit her lip a little. “I’m sorry, Sasuke-kun,” she said, sympathetic. “That must have been really hard.”

He peered at her under his arm, looking almost curious through his exhaustion. “Is… everything okay?”

She blushed, and almost startled. “What? Oh, no, Sasuke-kun, everything’s fine! I just… You’ve been sleeping a lot—I just wanted to make sure you’re not sick.”

Sasuke stared at her, and smiled a bit. “Well, I’m not,” he murmured, eyes slipping shut softly. “Wake me up if you need anything…”

With a gentle smile, Sakura merely nodded. Pausing, she hesitated, before poking him lightly.

“Sasuke-kun…”

He sighed, and slowly moved to sit up again, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He was exhausted, and so very obviously at that, with his ashen complexion and the dark, dark circles under the rims—and it warmed her heart to see him so easily brushing away his sleep for her because he thought she needed him, even when he wanted nothing more than to pass out again and sleep for another twenty four hours.

“What is it?”

Sakura smiled. “I know my couch isn’t the most comfortable thing in the world, so you should take the bed. I have a night shift, and I won’t be back until early morning. You’ll sleep much better there.”

“I’m fine here…”

“Sasuke-kun,” she pressed, reaching out to hold his cheek when he tried to look away. Her eyes softened, and she gave him another smile. “You’re exhausted. Take my bed.”

Sasuke paused, lips mulling together, then nodded after a moment and moved himself off her couch, standing unsurely beside her. A soft giggle slipped from Sakura’s mouth, and she took hold of his wrist, patiently leading him down the hallway and into her room. Once past her door, she moved aside in a silent invitation, and he cautiously moved towards the bed, giving her a hesitant glance. She responded with a smile, and watched as his stiff shoulders finally relaxed, the softest sound of relief leaving his mouth while he slipped between her sheets as quiet as the night.

Unable to help herself, Sakura observed him; eyes running over the soft, wearied features of the love of her life, watching him take every breath and hearing every hitch, the creased lines of his brows smoothened with rest. Once she was certain he was well within the grasps of deep slumber, she noiselessly slid out of her room, closed the door behind her, and headed out to work again.

.

.

It was seven hours before Tsunade had no longer deemed her presence necessary and sent her home. Sakura was a little startled, but knew better than to argue with her master, responding to the dismissal with a simple nod before she started her way out of the hospital and back towards her apartment. When she stepped inside, she smiled woozily at the sight of Sasuke’s sandals—a striking reminder that he was well and truly here, sleeping in her home, her bed.

With a happy sigh and a growing grin, Sakura sluggishly shrugged off her lab coat and dragged herself over to her living room, letting her the bloodied uniform slip to the floor as she dropped onto her couch and sank heavily into it. Taking a long breath, she hummed and closed her eyes, the smell of him mulling her into a perfect, comfortable state of drowsiness and contentment.

 _Sasuke-kun,_ was all she remembered thinking before the pull of sleep finally won over, giving way to a world where Sasuke’s warmth was at her side, his hand wrapped around her smaller one as he looked at her with his fond, mismatched eyes and whispered words of a love so grand he could never bear to part from her again.

.

.

When she woke, she was in her bed.

Staggered, Sakura had sprung forward from the mattress, taking in the familiarity of her light colored walls and bookshelves full of medical volumes, all acting as a confirmation that she well and truly in her room. Sasuke must have moved her, she realized, biting the inside of her cheeks and feeling the familiar warmth of a burning blush. Her eyes drew themselves to the other side of the bed, and she wasn’t surprised to find it empty, safe for a partial imprint left in the wake of his earlier presence. He had likely gone back to taking her couch, no doubt finding it improper to sleep in the same bed.

Still, the thought of Sasuke waking up some time in the night and frowning in disapproval upon finding her passed out on the couch had her skin tingling with girlish excitement. As a ninja, she had never been a particularly heavy sleeper—which meant that Sasuke had either been painstakingly careful not to wake her when he took her in his arms (one he had summoned with susano, she suspected) and carried her to her bedroom. That, or she had been much more exhausted than she’d originally thought.

Stretching her limbs languidly, Sakura’s mouth strained with a long yawn, a sleepy smile tugging at her lips as she rubbed at her eyes and pushed herself off the bed. She wondered of Sasuke’s whereabouts to herself while stepping out into the hallway, and if she should prepare him breakfast to thank him for his kindness. But she stopped herself short when the smell of cooking food caught her attention.

Her lips parted, warmth rushing through her heart and shrouding it wholly with feelings of complete adoration. Sasuke, it seemed, had already thought of it.

With clammy palms and a grin to her lips, Sakura made a beeline for the kitchen.

She stepped into the room to find the table set for the both of them, and Sasuke at the counter, wearing her favorite apron. With the help of a summoned, spectral purple arm, he quietly chopped away at a tomato and an apple, at times handling the two pans at the stove. Sakura couldn’t tell what he was cooking, but the way her mouth watered at the aroma told her it could be nothing short of delicious.

Starting towards the table, she watched as Sasuke’s shoulders stiffened, hands stuttering in their task and just barely missing his fleshed thumb. She coughed a little to hide her giggle, pretending not to notice the red creeping at his neck.

“Morning,” he greeted, his voice nothing but a murmur.

She smiled, and moved to sit at the table, replying back with love, “Good morning, Sasuke-kun.”

The ghost of a smile passed his lips, but he turned to the pans to hide it from her, flipping the contents several times. Before long, he slipped what she realized was tamagoyaki onto two different plates. Leaning her head on her hands, she watched with a most tender gaze as he ran a hand through his hair and placed tomatoes on a plate, and apples slices on the other.

“I made breakfast,” he said, as he made his way to her and brought the food to the table.

Her heart fluttered and melted with affection. Sakura smiled wider. “So you did.”

.

.

He stayed for a couple of days, sleeping most of them. That was the point she realized how exhausted he was.

Most times she’d wake up and walk out of her room to find him soundly passed out at his usual place on her couch. She would tiptoe to his side and gently prod him awake, inviting him to take the bed. Sasuke would shake his head in denial every time, but could never quite put up a fight at her insistence. She would watch him sleepily stumble in the hall, before just as quietly slipping into the bathroom for a quick shower once he had disappeared into her bedroom.

Oftentimes, she would be too worried to wake him by making herself a proper breakfast, and would simply opt to stop by the market and buy something there. Sakura usually ended up buying the freshest tomatoes as well, as she remembered Sasuke’s affinity to them. The look on his face when she’d bring them home later on that evening always had her heart skipping a beat; throat growing tight with bashfulness, she wouldn’t even be able to respond to his murmured, “Thank you.”

But it was nothing compared to the feeling she got when she came home one night and found a bowl of oyakodon wrapped and still a bit warm, with a note that said, _I hope you like it. I didn’t know how else to thank you._

“Sasuke-kun…” she murmured to herself, pulling the note to her heart. She glanced around the kitchen door and down the hallway, finding the door of her bedroom just barely cracked open. Smiling, she took the bowl in her hands and went to warm it up.

While waiting, Sakura seemed to remember about the laundry she wanted to fold that morning but had never gotten the chance to, due to an emergency at the hospital. She pushed herself off the counter and made her way to the laundry room, thinking to herself that she could at least get started until her meal was ready. Overcome with the urge to yawn, she pulled her arms over her head and stretched languidly, mouth pulling into a lazy smile. It had been a long day, but she couldn’t find it in herself to be anything but happy when she had Sasuke to come home to, and a warm meal waiting for her.

A warm meal he'd prepared _for_ her.

Pushing the door open, she realized that wasn’t everything he did for her. She stood there doe-eyed, staring at what were supposed to be messy piles of clean clothes ready to be tended to—but what were instead clean, organized heaps of folded clothes. A blush darkened her cheeks. She wasn’t sure she could look at him straight in the eye if she talked to him tonight, knowing he had seen and touched all of her underwear. Even then, her whole body still warmed pleasantly at the thoughtfulness he displayed.

The microwave went off, and she snapped out of her trance. With one last look at the piles, Sakura smiled to herself and made her way back to satiate her hunger.


	5. five

There was something about the way that he looked when he slept that calmed her, these days. In the years before, Sasuke had never been one to sleep particularly well, or even peacefully—but ever since the months after his return to Konoha when he was seventeen, she had noticed a change. His brows smoothened, free of any creases of sorrow and pain, lips now parted softly instead of tightly mulled together, his body scarcely stiff with tension. He still had nightmares on some nights, but Sakura found that they quickly came to him less and less, until weeks passed by without their presence. She wondered when had been his last one.

Feeling another yawn creeping upon her, Sakura stifled it as best as she could. Her head lolled sleepily in her chair, eyes still fixed on his soft, slumbering features. She considered taking the spot next to him, but turned down the idea when she recognized that could wake him. Slipping out of her seat, she hesitated, before silently padding her way over and pressing a kiss to his cheek.

She didn’t expect for his eyes to flutter open sluggishly, unfocused. Sakura stiffened a little, and swallowed.

“…Sorry,” she whispered, feeling her face grow hot. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Sasuke merely gave a slow blink, his sleepy gaze running softly over the features of her face. She couldn’t help but to realize how close they were at this moment, and instantly went to put some distance between them, biting her cheek.

When she turned and started walking away, she heard him mumble, voice a bit husky, “What are you doing? You’re not taking the couch.”

Blushing, she made her way to the bed again, and had just started making her way around it when Sasuke drowsily moved to sit on the edge.

“I’ll take it,” he muttered, running his hand through his mussed hair.

“Wait—no!” she sputtered, just as he went to push himself to his feet. His head turned towards her, evidently surprised. She felt dizzy all of a sudden. “I-It’s just… well, I know you haven’t been sleeping well on my couch… a-and I know that you’ve been sleeping really well here…” Her eyes quickly flickered in his direction, and Sakura ducked her head once she noticed the intensity of his gaze.

Feeling abundantly embarrassed and like she had said more than enough, she mutely walked around the bed and slid beneath the covers, eyes meeting his shyly. She saw his fingers twitch, saw the pursing of his mouth in slight hesitation… before he finally nodded and slipped into bed again, lying unsurely beside her.

Her heartbeat pounded deafeningly in her ears, dizzying her mind. But the way he glanced at her in silent question had her stomach flipping excitedly, a fond smile growing to her mouth.

“Good night, Sasuke-kun,” Sakura murmured, turning on her side to face him and snuggling the covers.

His shoulders relaxed, and the hint of a smile twitched at his lips. “Good night, Sakura.”

When she woke up the next morning, he was gone, but his scent had yet to fade from her sheets, and the mattress was still imprinted and warm, confirming that he had indeed stayed the night. Rolling over the other side to bask in the remnants of Sasuke’s essence, Sakura giggled and buried her face in the pillow he’d slept with, but was surprised to find a paper.

_“Heading out to Suna for a mission. Won’t be gone for long. You can expect me in two days. Also… you’re right. I sleep much better here. Thank you for letting me stay.”_

.

.

_(She never slept in the middle again, leaving his side of the bed empty.)_

.

.

.

True to his words, Sasuke was back two days later, in the early hours of the morning, when it was still dark.

Sakura had been well within the depths of sleep, dreaming of mismatched eyes and dark hair, of whispered words of affection and a most gentle touch—before being rudely awakened by a quiet _thump_. She nearly jumped in surprise, hand reaching for the kunai she had hidden under her pillow, but as her bleary eyes took in the sight of a familiar head of disarrayed black locks, she quickly relaxed.

She watched as he swayed a little on his feet, running his hand through his hair with a tired sigh. His head cocked a little in her direction, and Sakura found herself wishing it wasn’t so dark so she could see whatever emotion flickered across the depths of his gaze. He started making his way towards the door of her room, but had barely taken more than three steps before stiffening abruptly and snapping his head in her direction, again. Anticipation weighed heavy in her heart as he stared at her for a few moments, his shoulders tense.

But just as his name readied itself to spill from her lips, the tightness eased away, body shifting in her direction.

“Sakura…” she heard him murmur, as he padded softly towards the bed. Her heartbeat quickened when his hand reached for her, brushing bright stray locks from her face so gently that she almost didn’t feel it. Sasuke didn’t seem to know she was awake.

She watched as he pulled back, tugging off his dirtied vest and toeing off his boots, before finally slipping beneath the sheets of her bed with a long, quiet sigh, head tipping in her direction. Sakura couldn’t help the sleepy smile from growing to her lips.

.

.

.

She woke up the next morning to the hollow sound of a scroll hitting the hardwood floor, followed by a soft curse. Springing up in surprise, hazy, wide green eyes met the sight of Sasuke's stiffened form, a group of scrolls tucked between his elbow and his side. By the alarmed look on his face, it was evident one had slipped out of his hold.

The tenseness of his shoulders eased, and he frowned, lips tightening a little. “I didn't mean to wake you,” he said lowly, moving to tuck the items in the bag he'd settled on her desk. “You can go back to sleep, I'm leaving in a few minutes.”

“Leaving?” she questioned softly, her heart lurching. He was going back already?

There was a pause in his work. She saw him glance over his shoulder, his expression almost tender. It had a blush rising to her cheeks.

“I have to give my mission report,” he replied simply, slinging the bag over his head and shifting to look at her. “I'll come back.”

Sitting back, Sakura let out a small breath of relief, smiling gently. “All right, Sasuke-kun. Will you be here for lunch?”

He nodded. “Tsunade asked me to stop by the hospital, but I should be back in time.”

“Is there anything in particular you'd like to have?”

She swore she had seen his lips twitch. “Whatever you do will be fine,” he said, waving his hand vaguely and heading towards her open window. “See you.”

Swallowing tightly, Sakura watched as Sasuke slipped out of her room with a quiet grace, jumping lithely from rooftop to rooftop, before finally sinking into her bed as he finally vanished from sight.

“Maybe I could make tomato onigri,” she mused to herself, hand slipping to her quickly beating heart. “Sasuke-kun would like that, wouldn't he?”

.

.

It was half past noon when she finally heard rapping on her door.

“Come in!” she called, sliding the plate of nori-wrapped onigri onto her dining table and rearranging the bamboo place mats. “You're right on time, Sasuke-kun, I've just finished making lunch!” she said, turning once she heard soft footsteps echoing in the adjoining room. “I just need to get a kettle going for the tea and—”

Her mouth slipped shut when Sai stepped through the door frame, dressed in his ANBU gear. “Oh,” she mumbled, feeling her cheeks flush a little. She wondered how it sounded to him, someone who still had a hard time grasping the nature of bonds, to hear her talking so familiarly towards Sasuke. Shuffling her feet, she cleared her throat and said, “Hey, Sai. What brings you here?”

Nodding in acknowledgment, Sai presented her with a scroll. “You've been summoned at the hospital, Sakura-san. Tsunade-sama would like to see you.”

Mouth pulling in a frown, Sakura made a noise like a grunt, but reached for the scroll nonetheless. She had been looking forward to a lunch with Sasuke, especially when he was bound to leave within the week, she suspected.

Sighing, she asked, “Did she say what it was about?”

Sai shook his head. “No,” he replied. “I had just been discharged and was on my way to leave when Tsunade-sama intercepted me and asked me to deliver this to you.”

“Discharged? You got injured?”

He gave her one of his strange smiles, those of which she had yet to get used to. “Nothing of worth. Minor lacerations and a few bad bruises that I felt would only be bothersome in my travels tomorrow.”

“Another one?” She frowned, and put a hand on her hip. “You've been relentless with missions lately, Sai. Take it easy. I'm sure others can fill in for you.”

Sai shrugged. “If I am of great use to the village right now, I see nothing wrong.”

Sighing, Sakura shook her head, and smiled. “Well, all right, I guess. Take care of yourself out there, Sai.”

He nodded. “As always,” he said, turning on his heels and starting his way down to the front door. “Good day to you, Sakura-san.”

Sakura smiled lightly, and sighed again once he finally left, eyes drawn to the scroll in her hand. She wondered what Tsunade wanted, and where Sasuke was. Perhaps still at the hospital—she doubted he was wandering around when he'd told her he would come back for lunch.

Pursing her lips, she hummed, and grabbed the plate, heading towards the kitchen to stock the food she had made into two separate bento boxes. Hopefully, she could see Sasuke and pass on his lunch, if they were not able to eat together.

_(she hoped that they would.)_

.

.

“There you are,” her mentor had called, once Sakura had finally arrived. Putting a hand to her hip, Tsunade smirked. “I was beginning to think you wouldn't show up.”

Sakura smiled, shaking her head. “You sent Sai to get me barely half an hour ago, Tsunade-shishou.”

“And you live seven minutes away. What, did Sai catch you in the shower?”

Laughing lightly, Sakura exclaimed, “I was packing lunch!”

Huffing, Tsunade gave a light hum, eyeing the two boxes, before giving her a knowing look. Sakura could only blush.

“He's in the room down the hall, to your left,” she said, checking the pad in her hand, and scribbling something down. “You'll want to see him.”

“Sasuke-kun? He's still in the hospital, then?”

“Has been since the past four hours. We've been running some tests on him.”

That surprised her. “Tests? Is he—Is he okay?”

“He's fine.” Pausing for a moment, Tsunade said with a light smirk, “He'll have some... adjustments to make, that's all.”

Sakura couldn't find the time to ask what kind of adjustments before her mentor started heading down the hall, urging her along.

“I take it he didn't tell you,” she mused, as they walked. “Though I'm sure it wasn't out of secrecy. He probably didn't know if it was the right time for it.” When Tsunade reached his door, she stopped, and looked at her. “Either way, I thought you'd want to be the first to know.”

“You... summoned me to see Sasuke-kun?”

“Do you want to work instead?” her mentor questioned, amused. “I can certainly put you to use—”

“ _No_!” Sakura's eye's widened, and she blushed fiercely, stammering, “I mean—It's not like I hate work but—”

Chuckling lightly, Tsunade put a hand in her hair softly. “No need to explain yourself.” She drew her hand back, and tipped her head indicatively. “Now go—Have lunch with the man you love.”

“Ah—thank you, Tsunade-sama,” she said, biting the inside of her cheeks nervously, face still warm. Taking a deep breath, she finally pushed open the door and slipped inside Sasuke's room, wondering what could have possibly kept him here this long.

She wasn't prepared to see him sitting on the bed, frowning, and testily rolling his left arm. The one which was supposed to have been missing— _had_ been missing, for the better part of the last two years, since his final battle with Naruto.

The bento boxes dropped to the floor.


	6. six

She didn't know how long she stood there, unmoving, unblinking, wide eyes locked on mismatched counterparts that seemed equally as surprised. Her mind couldn't seem to properly take in what was right in front of her, couldn't seem to process that Sasuke was sitting on a hospital cot with _both_ of his arms in full limber capacity.

“...Sakura,” she heard him say, his voice low and reluctant, pulling her from her stunned trance. “What are you doing here?”

“I—Tsunade-sama,” she mumbled, her gaze moving to fix his bandaged arm. Like Naruto's, she couldn't help but to note. “She sent me a summon—” Cutting herself short, Sakura waved her hand in dismissal and said, “Sasuke-kun, your _arm_ , you—you accepted the prosthetic?”

He nodded, slowly. “Tsunade asked me this morning. I wasn't sure I even needed it anymore, so I didn't know if I wanted to take it.”

Her eyes softened. “What changed your mind?”

“I had the opportunity to make things easier for me. To stop wasting chakra summoning Susano if I needed the extra arm.” He shrugged. “I didn't see why I shouldn't accept it.”

Heart giving a slow, elongated flutter, Sakura smiled. She bent down to pick up the bento boxes from the ground, and padded softly towards his bed.

His eyes flicked to the containers. “You brought lunch?”

Her smile widened. “I made tomato onigri,” she said, handing him his share. “You like that, right?”

His hands reached to accept the offered meal. Sasuke's gaze was gentle as he looked up to her; his quiet awe had her heartbeat quickening.

“You didn't have to do that,” he replied softly. “I told you whatever you would do would be fine.”

Humming thoughtfully, Sakura took a seat at the end of his bed, her wide smile fading into something more tender. “Well you're not here often, Sasuke-kun, and you can't be eating too well when you're out there. Can you blame me for wanting to give you something that you'll like, and that you might not be able to have for a while?”

“...I suppose not.” There was a silence, before he finally murmured, “Thank you.”

Sakura nudged him, so playfully light, before she said to him, her voice full of affection, “You're welcome, Sasuke-kun.”

These were the last words exchanged, for a while. Quietly, comfortably, they ate, and Sakura could hardly help herself from stealing quick, shy glances at him, enjoying his company despite the silence. She couldn't tell for certain, but from the lightness of his eyes, and the spark of something so tender when he met her gaze, she thought he might be enjoying her company, too.

The thought had her stomach fluttering warmly.

“How does it feel?” she asked, once Sasuke looked down at his left hand, blinking in apparent wonder. He was still getting used to having another arm, clearly.

Sasuke looked at her, and paused for a long, long moment. His mismatched eyes flickered over her face, as if considering. She found herself stiffening when he reached with his new hand, finally, fingers meeting the skin of her jaw with the lightest touch. His mouth parted, and she felt her breath hitch, throat growing unbearably tight as he stroked his thumb along the line of it, before he moved to delve his fingers through her hair, sifting gently. He looked at her, so very carefully, eyes soft and filled with tenderness that made her heart skip a few beats.

“Better than anything I'd imagined.”

.

.

.

The change in him was instant, after he'd walked home with her that day. There was nothing he didn't want to help her around with.

Sakura had long been used to doing most of her chores alone, had often even insisted that Sasuke do nothing, on account of him being her guest. He went out of his way to do them anyway, at times, and she liked to suspect it was because he felt he wanted to return some of the kindness she always displayed to him—but she wasn't accustomed to have him assist on everything she was doing.

“You know, you don't have to keep doing this,” she said to him one day, as she found him hanging their laundry in the backyard. Her brows furrowed. “It's really nice of you, don't get me wrong Sasuke-kun, but I've always been fine doing these things on my own, and I don't want you to feel forced to help me out because I'm letting you stay here.”

Sasuke gave a low hum, carrying on with his task. “I know I don't have to,” he said, after a moment, eyes finally meeting hers. “When have I ever let anyone force me to do anything, Sakura?”

Her jaw slackened. He was doing it because he wanted to.

Clasping her hands, she cocked her head lightly and gave him a warm smile. He held her gaze for a moment, before quickly looking away.

“Besides, it's good practice,” he said, reaching to take the empty basket off the ground. He could barely meet her eyes when he straightened again, and Sakura bit her lip to keep from smiling wider. “It helps me get used to having two arms again.”

“Well, in that case,” she spoke softly, eyes softening, “will you help me make dinner, after we finish putting up the next batch? I'm thinking of making yakiniku donburi.”

“All right.”

Her smile grew.

.

.

.

For weeks, it carried on like this; cooking together, washing, hanging and folding laundry together, cleaning dishes, sweeping and mopping the floorboards, even sharpening their weapons together. They fell into a habit, a comfortable way of living that felt almost strangely marital to Sakura, and often had her flushing when the thought came to mind.

Until one morning, he was gone, along with the travel bag he had kept in her living room during his stay—a clear indication that Sasuke had left the village again on his path of redemption. On her dining table lay a simple note:

_I can't thank you enough for everything you've done for me lately,_ it read. _And_ _I'm sorry I couldn't say goodbye. One of my hawks came with urgent news from the Fire Country, and I had to leave right away. I know you would have wanted me to wake you, but you looked too peaceful. Until next time._

Her heart sank a little with disappointment, but Sakura brushed it aside, confident that he would come back to visit as soon as he could. Sasuke, it seemed, couldn’t seem to stay away for too long, these days. She hoped that meant he was almost ready to settle down in Konoha indefinitely.

.

.

.

“Hey, Kakashi-sama,” she greeted, raising her hand in a small wave.

Eying the brown paper bag she held in her hands, Kakashi put down his quill and smiled behind his mask. “Sakura,” he acknowledged. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen you step inside this office without being called. What brings you here?”

Gesturing the bag, Sakura grinned and said, “I made you a lunch! Your favorite, too.”

He leaned back in his chair. “Oh? I don’t believe you’ve ever made me my favorite before.”

She smiled sheepishly and handed him the bag. “I borrowed the recipe from Shizune. It’s the first time I’ve made it though… so it’s probably not gonna be as good as hers.”

“I’m sure it’ll be just fine.” He dug into the bag and put out the contents on his desk in languid moves. “Any reason you’re being so nice to me?”

“Well, I was wondering about the best A-class missions you had…”

He sighed, sounding dejected as he lamented, “Of course this would be a bargain...”

Sakura laughed. “I’m just kidding. I missed you! How are you?”

“Busy as ever,” he replied. “But I am well.”

Sakura eyed the stacks of papers around his desk. “Still neglecting your duties, clearly. You should really stop procrastinating, Kakashi-sama.”

“An old man needs a break—managing an entire village and dealing with cranky elders is very tiring, you know. Political business is no walk in the park.”

She laughed again. “Don’t I know it. I don’t know how many meetings I’ve attended now about opening up that hospital ward for children affected by the war. Who knew it was so complicated?”

“Hmm.” Kakashi rolled a peach around in his hand, looking at it thoughtfully.

Sakura smiled. “I’m sure it’ll be worth it in the end, though.”

“Me too.” Eyes crinkling, Kakashi put down the fruit and said, “So how is Sasuke? Are you two faring well?”

A blush colored her cheeks, her eyes growing a little wider. “What do you mean?”

Kakashi leaned his chin in his hand, smiling behind his mask. “You guys haven’t exactly been acting as friends since he came back, Sakura.”

Sakura blushed harder, lowering her gaze to the floor.

“And besides, I hear he’s been visiting you quite a lot.”

Clearing her throat, Sakura tucked her hair behind her ear and mumbled, “Not really… He drops by, but he doesn’t really stay long. Not usually anyway.” She paused. “I’m sure he’s been doing the same to you and Naruto.”

“He hasn’t, actually.”

Her heart thumped loudly, skipping beats. She looked up at Kakashi again, stunned. “He… hasn’t?”

His eyes crinkled even more. “You’re the only one he bothers to see when he’s around, Sakura. Most of the time, anyway.”

Heart racing, Sakura tried to catch the wild thoughts in her head, suddenly dizzy.

Kakashi leaned back in his chair, a softness to his features. There was a strange happiness in his gaze, like he knew something she didn’t. It had her breath catching a little.

“It’s obvious Sasuke cares a great deal for you. I think he misses you more than you know. More than he misses any of us.”

Sakura didn’t know what to say to that.

.

.

“Forehead! Hey!”

Blinking, Sakura shifted to her left and smiled when she noticed Ino trotting down the sidewalk with two bags of fertilizer in her arms.

“Pig,” she greeted, giving a teasing wink. “Tsunade gave you a day off work? You’re usually at the hospital when I’m not.”

“It's been crazy with the shop,” Ino replied, waving her off. “My mom said she _really_ needed help, so I talked to Tsunade about having this next week off work.”

“I’m surprised she didn’t try to negotiate with you,” Sakura joked, snorting.

Ino adjusted the heavy bags in her arms with mild nonchalance. “Tell me about it,” she said. Her eyes drew themselves to the Hokage tower. “Kakashi called you in? Did he give you a mission? You haven’t had one in a while.”

Sakura shook her head. “I just came to see him. Hadn’t talked with him since a few months, so I thought maybe I should visit.”

“You probably did him a favor anyway,” Ino said, laughing. “The only thing that man knows how to do is procrastinate—sometimes I think he’s worse than Shikamaru!”

Sakura smiled, nudging her childhood friend’s shoulder. “Yeah, but Shikamaru isn’t interested in prying into other people’s lives, at least,” she said, blushing a little. Kakashi’s last words hadn’t been able to leave her mind quite yet.

Ino blinked, cocking her head curiously. “What, did he pry about you and Sasuke’s sex life or something?”

Blushing furiously, Sakura gaped and sputtered, “ _I-Ino_! What are you talking about? There’s nothing like _that_ going on between me and Sasuke-kun!”

Shrugging, Ino grinned and said, “Sorry. He’s just always at your place, whenever he comes around. Nobody ever sees him much of anywhere else, other than the Hokage tower for his reports, or sometimes Naruto's apartment. It’s just a little suspicious to everybody.”

Cheeks still flushed, Sakura rubbed her arm and kept her eyes to the ground, muttering, “Yeah… I’m starting to think it’s a little suspicious, too.”

.

.

It was all she could think about when she got home that night, mind filled with nothing but questions about their relationship.

She thought she’d had a revelation, long ago, in that time Sasuke left on his path of redemption. It was that look in his eyes, she remembered—the one he had when he bumped his fingers to her forehead with a smile, the subtle intensity of his gaze strengthening when he whispered, “Thank you…”

It sent her heart pounding, back then, still had it quickening in beats even now. She’d never seen him look at her like that, and she remembered realizing that it looked such an awful lot like a man in love. She remembered coming home that night, breathless and flushed, thinking to herself, _Sasuke-kun loves me, Sasuke-kun loves me. Sasuke-kun **loves** me. He’s in love with me_.

Sakura wasn’t sure what caused her to backpedal, but she thought her self-doubt was probably the reason why. After all, how would she know what a man in love looked like? It wasn't like she had experience, save for all the television novellas she'd watched in her early teenage years. Sasuke hadn't looked at anyone else like that, but that couldn't mean by default that he was in love with her, surely. It had been her lifelong dream for Sasuke to return her feelings, and these days Sakura thought to herself that maybe she was simply too desperate to believe it was finally coming true.

Sighing, she made her way towards the kitchen to make a cup of tea. She wondered what Sasuke was up to, and where he was now, as she busied herself with filling the kettle with water. She almost didn’t notice the packet on the far end of her counter when she turned around to get the tea sachets, nearly too caught up in her thoughts.

“What’s this?” she murmured to herself, reaching for it. Gently undoing the wrappings, she found herself surprised when she uncovered a silver necklace with a cherry blossom petal design within its confines, roped around a small parchment.

As she opened the fragile paper, she read, _Came by to see you. You weren’t there. Wanted to give you this._

Her heart fluttered warmly. As she tucked the necklace to her chest, a gentle, loving smile slipped to her lips.

Maybe she had been right all along.


	7. seven

The wait for his next return was agonizingly long.

With every day Sakura spent working at the hospital, she wondered to herself if Sasuke was home, waiting for her, or if he'd passed by and simply left on his trip again once he found she wasn't there. She would wait eagerly for every shift to end, before running back to her apartment and yanking open her front door, eyes instantly drawing themselves to the space where she placed her shoes, in the hopes of finding Sasuke's there.

At their absence, her shoulders would slack, heart slowing its thundering beat. A soft, slow sigh falling from her lips, Sakura would carry on with the routine of her day with slow, disheartened movements, Sasuke's absence having brought a strange sort of void in her life that was different from the one before.

Perhaps because now, with the reality that her love wasn't quite as unrequited as she'd always thought it to be, she couldn't wait to see him again.

With every knock at her door, her heart swelled with the hope that it was him. The window of her room remained unlocked, his side of the bed left empty in the event he would return during the night. Her birthday came and went, and Sakura tried not to be too disappointed that he wasn't there for it.

It was roughly four months since he'd left before she finally found him at her door again.

She could tell he'd noticed she was wearing the necklace when his mismatched eyes flickered briefly to her neck, softening in the same breath. She smiled widely, and leaned against the frame, fluttery sensations swimming in the pit of her stomach.

“So,” she said, watching him with gleaming green, green eyes. Her smile took a playful twist. “How much do I owe you?”

Sasuke smirked, if only a little, as if teasing. “Nothing,” he said. “You can consider if a birthday gift while I was away.”

Grinning uncontrollably, Sakura laughed sweetly and threw her arms around him in an instinctive move, hugging him close. She couldn't help but to tense in slight once she'd realized what she'd done, throat growing anxiously tight when he stiffened just as well, but just as she'd begun to think about pulling away, she felt his arms slowly winding around her, holding her tightly.

She could feel his heart pounding rapidly against his chest as he nudged his chin to the top of her head, beating just as wildly as hers was, and couldn't help but to smile at this, a pleased blush blooming over her cheeks. Tucking her face into his shirt, she let out a slow, quiet exhale, and hugged him closer, feeling so very much in love and happy.

“Thank you, Sasuke-kun. I love it.”

Sasuke merely tightened his hold on her, sighing against her hair in transparent contentment.

.

.

.

They fell back into their near-marital normalcy almost instantly, but somehow, they were even closer.

Sakura was bolder when it came to her affections for him. Now that she was fairly certain Sasuke harbored the same feelings, and didn't often try to hold herself back in fear of his discomfort. Her head would find its place against his shoulder on quiet evenings in her living room, arms wrapping around him in a quick greeting upon his return from short missions, fingers gently tracing his own on some nights as they lay in bed and waited for the grasps of sleep to steal them away. He never tried to push her away, never seemed uncomfortable despite his evident surprise; rather, Sasuke seemed nothing short of welcoming and appreciative of her fond gestures.

This only encouraged her to grow braver, more daring in the expression of her feelings—until one sunny afternoon, in the comfort of her living room, as she was reading up on a medical volume for research and he was occupying himself with the upkeep of his weapons, she breached a line she hadn't been aware they were quickly approaching.

It was one of those moments when she felt like she was falling in love with him all over again, heart swelling with a flurry of emotions. She couldn't stop glancing at him every few minutes to watch him work, gaze so wholly warm and tender. It hadn't taken long for Sasuke to notice she had abandoned her readings, but Sakura couldn't find it in herself to be embarrassed that she'd been caught.

“What?” he muttered, dropping her gaze and resuming his task.

Sakura didn't fail to notice the light dusting of his cheeks.

“Nothing.” She smiled to herself, and turned to her book again. “I was just thinking of how good you look.”

Her eyes flickered up to him again, just in time to see his thumb slip against the blade as he jumped, startled, a swift curse falling from his mouth as the sharp metal cut into his skin. The wound was short, but deep, and perhaps on another day, Sakura would have reached for him, feeling sheepishly sorry as her medic instincts promptly kicked in—but in this moment, as she watched the heavy blush creeping over his face, she found she could be nothing but amazed.

She had never seen him so _red_.

The wonder of the moment waned, however, when he looked at her again a while later, blush faded and mismatched eyes full of a simmering, quiet yearning that made her mouth run dry.

.

.

.

“Forehead! There you are!”

Smiling abashedly, Sakura cocked her head and gave a small wave to her friends. “Hey guys, sorry I'm late. I got held up by the hospital.”

Grinning, Ino slipped her arm around her shoulder, and pushed a drink into her hands. “Whatever, Forehead, it's not like anyone cried over your tardiness—well, except Shikamaru. He was beginning to think you didn't care at all about him!”

Shikamaru, upon hearing this, turned from the bar and shot Ino a pointed stare. Ino merely laughed, pulling Sakura closer to herself, prompting a smile out of her.

“Kidding. All that matters is that you're here now!”

“Did anyone not make it?” she questioned. “I heard Chouji left on an important mission, but I wasn't sure it was true.” At the way Ino's smile dimmed, Sakura's gaze softened in compassion. “I'm sorry. Shikamaru must have been so disappointed,” she said softly.

“He says he isn't, but I know he is,” Ino replied, glancing over to her teammate. “Who wouldn't be, when your best friend is missing your engagement party?”

“I'll go say hi, then.”

Ino nodded, and freed Sakura from her hold, calling Sai's name before she left to undoubtedly make her way to him. Sakura merely smiled, and started towards Shikamaru, drink still in hand.

“Congratulations,” she said, when he nodded in greeting. “I hope you two will be very happy.”

Shikamaru raised his drink at her, and said, “Thank you.”

“When's the wedding?”

He shrugged, raising the glass to his lips for a sip. “You'll have to ask Temari for that.”

An amused smile played at her mouth. “You don't even know when your own wedding is going to be?”

Sighing, Shikamaru droned, “Weddings are for women. They're too troublesome.” He paused for a moment, then said, “Temari can choose whatever she likes—I won't complain.”

Her eyes softened. “You want her to be happy.”

He didn't miss a beat as he replied, “Isn't that all you've ever wanted for Sasuke?”

Sakura nearly stiffened, mouth parting in surprise.

Shikamaru smirked, if lightly. “We all want the people we love to be happy,” he said, taking another sip from his drink. Seemingly spotting someone behind her, he gave her another nod and thanked her for coming, before he politely walked past her.

For a moment, Sakura could do nothing but stand there, stunned, and cheeks warm with a light blush. Shikamaru's words couldn't seem to stop ringing through her mind. Tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, she wondered where Sasuke was now, since he had told her this morning he had no intention of coming to the village bar to celebrate Shikamaru's engagement.

_(“I don't know him as well as you do,” he'd said. “I don't particularly care for him, or the Suna girl. There's no reason for me to be there.”)_

“Hey.”

Startled, Sakura looked up, grip loosening terribly on her drink as she was met with the sight of Sasuke, a bottle of rice wine in hand. He looked slightly uncomfortable, as he stood there, but Sakura didn't think it had anything to do with her.

“Sasuke-kun,” she breathed. “You—” She lost her words, and stared at him, her lips curling into a smile. “You came.”

“I did.”

“Why? I mean—this morning you said there wasn't any reason for you to be here.”

Shrugging, Sasuke simply said, “You wanted me to.”

Her breath hitched, heart stumbling in its quickened beat. But she didn't have the chance to respond before Ino came and slung her arms over her shoulders again, laughing.

“Forehead! Why haven't you touched your drink yet? We're here to party!”

“Give me a chance to breathe, Pig, I was going to.”

“Yeah, right,” Ino replied, rolling her eyes. “Hey, Sasuke! Mind if I steal her for a bit?”

Sakura made a noise of complaint, untangling herself from her friend's arms. “I have work tomorrow, Ino!”

“Oh boohoo!” Ino stuck her tongue out. “You're a medic, it's not like you can't take care of a hangover if you get one!” she said. Grabbing her wrist, she tugged forcefully and shouted too happily, “You're coming with me—we're doing some shots!”

Sakura was helpless to resist.

.

.

She couldn't properly focus on anything else but the fact that he was there, despite being away from him for most of the night. She could feel his eyes on the back of her head, wherever she was, could feel them tracing the length of her body, the heavy weight of his attention sending her heart hammering wildly inside her chest. She couldn't help her own from drifting to his form when she had the chance, watching affectionately as he listened halfheartedly to Naruto's loud stories, before feeling a blush take to her cheeks as his eyes always seemed to catch hers. It almost seemed funny to her how they spent most of their night apart, busied with their friends, but still ended up being so painfully, acutely aware of each other.

“You didn't look like you were having such a bad time,” she said to him as she finally approached him again that night. She was tipsy, and a little off-balance, but it was her anxious fiddling she hoped he wouldn't notice. “Naruto entertained you, I take it?”

Sasuke gave a low hum, and filled a second glass with rice wine, pushing it aside in invitation. Sakura smiled, and took the seat next to him, cradling the drink.

“Naruto was an idiot, like always,” he muttered, raising his glass to his lips.

“If he truly bothered you that much, you would have left a long time ago,” she teased, smiling as she had a taste of her own.

Sasuke said nothing to that. She smiled wider, and sipped her drink again.

“I should probably go home,” she said, feeling her head spin and her eyes droop. “It's getting late.”

“Getting late, or are you getting too drunk?”

Sakura laughed lightly, bumping her shoulder to his. “Shut up, Sasuke-kun,” she affectionately chided, taking another swallow from her glass of rice wine. “Don't pretend like you want to stay here, anyway.”

Something that sounded an awful lot like a chuckle slipped from him, but Sakura didn't fully have the mind to know if she had imagined it or not.

“Come on,” he murmured, pushing her glass aside and slapping a few bills on the counter to pay for the emptied bottle. “Let's get you home.”

“Will you stay?” she asked, as he tugged her away from the bar.

When he looked back at her, she could swear she saw the ghost of a smile. “Where else have I got to go?”

.

.

They made a beeline towards the bedroom, once they'd finally gotten home, heading straight to bed.

Lightheaded and sluggish from the alcohol, but too blissfully content to let herself sleep, Sakura simply lay there, staring at the man she loved. He looked especially handsome, like this, body striped under the silver moonlights.

“Are you still awake?” she called so very softly, after a long, lingering while.

She watched as his eyes slowly blinked open, heavy and unfocused. She wasn't sure if it was because he had been asleep, or because he was still a little drunk.

A small, loving smile curled to her lips. “Thank you,” she murmured.

His brows furrowed lightly. Drowsily, he asked, “For what?”

“For coming to the celebration when you didn't want to. I know you don't like crowded places.”

Giving a low, lazy hum, Sasuke closed his eyes. He didn't think it was a big deal, much less anything she had to thank him for, but to her, it meant everything. He had never been the kind of man who went out of his way to do things he didn't want to in order to make someone he cared about happy, but the fact that he did for her—her heart felt too overwhelmed with love at the thought.

Unable to help herself, she reached out to touch his cheek, caressing her thumb along his jaw with all the affection in the world. Having never been this forward, it didn't surprise her when Sasuke flinched, eyes fluttering open once more.

“Sakura,” he whispered, when her fingers slipped into his hair, sifting through his locks tenderly. “What are you doing?”

His voice was a little hoarse, a little breathless, and she couldn't help but to sigh at this, pushing her forehead to his own and closing her eyes. After a moment, her hands fell to his chest. Her fingers curled around his shirt. Slowly, her eyes fluttered open, and she met his gaze, a soft, glowing smile pulling to her lips.

“I love you, Sasuke-kun,” she whispered, pressing a hand to his heart. “I really, really do.”

She felt his heartbeat quicken under her palm. His mouth parted, gaze flickering with something she couldn't discern, but had her stomach twisting up in knots all the same. Then his head leaned in, so achingly slowly, and she swore she lost her breath, fingers tightening anxiously in his shirt as her eyes languidly fell shut.

It felt like the world faded away when his lips finally brushed hers. It was long, sweet, the pressure of his mouth so light on hers, at first, as if hesitant; before ever so steadily growing in pressure when she started kissing him back, adding to his confidence. She nearly trembled when one of his hands moved to cup her cheek, overwhelmed with the flurry of their inexperienced passion.

She could hardly seem to calm the furious flips of her stomach when they pulled away, cheeks flushed and breaths slightly labored. She couldn't help but to smile as they stared at each other, eyes half-fluttered shut and tender with affection. Giddy, and feeling more at peace than she'd ever felt in her life, Sakura buried her face in his chest and held him close, exhaling a long breath. She couldn't help her smile from growing when Sasuke hesitantly wrapped an arm around her, as if unsure he was doing this right.

Sleep had never come so easily.

.

.

.

He wasn't there when she woke up. At first, Sakura didn't think much of it.

_He probably didn't want to wake me_ , she mused, mouth pulled in a sleepy smile as she stretched her limbs.

Last night had been everything she'd ever dreamed of, for as long as she could remember loving him. He had been so gentle. She wondered if Sasuke had been waiting long for a moment like this, and if he felt as blissfully good as she did about it. She couldn't remember ever feeling this happy.

Yawning widely, Sakura rubbed the drowsiness out of her eyes, and moved to push herself off the bed. Donning a thin, pale night robe, she slipped out of her room and went looking for Sasuke.

“Sasuke-kun?” she called, once she stepped into the kitchen and found it empty. “Sasuke-kun, are you home?”

Silence was her only response.

Shrugging, Sakura ran a hand through her mussed hair and let out another yawn, concluding that he must have gone training, then. It wasn't like him to leave her wondering of his whereabouts, but perhaps he had thought to be back before she would wake, she reasoned.

She threw a quick glance at the clock. 10:42. He was probably due back any moment now, with lunchtime fast approaching. Maybe she could surprise him with something he liked, she decided, smiling softly.

She'd barely taken three steps towards her refrigerator before someone knocked at her door.

“Come in!” she called, busying herself with her task. “Door's open!”

“Hey, Sakura-chan!” she heard Naruto call. “Where you at?”

“Kitchen!”

She heard the soft trot of his footsteps as he came to find her. She smiled wider.

“Making lunch?”

“Yeah,” she said, turning to look at him. She found herself surprised, however, to find that he was the only one there. She would have thought Sasuke to be with him.

The shock must have been obvious on her face, because Naruto asked, “What? What's wrong?”

“Is... Sasuke-kun not with you?”

Naruto's brows furrowed, a look of pure confusion crossing his features. “With me? Sakura-chan, didn't Sasuke tell you?”

Doubt growing uncomfortably in her belly, Sakura asked him, “Tell me what?”

He frowned. “He left on his journey again this morning.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like the chapter should imply, even now that they've shared their first kiss, the slow burn to ending up together hasn't ended. So no worries, the story isn't close to ending yet. After all, they haven't even gone on their travels yet ;)


	8. eight

She struggled to understand, in the days that followed, why he had left her this way. It hurt to think of the reasons why he might have. She didn't want to think about the possibility that she had been wrong about everything, that Sasuke didn't actually love her—or that he thought he might have, until their kiss. Didn't want to think about how he might have humored her, or might have felt he'd owed her as much for everything she'd done. As much as he could be cold, she refused to believe Sasuke could be this ignorant to the pain he would cause her.

She just wanted him back; to ask him why, to know if it was something she had done. To find out the truth. But Sakura didn't think he would be back until a while from now.

She hoped she was wrong—she didn't know if she could handle being alone with her thoughts for too long.

A week passed by, and then two. Sakura kept mostly to herself, busying herself with work to try and distract her mind. It wasn't terribly effective, but it was better than staying at home, alone and thick in the midst of silence, surrounded by everything that reminded her of Sasuke. Others grew concerned, but Sakura only forced a smile to her lips and politely reassured them she was fine, she was just missing Sasuke. A half truth—one that most seemed to believe and were contented with.

Naruto wasn't one of them.

“Sakura-chan?” he called one day, opening the door and stepping inside her home without knocking.

He could be intrusive, when he was concerned. Sakura sighed.

“In the living room,” she called softly, pushing away the scrolls from her coffee table. She wasn't going to get much reading done now that he was here.

He didn't say anything, for a moment, when he came to find her. Sakura looked at him expectantly.

“I know you haven't been working much,” he said, at last. “But you still look exhausted anyway, so... obviously, something's been bothering you.”

She made a noise, like a hum of agreement. There was no use trying to deny that she hadn't been herself.

“What happened with Sasuke?”

“Something. Or nothing. Who knows.”

“What does that mean?”

She sighed, and pretended to go back to her readings. “I don't know, Naruto. I guess that's what this whole thing is about, isn't it?”

Naruto frowned, crossing his arms. “What did the bastard do to you? You never get like this, Sakura-chan.”

Putting her scroll back down and moving to push herself off the couch, Sakura avoided looking at him as she said, “He left, Naruto. That's what.”

“That's never bothered you before,” he said, sounding slightly dubious.

Picking her misplaced garments off the floor, Sakura murmured, more to herself than to him, “It always does.”

She heard Naruto sigh. “Okay, but never like this.”

When she didn't answer, he pressed again, “What the hell happened between you two?”

“I don't know, Naruto.”

“That's crap, Sakura-chan, and you know it.”

An impatient sigh passed her lips. Sparing him an ill-tempered look, she moved to carry the clothes into her laundry room. She wasn't surprised when he followed.

“He can be a bastard, and you know that. He does and says things he doesn't mean sometimes, because he's stupid like that. Whatever Sasuke did, maybe—I don't know, maybe you're just reading too much into it. I'm sure he didn't mean to—”

“To leave me behind wondering if I've been imagining everything? Wondering if he's actually in love with me?” she cut in, her voice suddenly cracking.

Naruto's mouth parted. Sakura didn't know if he was surprised that she knew Sasuke was in love with her, or if he was surprised she even came to that conclusion at all. She felt her throat tighten, heart lurching with the sharp stab of disappointment.

“I don't know what happened with you two, Sakura-chan, and you don't seem to want to tell me either, but if there's one thing I know for sure no matter what went on—it's that Sasuke loves you. I don't even understand how you can possibly doubt that after everything that happened since the war.”

Sakura looked away, and replied nothing, wrapping an arm around herself. Naruto was quiet, for a moment, before he reached out and put his hands on her shoulders, squeezing encouragingly. She looked at him to find him smiling softly.

“Don't be too hard on him, Sakura-chan,” he said, finally. “I'm sure it's not what it looks like. Sasuke can be mean and stupid but—he's not cruel. And he loves you. He's been through a lot, so—I'm sure he's got his reasons, for whatever he did.”

She hoped he was right. Naruto had always understood Sasuke better than she could, better than anyone could, and if he was so sure that Sasuke loved her, that things couldn't possibly be as they seemed—then maybe she should be, too.

Maybe she was reading too much into his actions, and not enough into who Sasuke simply was. 

.

.

Sasuke came stumbling inside her room eight days later, at two twenty one in the morning.

A curse slipping from her mouth, Sakura had instantly reached for the kunai she kept hidden under her pillow as she hurriedly shuffled to her feet in battle stance. It didn't take long for her to realize who it was when he groaned and crashed into her desk, his voice shaking as he called her name.

“S-Sasuke-kun?” Eyes wide but still hazed with sleep, Sakura dropped her weapon and hurried to his side, her medic instincts surging at the sight of his panting, sweat-slicked form groaning loudly on her floor, features contorting in agony as he clutched at the shoulder of his prosthetic arm. Heart pounding furiously, she ripped the sleeve of his shirt and quickly examined the arm with small palpating touches, looking up at him worriedly once she found it completely unresponsive. “Sasuke-kun, what happened? What happened to your arm?”

“I don't know,” he rasped, knocking his head back against the desk, shaking desperately. “It was working fine a few days ago, but then—”

She felt his body tense some more, saw his eyes snapping shut as he gave a sharp shout, swearing desperately. His good hand snatched out to grab at her shirt, yanking her against him as he buried his face in her neck, trembling and panting furiously.

The intimacy of the position wasn't lost on her, but Sakura wouldn't dwell on that just now.

“Come on, we need to get you to the hospital,” she whispered to him, slipping an arm firmly around his waist to urge him up. Sasuke wouldn't budge, though, hand only clutching her shirt tighter as he gasped hoarse, pained sounds against her neck. It took her lifting him up the ground and holding him against her for Sasuke to finally pull himself away from her, nodding messily.

As she wrapped his good arm around her shoulders, Sasuke groaned, eyes shut tight, “Sakura, what—what's happening to me?”

Grip tightening, Sakura started them towards their path out of her home, glancing at him sadly as she said, “I'm not sure, but I think your body is rejecting the prosthetic.”

.

.

The pain was too much for him: Sasuke unexpectedly lost consciousness right as they stepped past the hospital's main entrance doors, surprising Sakura so much that she'd nearly failed to catch him. The nurses didn't waste a moment to run their way, one of them equipped with a gurney. Sakura sent one to fetch Tsunade for an emergency consult, and a possible emergency surgery.

It wasn't long after her mentor had arrived before Sakura found out she had been right. Sasuke's body was rejecting the arm, even after all these months.

The damage to the tissue was judged to be so severe and irreparable that they deemed the removal of his arm had to be done immediately. 

_(“It's probably been happening for a while,” Tsunade had said to her. “With transplant rejections that happen over a period of time like this, the signs are never truly discernible. It's likely Sasuke didn't notice there was anything wrong at all, until his arm started losing it's functions.”)_

Three hours later, Sasuke was a one-armed man, once again.

Brushing her thumb to the back of his single hand, Sakura sighed. She wondered how Sasuke would react, when he would find that he had lost his arm again. Although she was sure it couldn't be as bad as the first time, it had been months since he'd gotten the prosthetic—since he'd gotten used to having two arms again. To being more useful, more apt—to being less limited in what he could do.

But now...

“You were right, weren't you?”

Nearly jumping out of her skin, Sakura quickly drew back her hand and turned to look at him, eyes wide. He wasn't supposed to be up for another couple hours.

Mismatched gaze clouded and unfocused (no doubt from the still-lasting effects of the anesthesia), Sasuke slowly blinked at her, his stare never wavering. He knew the answer already, he had to with his evidently missing prosthetic, but despite this, he wanted to hear it from her anyway.

Swallowing, Sakura murmured, “Yes.”

He looked at her, for a long, long moment, before shifting his gaze to the window. He didn't say anything after that.

“Do you—How are you feeling, Sasuke-kun? Does it still hurt?”

He sighed. “I don't feel like talking.”

“O-Okay.” Biting her lip, Sakura looked down at her lap, fiddling with her fingers. “I'm, um. I'll leave you alone, then.”

When she stood up to leave, however, his hand quickly shot up to grasp her wrist. Stunned, she couldn't help but to stare at him.

Slowly, Sasuke turned his head to look at her again; Sakura almost held her breath at the subtle vulnerability she found in his expression.

“I didn't mean for you to go,” he said, voice quiet.

_Stay. Please._

Breathless, Sakura moved to take her seat again. “Okay.”

.

.

The hospital wanted to keep him for observation, for a few days; the damage, they found, had not been exclusively reserved to the prosthetic, but to the remnants of his arm, too. The stub of it, especially, had taken substantial nerve damage.

Sasuke had surprisingly taken the news quite well. But, she supposed, he had always been fairly experienced in masking his emotions when he truly wanted to, so maybe he wasn't as unaffected as he'd seemed.

“They're still not sure what happened,” Sakura said, looking over his chart carefully. “Tsunade-shishou said it probably had something to do with the cells and your chakra. At first, with the help of the immunosuppressants, your body had accepted the compatibility of the arm, but when we took you off them, we suspect it might have shifted that compatibility and caused your body to begin attacking the arm.”

Meeting his gaze again, she put his chart away, folding her hands in her lap. “With acute rejection of a transplant, the process of damaging tissues happens pretty slowly, and it's usually painless, with hardly any clear sign of degeneration before—well, before it's too late, I guess.” She paused, here. Eyes softening, she said sympathetically, “You couldn't have known, Sasuke-kun.”

“So it wasn't my fault.”

She gave him a smile. “No, it wasn't. And the good news is, the damage the rest of your arm sustained can be pretty easily healed. You'll have to receive periodical healing sessions for the next few months, but when those are all done, your arm should feel as good and as functional as it ever did.”

“Just as good as before I lost the arm in the first place?”

“Um... Well, Sasuke-kun, I don't think you can ever expect it to—”

A small, barely perceptible smile twitched at his mouth, eyes filled with a light mirth, and Sakura quieted instantly, feeling her own eyes crinkle.

“Very funny,” she said, sticking her tongue out at him.

The subtle smile hadn't yet to fade, even as he broke their gaze. “Hn.”

The moment was shattered, however, when Naruto came barging into the room, grinning as he yelled, “Bastard! What's this I hear about you ending in the hospital right when you get back from your traveling! What kind of trouble did you... _Oh_.”

Making a noise of exasperation, Sakura ran a hand over her face. _Leave it to Naruto to be so indiscreet,_ she thought, shaking her head. She should have probably told him when she had called earlier that this was a fairly delicate matter.

“I see your tact hasn't changed,” Sasuke commented dryly.

Sakura looked up just in time to notice Naruto's indignant expression before she lightly smacked Sasuke. “Cut him some slack, Sasuke-kun,” she admonished, frowning. “He didn't know.”

“What she said,” Naruto said, crossing his arms. “I mean I know we always bait each other on, but that would have been pretty fucked up on my part, bastard. And you know I'm not _that_ low.”

“Maybe not that low, but you are that stupid,” Sasuke muttered, rolling his eyes.

Incredulous, Sakura gave him a look— one that Sasuke purposely avoided.

“You know what—I'm going to ignore that remark and pretend it never left your mouth,” Naruto said, taking the chair in the corner to drag it closer to the hospital bed. “You're just bitter you lost your arm, so you're taking it all out on _me_ because you can't take it out on Sakura-chan.”

Sitting back in her chair, Sakura stared at them both with wide, disapproving eyes, before she stood up and turned, starting towards the door. This caught both of their attentions.

“Hey—Sakura-chan, where are you going?”

“I'm leaving,” she said, pausing at the door to look at them, unimpressed. Her hand propped on her hip. “I'm not dealing with this. It is a mystery to me, and everyone else, how I can ever deal with you two and your stupid alpha complexes.”

As she headed out, Naruto called in haste, “Wait! Sakura-chan, wait, don't go! We'll behave, I promise! Come on, you don't have to leave!”

The last thing she heard was Sasuke scoffing, “Tch. Nice job, knucklehead.”

She couldn't help the tiny, amused smile that slipped to her lips. 


	9. nine

Naruto was gone by the time she came back nearly two hours later, a brown paper bag in hand. By the hard, pensive look on his face, and the straight line of his mouth, Sakura could only guess that their bickering had gone too far.

“You should both start acting like adults, by now,” she said, sitting by his bed with a sigh. “I was hoping you two could have it all sorted out by the time I came back, so we could have a nice lunch together.” Languidly, she started unpacking their food and setting it on the desk, as she went on, “I even went out of my way to get Naruto's favorite ramen at Ichiraku's, instead of picking the one from the restaurant I got the tempura and okaka onigri from.”

“We didn't fight after you left,” Sasuke replied quietly. He still wasn't looking at her.

Sakura frowned. “Really? But you seem so—”

Her words were cut short, however, as Sasuke abruptly asked, “Why do you love me?”

She froze, and stared at him for a long, painfully silent moment. She hadn't expected Sasuke would ever ask her something like this.

Teeth chewing on the inside of her cheek, she lowered her gaze and whispered, “I don't think it works like that, Sasuke-kun. I just do.”

When she looked at him again, he couldn't seem to do the same.

“You shouldn't,” he muttered, brows furrowing deeply.

It didn't take a genius to understand the look he wore.

“Naruto told you,” she said, her tone certain. “About what happened the last time you left.”

Sasuke said nothing, only swallowed, gaze still fixed on the wall to his left.

“I shouldn't have left you like that. It wasn't right,” he finally murmured, clenching his fist. “I'm—” His lips tightened. He stayed silent. After a short pause, he exhaled a soft breath and turned to look at her, mismatched eyes suddenly so weary. “I'm sorry.”

Her throat grew tight. Heart clenched almost painfully, Sakura reached out and tentatively put her hand on his.

“It's okay,” she said, her voice soft. Gentle. “I didn't—for a while, I didn't understand. I _was_ really hurt, Sasuke-kun, I'm not going to lie about that but—” She bit her lip, and gave a small, watery smile. “It took a while to understand it, but I know now: You weren't ready. And you _still_ aren't ready.”

He was quiet, for a moment. Then, he murmured, “It still doesn't excuse what I did.”

“No,” she said, squeezing his hand lightly, “but at least I get it. At least I know now that it wasn't because you didn't care.”

Silence fell between them, and neither of them spoke for a long, long while, eyes drawn to their touching hands. It was only when he brushed his thumb faintly along her palm that their gazes finally met again.

“I never expected you to wait for me,” he said, lowly. “You deserve more than what I can give you.”

Carefully, giving him ample time to resist, Sakura moved to properly take his hand, interlocking their fingers. “But I want _you_ ,” she murmured softly.

He glanced down at their intertwined hands for a moment, before meeting her eyes once more, gaze full of tender affection. Her heart fluttered warmly. She couldn't help but to smile.

He responded with nothing but a light squeeze of his hand.

.

.

.

It was three days before he was finally discharged from the hospital. Sakura, having spent most of the past two days working, didn't come to know of this before she came home late one night and found Sasuke sitting in her living room, reading an old book. She nearly tripped on her own feet at the sight of him.

“Sasuke-kun? Uh—Hey. How long have you been here?”

She hadn't stepped inside her apartment in nearly thirty three hours, and hoped he hadn't been waiting for her return since yesterday.

“Late afternoon,” he answered simply, putting down the book down on the mahogany coffee table. “But I've been discharged since this morning.”

She watched as he moved to stand, and slowly made his way towards her, lone hand shoved in his pocket.

“Tsunade told me you were working, and your shift would end at two.”

She blushed, and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “It was supposed to. But when one of the experienced medics called in, it was extended until nine. Around eight thirty, an ANBU squad arrived in pretty bad shape. I had to perform emergency surgery on two of them.”

He nodded, and looked at her for a moment. “You must be tired.”

She smiled, just a little. “Yeah. Exhausted, actually.”

As if on cue, her mouth stretched with a wide yawn, and she blinked sleepily. Her heart quickened when she saw Sasuke's lips twitching at this.

“You should get some rest, then,” he said.

Sakura nodded, feeling her cheeks warm. She made to make her way to her bedroom, but found herself held in place when Sasuke's hand closed quickly around her wrist. She jumped a little, head jerking in his direction.

“Sasuke-kun?”

The look on his face was strange. She didn't think she'd ever seen it on him before. Almost like he was... troubled.

She swallowed anxiously. “...Sasuke-kun?”

Sasuke's lips parted. Frowning, he finally released his grip on her and reached out to finger a few locks of her hair, sending her stiffening.

“You have blood on your hair.”

Her brows shot up, jaw slackening. “Do I?”

Glancing down, Sakura moved to feel at her own hair for a moment, before finally catching sight of the light crimson streaks. She blushed. “Oh. I guess I was too busy to notice.”

He was silent, frown still present on his lips. She wondered if the presence of blood on her perturbed him, even when it wasn't her own. Her heart pounded harder.

“I guess,” she started, a little breathless, “I should probably wash that out.”

Sasuke nodded, his rough fingers falling from her hair at last. “There's take-out in the fridge, if you're hungry. The owner from Ishikawa said it was your favorite.”

Her mouth ran dry. “But... you don't even like it there.”

Sasuke shrugged, turned to head towards the living room once more, and said, “You do.”

She lifted a hand to her chest, eyes softening. With a smile, she finally made her way to the bathroom for a quick shower.

.

.

He was already in bed by the time she'd finished and stepped into her room, skin still flushed and hair still damp as she wore nothing but a short towel. Instantly, her hands went to grip at the hem, breath hitching as he shifted to look at her. She didn't miss the way he froze, eyes widening just so. Her throat grew tight.

“I—I'm sorry,” she all but blurted, nearly cursing herself for the slight stutter of her words. Her cheeks felt feverish with embarrassment. “I, um—I didn't think you'd be in here.”

He didn't say anything. Instead, his eyes shifted from her face to trail along the length of her throat, grazing lightly over her covered breasts with a subtle heat, before they pulled along the slender curve of her waist and her long, long legs. Sakura couldn't help the noise that fell from her lips, teeth biting the inside of her cheek nervously as his gaze quickly shot up again, wide and just slightly agitated.

He turned his head away, and cleared his throat, lone hand clenching at his shirt. She swore she could see the faintest hint of a blush, but it was hard to tell from where she stood.

“It's my fault. I should have given you a heads up.”

“That's—no, no. Don't be ridiculous. I mean—it's fine, right? It's not like I'm naked or anything.”

As the last words left her mouth, Sakura tensed, cringing lightly. Clutching the material tighter to her body, she mumbled uneasily, “I... probably could have gone with something better.”

“Probably,” Sasuke agreed, a light awkwardness to his tone.

There was a short silence. Sakura shifted restlessly on her feet, waiting for the odd tension to pass. When it didn't, however, she swallowed, ran a hand through her wet hair, and timidly went towards the drawers by her wardrobe. “Right, well—I'm just going to get some night clothes and change in the bathroom.”

She gathered her things with shaking hands, all too aware of the way his watchful gaze settled on her once more, observing her quietly. She gripped her towel tightly, almost too tightly when she turned again, and started towards the hallway, before Sasuke's voice fell softly in the empty room.

“Are you scared I'll look?”

_Yes_ , her heart sighed. _Because you want to, and I want you to, and we both know that very well—but you're not ready for anything like this, won't be ready for a while._

Sakura swallowed, and ducked her head. “Of course not,” she lied. “I just...”

The words escaped her, and she trailed out. Biting her lip, she turned and met his gaze, one small hand rubbing at her arm to soothe her nerves. “Okay.”

Dutifully, Sasuke pushed himself on his side, presenting his back to her view. Sakura let out a shaky breath, trembling fingers slowly pulling at the hem until the cloth slipped from her body and fell to the ground with a soft thud, green eyes forever fixed on his broad, tense shoulders. His fist was clenching the sheets, she noticed then.

Cheeks flushing furiously, she reached for her night clothes and dressed as fast and as quietly as she could, before rounding the bed and slipping between the sheets, her back facing him.

Listening to the soft cadence of his breath, she couldn't help but to think of the last time they were in bed like this; warm and pleasantly tipsy, half-shuttered eyes locked tenderly as they whispered conversation.

_(her hand on his cheek. in his hair. on his heart. foreheads pressed together as she whispered of a love that she only knew to grow with time. the kiss.)_

The careful brush of knuckles against her back nearly sent her jolting.

“...Sasuke-kun?”

He was quiet, for a moment, as he repeated the gesture again, lingering a little longer. Something about it made her brows furrow lightly, but she couldn't quite pinpoint why.

That is, until he murmured, “I'm leaving again.”

Her throat grew tight. Sakura curled into herself a little, fingers clenching at her pillow. “When?”

“Tomorrow.”

She turned to face him, then, eyes wide. “So soon? But Sasuke-kun you—you just lost your arm again. Can't you wait a while? You know, until you get used to it, and then you can leave again and—”

“Sakura,” he interrupted softly, gaze unbearably gentle. Ashamed, almost. “This isn't my first time traveling with only one arm.”

“But if you just stay a bit more, then you'll be more prepared. And—you just got back not too long ago, I just—” She grew quiet, and tucked a hand to her chest, heart suddenly heavy. Looking up at him, she whispered so weakly, “Can't you stay?”

Silence met her words. Sasuke's gaze remained steady, contrite. Mind unchanged.

He was still leaving.

Shaking her head, Sakura swallowed and went to turn and leave her back to him, feeling the sting of tears, until Sasuke's hand snatched at her arm, halting her movements.

“Come with me.”

She swore she stopped breathing. “W-What?”

Kind, mismatched eyes met her own. His hand moved to cup her cheek, just as sweetly as he had done all those weeks ago. His gaze softened with something so lovely.

“Come with me,” he whispered again.

Sakura's heart had never pounded so hard before. She was left speechless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so the travels begin!


	10. ten

She'd never really left the village before, save for missions—and it wasn't like those allowed her much place to admire the world around her, either. Always traveling fast, keeping to dirt roads and forest paths; and when they rested, the camp sites were set up during the night, somewhere far into the thickness of the trees or the shelter of a cave. There was never much left to appreciate.

It was only when they passed through the villages that she found such an opportunity; staring in awe at the change of structure of the buildings, decorations and cultures varying in intensities (sometimes more reserved, sometimes vastly more flamboyant than in Konoha), the smell and aesthetic of foods inspiring her taste of adventure. Sometimes she would find herself having to hold back from jumping onto rooftops, too taken by the urge to know what exactly surrounded these villages she knew next to nothing about.

She'd been so fascinated by the things she had gotten the chance to see—the damp rocky vastness of Iwa, the brilliance of the stars and never-ending sand dunes in Suna, the sky-high industrial buildings of Ame that never seemed to rust despite the continuous downpour of the clouds—but despite it all, in the end, the marveling sights had been such a small fraction of the world out there.

But this would all change, after today. In a few minutes, she'd be stepping over the borders of her village at Sasuke's side, ready to face whatever wonders had slipped from her grasps before.

There was something at the thought that made her stomach knot so tightly. Could she really leave for so long?

She looked up from the gate-worn cobblestones, tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, and stared thoughtfully at the road ahead, before she turned to gaze towards Konoha's scarcely crowded street, swallowing. Her fingers played with the strap of her bag.

“You don't have to.”

Sakura's eyes shifted on him, and she blinked, mouth parting lightly. He was watching her; carefully, diligently—no doubt trying to read into her hesitance.

Making sure she wasn't just doing this because he wanted her to.

“If you're not sure about this, I don't want you to feel like you have to come with me.” There was a glint of something in his gaze, like a flash of well-hidden discouragement, but Sakura wasn't sure if she'd merely imagined it. When he slipped his hand into his pocket and swallowed, though, she knew she hadn't. “It's an offer, Sakura—nothing more. You don't have to come just for my sake.”

Slowly, her eyes softened. She smiled, small and sweet, but entirely genuine. Sasuke could be so kind, at times; strangely selfish and selfless all at once.

“Of course I want to, Sasuke-kun. Right now, there's nothing that I want more than that.”

There was something that changed in the way he held himself, then, a lightness to his features that sent her heart careening faster.

“No goodbyes?”

She shook her head and smiled wider, hands clasping in her lap. “They're probably all sleeping right now,” she said, turning to face Konoha's streets, just barely starting to wake. She would miss this place.

Sakura could hardly help herself from blushing when Sasuke stepped beside her, shoulder brushing hers lightly. With the kindest smile, she looked at him and murmured, “And besides—they'll understand.”

His lips lifted, in the slightest mirror of her own smile. The sight had her heart stumbling.

“Hn. Ready?”

Readjusting the pack over her shoulders, she beamed at him and said, “Readier than I'll ever be.”

His eyes softened, lips tugging higher. Tenderly, he lifted his hand and pressed two fingers to her forehead—a gesture that still sent her heart racing even now. There was such fondness in the act, such underlying feelings of deep care and gentility... such _history_ —one that Sasuke would perhaps someday soon feel ready to unveil.

Cheeks warm and belly flopping, Sakura watched as Sasuke started down the road in wide, long strides, feet quickly scurrying to fall into steps beside him. Reaching out for the long sleeve of his missing arm with one of her hands, she held on lightly, a small smile to her lips.

She could only smile wider when he spared her a quiet, almost-shy glance, and simply let her.

.

.

.

She noticed it all too-effortlessly—the change in him.

It had only been five hours since they had left Konoha, but already, there was a peace to Sasuke, a calmness to him that she didn't think she'd ever seen before in him through all the years they'd known each other. He had always been such a tense man; obtuse, and full of repressed passion, held in place by the thick chains of darkness of his past... until the war ended. But even then, in his time back in the village, Sakura could see there was always this rigidity about him, this stiffness to his posture that told her that he wasn't quite done healing yet. He hadn't yet forgiven Konoha.

But on these roads, as she walked by his side, there was none of that. Freed from the walls of the village that had drenched his family name in the crimson red of blood, Sasuke carried himself with a graceful sort of ease that sold transparency on the lightness of his heart.

This was where Sasuke felt he was meant to be, she realized. This was where he felt he had purpose.

This was where he found _recovery._

Perhaps this should have scared her. If these roads were where Sasuke truly felt at peace, more comfortable than he ever could be in Konoha—he could end up never coming back. Never settling in the village he was born in, in the village she could never part from.

He could end up never coming _home_.

_(a hopeless wanderer at heart; always searching for answers, always somehow held up by the sorrow of his past.)_

But Sakura wasn't worried at all; because people's needs would always change, and Sasuke, she knew with an unwavering certainty of her heart, would not always need this as he did now. He would someday find what he was so desperately looking for, she was sure. And when that day would come, when he would finally feel he'd repented for all of his sins—he would carry that peace he felt now everywhere he went.

He would finally be free, in the way he truly wanted to be.

_(free of himself, free of his sins; free to love and live as openly as he'd been so desperately craving to, since the war ended.)_

“Looks like it's going to rain.”

Blinking, Sakura paused in her steps and looked up to the sky, humming a soft sound of agreement as she noted the thick, darkened clouds, heavy with the promise of a storm.

“Doesn't look like it's going to be pretty, either,” she murmured, shifting her gaze to him. His eyes were still drawn above, lips pulled into a frown. She couldn't help but to smile at this.

“What a start,” she said. “Maybe I shouldn't have come with you after all—it could be a bad omen.”

Sasuke looked at her then, his frown deepening, before rolling his eyes and allowing his lips to tug into a faint smile when she giggled at him, her own smile light and teasing.

“Come on, we better find shelter,” he said. He reached for her wrist, locking his long fingers around it in a firm hold, and tugged lightly. “I know a place not too far from here.”

She let him lead her off the path, and through the thickness of the trees, far into the wildness until the path disappeared from her sights and she couldn't see the sky anymore. Sakura grew almost anxious, uneasiness twisting in her gut, but couldn't help but to feel assured as Sasuke confidently guided them both, strides easy and sure, reminding her all too clearly of exactly how long Sasuke had been on his journey. He knew where he was going.

Soon enough, they arrived in a more secluded area of the forest, where the trees were larger but fewer, and the land was more rounded, forming soft hills and sharp, ragged slopes. She could hear the sound of running water in distance, and could only guess there was a river somewhere not too far.

“This place is beautiful,” she said, when they finally came to a stop and Sasuke's hand fell away. “How did you stumble upon this?”

“I don't like to stick to tracks. Too many people who want to cause trouble, and there isn't much to see,” he said. “For the most part, I try to follow the rivers.”

“Don't you ever get lost?”

“Sometimes.” He shrugged. “But finding paths is not as complicated as you might think. A lot of people live around these woods.”

That surprised her. Living alone outside of any community wasn't unheard of, but it was certainly uncommon, especially so far off from the protection of large villages like the Hidden Leaf. It was dangerous, especially with the missing-nin constantly roaming about these forests.

“You're worried,” Sasuke stated. The look in his eyes was curious.

She almost blushed. “I just—I can't stop thinking about how unfair it is, for those families who live here and don't have anyone who can protect them. It's sad to think about what might have happened to them. Especially during the war, you know? I heard rogue ninjas were everywhere after the Kages left to fight Madara in war. There wasn't anyone to stop them.”

He watched her quietly, for a moment, gaze so unbearably fond. While there was once a time she had wondered to herself if he found her knack of overbearing empathy troublesome and stupid, she knew that these days it was something Sasuke truly admired in her.

Wetness splashed against her cheek, and she jumped a little, head tipping reflexively in the direction it came from. She felt a few more drops splatter on her clothes, heard the faint tapping of rain on leaves, before Sasuke took hold of her wrist once more, urging her to move.

“It's starting—let's get inside the cave before we get soaked.”

Sakura merely nodded, and allowed him to guide her to their refuge.

.

.

“It's really not letting up, is it?”

It had been three hours since they had taken shelter to the cave, but the rainstorm still had yet to ease in strength, cascading in sheets against the entrance. She and Sasuke had been forced to move further away when the water had started pooling around their feet.

If they had built a fire, it would have been useless by now.

“Probably won't for a while,” he said, never looking away from the heavy downpour. His brows were furrowed. “We should get some rest while we wait.”

“Shouldn't we take shifts?” Sakura asked, tucking her knees to her chest. She felt a little chilly.

His gaze shifted on her, then. “We don't have a fire—there's nothing to draw people to us, unless they want to hide out in here. And if they do, we'll hear them coming.”

He was right. The ground was hard enough for any trained ninja to hear any tap of footsteps coming their way, and with the rubble of rock slabs spread out at the entrance, it was unlikely they wouldn't be alerted of someone's presence.

Still, Sakura mulled her lips, rubbing her hands to warm her freezing fingers, before tucking them between her knees. “It would have been nice to have gotten the time to build a fire, though.”

She looked up at Sasuke again, finding him watching her quietly, carefully.

“Are you cold?” he finally asked, brows furrowed.

Swallowing, she wrapped her arms around her legs and countered softly, “Aren't you?”

“No.” He paused, eyes flickering to her bared arms and mostly bared legs, before he said, “But I'm also better dressed for this weather than you are.”

She blushed, if only meekly. “I'm fine, Sasuke-kun. It's nothing I can't handle. I'll be all right.”

His brows pinched together once more, lips mulling. Sakura couldn't help but to look away, tucking her chin to her knees. It was then that she heard him sigh, clothes rustling briefly before he said, “Come here.”

She looked up quickly, meeting the sight of Sasuke holding his cloak open, and flushed even darker, lips parting open to gape. “I'm fine, really—”

“Sakura. Get over here.”

Mouth snapping back shut, Sakura gave a meek nod and shyly made her way to his side, heart pounding deafeningly against her ears as he wrapped part of his cloak around her. It pounded even harder when he carefully slipped his arm around her waist, drawing her close to offer her his own warmth.

“Better?”

Cheeks burning hotly and face pressed against his shoulder, she clung to the material of his cloak. Holding it closer to her, she said, voice shaking lightly, “I—Y-Yes. Um... thank you, Sasuke-kun.”

“Hn.” His arm fell away from her waist, no doubt to help him balance himself now that she was leaning onto him. It didn't make her heart beat any less fast. “Get some rest, Sakura. I'll wake you when it's time to go.”

“Aren't you going to sleep, too?”

“In a little while. I'm staying up for a bit longer.”

She tilted her chin up to look at him, green eyes meeting the all-too-distant look on his face. The one he always wore when he was caught up in his past—when he was thinking about his brother.

Her throat grew tight. “Did he...” She paused, clutched his cloak tighter and looked down for a moment, words caught up in her tongue. Sasuke seldom ever brought up Itachi, and she didn't want to overstep. “Did Itachi like the rain?”

He stiffened against her, if only just slightly. Sakura swallowed again, looking down and away from him. She never wanted to push him, especially about these things.

A long silence settled, before he finally said, voice so very quiet, “No... not my brother.” He let out a breath, then, slow and soft. “But... my mother did.”

Gently, Sakura pressed her cheek to his shoulder, and asked, “...Will you tell me about them one day, Sasuke-kun? About your family? You've never told me what they were like.”

“Someday,” he hummed. He let out a sigh again, one that suddenly made him sound so tired. “But not today.”

Sakura smiled. “Okay.” Burying her face in his shoulder, she closed her eyes and whispered, “Goodnight, Sasuke-kun.”

“It's not night yet,” he said, the smile evident in his voice.

“I know, but when it will be, I'll be asleep, so I'm telling you now.”

He huffed a breath, then, one that sounded so painfully close to a laugh.

“Good night, Sakura.”


	11. eleven

There was a different kind of intimacy to traveling with him like this; a strange sort of closeness they had never had before, even in the privacy of her home in Konoha. Her bond with Sasuke felt tighter now, curiously relieved of all its tentative fragility—replaced instead with a gentle sort of ease and familiarity, a depth in their connection that oftentimes left her feeling breathless.

Sakura believed it was because Sasuke felt more accepting of what they were as they traveled these roads. Moving at his own pace, taken by this sense of freedom—maybe it made him feel comfortable enough to quell the impulses of his heart: reaching out to skim his fingers over her skin in the barest, gentlest caress; sometimes to brush something away, but sometimes for no reason at all other than his own desire to.

_(or maybe he was more ready than he thought he was.)_

He'd woken her, sometimes, with his impulsive affections: smoothing his rough fingers so softly through her hair, brushing pink locks from her face; stroking her cheeks with the pad of his thumb, or tucking the thin blanket back to her chin. She had never dared to open her eyes, too afraid it would send him running back.

It surprised her, the way he so easily reached to touch her these days. When she'd learned that Sasuke simply wasn't ready, that she'd been moving too fast for him—she'd always thought that it would take a while, before he would make such gestures. Instead, he only seemed all too eager to show his affections, at times.

She wondered if perhaps it was simply because her presence on these travels made him so covertly content.

“It's so peaceful here,” she murmured, cradling her teacup carefully in her hands. It was the third week since their travels began, and they hadn't yet moved too far off from the Hidden Leaf, having just left two days ago the ruins of what had previously been the Tanzaku Quarters—and still, Sakura couldn't believe how much the Land of Fire had had to offer them. “I never knew we had views like these in our country. I always thought it was nothing but forests, and then—and then I see fields like these and it's just... it's stunning.” She paused, pushed the cup to her lips, and smiled. “I've never been anywhere so quiet.”

Shoulder brushing her own, Sasuke moved to drink his own tea. “You should see this place after the raining season,” he said.

She looked at him curiously, and tilted her head. “What happens after the raining season?”

“It's when the fireflies come here.”

Her mouth parted, eyes shifting back to the endless moonlit field. She thought about what it would look like, with hundreds of fireflies rising from the grass, dancing and waltzing to the song of the crickets. Glowing a warm, soft yellow, illuminating their surroundings just as peacefully and softly as the moon and stars. It would be a sight to behold.

Gaze dropping wistfully to her steaming teacup, Sakura tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and murmured, “That must be so pretty.”

She felt him shift, saw his head turn from the corner of her eye, but when he didn't say anything and simply stared, she couldn't help but to fidget, a lump forming anxiously in her throat. When she lifted her head to look at him, she felt her jaw slacken at the soft look he wore.

“Raining season isn't until a few months from now,” he said. “We can come back after it's done.”

“Really? You... wouldn't mind?”

“If I did, I wouldn't have mentioned it.”

She blushed, and gave him a timid smile. “Thank you, Sasuke-kun.”

Eyes soft and lips just barely tugging at a corner, Sasuke nodded, turning his attention back to the scenery in front of them. Sakura did the same, but couldn't help herself from glancing at him every so often, her heart so full and warm from his kindness. She wondered if Sasuke knew how much she relished in every little selfless act that he did, or if he simply brushed away their importance, demeaning the goodness of his heart. Sasuke could be so hard on himself sometimes.

Putting her cup to her side, Sakura tucked her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, smiling up at the sky. As she listened to the soft sound of crickets chirping, and the rare hoot of an owl somewhere far away, she hummed and said, “You know, my dad really loves fireflies. And, well, these kinds of views, really. He would have loved this place.”

“...What are they like? Your parents... I don't think you've ever talked about them.”

Her brows raised, and her mouth parted, surprised. She never expected Sasuke would ever be interested in hearing about her family, or anyone else's that was still alive—she always assumed hearing about them would make him ache for something he could have had, for a happiness and wholeness he could have felt, if his family hadn't been violently torn from him so long ago.

Blushing lightly, she pushed her chin to her knees and said, “My dad... cracks the lamest jokes all the time, and enjoys making puns more than anyone I've ever met. He's such a goofball, and he's always smiling, trying to make everyone around him feel good—a little like Naruto, in that way. He's just—he's so good. And so loving. He loves my mom so much. He's got such a big heart and—well, I guess that's where I got mine, too.

“And my mom... she's nearly the complete opposite of him, it's kind of hilarious sometimes. She's very serious, very authoritative, and so tremendously stubborn. She hates my dad's jokes, says he always takes things too lightly, and it never takes long before she breaches her limit and gets so annoyed she bickers with him over every little thing. But underneath all that, I know she loves him a lot. She's very kind, when you look beneath her thick skin. She nags me a lot, but I know she means well—she just wants me to be healthy, and happy.”

She was hesitant, when she turned to look at him, as if unsure what to expect from him, but couldn't help her heart from pounding so hard at the look of peculiar gentleness she found. Cheeks burning hotter, she gave a shy smile and said, eyes crinkling softly, “You know, you should meet them, someday. I think you'd really like them.”

The warmth in his gaze faded, and Sasuke looked away, lips pulled into a light frown. “I shouldn't. After what I did to you... They probably wouldn't like me.”

“Maybe not at first...” she admitted. She put a hand on his shoulder, and squeezed gently. “But once they get to know you, I know they'll love you. Naruto, Kakashi and I did, didn't we?”

He swallowed, keeping his gaze to the ground, and said nothing. Gaze saddening, Sakura took her hand away and ceded to his silence, turning her attention back to the silver-glowing field. There would be time to ask again, when Sasuke felt more at ease with the mistakes of his past.

For a long while, it was quiet.

“Do you miss them?” he asked, then.

His gaze was drawn to the sky, as she looked at him. Her eyes softened. “Yes,” she said, so very simply, because she did. She always missed her parents, when she was away from home for longer than two weeks.

There was something that changed in the depths of his gaze, flashes of guilt and doubt. That made her smile.

Nudging his side lightly, Sakura gently fitted her hand over his own, gave him a warm smile, and said, “I miss them, Sasuke-kun, but I don't regret coming with you. I'm happy that I did.”

His eyes softened, and he looked at her for one long moment, before shifting back to the scene in front of them, features at peace. For what seemed like forever, they sat there, hands touching as they observed the world around them.

Then, she heard him say, “I miss mine, too.”

Heart clenching, Sakura slipped her fingers between the spaces of his own and squeezed tightly, free hand curling in the dewy blades of grass. She meant to pull away, to give him space—but found her breath hitching as his own fingers curled around hers, keeping them there.

.

.

.

They moved along more quickly, in the weeks that followed. In the time it had taken them to get to the ruins of the Tanzaku Quarters, they had traveled twice the distance and had long crossed the borders of the Land of Rivers. Now only three days from the next village in their path—Tanigakure, if Sakura could recall correctly—they had chosen to make camp in a clearing by a river.

By the mild burn marks on the trees behind them, trunks marred with blade scars and missing bark, and the way Sasuke so easily moved around the area, it was clear this wasn't his first time staying here.

“I can't wait to get to Tanigakure,” Sakura said, when she finally finished setting up their tent. Running a hand through her hair, she grimaced. “I could really use a good shower.”

“You don't need to wait for Tanigakure for that,” Sasuke said, never looking up from his work. “There's a waterfall two miles out west from here. You can clean up there today, if you want.”

Blinking quickly, Sakura perked up. “Is there really?” she asked, voice hopeful and lips split into a grin. “Because that would honestly be the best thing right now, Sasuke-kun, I can't even begin to tell you.”

Huffing an amused breath, he looked up at her from his task and said, gaze light, “I'll take you there when I'm done setting up the fire, then.”

Excitement bubbled up in her stomach, and she grinned. “I'll go get my stuff!”

She set out towards their traveling bags splayed a few feet behind the tent, and knelt down, reaching for hers. Rummaging through the pack, Sakura fetched out her towel, the cheap lemon-scented shampoo and soap they'd bought in the village they passed through the week before, gathering them all in one arm, before slinging their sack of dirty clothes over her other shoulder, determined to give them a much needed wash.

When she turned to make her way to Sasuke again, however, a cry boomed across the clearing, startling her.

“ _Sasuke-niisan!_ ”

Eyes wide and mouth parted, she watched as a child of no more than nine or ten emerged from the trees with a swinging basket in hand and ran straight for Sasuke, the grin on his mouth uncontrollable. He was a civilian, from the looks of it, but Sakura was more stunned from the use of a honorific that denoted such incredible familiarity between the two that the child felt it proper to call him _brother_.

But as the young boy threw his tiny arms around Sasuke's middle in a tight hug, her shock only found itself growing when the latter, even when seemingly tense and sporting a look of slight discomfort, did not push him away. Although Sasuke was not cruel, Sakura knew that with such a private persona, he wasn't past evading such gestures with children if they were not welcome.

“Noburu,” Sasuke spoke, pulling the boy away to look at him, “what are you doing out here?”

The child, Noboru as Sasuke called him, thrust the basket of vegetables to his view and smiled with pride. “Oka-san and Otou-san finally thought I was ready to run errands, and they sent me to get food from the farmer close to home! It's my third day, now!”

Sasuke frowned. “These woods aren't safe for someone your age, and I know your parents know that.”

Noburu shook his head, grinning even wider. “Not anymore, they aren't! Something happened a few months ago, and I don't really know what, and Oka-san and Otou-san still don't really want me to go alone anywhere, but you know how close the farm is to home, right, Sasuke-niisan? It's the only place they let me go alone!”

There it was again. _Sasuke-niisan_. Pulling the objects in her arms closer to herself, Sakura wondered how they came to know each other so well, and why he hadn't ever told her about this family he was evidently so very familiar with.

_(...and how many other things Sasuke might have omitted to speak of from his travels.)_

“Sasuke-kun?”

The pair turned to look at her. When Sasuke frowned, Sakura thought he must have noted some kind of insecurity in her expression. She swallowed tightly, but kept her eyes on him, noting the tightness of his jaw as her fingers fiddled with the material of her towel.

“Wow! You sure are pretty!” the boy exclaimed, then, seemingly unaware of the odd tension building as he ran to her and grinned. “Are you Sasuke-niisan's girlfriend?”

Making an unintelligible noise, a heavy blush bloomed over her cheeks, mouth parting in slight. Yet before she could even think about how to answer, Sasuke stepped to his side and put a hand to the young child's shoulder, chiding lowly, “Noburu. You can't just ask someone that.”

“Why not?”

“Because they're private matters, and some people don't want to talk about them.”

“Private?” His brows furrowed, and he glanced at the two of them in turns, tilting his head. After a moment, his eyes seemed to gain this startling second of clarity, sending his back straightening and spreading the most eager smile to his lips. Clasping his hands behind him, Noburu proclaimed, “Oh, you mean it's a secret!”

Sasuke stiffened, eyes widening fractionally. “That's not what I—”

“Don't worry, I won't tell! But you should come visit us, Sasuke-niisan! Oka-san's been talking about you all the time lately—she's been wondering if you've been doing all right because we haven't seen you in so long! And I know Otou-san and Asuka-chan miss you just as much! Won't you come eat dinner with us tonight?”

A long breath of patience fell from his lips, and Sakura watched as the tension slowly eased from Sasuke’s shoulders. Then, his gaze shifted to catch hers, mismatched eyes filled with a hesitance that made her heart flutter, and she almost felt her own breath catch.

He didn't want to impose on her.

Chest warming softly, Sakura looked at the boy and gave him a small smile. Crouching down at his level, she put a gentle hand to his arm and murmured kindly, “Well how could we say no to a face like that? Besides, I think I'd like to hear about how you all met Sasuke-kun.”

Noburu's face brightened instantly. Gleaming brown eyes transparently overjoyed, he reached for her hands and jumped in place, laughing. “It's such a great story!” he exclaimed, starting down towards the trees while he excitedly tugged her along. “The best ever! Just wait until you hear about it!”

Eyes crinkling, and lips spread into a wide, delighted smile, Sakura faintly heard Sasuke's sigh behind her, but couldn't help but to laugh softly as he called out with mild exasperation, “Slow down, Noburu, Sakura and I need to pack first.”

.

.

They arrived on the sloped hill of Noburu's home just as the blues of the sky started seeping in red and orange glows, in telltale sign of a day's end.

“Oka-san! Otou-san! I'm back!” Noburu yelled, waving a hand high in the air as they came into sight with a woman no more ten years their senior hanging up laundry atop of the hill, while a slightly older man worked at the garden a few feet away from her. “And you won't believe who I found!”

“There you are, Noburu! I was beginning to think you might have gotten lost!” the woman called, putting a hand on her hip as she balanced the laundry basket on the other. She seemed to lean forward, for a moment, as if squinting at them, before using her free hand to shield her eyes from the setting sun. “Who's that you have with you? Did you find new friends at the farmer's market?”

As they came closer, though, the woman seemed to stiffen, basket of clothes falling to the ground as she put a hand to her mouth and exclaimed, “Sasuke! Oh dear, Sasuke is that _you_? Anata, come quick, Sasuke's here! He's back!”

Sakura watched as the older man seemed to perk up at this, a wide, bright smile spreading to his lips as he turned sharply and set his eyes on their group. “Sasuke?” Standing up from his work, he brushed his hands to dust off the dirt and said with a warm laugh, “Well I'll be damned, there's that boy!”

He turned to take the hand of a little girl, one she hadn't noticed until now, and the three of them made their way to meet them, smiles wide and eyes crinkling. Noburu ran towards his mother when she was close enough, throwing his arms around her middle and grinning brightly.

“I found him, Oka-san!”

His mother bent down and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly. “And thank the heavens you did, sweetheart! Goodness knows how long we would have waited for him to come visit us.”

At this, she threw a teasing smile Sasuke's way, and the latter made a sound, like an amused huff. It amazed Sakura, how comfortable he seemed to be with them, and the thought was both unnerving as it was awing. She couldn’t help but to wonder how long they’d all known each other.

“Really, Sasuke,” the woman said, kissing her son's cheek, before standing up again. “What's kept you from us all this time? We were beginning to worry!”

“Aa. Sorry. I had... stuff to deal with at home.”

_Home._ Glancing at him quickly, Sakura blinked, mouth parting lightly. Had he always spoken of Konoha as home, when he was away? Even when he hadn't forgiven the village yet?

She almost blushed when he spared her a small, tender glance, lips twitching, as if he'd read her thoughts. Her eyes widened before they darted away, fingers moving to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear as a light flush took to her cheeks.

_(maybe he hadn't meant konoha. maybe he'd meant that home was with—)_

“And you brought a friend!” the lady exclaimed. When she stepped forward and took hold of her arms, peering at her with blue eyes almost as warm and lively as Naruto's, Sakura almost jumped. “Such a beautiful lady, I mean—look at that hair! And those eyes! Oh, Sasuke, how come you've never brought her before?”

Sakura felt her blush darkening a little, lips tugging into a shy smile, but as she went to say something, the woman's husband suddenly said, “You must be Sakura.”

Shock rippled through her. Eyes widened and jaw slackening considerably, she stared at the forty-something year old man smiling at her, arms crossed and gaze so full of certainty that it sent her blushing madly.

_(he... talked about her? enough to have a complete stranger recognize her? what had he said? in what context? and why was he looking at her like that? like he'd been waiting to one day meet her?)_

Heart pounding deafeningly loudly, Sakura shifted to look at Sasuke. As she noted the stiffness to his shoulders, cheeks lightly flushed and eyes tinged with the barest hint of agitation, her blush worsened until she was sure her whole face was red. He met her gaze for the briefest moment, before quickly looking away, sending her breath hitching.

“How come you know her name, darling? Don't tell me you and Sasuke talk about things I know nothing about! Is this his girlfriend?”

A pout formed to the woman's lips, but Sakura suddenly felt so dizzy; face too hot, heart too thundering and thoughts too wild.

“Oh darling, why didn't you tell me he had a girlfriend? You know how much I worry about that boy! All this time I thought he might end up alone! Couldn't you tell me he had someone?”

“It's supposed to be a secret, mama!” Noburu piped in, then. “They don't want people to know!”

She couldn't look at him—didn't think he could look at her either—but somehow, she could feel how twitchy Sasuke was getting, things seemingly spiraling too far out of his control by the soft noise that left him, something of a cross between a huff of disbelief and a groan of defeat.

The family didn't seem to notice.

“Oh, nonsense! It's not like we have anybody else to talk to around here,” the lady said, sounding as though she was waving the ridiculous idea away. She wrapped her hands around both their wrists then, smiling delightedly, “Come on inside, then! You'll have to tell us all about your travels and why you've been away for so long, dear! And you need to tell me all about you and Sakura! You two—look at you, such a lovely pair! Your story must be nothing less than amazing. Come on in, dears!”

As she ushered her children into the house and led them both towards their home, the woman called to her husband, “Anata, could you please finish putting up the laundry as I help them settle in? I don't think I'll have time before I start making dinner.”

“Of course, Natsumi.”

“Thank you, dear! Come join us inside when you're done!”

Smiling, Natsumi guided them past the front door, and urged them to place their bags at the side. Once they were done, she gave them a once-over, and blinked, shaking her head lightly.

“Now, that won't do. You two need to clean up! Sasuke, I believe you know where the showers are,” she said, cocking a hand to her hip. When he nodded at her and started down the right hall, Natsumi turned to her and said, “Sakura! Sweetheart come with me, I'll show you the way to the baths. You look like you need a good soak.”

Allowing the woman to gently grab at her arm as she escorted her down the left hall of her home, Sakura peered over her shoulder. Her heart stumbled in her chest as she caught sight of Sasuke walking away, single hand rubbing at his neck in the way it oftentimes did when he felt a little bashful.


	12. twelve

It was a bit odd to bathe in a stranger's house. While Sakura was not unfamiliar with getting a good soak in public hot springs while in the presence of people she knew nothing about, she could not help but to feel a little awkward in her position. Immersed in steaming water in a large, squared ceramic tub, foreign to the wooden walls and endless shelves of beauty products, she felt something like an intruder; completely surrounded by a world that felt so acutely different from the one she and her family and friends shared back in Konoha.

The room felt homey and lived in—already far different than the public and private hot springs and bathhouses found on the roads they had taken—but also far more old-fashioned and spacious than back at home, filled with floor-wood styles and cabinet designs Sakura had only seen in framed pictures of her parents' walls.

Somehow, Sakura liked it better like this.

“Do you have any scented preference in shampoos and lotions, Sakura? I've got all sorts, here—I can never quite stop buying them,” Natsumi said, nimble finger pressed to her chin as she pensively examined the myriad of products she owned. “Yuuta's given up on reprimanding me, that good husband of mine—he knows I won't stop.”

In the short while they had known each other, Sakura could not deny that she liked Natsumi's presence. Bright and peppy, and filled with a warmth and a most motherly nature, it was hard to feel anything but welcomed when around her. Her animated and loving persona only reminded her of Naruto and Ino, both of whom she'd been missing in her time away, and would continue to miss along her journey with Sasuke.

Natsumi turned to her, then, and tilted her head, lips pursing. After a moment of observation, she said, “You look like a girl who likes sweet things, but not overpowering. Something more subtle. Vanilla maybe? Or perhaps your namesake. Cherry blossom suits you well, right?” Brows furrowing, she shook her head. “How about melon? Yes, I think that would do.”

Smiling, Natsumi nodded to herself and reached for three bottles, gathering them in her arms before she made her way towards the bathtub. Placing them to the side, she casually sat on the cornered edge and folded her hands in her lap.

“Now, tell me about yourself, Sakura. Sasuke's mentioned he has a teammate with pink hair who works at the hospital. Is that you?”

Sakura blushed. It couldn't seem to cease to make her feel sheepish hearing how Sasuke had talked about her to strangers. “Yes,” she murmured. “We've known each other since we were kids, really... It's been a long time.”

The older woman's face lit up, the brightest smile slipping to her lips as she cooed, “Oh, little childhood sweethearts, then! I love stories like those.”

Blushing harder, Sakura sputtered, “That's—I mean we're not—”

Natsumi waved her off, and she quieted, eyes darting down the bubbly water as she sank deeper into the bath.

“Now, now, there's no need to lie. We don't have anyone to talk to over here, so your secret is perfectly safe with us!”

Chewing her lip, she said softly, “It's not that, it's just—It's... complicated.”

To her mild surprise, Natsumi merely gave her a wise nod, sighing wistfully. “Well, I imagine it must be, when it comes to an ex-criminal like him. You were both fighting on opposite sides at one point, right? Fighting the one you love can't be easy.”

Sakura's mouth parted, green eyes considerably widened. “You—you know about Sasuke-kun's past?”

“Some bits and pieces,” Natsumi said, her look and smile softening considerably. “You know him—he never really likes to talk much. Very reserved. But he's told us enough: that he betrayed his village, long ago, and everyone he loved and cared for; that he was on the path of darkness and revenge for a very, very long time, and he hurt his team mates more than he ever wanted to. That he was a wanted criminal, and that he had killed people in his darkest moments—even almost killed one of the ones he cared most about.”

Her throat grew tight at this, remembering when Sasuke's hand was at her neck, squeezing the air out of her lungs, and when his chidori was seconds away from ending her life. She wondered if Natsumi knew that it was _her_ he'd almost killed.

“He was very lost,” the older woman went on, “but he said his team mates never gave up on him and that's how he found the light again. He's made a lot of mistakes, that boy, but he keeps trying to atone for them. And I think he's found a lot of peace with us, like this.”

Sakura felt a warmth wash over her then, swelling at her heart. “He's always trying so hard, I know. He's just amazing, really—he's made so much progress since he came back from the war, but I don't think he actually realizes how far he's come.”

Lost in thought, she hadn't quite realized she was smiling before she felt fingers gently brush her cheek, snapping her out of her reverie.

“Such a sweet girl,” Natsumi whispered, tilting her head and smiling softly. “He's made a good choice for the one that he wants by his side.”

Feeling her cheeks flush again, Sakura quickly corrected, before trailing out, “We're not...”

Natsumi gave a soft chuckle. “Not yet, perhaps,” she agreed, “but you will—right? You both know that, I think. You've loved him for years, and Sasuke—well, he's always been so intent on traveling these roads alone, so if he has you with him now... you must be important to him.” Crossing her arms, she then went on, “Plus, he always seemed so lonely, when he visited us. But with you here... he's more whole than I ever thought he could be. He's always been a little tormented, clearly, but—he seems very at peace with you, Sakura.”

Heart pounding hard, Sakura sank a little deeper into the bathtub until the water touched her chin. “Yeah, I am, too,” she whispered, a small, gentle smile curling to her lips. 

She heard Natsumi hum, evidently pleased. “Well, I'll let you get your peace and quiet!” she said. Sakura could hear the smile in her voice, wide and incredibly bright as she walked towards the door. “Join us when you're ready, sweetheart!”

Thoughts ringing with nothing but Natsumi's words and Sasuke's ever-so-growing serenity of the heart, Sakura let her head tip back against the tub, smile stretching even wider.

.

.

Unsurprisingly, Sasuke was already at the table by the time she had taken to joining them half an hour later. His hair predictably still damp, he was dressed in a new set of clothes devoid of the Uchiha emblem. Sakura could only guess Natsumi had provided him with a clean change, as she had for her, while they waited for their own to get a proper wash.

It was almost strange to see him this way. Clan symbol missing, ninja gear abandoned in a nearby room—every trace of shinobi gone to these civilians' eyes. He wasn't Uchiha Sasuke, the formidable ninja of a powerful lineage who had gone rogue after the mass murder of his clan.

He was simply Sasuke.

“Smells good in here,” she said, then, catching everyone's attention. She caught Sasuke's eyes first, smiling lightly, before turning her attention to Natsumi. “Thank you for the clothes, Natsumi-san. I don't think I could have spent another hour in the clothes I had.”

“Now what kind of woman do you think I am? There's no need to thank me—it would take a hardhearted soul to leave you two in that state. Now come, sit with us! The food will start to get cold if we don't start eating now.”

Nodding, Sakura moved to take a seat, noting with slight amusement that the only one left vacant was beside Sasuke. It could have been common courtesy, so as not to make her uncomfortable surrounded by strangers' presences, but by the pout on Noburu's face, Sakura distantly suspected that it was Natsumi's doing.

“Better?” Sasuke asked, as she took her place at his side, voice only loud enough for her ears. He wasn't looking at her, busied instead with filling his plate with food, but she could see his mouth tugging lightly. It made her heart flop.

“Much,” she replied just as quietly, giving him a teasing smile.

Sasuke said nothing to that, but she could see the tug of his lips becoming more insistent. She had to refrain from smiling wider as he took a bite of stir-fried rice and pork instead, as if to hide it by busying his mouth.

“Hm, Sasuke, have you heard about the new security system yet?” Yuuta said, then.

“I can't say I have.”

Yuuta tells them about the series of meetings that the Land of Rivers council had with the daimyō nearly six months ago, discussing the possibility of installing a new patrolling system to protect the civilian families living in the woods. With nothing coming to fruition in the next months following, no one had ever really thought they'd set it up—until one day, there it was. Shinobis from all surrounding countries securing the area, sweeping the woods and looking over roads. There had even been rumors of supplies being offered to those in need.

In a matter of days, the number of spotted rogue nins had diminished by half. By the beginning of the third week of the installment, traveling roads became busier. They had not heard of any incident with a rogue since then.

Still, it had taken a while to let Noburu run errands. It was not uncommon for accidents to occur, rogue shinobi having long slipped under the radar for many years now, bypassing the old and weakened protection system. Trust had to be built.

“I don't blame you,” Sakura said, tone sympathetic. “The number of rogues has gone up so high since the war started. Even Konoha has had trouble handling them.”

“And how is Konoha, dear?” Natsumi asked. She paused, threw a humorous look Sasuke's way, and whispered with a wink, “You'll have to forgive me for asking, but Sasuke speaks so little of it, and so vaguely at that—I can't help but to want to know more about where you both come from.”

So he did have trouble talking about Konoha, she mused. That made sense. Still, knowing Sasuke referred to Konoha as home, despite his many conflicts with the village... it warmed her heart. He wouldn't be trying so hard to forgive the village if he didn't want to stay.

“Well, where to start? I guess I could tell you about our team first...”

It felt like hours passed, as she talked about Konoha: the goodness of Naruto's heart, the laziness of their perverted Hokage who used to be their sensei, the growing popularity of Ino's shop; she talked about the hospital ward for orphaned children that she helped to found, the new buildings and technology growing along, how the village renewed itself in the aftermath of such a destructive war.

There was such wonder in their eyes when she was finished, crinkling happiness and pride that almost sent her blushing. She wondered if they'd ever been in a village as large as Konoha.

“What about you?” Sakura queried, then, shyly tucking a lock of hair away. “How did you all meet Sasuke-kun?”

“He saved us!” Noburu exclaimed without preamble, moving to grip Sasuke's sleeve with such excitement he nearly knocked over his plate. Ignoring his mother's chiding, Noburu looked at Sasuke with the widest grin and said, “Sasuke-nii-san is our hero! We wouldn't be alive without him!”

“Hero! Hero!” the younger child chimed, waving her fork around energetically. “Hero Sas'ke-chan!”

“Asuka-chan, you know it's not polite to call Sasuke that,” Natsumi said, gently smoothing down her ruffled hair.

Sakura could hardly keep herself from giggling.

“She loves this story,” Yuuta said, smiling at his daughter. “She was a bit too young to remember what happened back then, but she loves hearing about it.”

“I'd sure love to hear it, too,” Sakura said, putting her chopsticks down. She leaned her head in her hands, looking at them attentively. “How long ago was that? What happened?”

“It was almost two years ago, now, I think—right Natsumi? Asuka-chan was only a few months old, then. It wasn't a good time for us then—bad weather for months and bad year for the crops... and then those rogue nins came. We're not much against ninjas like this, but we tried the best we could to defend ourselves. I—got a bit careless trying to defend my family.”

“I would have lost my husband that night, if Sasuke hadn't been there,” Natsumi said gently, touching the older man's arm affectionately. “And that's something I know I'll always be thankful for. I wouldn't have made it this far without my Yuuta.”

Heart fluttering in her chest, Sakura quietly peered at Sasuke, feeling her stomach quiver at the tenderness to his expression. This was something that meant dearly to him—something he was proud of, in the softest of ways.

_(a testament to the still-existing goodness of his heart that he still some days had a hard time finding.)_

“He stayed with us for a while.” Natsumi went on, catching her attention again. “I thought he would leave after saving us—but I guess he saw that I had too much on my hands. I didn't know a thing about tending to wounds, especially not the kind those rogues put on my husband. And with the kids...”

“He helped you out,” Sakura said, feeling a bit breathless. When she stole another glance to Sasuke, he was pointedly staring at his plate, playing with a slice of pork. It didn't take a genius to see he was growing a little overwhelmed.

Nodding, Natsumi smiled and said, “We're very thankful for everything he's done for us. Shinobi and civilian worlds have this wide rift, most of the time, and although it is a common occurrence of shinobi to help and protect us, stories of them sticking around afterwards to help repair the damages and tend to wounds—well, you don't hear that. Not very much, anyway. At least, not when they don't have to.”

It was true, Sakura could admit. Shinobi were always in a hurry to protect everyone, carrying on mission after mission, saving one person after another, village after village. Not many bothered to stick around, too hasty in getting to the next savior's act. Most considered themselves of considerably higher ground than civilians for this.

_(it was a sad reality, but one that sakura was confident would change over time. probably with naruto—if someone could bring the world together as equals, it would probably be him.)_

“So you helped them get back on their feet,” Sakura said, turning to Sasuke. The smile to her lips was gentle.

Meeting her eyes, Sasuke merely said, voice soft, “They needed me.”

_And I needed to be needed,_ she could hear him say.

“He was a frightening looking man, to be honest. But I'd never met a man before who could look like that and still evidently want to do so much good.”

“Noburu didn't seem to think that,” Sasuke said then, a light mirth to his gaze as he looked at the young boy.

Pouting, Noburu exclaimed, “You had a red and purple eye—that's freaky, Sasuke-niisan! What was I supposed to think?”

“I didn't say I blamed you.”

Laughing, Sakura winked at Noburu and whispered, “I would have thought the same.”

The flat look Sasuke shot her then sent the whole family laughing alongside her.

Talk pursued for the next few hours, Sasuke's travels now centering the conversations. Although Sakura had heard all of the stories he'd taken to talk about, she didn't feel any less attentive than the first time. It captivated her, the way Sasuke engaged with these people: slightly awkward, but genuine all the same, trying his best to appease to their curiosity and enthusiastic thirst for his travelings. He cared a great deal about them.

It was only when the topic of his reason for being away for so long came up that she found herself surprised.

“There are times the council doesn't allow me to leave for a while if I've been away for too long,” Sasuke said. “Plus, there were... complications with my prosthetic arm. I had to stay.”

But that wasn't really the truth, Sakura knew. It was half a white lie, because while that was once the case in the past year, Sasuke's most recent stay had only been so long because he wanted it to be. She wondered why he couldn't simply tell them, and if he was worried the real reason would hurt them. Somehow, it made her heart flutter.

“Talking about your arm, Sasuke-kun, that reminds me—you have a periodical healing session due,” Sakura murmured, smiling lightly. “I guess I'll have to take care of that after dinner.”

“Oh, medical jutsu!” Natsumi exclaimed, blue eyes wide and crinkling with interest. “Could we watch you heal him? We never get to see that kind of thing!”

Cheeks flushing a little, Sakura nodded her agreement, smiling wider. “Of course.”

When she looked at Sasuke, he merely smiled at her—faint and small, and just between them.

.

.

They retired to the backyard of the small country home later on, limbs splayed out on the green grass and eyes drawn up to the stars. Belly full and mind buzzing, but feeling so very at peace with herself, Sakura couldn't help but to understand why it was that Sasuke kept coming back here. It had been a long time since she'd felt so good about herself, contented with the life she lived. She couldn't imagine the kind of wonders it did to Sasuke.

“Why didn't you tell me about them, Sasuke-kun?” she asked eventually, her voice quiet but far from accusing.

She turned to look at him when he didn't respond, eyes softening as she noted the frown to his lips.

“I mean, I get why you keep coming back—I really do. But I don't know why you wouldn't bring them up. I would have loved hearing about them, you know that.”

He met her gaze, and for a long moment did not look away.

“I didn't want you to worry,” he said, then.

“About what?”

“About me never coming back.”

“Now why would I ever—”

“Because I don't think Konoha will ever make me feel the way that they do,” he said, his eyes flashing with a sort of hardness. “I will always be reminded of my mistakes, in one way or another—I will always be an Uchiha. I'm free from my past, here. I feel more accepted than I think I ever will be in Konoha.”

Something in her twisted uncomfortably. Although Sasuke appeared to refer to Konoha as his home, these words seemed to make it startlingly clear that maybe, just maybe Konoha would never really be _home_ to Sasuke. Maybe he would always need to leave.

_(maybe he would never really stay.)_

Her heart lurched. “Oh.”

Sasuke sighed. “ _This_ is why I didn't say anything. You're worried I'm going to change my mind about coming back.”

“What? Of course not,” she lied, shifting her eyes to the stars again.

“You're a terrible liar.”

She bit her lip. “Okay. Well—maybe I am. Don't I have the right?”

Sasuke sighed again. “You worry too much. This place it's...” He paused for a moment, brows furrowing, as if trying to find the right words. “... _liberating_. I've found a peace with myself that I never thought I could have. I feel—good. _Better_.”

_Like a good man,_ she could hear.

She heard him shift, saw his head turn her way from the corner of her eye.

“But it's not home, Sakura.”

She swallowed. Turning to look at him as well, she almost caught her breath at the tenderness of his features.

“But how could Konoha be home,” she whispered, “if you can't find some of that same peace there?”

His eyes softened, crinkling at the corners. “What makes you think that I don't?”

Her mouth ran dry. “But you said—you said it didn't make you feel accepted, that it reminded you of your past and all your mistakes and—”

“ _Konoha_ isn't home, Sakura.”

There was something in the way he was looking at her, in the way his lips tugged that made her heart pound. Because she could see it—she knew what he meant. 

Konoha wasn't home—but home was still _in_ Konoha. With team seven; with Naruto, with Kakashi.

With _her_.

Heart thrumming sweetly, Sakura smiled. “I'm so glad you found them, Sasuke-kun,” she said softly. “I'm glad they can help you. They're so lovely. I really do understand why you keep coming back here.”

Sasuke gave a hum, turning his gaze back up towards the shimmering stars. There was a silence, short and comfortable, but when his hand brushed hers, she didn't hesitate to link their pinkies together, locking them firmly.

They stayed like that for a long, lingering while, watching the stars in the quietude of the field. The moment was only broken when Sakura's mouth stretched into a yawn, wide and long.

“I guess it's probably time I head to bed,” she quipped, pulling away to rub at her eyes. As she pushed herself to her feet, she stretched her limbs and yawned once more, running a hand through her hair tiredly. “I think the others are sleeping, and I don't really want to wake them up—so would you mind showing me to my room, Sasuke-kun?”

“Our room,” Sasuke corrected, as he moved to his feet. “They don't have another spare.”

Blinking, Sakura tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, and blushed lightly. “Oh. Okay,” she murmured, feeling suddenly quite shy. She wasn't a stranger to sharing a bed with Sasuke by now, but somehow, it felt different now that she knew they would be sleeping side by side in somebody else's home.

_(people who, no less, were quite aware of the type of relationship they shared.)_

Turning from him to hide her growing blush, Sakura smiled brightly and said, “Well, it's not like they—”

Her words were cut off, however, when Sasuke suddenly came forward and wrapped his single arm around her shoulders, causing her breath to snag and quiver as he drew her back into his chest and buried his face in her neck in an unbelievably forward gesture of affection. Stunned, and so very stiff, Sakura didn't dare to move, even despite the raging pounding of her heart and dizzying rush of feelings.

There was hesitance, in the way he held her, his grip both so strangely light and strong, and a fragility in the moment—like he was allowing himself something he didn't yet feel he was supposed to have.

The knowledge nearly had her knees shaking, but instead, Sakura closed her eyes and chose to relish in the moment, feeling a warm blush creep over her. Hands reaching to gently clutch at his sleeve, she let out a soft, deep sigh, nuzzling his arm carefully.

But it was over all too soon; Sasuke's hold tightened, squeezing for the barest moment as he let out a warm, slow, shuddering breath against her neck, before he pulled away altogether, striding towards the house like nothing ever happened.

“Come on. Let's go to bed.”

Heart still racing and mind still dazed, Sakura only followed, slightly disoriented. Unable to stop thinking about the moment they had just shared, she felt an incredible warmth rush through her, prompting a faint smile to her lips.

She could only hope this meant that Sasuke was feeling increasingly ready to be with her. Perhaps not yet, but maybe sooner than she'd first thought.


	13. thirteen

A week passed by at the Hawanaki’s home, and Sakura had come to learn something quite startling about the civilian life: it could effortlessly be just as arduous as that of any ninja.

Shinobi work was ruthless, of that Sakura knew very well, but the system in place had always made sure that they would be prepared for it; at the tender age of six, children were enrolled in a ninja academy, where, for the next few years, they were taught in endurance, combat, and the art of survival. Although left with enough freedom to learn of the hardships of their world on their own, young ninjas were always ensured with the resources they needed, supervised by senior shinobi to guide their process and help them build their needed adequacy towards their career. Only when they properly met the requirements were they allowed to gain rank and take on the shinobi path on their own.

Civilians, on the other hand, were left to learn on their own. No one showed them how to make a living in these woods, how to survive; how to protect themselves and the ones they cared for. Knowledge of old generations passed down to the next, parents teaching their children what they knew—but with a world ever-growing and constantly changing, old tricks did not always pan out.

Thoughtfully, Sakura acknowledged that she didn’t think she had ever seen a civilian family work as hard as this one, before; laboring the fields for hours on end, paying no mind to the heat of the sun and exhausting groundskeeping work dampening their skin and clothes. Their wellbeing relied not only on the quantity, but the quality of their crops just as well—the harvest serving as monetary outcome just as much as it served to feed them.

Ninjas, as far as Sakura knew, hardly ever struggled with money the way civilians so clearly did.

“Oh, not another one,” she heard Natsumi worry.

Blinking, Sakura turned and watched as Natsumi hunched over a seemingly wilting patch of the garden, slim hand anxiously reaching out to touch the leaves, as if testing the chances of revival. “These were doing so well two weeks ago, weren’t they, anata? I’m not sure we can handle more losses.”

“We’ll make due, Natsumi, don’t worry,” Yuuta said, standing from his spot close by to make his way towards his wife. When he reached her, he put two reassuring hands on her shoulders, squeezing them firmly. “The next one will be better, I’m sure of it.”

The gentle, encouraging smile to his lips had Sakura’s eyes lightening, but she couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed when Natsumi, seemingly still vexed, whispered something to her husband, prompting Yuuta to kneel at her side and push his lips to her temple in a deep, reassuring kiss.

Sakura’s eyes darted away, cheeks flushing lightly; unable to help herself, her gaze shifted to Sasuke, finding that he had also averted his own. Likewise, he evidently felt the moment too private to observe.

Their eyes met, then, and she froze, warmth spreading to her face. She almost felt compelled to look away—until a light taint of pink dusted his cheeks, enrapturing her.

She wasn’t the only one who felt shy.

_(their love was tentative, slowly advancing—but this could be them, someday, they both knew that.)_

Tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, Sakura timidly broke her gaze from his and peered at the older couple, clasping her hands in front of her. With a smile and a fading blush, she declared, “Maybe Sasuke and I can go hunting for you, later. You could make good money selling the meat at the market, right?”

At this, Natsumi’s features brightened, her lips splitting into a wide smile. “Oh, could you really, sweetheart?” she said, voice hopeful. Rising to her feet, she reached out and grabbed Sakura’s hands, eyes crinkling warmly. “That would be wonderful.”

“We’ll head out after we’ve completed the work here, then,” Sasuke interjected, taking the few steps to join her side. Sakura almost blushed again. “There’s still a lot to do, and it wouldn’t be fair to leave you both to handle it all.”

“Well, it’s not like we don’t usually do it without you two,” Natsumi teased, grinning lightly. “But we certainly won’t be refusing your offer to help. The more, the merrier, right?”

Giggling, Sakura squeezed Natsumi’s hand kindly and acquiesced, “Of course.”

Newly reinvigorated, the older woman pulled away and let out a small sound of delight, whirling in Sasuke’s direction. Reaching for his single wrist, she grasped him tightly and veered in the direction of a distant patch of tomatoes, tugging him along with much enthusiasm as she said, loud and determined, “Sasuke, my boy, you’re coming with me! These tomatoes haven’t been looking so good, and I’m in need of your green thumb! One day, you’ll really have to teach me how you take care of them so well! What will I do if you don’t come by anymore?”

Clasping her hands behind her back, Sakura watched them both, smile growing wider. Her eyes crinkled as she noticed Sasuke’s lips quirking lightly.

“That’s not something for you to worry about, Natsumi,” he said, sending thousands of butterflies fluttering in her stomach.

Her gaze softened. Somehow, knowing that Sasuke didn’t intend on ever ceasing these visits didn’t unsettle her. It was the right thing to do, for everything they had done for him.

_(accepting him when he couldn’t even accept himself. unknowingly teaching him how to see the light in his heart, when all he could see was the darkness that had possessed it in his past—the darkness he thought to always consume him in some form. they had shown him how to overcome himself, in small ways.)_

And in that sense, their lives were intertwined.

“All right, well,” Yuuta said, then, drawing her from her thoughts. “I guess that leaves the hard work for us, right Sakura?”

Sakura grinned. “Well, someone has to, right?”

The older man laughed, hearty and strong, making her grin widen and her chest burst with pride, and in that moment, she realized: she didn’t think she could ever stop visiting them either. A family so warm and welcoming, making the best of what they had—but most of all, supportive and wholly accepting of everyone they cared for.

All that she could hope was that she would continue to do so at Sasuke’s side.

.

.

“Oh, you shinobi make me feel so old,” Yuuta said several hours later, as she lifted a heavy dirt wagon with complete ease. His words were laced with a light laugh.

Taken off guard, Sakura couldn’t help but to laugh as well, setting the metal cart down to turn and look at him. Jokingly, she flexed for him, before breaking into giggles and wiping the sweat from her brow.

“Don’t worry, I wasn’t always this strong,” she said. “It took me a little under two years, plus really amazing chakra control to actually master the skill of super strength—and I’m one of the few who has.” She laughed lightly. “I can promise you that without the help of their ninjutsu and chakra-enchanced attack, most shinobi’s strength is actually pretty comparable to any of you civilians. I mean—they’re still stronger, yeah, but that’s just because they’ve all been trained in combat since they were children. If they put civilians through the same combat training, I can guarantee you that you’d all be up to par.”

Brows rising, Yuuta smiled and leaned against his shovel, seemingly interested. “Really now? Ah, well that does make me feel better, then.”

Smiling, Sakura said, “Trust me, Yuuta-san, as a doctor, I can tell you that you’re in amazing shape for someone your age.”

The older man grinned. “So flattering—but how do I know you’re not just lying to reassure me?”

Winking at him, she simply looked away and sang, “Well, I guess you’ll never know.”

Shaking his head in disbelief, Yuuta laughed again, prompting a boastful smile to her lips.

"I can definitely see why Sasuke likes you," he said, his voice light and sure.

Her heartbeat stumbled at this, smile falling. Swallowing, she asked, "How did you know, Yuuta-san?"

Tilting his head, the man simply blinked in response.

"I mean—when we arrived here,” she went on, brows furrowing, “how did you know my name?"

_Did Sasuke-kun talk about me?_ was left unsaid.

Something in the man’s look changed, his smile fading to something kinder. No doubt he was looking to comfort her upon finding her worried.

“I’m not going to lie to you, Sakura,” he said, smile turning a little sad, “I didn’t know you because he talked about you. I think you know much better than I do that he is not that type of man. He never likes to talk about his personal life.”

Her throat grew tight. Swallowing down the bitter truth, she let her eyes drop to the ground, disappointment lurching through her heavily. She should have known, she mused.

“But he let things slip, sometimes,” Yuuta went on. “When we asked, or when he talked about Konoha.” He gave a thoughtful hum, tilting his head as he fixed her with an all-too-earnest stare. “We came to learn about the three people he held most closely to his heart: a loud, compassionate blonde best friend, a lazy, perverted ex-teacher… and a warmhearted, strong girl with the oddest color of natural-born hair he’d ever seen. But, well, he never really mentioned any of you by name.”

He paused, and smiled. “But I asked him once—about if he had anyone special in his life. I think it was the time before we last saw him, actually. Back then, he never answered me, and I didn’t push; I let it go, and we kept working the field. But before we went inside to call it a night… he said, _Sakura. Her name is Sakura_.”

Her breath hitched, and Yuuta’s smile softened, eyes shining with a warm mirth. “I knew that was you when I saw you that day.”

Chest suddenly becoming so inexplicably tight, Sakura felt like she couldn’t really breathe for a long, long moment, mind whirling wildly. She wanted to say something—but she didn’t know what, still reveling in this new knowledge that when asked if he had anyone special in his life, if he had someone he held dear to his heart… she was the one he had answered with.

Sasuke loved her, truly and earnestly, and this was something that never failed to amaze her.

She was broken out of her daze, however, when Sasuke’s voice resounded: “Do you need any help?”

Stiffening, Sakura’s eyes snatched to him, cheeks flushing madly and blood pounding in her head with dizzying force as he met her gaze. With this fresh reaffirmation of where she stood in his life, she couldn’t seem to keep herself from feeling so flustered in his presence.

“W-We’re—We’re fine, Sasuke-kun,” she stuttered, quickly inwardly cursing her utter lack of composure. Growing more embarrassed, her eyes darted away, and she pretended to resume her work. “Thank you.”

If Sasuke hadn’t noticed her agitation before, there was no question that he knew now.

As she palpated the earth, she wondered why she felt so ridiculously abashed, like this. It wasn’t like it was anything new—it was only logical he would consider her his most special person _(alive, anyway)_ if he was in love with her… right?

Somehow, Sakura couldn’t seem to concur with this. There was something about knowing she was his dearest person that had her feeling a little overwhelmed, especially now that he was here.

…Perhaps because usually, people wanted to spend the rest of their lives with their most special person.

Had Sasuke ever thought of her this way? she couldn’t help thinking. As his wife, his lifelong partner—the woman he would maybe one day want children with? The mere thought sent her heart careening in such wild rhythms she almost felt faint.

Yuuta’s laughter broke the silence. “Ah, we’re almost done, really,” he said, waving him off. “Just have to handle this last dirt wagon. Where’s Natsumi?”

“Gone with the kids to make lemonade and get watermelon slices. She thought we might all need refreshments.”

“That sounds perfect. Maybe you ought to help them out, though—sometimes the kids aren’t the most trustworthy to be bringing out drinks intact.”

There was a pause. Sakura could feel Sasuke’s eyes on her, steady and calculating. She swallowed tightly, fingers twitching in their task.

“I only have one arm,” she heard him say, then. “You’re better suited to carry those drinks. I can take over while you join your family.”

His tone was calm, but not quite nonchalant. There was something about it that made her grow nervous. Blushing harder, Sakura looked up at them and tried not to shake when she found Sasuke’s gaze already locked on her.

Yuuta cleared his throat. “Well, all right then,” he said, pushing himself to his feet and dusting off his hands. He smiled, and nodded at them both. “You two kids have fun.”

It was silent, as the older man walked away.

“Are you all right?” Sasuke asked, when a full minute had passed. He sounded so careful.

Did he think she was upset?

Her blush worsened. “I—Yes. I’m fine,” she answered, stuttering a little. She averted her eyes.

“ _Sakura_.”

_Look at me,_ she could hear him say. _Don’t… Don’t hide from me._

Letting out a slow, shuddering breath, Sakura managed to look up at him again. Her heart fluttered at the sight that met her: furrowed brows, tightly mulled lips, mismatched eyes colored with deep confusion. An immaculate picture of a concerned—

_(—teammate? lover? friend? …soul mate? it was so hard to define what exactly they were right now, with all these crossed lines.)_

“I’m okay,” she said, finally, her voice sweet but a bit subdued. “Really, Sasuke-kun.”

His eyes flickered uncertainly across the features of her face. She could tell he wasn’t convinced.

Taking a deep breath, Sakura took her courage and admitted, “Yuuta-san… he told me just now that he asked you a question, once—about if you—if you had anyone special in your life.”

She saw his mouth part at this, mismatched eyes losing their scrutinizing shade to give way to something more demure; a muted kind of embarrassment—or shyness, perhaps.

Swallowing tightly, she went on, “You… you answered with me. And I never thought—I don’t know… It took me by surprise.” Fiddling with her skirt, she looked down for a moment, thoughtful, before meeting his gaze again a few beats later. “I know things have been different between us for a while,” she said. “I know that we’re not exactly… friends.” At these words, his gaze seemed to lighten, and she blushed. “But, sometimes—I still get nervous when I’m around you, because sometimes it’s just—it’s overwhelming. It still takes some time getting used to… to knowing what I mean to you.” She blushed even harder. “To… knowing what we’ll be someday.”

As she watched him swallow, Sakura felt her stomach flutter, knowing it was true. Knowing he had meant it.

A shy smile pulled at her lips. “I don’t think I can tell you how happy it made me to hear that I’m that person to you, Sasuke-kun,” she whispered, taking the few simple steps separating them. Nearly shaking, she took his single hand in both of her own, and gently ran her thumbs across his skin. “Nervous… but so, _so_ happy.”

His eyes softened again. For a moment, he did nothing but look at her, gaze filled with the utmost tenderness. Then, he raised his hand to gently press his two fingers to her forehead, the gesture heavy with affection.

“Happy…” he murmured, lips tugging in a faint, genuine smile. “…Good.”

Sakura couldn’t help her smile from growing, at this, a blush taking to her cheeks.

The moment was broken, however, as Natsumi burst from the house alongside her husband, and chimed, “Lemonades are ready, and we’ve got watermelon for everyone! Come on, you two, drop what you’re doing and get down here! Gods know you both deserve a break with a rough day’s work like this one!”

Sasuke’s hand fell at this, and Sakura nearly sighed, slightly saddened at the lost moment. She gave him a half smile, unperturbed to hide her disheartened mood as she turned to make her way to the Hawanakis setting up refreshments on their front porch.

But his fingers snatched out around her wrist, keeping her firmly in place. With a near jump, she turned to look at him, mouth parted and eyes slightly wide. “Sas—”

“I don’t know who else you thought I could have…” He trailed out, mouth clamping shut. Still, his gaze was steadfast, earnest. “You’re the only one that…”

His words fell away again, but Sakura didn’t need him to go on. A shuddering breath left her lips. She knew what he meant to say.

_It was always just you. There was never anybody else._

Warmth flooded to her heart; a gentle smile curled at her lips.

With the way that his eyes relaxed, she could tell he knew she’d understood.

.

.

They stayed out on the front porch with the Hawanaki family all throughout the late afternoon, and well into the evening, talking, laughing and sharing stories as they drank lemonade and chewed on cubed watermelon pieces. In their second hour in, Sakura realized that there would be no more work to be done today; a rather common occurrence, she deduced, as she humorously whispered this newfound understanding to the man beside her and watched as Sasuke’s mouth merely tugged lightly, eyes flashing with a certain look of familiarity as he rolled his shoulders in a faint shrug. Suppressing the urge to giggle, Sakura merely smiled and turned her attention back to the couple currently thoroughly engaged in a conversation about the spike in prices at the market.

It was only when the sun started to set that Natsumi seemed to realize how late it was getting.

“Oh my!” she exclaimed, nearly jumping from her seat. “What time is it? Oh, I can’t believe we got so caught up—there’s a dinner to prepare!” Turning towards her husband, she lightly tapped his arm and urged, “Anata, come with me please, I’ll be needing your help tonight.”

“We can help too,” Sakura offered kindly, pushing herself to her feet as she watched Natsumi hurriedly gathering their dishes and the emptied jug of lemonade.

Upon noticing this, Natsumi quickly ushered her back down, shaking her head with a good-natured smile. “No, no, no!” she insisted, “You two stay outside. It’s bad form to let the guests do any more work than you have today! Yuuta is all the help I need.”

Her husband made a sound of agreement to this, reaching to take the remaining plates and glasses. Natsumi smiled wider.

“Why don’t you both watch the kids while we get things ready?” she said. “They can get so quick-tempered when they’re hungry, and I don’t doubt they’ll be reaching that point soon. Maybe you could both distract them?” Winking, she whispered to Sakura, “I know Noburu has been _dying_ to hear about more of your feats, sweetheart.”

Shaking her head with mild amusement, Sakura smiled and finally relented, clasping her hands in her lap. “All right, then, we’ll watch over the kids for you.”

Natsumi’s smile grew wider, and with a most contented hum, she turned on her heels and quickly hurried back into the house with her grinning husband tagging along her tail.

Briefly, Sakura wondered if perhaps there was a reason the two wanted to be alone, but she quickly pushed away the thought with a blush. It was none of her business, whether or not they were trying to steal a quick moment of passion.

“They’re adorable,” she said after a moment, when she was sure they were out of earshot. “They’ve been married for what, over a decade now? But they’re still so crazy in love with each other. It’s really sweet.” Smiling to herself, she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, and shyly whispered, “I hope if I get married someday, I’m going to have something just like this.”

She could feel Sasuke’s gaze on her, unwavering in its intensity. Swallowing hard, Sakura forced herself to peer at him, breath nearly catching at the profound tenderness that resonated in his features.

“Hm.” His lips lifted, just a little. “Maybe you will.”

There was something about the way that he said it that had her heart skipping a beat. Like he wasn’t just talking about her, but about— _them_. One day, possibly, if he could be the kind of man he hoped he could be for her.

Sakura smiled, warmth rushing through her heart. Green eyes twinkling, she said, “Let’s go find what Noburu-chan and Asuka-chan are up to.”

When he nodded, they soundlessly made their way to the two laughing children playing in a bed of wildflowers a little ways away. Warm and giddy, Sakura wasted no time plopping next to them as they were greeted with cheering, lively cries, a grin spreading to her lips as she asked if they had heard about her proudest exploit where she had defeated a member of the evil band of rogues called Akatsuki. Enthralled, the two youngsters promptly scrambled in front of her, beseeching to hear the story.

So she talked, and talked, and talked, captivating both Hawanaki children in a mesmerizing daze, smiling and laughing as they gasped and yelled and cheered to her bravado. And as her story came to conclusion, and they came at her, eyes glimmering and exploding with the colors of fascination as they plundered her with questions, Sakura couldn’t help but to wonder if this is what it would be like if she had kids, someday.

Hers and Sasuke’s, maybe.

What kind of father would Sasuke be? she mused, a grin spreading to her lips as she watched Sasuke ruffling Noburu’s hair, mismatched eyes filled with mirth as he murmured for him to slow down.

He was always so quiet, when it came to Noburu and Asuka, but so kind as he spoke to them, his voice soft and warm. In rare times, he would even pat their heads affectionately or squeeze their shoulder. She wondered if this is how he would be, if they ever had a child together. Or was there more to see? The thought brought such warmth for her.

His eyes met hers, then, and she blushed, holding his gaze for a moment before timidly breaking away and turning to the little girl in her lap with a smile. Asuka had been trying to make a flower crown at some point during her tale, but it wasn’t turning out so well, and Sakura had taken it upon her to come to her aid afterwards.

“Oh, that looks great, Asuka-chan! Good girl—why don’t we make one for your mama?”

Giggling excitedly, Asuka cheered, allowing Sakura to laugh. She couldn’t find it in herself to concentrate on their task, however, when she felt the heavy weight of Sasuke’s gaze on her.

She didn’t know how to describe the way he was looking at her, when she finally turned to meet his stare. He’d never looked at her like this before—like he was seeing something new, like he was realizing something about her for the first time.

Perhaps, she thought, heartbeat racing in furious thumps, this was the first time Sasuke was truly thinking of her in the role of a mother.

.

. 

“You’re still out here?”

Belly flopping at the sound of his voice, Sakura smiled and glanced up to look at Sasuke with shining green, green eyes, her heart filling with incredible warmth at the sight of him. She couldn’t help it with everything that had taken place between them today—with everything she had learned when it came to how he felt about them. His mere presence now always seemed to send a torrent of affection bursting through her.

Giggling, Sakura lightly patted the place next to her in invitation. “Mhmm,” she affirmed, eyes drawing up towards the sky once more as he sat beside her. She could feel the heat of him, so close, so tempting, and it sent her skin buzzing, longing to brush against his own. “The stars are really bright tonight.”

“Hn.”

She smiled wider. “We had a good hunt earlier,” she stated, after a moment, peering at him tenderly. “It should make up for everything they lost, I think, right?”

“They’ll be fine,” he replied, a certain fondness to his tone. “They always make things work.”

“Yeah,” she murmured, looking back at the stars with a softened smile, “That’s something I came to learn about them, this past week.”

Sasuke made a sound of agreement, but didn’t say anything else for a while.

Then, after a few long minutes had passed, he murmured, “…They like you a lot, you know.”

"Of course they do—I'm amazing."

Grinning, she turned just in time to see him rolling his eyes, a smile cracking to his lips.

“And people say I’m arrogant,” he muttered.

“Oh? You don’t think you are? Not even a little bit?”

“Confident is more the word I’d use.”

“Mhmm. _Right_.”

He lightly shoved her at this, and she couldn’t help herself from bursting into laughter, shoving him back. Her heart fluttered wildly when she took notice of the smile he was fighting to suppress.

“Thanks for bringing me here, Sasuke-kun,” she whispered, eventually.

Sasuke said nothing, eyes still drawn up to the glittering sky, but she could see his lips lifting again.

There was a silence, long and comfortable. Then, she felt him stiffen, and looked at him in time to see him lifting his cloak and rifling through his pocket. Before long, he turned to her, and stretched his hand out to present her with four envelopes.

“Here,” he said quietly. “These came for you this morning.”

_Letters_ , Sakura realized, mouth parting open in slight surprise. Gingerly, she accepted them, and carefully flipped through them to find the names of her respective best friends, the lazy Rukodaime, and both her parents. Her eyes became gentle, and she smiled, smoothing the letters carefully in her lap.

“Aren’t you going to read them?” he asked, brows furrowing.

Her smile grew kinder, heart swelling sweetly. “Not right now,” she said, shaking her head lightly. Feeling unbearably tingly and warm, she finally allowed herself to press her body to his side, leaning her head on his shoulder. Her belly flopped when he didn’t seem to mind this. “I’ll read them a little later when I have some light. I’d like to stay outside a little longer.”

Sasuke merely gave a hum, low and pleasant, as if satisfied with the answer. A silence took them for a few beats, still and comfortable. Then, she felt him lean his head against her own and nearly stopped breathing, heart thundering at the sound of the low, content sigh that slipped from his mouth. A pleased blush took to her cheeks, and she smiled shyly, linking her arm with his. She thought she felt him pull her closer.

For a long, long while, it was quiet. Intimate. Staring at the stars and moonlit nature, synching breaths and sharing warmth. It felt almost too perfect like this.

Then, she heard him murmur so very quietly, tone almost sad, “My father liked nights like these.”

It took everything in her not to stiffen. “Did he?” she questioned softly, careful not to let her voice shake.

“Yeah.” Sakura didn’t think she had ever heard him sound so vulnerable. “It was the only time he ever truly looked at peace.”

Her heart lurched at this, but somehow, she wasn’t surprised. She had seen Sasuke’s father once, in the family picture he so preciously kept with him. Even at first glance, it wasn’t hard to guess that he had been a stern, stoic man.

Biting her lip, Sakura gingerly asked, “Were you close to him, Sasuke-kun?”

Sasuke sighed deeply.

“No,” he said, raising his head from hers. She almost thought he was closing himself off, but the worry was dismissed as he went on, “My father and I… it was always a little bit complicated. But I… I loved him a lot, despite it all. I always wanted to make him proud, but he never seemed impressed. He always told me to be better—to be more like Itachi. For a long time I… didn’t think I was ever going to be good enough for him.”

Sakura’s throat grew tight, face contorting with anguish. This was something that had deeply pained him, once—she could hear it.

“But my mother was quick to prove me wrong. She said that he always talked about me when I wasn’t around. That he was proud of me, and everything I’d done. He loved me very much, but he just—he didn’t know how to show it.”

_Just like Sasuke-kun when it comes to the people he cares about_ , she couldn’t help thinking.

“I always wonder…” he said, then, his voice so much quieter, “…if we would have gotten closer if he’d lived. If he would have ever been able to tell me himself.”

Sakura’s heart twisted. There was so much grief masked into his tone that she couldn’t help but to push herself closer, burying her face against his shoulder. “If he loved you as much as your mother said he did, Sasuke-kun,” she said, clutching him tight, “then I’m sure he would have.”

She felt him tucking his arm nearer to himself, as if to drag her closer. “…Thank you.”

Smiling sweetly, Sakura tilted her head to look at him, meeting his quiet, appreciative gaze.

“What about your mother? What was she like, Sasuke-kun?”

His eyes eased, traces of sorrow replaced by something more tender. Turning to look at the sky once more, he murmured, “She was the best person I ever knew.”

She didn’t know how long she sat there, listening to him talk about his family. To her, it seemed as though time had stopped, as though the world faded away from them, leaving nothing but the brilliance of the stars, Sasuke’s soft, moonlit features, and the gentle cadence of his voice. To Sakura, there was nothing else that mattered more to her than to hear him open up at last, to have him unveil to her his most treasured memories; to finally, _finally_ get to hear about how very deeply Sasuke had loved his family.

And how very dearly he missed them.

“They sound amazing,” she said to him, once he was seemingly finished talking. Her eyes saddened. “It’s… It’s a shame, really, because I really would have loved to meet them someday.”

She heard him swallow.

“They would have liked you,” he said, quietly.

She looked up at him, then. “You think so?”

His eyes softened. Mutely, he nodded.

Sakura smiled, moving to lean her head against him again. Silence took over once more.

Then: “Sakura…”

Blinking, she looked up at him again, finding him looking towards the sky once more. “Hm?”

A faint smile took to his lips. “Maybe when we come back... you can introduce me.”

Her brows furrowed, at this. “Sasuke-kun?”

Mismatched eyes looked at her, so gentle and warm. And it was then, only then that she seemed to understand—

Oh. _Oh_. Her parents. He was talking about her _parents_.

Her heart jumped, skipping a few beats.

“Sasuke-kun…” she whispered, breathless. Chest bursting with profound affection, she let a smile curl to her lips, then, and murmured with all the love in her heart, “Of course. I would love to, Sasuke-kun.”

His gaze lightened, at this, shining with that warm mirth that she loved so much to see. But it wasn’t long before that look changed, fading into something that had her breath catching again.

_(she knew what it meant—she remembered it all too well from that time, all those months ago.)_

Limbs trembling and mind full of racing thoughts, she watched as Sasuke shifted to face her properly, bracing himself on his one hand before he started leaning in, just as slowly as he had that night, eyes heavy with a sentiment that sent her heart pounding in deafening rhythms. Her shaking hands rose to gently clutch at his shirt when he was near enough, her own eyes falling shut.

She practically melted against him when their lips met, blood rushing through her head with dizzying force. His mouth moved slowly, carefully, pressing with warm, lingering pressures between soft intakes of breaths, causing her fingers to quiver and her heart to quake; she tried to match him the best she could, leaning further into him as her hands clenched his clothes, cheeks painting with a furious blush when their noses bumped together. Sakura couldn’t help the goosebumps that traveled across her skin when his hand moved to unsurely grasp at her waist, inducing a light shudder.

They pulled away a moment later, and Sakura couldn’t seem to stop shaking, eyes heavy-lidded and body still buzzing from it all. It only worsened when Sasuke leaned his forehead against her own, the intimacy of the gesture nearly too much to bear.

_(it was dizzying to think about where their relationship would one day lead to. dizzying… but so gratifying.)_

She knew he wouldn’t run away this time.

.

.

.

_Sakura-chan!_

_I can’t believe you and the bastard didn’t tell me you were going to travel together! I had to learn from Sasuke in a letter, a month after you left! We all thought you were gone on a mission or something… So rude!_

_Anyway, I hope you’re having fun! I know you’re doing okay, because I know the bastard is treating you right—he loves you, after all, and with only you two on the road, he probably doesn’t try to play Mr. Tough Guy too much. Or at least, that better be the case or he’s gonna have some serious ass-kicking when he gets back! You’ll tell me if he’s an ass, right? I’ll beat him up for you, Sakura-chan! (Though you probably would do that yourself…)_

_But you know, you’ve been gone a while, and Konoha is weird without you. I know I’m not the only one who misses you. Ino can’t stop yapping my ear off about you, and this week your parents have been coming at me too! Won’t you stop by soon? They don’t believe me when I say I don’t know where you are!_

_Save your favorite teammate from trouble please? I don’t know if I can handle punches from Ino and your mom anymore…_

_Love,_

_Naruto_

_P.S. If anything happens between you and Sasuke on that trip—I’ll be the first to know… right? As your future Hokage and best friend (to you both) I reserve that privilege!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the slight delay, I had eye surgery. I was out of commission for a while.


	14. fourteen

They took to the road the next day, much to the family’s disappointment and heavy insistence in staying longer. The goodbyes were harder than Sakura had expected they would be, much to her surprise; although little time had passed since their introduction, she felt as though she had bonded so closely to them that they might as well have known each other for years.

_(“Please visit soon, sweetheart—I cannot bear the thought of us growing distant with time. You must come back when you can,” Natsumi had said, squeezing her hands around their own. “And I hope you will continue to take care of each other just as well as you have so far.”)_

Tears prickled at her eyes when they turned to trek the path leading back into the forest, but no one would ever know except Sasuke. She felt his hand fleetingly brush her own, as if to comfort, and couldn’t help but to smile at him for this, reassuring him that she was fine. The gentle gleam in his gaze told her that he knew, he just didn’t like to see her cry.

Within hours, the quiet intimacy that had dominated their travels before had returned now that they found themselves alone again. Sakura felt that it was twice in strength, no doubt intensified by the tender night they shared on the Hawanakis' front porch. She could only hope it would continue to deepen with time.

Weeks went by, and Sasuke seemed bolder in his affections somehow, discernibly growing ever more accepting of the nature of their relationship, if only little by little. Smiles came more easily, and the moments where his hand found hers appeared to grow more frequent the more time came along. Sasuke was content with her, transparently so, and there was no end to the happiness Sakura felt with this.

And then there were the kisses: impulsive brushes of his mouth to hers, each one taking her entirely by surprise, and each one entirely initiated by him; a chaste peck stolen behind a rock boulder, a light, warm caress offered within the shadows of thick trees, a tender kiss swept on her brow in the refuge of their tent.

Her heart would race with every one of them, green eyes fluttering to look at him dazedly, her skin still tingling from his touch. She’d marvel in the moment, let it settle in, before ever-so-sweetly, she’d smile, wide and sparkling, mustering in it all of the love she held for him. He could never seem to keep their gazes locked afterwards, as if embarrassed about his total loss of control over his own impulsivity, but he would always reach to twine some of his fingers with her own, if only for a few lingering seconds. Enough to let her know that it meant a great deal to him when they were like this—that he wasn’t just seeking to quell a need for physical contact.

_(and although she knew that he knew she’d never think of it this way, that touches like these always meant more to sasuke than for anyone else she’d come to know, she understood the need to reassure her, to constantly establish what she meant to him. he never wanted to leave her wondering, to fall back into this game of push and pull they had trapped themselves in when they were teenagers. she deserved to know where they stood—always.)_

Eventually, Sasuke would pull away from her, mismatched eyes full of a peculiar tenderness, and lips quirked subtly at the corners in that way that made her heart skip a beat, and they would turn back to whatever they had been doing before, the atmosphere twice as warm as it was. And every time, they would never talk about it, because they knew they didn’t need to.

_(everything always spoken in the silence, the actions, the looks—like always. this, she suspected, would likely never change.)_

“I was looking for you,” she heard him say, then, breaking her thoughts from reverie.

Looking up from her place on a lonely market’s bench, Sakura smiled, patting the spot next to her. He didn’t hesitate to take it.

“Yeah, sorry, Sasuke-kun,” she said, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “I was going to wait for you to get back so we could grab something to eat, but when I looked out the window I saw the herbalist lady from the other day. And well…” Her smile grew cheeky, and she gestured to the bag at her side, stocked full of herbs and plants that had evidently captured her interest. “You know how I get.”

He nodded. “Find anything new?”

Shaking her head, she hummed a sound of negation. “No, I don’t think so,” she said. Then, she paused, and slightly frowned. “Well, maybe? There’s this one that I’m not sure if I’ve worked with yet. I’ll have to see what Izumi-san says about it when she packs up her stand for the day. She says it should be around three.”

He blinked. “You’re going to hang out with the herbalist woman?”

Sakura’s eyes lessened, smile fading to something more apologetic. “Yeah, I promised we’d get some tea together so we could talk,” she said softly. She tilted her head, and looked at him attentively. “I hope you don’t mind, I just—it’s not every day I meet someone who knows as much about herbs as Chiyo-sama did.”

Sasuke shook his head. “Why would I mind? When I asked you to come with me, it wasn’t so you would blindly follow me everywhere, Sakura.” He paused here, and she almost let herself smile at the meaning held behind those words. Then, he went on, his voice much gentler, “You don’t have to ask for my permission when you find something you want to do.”

_I want you to be happy._

Warmth spreading to her heart, Sakura looked ahead once more and smiled, leaning on the palms of her hands. “Thanks, Sasuke-kun,” she said. “It means a lot. And I promise I’ll try to be back for dinner, all right?”

Nodding again, Sasuke stood from his seat, and shifted to face her again, slipping his hand in his pocket. “I’ll work on packing more provisions, then,” he said. “We should be able to cross into the Land of Wind tomorrow, and I’ve heard the weather’s not very travel-friendly this year. We’ll need to be prepared if we don’t want to reach Suna half-dead.”

She laughed lightly. “I’m sure we’ll manage,” she jibed, winking teasingly. “But thank you.”

With a final nod, Sasuke said, “I’ll see you in a few hours, then,” before turning on the heels of his feet and heading down the market street.

.

.

Her meeting with Izumi ended up lasting just a little over three hours, much to Sakura’s surprise. She couldn’t remember the last time she had felt so caught up in conversation about medical art where time flew by so quickly, and the mere thought had her grinning widely in the entirety of her trek back to the inn she rented with Sasuke. Much of their chat still recurring in her mind, she couldn’t help but to wonder if Tsunade-shishou and Shizune-san had already come to know of it all.

_Maybe I should write them a letter,_ she mused, tucking the old, medical volume Izumi had gifted her closer to her chest. There was a chance they already knew, but it couldn’t hurt to reach out; she missed them both a lot, lately.

Her stomach grumbled, then, and she let herself smile, giggling lightly. _I’ll write them after dinner,_ she decided, climbing up the steps of the small building and ushering inside. _And maybe Naruto as well._

“Good evening, Misaki-san!” she greeted, spotting the young secretary at the service desk. “Is Sasuke-kun in, yet?”

The sweet-eyed woman smiled shyly. “Hello, Sakura-san. He just got in about twenty minutes ago, I believe. Will you two be at the festival tonight?”

Sakura shook her head. “Actually, we can’t,” she said, offering an apologetic smile. “We’re leaving for Suna in the morning, so we’ll be having an early night.”

Misaki’s gaze lessened, as if disappointed. “We’ll be sad to see you leave us so soon. Will you come back, someday?”

“In a few months, probably. Maybe a bit more. I’ll be sure to ask Sasuke-kun, yeah?” Her voice softened then, to something kinder and more appreciative. “I don’t think he would mind. You and your father have been very kind to us.”

This seemed to please Misaki, judging by the way her eyes crinkled. “I’m glad to hear it.”

Sakura tilted her head, and smiled wider. “Well, I’m famished, so I better go. Hopefully Sasuke-kun picked something up. But you and your family have fun at the festival, okay?”

Misaki giggled and thanked her, before bidding her good night, prompting Sakura to make her way to the room she shared with Sasuke.

When she opened the door, her eyes instantly drew themselves to the shoes tucked neatly to the side. Smiling softly, she pushed a lock of hair behind her ear and toed off her own sandals.

“Sasuke-kun, I’m back!”

It only took half a moment before he arrived, nodding with his usual acknowledgment. “How was it?”

Sakura seemed to practically melt at the question. “So much fun,” she gushed. “I’ve learned a bunch today, and Izumi-san even gave me this book that I can’t wait to dive into.” She lightly jerked the weighty tome in her arms, smiling widely. “Did you know some herbs can be perfected into poisons that induce muteness and deafness for up to two months? Izumi-san said back in the day, they used it as a technique to drive their captives to spill information because they thought they’d permanently lost their functions. It didn’t always work great though, so they stopped using it.”

Sasuke’s brows raised, and he cocked his head, lips twitching lightly. “I’m sure that would work on Naruto.”

Her eyes widened. “Sasuke-kun!” she scolded, laughing lightly. “Don’t be so mean! It would be so cruel.”

Snorting, he rolled his eyes and shoved his hand into his pocket. “Don’t pretend he wasn’t the first one you thought about if you had to test this on anyone,” he said, wrinkling his nose in distaste.

No doubt, he was probably thinking about how annoying Naruto could be when he talked too much, but somehow, Sakura knew that if the opportunity ever arose, Sasuke would never even seriously think to do it. No matter how much he denied it, she knew he enjoyed Naruto’s company.

_(in some ways, naruto and sasuke were closer than she and him would likely ever be in their lifetime. naruto understood sasuke like the back of his hand, probably even knew him better than she did. even his bond with kakashi was unique. but in that same way, she and sasuke shared something that he could never find with anybody else that he was close to. they all had their grip on him, in their own ways. they all shared their different places in his heart. but, sakura knew, they were all equally important to him.)_

“Did not,” she finally replied, crossing her arms. Then, she smiled. “…It was actually that lady from the market.”

His brows raised again. “The one who sells dango every Friday and yells at all the teenagers hanging around?”

“That’s the one.”

“Tch.” Mulling his lips, Sasuke looked away and muttered, “Yeah, she wins.”

The vague annoyance to his tone had her bursting with laughter. Half of Konoha wasn’t fond of the ex-Mist shinobi that had moved to Konoha shortly after the war, but Sasuke had always expressed a particularly blatant dislike for the old crone. For someone who wasn’t overtly fond of the loud teenagers that more often than not roamed the market streets, it spoke a lot about the kind of person she was.

“I just picked up dinner by the way,” he said, slightly tilting his head towards the kitchen. “It should still be warm.”

Her stomach growled at the mention, and she tried not to blush at that. She hoped Sasuke wouldn’t notice, or that if he did, he would be kind enough not to point it out.

“Oh! Good, because I’m starving, and I was hoping you had,” she said, smiling.

There was that barely perceptible twitch to his mouth again, likely finding amusement in her embarrassment to her own hunger. Still, there was no teasing mention of it as he spoke, “Come on,” and started down the small hallway leading to their inn’s tiny kitchen. Sakura could only be grateful.

When they stepped into the room, however, she almost stopped herself short at the sight of wide array of bags.

Blinking, Sakura said, “You got a lot of provisions, Sasuke-kun.”

To her surprise, Sasuke shook his head and merely stepped forward, moving to unpack all the contents. “They’re not provisions—those are in the bedroom. This is dinner.”

Her mouth dropped. “ _What_?”

When he merely shrugged, she made her way to the table, peering into the bags with still-wide eyes. “This is… a lot of food,” she finally said, glancing at him oddly. Had he been just as starving?

Even there, this many meals seemed nonsensical; from all the contents splayed out and those she’d looked into, she’d distinguished miso soup, steamed vegetables, tempura, umeboshi onigri, sunomono, nikujaga, tonkatsu, okaka onigri… and even her favorite dessert, syrup-coated anko dumplings.

This much food would last them for days—even a full week.

Sasuke shrugged again. “It’s a gift from the man we helped out yesterday. He bumped into me when I was in the market earlier. Turns out he owns a restaurant, and he wanted to give us something to thank us for what we did for him. So he offered to cook a dinner for us.”

“A few dinners you mean,” Sakura mumbled, still marveling at the food. Everything seemed so good—especially the onigri. “I don’t think we could eat all this, even with Naruto here.”

Humming in agreement, Sasuke said, “It’ll last us for a few days then.”

_In the desert?_ she mused. She doubted it but, maybe—if they found something that could withstand the heat well enough.

“Hopefully it doesn’t spoil,” she said. “I’d hate for this to go to waste.”

“We’ll try to be careful.”

Smiling, Sakura nodded and whispered a soft thanks, before feeling her stomach grumble once more. Eager, she reached for the box of umeboshi onigri, omitting the idea of plates as she took one in hand. She was just quick enough to see a smile slipping to his mouth before it just as quickly disappeared.

“What?” she asked, feeling her cheeks flush. Had she seemed _too_ impatient?

He made a vague sound, mismatched eyes strangely full of quiet mirth that made her heart flop. “Nothing,” he said, opening a box that she distinctly suspected contained the okaka onigri, before taking one in hand. “He just wasn’t going to make those at first. I asked him to.”

That surprised her. “You did?”

His features softened. “They’re your favorite, aren’t they?”

Sakura’s mouth parted lightly, heart stumbling in its beat. How had he known that? Had Naruto told him? No, even Naruto didn’t know that. Even when they were young, she was certain she hadn’t let it slip. Nobody except her parents knew that her favorite meal consisted of nothing but umeboshi onigri.

Voice nearly all too soft, she asked him, “How did you know umeboshi was my favorite, Sasuke-kun? I never told you that.”

His gaze seemed to gain a more serious edge then, growing wearier. Almost sadder.

“…I never ignored you half as much as you thought I did when we were young, Sakura,” he murmured. “As much as I tried, I never could.”

Though she could hear the tinge of self-shame in his words, the way he berated himself for letting her believe he’d never paid special attention to her, they still had her heart swelling with incredible warmth, the revelation that perhaps his feelings had always kind of been rooted somewhere in their youth sending unconditional love swelling in her veins and pushing her to want to—

Unable to help herself, Sakura took the two steps separating them and impulsively grabbed his collar, holding him gently as she pushed herself up to her toes and kissed him. It was sudden, enough to have him stiffen and to have her cheeks flushing madly, but she kept her mouth to his anyway, moving with light, shy pressures.

The dull sound of something hitting the floor had her pulling away, blushing furiously.

“S-Sorry,” she whispered, voice shaky and heart pounding. She couldn’t bear to even try and meet his gaze after such a bold move, so she looked down instead. Belatedly, she noticed that it was the rice ball he’d been holding that had dropped to the floor. That made her heart race even harder.

When his lone hand touched her waist, then, so tentatively, she nearly trembled. They were still so new to this that it was still unsure between them, still a bit too dizzying—especially with such an undefined bond.

“…For what?” he said, then, his breath fanning against her cheek. It felt entirely too intimate, in that way that she was quickly growing to adore.

“I don’t want to push you,” she mumbled, eyes slipping shut. His breath was so warm. “I know this whole thing has just been so—slow. I just…”

His hand gripped her tighter then, breaking her thoughts and cutting her words short. “You don’t have to be sorry.”

He kissed her again before she could think about what that meant.

.

.

_Hey, Naruto!_

_I’m so sorry that I never sent a letter, or never told any of you that I was going away with Sasuke-kun. It was never my intention to leave just like that, but it was just unexpected you see. You know I’m not like that. I think shishou was mad at me, though, because her letter this morning was a bit sharp, but I don’t blame her. I must have caused so much trouble at the hospital. But I think you understand why I did what I did._

_These months have been so great though, I can hardly believe it. How long has it been since I left? Three months? More? I can’t even remember anymore. I just know that I don’t regret a single thing with this decision. Everything’s so beautiful out here, and the world is so big. There’s so much to see, so much to learn. I even met someone who knows more about poisons and ancient medical jutsu than Chiyo-sama, Tsunade-sama and Shizune-san combined! At least, I think so! I’m so thrilled!_

_Sasuke-kun and I are leaving for Suna in the morning. It’s gonna be nice to see the Kazekage-sama and Kankuro. I bet Temari misses them. Have I missed the wedding yet? I hope not. Sasuke-kun would probably be happy if he did, though. I don’t think he likes weddings. (Can you imagine him wearing a montsuki and hakamas? Hehehe! So weird!)_

_I think you’ll be glad to know he’s been treating me well since we left. Things have actually kind of been really… incredible lately. It’s so different to be traveling with him like this. He seems so happy (yes, Naruto, **happy**!) and at peace on these roads, and though I admit sometimes that worries me, I think that he’s learning to forgive himself enough to one day be just as happy and at peace in Konoha. With all my heart, I hope that he will._

_I really miss you, Naruto. And Kakashi, and shishou, and Shizune-san, and Ino-pig, and my parents! But it’s the kind of ‘I miss you’ that doesn’t hurt much, you know? I’m just so happy here. And I’m not lonely. It’s quiet and peaceful and just so amazing. It’s going to be so wonderful to be back home, but for now, just wait a little longer, okay? Please let the others know. I promise to visit soon. I’m just so, so happy being with Sasuke-kun. I think I grow to love him more and more with every day. Things are getting kind of perfect._

_With love,_

_Sakura_

.

.

.

Sasuke’s sources, as it turned out, could never have been more right when it came to the traveling conditions in the Land of Wind’s regions. Although they’d known for already half their lives that traveling to Suna was never a pleasant experience, Sakura couldn’t seem to remember the temperature having ever been quite so murderous.

The first day resulted in the pair of them suffering from heat exhaustion, while the second and third were spent trying not to dry heave into the sand. They spent their fourth traveling in much later hours of the day, but when even that resulted in miserable sweatiness, they finally decided to only carry out their journey overnight. Nighttime in the deserts were cold, sometimes freezing even, but Sakura much preferred it over the feverish heat they’d been dealing with in the days before; if she felt chilly, she only had to wrap herself in a blanket.

They slept during the day—a surprisingly easy task, even in such scorching weather—and moved in the coolness of the night, the hunt for food thankfully unneeded with their surplus of carefully conserved meals. Sakura had been glad that not much of the food had been spoiled since they had left, their strategic placements having successfully saved them from the torrid climate. But, of course, such food could only be kept for so long, even with the right care.

Fortunately, they reached Suna’s entrance just as their provisions started running low again.

“Finally,” she breathed, wiping the sweat from her brow. They’d been so eager to reach the village when they grew near it at dawn that they had taken to traveling past their usual time lapse, and Sakura was feeling the exhaustion already. “I was just starting to regret the idea of coming here. Getting to Suna has honestly never felt more miserable.”

She could see a few of the guard shinobi gesturing a few miles ahead, pointing, shading their view and turning to each other in what could only be surprise; it spoke much about how few visitors they’d had lately—if any. Sakura wondered if on foot travels to Suna were deemed too hazardous even for shinobi since these obvious temperature rises.

Catching movement from the corner of her eye, she turned to look at the man beside her, feeling her heart quicken as she watched him run his hand through his hair, a long exhale escaping from his lips. His eyes were hooded, forehead equally damp with perspiration, a clear display that fatigue was quickly getting to him as well.

They needed to get away from the sun and this heat, and soon.

“I’ve been through many deserts in these past few years,” he said, in what was almost a mumble. Sakura knew it wasn’t because of any real sleepiness. “There must have been a heatwave since then, because it’s never been like this.”

“Then we better get inside before this gets worse,” Sakura said, green eyes more solemn. “Don’t want a repeat of our first few days on our way here, do we?”

He responded with nothing but a tired nod, adjusting the strap of his bag before he stepped forward, starting his way to Suna’s main opening. She followed after him quickly, a smile pulling to her lips as a few guards started heading their way, seemingly concerned.

The smile only grew when their faces flashed with recognition, confirming her still-standing legendary stature to Suna’s inhabitants. Ever since she had saved Kankuro and defeated the renowned Akatsuki puppet-master, Sasori, she had been particularly highly regarded by the village. The admiration had only grown following her contribution in the war, especially with her part in sealing the chakra goddess, Kaguya.

It felt good to know she was still just as well-loved as before.

“Sakura-san!” a tall, dark haired shinobi greeted, lips split wide open and cheeks flushed. “We weren’t aware that you were coming! We’ll be sure to inform Kazekage-sama right away.” Smiling wider, the man gestured to the shadowed fissure serving as the village’s entrance, urging her forward in haste. “But please, come in quickly, this is no time to be out right now—the temperature is quite dangerous at this hour.”

Eyes crinkling kindly, Sakura merely agreed and let the three ninjas guide them both through the passageway, feeling her body visibly relax as they walked into the shadows and allowed the heat to waft off, soothing her senses and easing the lightheadedness of her mind. Sighing heavily, she smiled wider and stretched her limbs, before peering at Sasuke with twinkling eyes.

“Gods, it feels so nice,” she said, teasingly nudging his arm. “Right, Sasuke-kun?”

The smile slipped, however, when she noticed the strange expression marring his face, shoulders inexplicably stiff.

“Sasuke-kun?”

Seemingly shaken out of his thoughts, she watched him blink a few times before he turned to look at her, eyes losing their disquieted edge. She wondered why he seemed a bit off.

Her brows drew together softly. “Are you okay?” she asked.

Sasuke was silent for a moment, before he looked ahead again and murmured, “I’m fine.”

Somehow, she knew that wasn’t quite the truth. He was hiding something.

Perturbed by this sudden change of composure that she was sure had nothing to do with the heat, Sakura began to grow confused, nearly unable to reciprocate the smiles given by those around her as they greeted her with delight in Suna’s streets. Her thoughts became preoccupied, green eyes not quite focused.

But just as they neared the Kazekage’s tower, it was then that understanding dawned to her—it was then that she saw it. The looks.

Every shinobi looked at Sasuke like he was unwelcome, like he was the enemy. Although it had often happened for people to be quite stiff with Sasuke, this was the first time she had seen such transparent animosity directed at him.

Her heart clenched. She hadn’t felt hurt like this in a long while. 


	15. fifteen

Despite their widely startling arrival through such perilous weather, Gaara surprisingly didn’t have the time to see them right away.

He was preoccupied with rather delicate matters, Kankuro had explained to them; ones that were particularly important to resolve in these challenging times. Sakura found herself hoping that things would only go smoothly for the apparently very busy Kazekage.

Thankfully, though, they were not asked to wait for the meeting to come to terms. Instead, Kankuro promptly escorted them both to one of Suna’s finest hotels, where he granted them two suites for their own comfort.

Sakura was rendered speechless. She had never been so well-received before, and with all the quiet, resentful looks Kankuro had been throwing Sasuke since they’d arrived at the tower, she had simply expected they would have been provided with standard quarters.

Her shock must have been blatant because when Kankuro looked at her, he shook his head and drawled, “We haven’t been getting any visits from high-end leaders of the country, so nearly all our suites are open to take.” He inclined his head, then, and gave a slight smile, dark eyes softening with that gleam of appreciation she was so used to seeing from him. He never would forget her saving his life. “You’re a well-regarded and highly revered ninja here, Sakura. With everything you did for us, you can be sure that we want you to be the most comfortable you can be on your stay here.”

Ah, so the courtesy was only extended to Sasuke because they were traveling together, it seemed. She almost wanted to frown at this, but forced herself to focus on his kindness instead, her lips twisting with an amiable smile. “Thanks, Kankuro-san. We appreciate it a lot.”

The man merely nodded, making some vague waving gesture with his hand, features sobering. “Anyway,” he said, once they’d reached the stairs, “your rooms are on the top floor. We’ll send someone to get you when Gaara is ready. Just stay around ‘til then—it shouldn’t take too long.”

Handing her both keys, he gave her a good-natured, polite bow and flashed her one last faint smile, before he took his leave. Sakura didn’t miss how he purposely avoided doing the same to Sasuke when he walked past him, seemingly entirely ignoring his presence. Somehow, the fact that Kankuro was professional enough to be more subtle about whatever hostility he held towards Sasuke didn’t bring her much comfort at all.

Biting her lip, she looked up to the man she loved, finding him seemingly preoccupied with his thoughts. Clearly, the quiet anger directed at him by the vast majority of this village seemed to still be affecting him somehow.

Her lips parted, comforting words ready to slip away, but she abruptly stopped herself when she remembered how he’d reacted just a little earlier. If he didn’t want to talk about it then, he probably wouldn’t want to talk about it now. With that in mind, she slipped her mouth back shut, and swallowed. Maybe he was just tired, anyway—maybe she just worried too much.

Much to Sakura’s surprise, though, she wasn’t the one who broke the silence.

“We both have rooms,” Sasuke said, his voice holding a hint of something she couldn’t discern, but that seemed familiar somehow.

Blinking, she looked at the keys, and back to Sasuke, as if suddenly realizing this as well. “…Oh. Yeah. Is that okay? I could always go back to the reception desk to give back one roo—”

“Why wouldn’t it be?” he cut in, shoving his hand in his pocket.

The hurried reply had her brows furrowing lightly, green eyes shaded with puzzlement. “I—I don’t know…” she spoke, fingers fiddling with the strap of her bag. “It’s just… It’s been a while. Since we slept in different beds, I mean.”

Sasuke said nothing to that. Sakura couldn’t help but to find herself confused, unsure of what to say. She didn’t want to push him, especially when she suspected he might close himself off worse if she said anything wrong.

He was always so harsh on himself, she thought sadly.

And then he broke the silence again. “I’m going to take a shower,” he said, reaching his hand out in silent request for his room key. “You should too. It’s been a long road.”

She swallowed, and nodded. “Okay.” As she watched him turn, however, a thought came to mind. Hesitating, she took a step forward before reaching out to grab his cloak lightly. “Hey, um—” She tucked back a lock of hair here, and smiled gently. “Should we order some food when we’re done? I’m getting pretty hungry.”

He looked at her for one long moment, as if considering. She wondered if his bad thoughts took him back to that time when he believed he could never be good for her, where he weighed every opportunity she gave to him and contemplated whether he would allow himself a little selfishness. Or had he never stopped thinking that at all? Lately, she’d begun to think that maybe he had started accepting that he was a good man, but maybe she’d been wrong all along. Maybe he’d only allowed himself to indulge in what his heart wanted because he’d finally felt free of his burdens.

But now that he was reminded of them…

“All right,” Sasuke answered, then, snapping her from her thoughts. He looked better now, she realized, when her gaze focused on him once again. More like the calm, quietly content man he’d become, and less like the one he’d been—constantly haunted by his demons.

_(though, she quietly admitted, a part of that man would likely always exist inside of him. a part of that man would likely always take over, on some rare days, no matter how wonderful his life would become. he would likely always be susceptible to fall back in the clutches of the ghosts of his past, on his bad days.)_

“We’ll go eat after.”

She wondered if her worrying had been obvious enough to urge him to try and comfort her, in his odd, roundabout way, spurning away the ugly thoughts in his mind, if only for now. He always hated to see her so concerned about him, after all. He could never seem to stand the sight.

_(she liked to think it was because he was tired of it; tired of hurting her, of making her unsure, of having her bear the weight of his sorrow. she'd already endured too much of it in his years as a missing nin.)_

This prompted a small, warm smile to her lips. “See you in a bit, then, Sasuke-kun?”

His lips didn’t tug in that way that they usually did lately, but his eyes held that warmth that he only reserved for her, if only a little more mutedly, and for now, that was enough for Sakura.

He just needed a little space, she mused. A little time to adjust to this new atmosphere. He’d done it once when he’d begun his journey, hadn’t he?

Sasuke would be okay.

.

.

.

She hadn’t realized how much she really wanted a shower before she stepped inside the suite. Surrounded by the pristine white walls of the room and pretty ornamented flowers that made her feel as though she were clearly _not_ in the middle of a heat wave of a great desert, Sakura felt herself becoming decidedly, painfully aware of the dried mix of sweat and sand matted to her skin, and the greasiness of her hair. If she was going to let herself feel even a little bit like royalty for the next few days, a wash was definitely much needed.

Nodding to herself, she placed her bags by the foot of the bed and set out to do just that.

Half an hour later, Sakura came out of the spacious bathroom feeling much fresher and clear of mind. More aware of herself, she took her time to marvel at the openness of her suite as she busied herself with drying her hair, unblinking green eyes wide with wonderment. It seemed at least three times the size of the standard rooms she was so used to having on her stay to Suna, if not more. She wondered if perhaps hotel suites were designed to seem more like apartments than actual hotel rooms, for the sole purpose of making its occupant feel more comfortable.

Or maybe it was simply to make them feel pampered.

_No failure there,_ Sakura thought to herself, smiling as she reveled in admiration of the ambiance. She hung the towel on the hook against the back of the bathroom door, and padded to her previously abandoned bags with every intention of unpacking her things.

When that was done, she sighed and propped her hands to her hips, eying the room again. It was so quiet, she couldn’t help but to notice. Too quiet, really.

“So big,” she mumbled.

Before long, she found herself growing particularly uneasy; her hands fell, and her gaze lessened. Wrapping her arms around her middle, she bit the inside of her cheek. Sakura couldn’t understand why she felt like this. Maybe it had only been too long since she’d experienced true silence.

Shaking the unsettling thoughts from her head, she ran a hand through her hair and wondered what Sasuke was up to now. Probably long done with his shower, she suspected, but maybe he wanted to have a little time alone after everything that happened. He was well aware they’d made plans for dinner; he’d come knocking when he was ready, she was sure.

So instead, Sakura settled on taking the opportunity to write a long-overdue letter to her parents, and if she had the time, one to Ino as well.

.

.

She didn’t know how much time passed before Sasuke showed up at her door; Sakura was halfway through her letter to Ino before she heard the knock.

She left to answer without preamble. “Hey, Sasuke-kun,” she greeted as she opened the door, smile to her lips. She moved aside in invitation. “I was beginning to wonder if you’d ever show up.”

That wasn’t really true—she always knew he would. But with his earlier frame of mind, and the way they left each other, Sakura kind of felt like teasing him a little in the hopes of lightening his heart.

With the way his lips quirked, she knew he understood.

“Sorry,” he said. “Not too starving?”

She laughed, and gestured him inside. “Just about! Come on, let’s order something from room service.”

Nodding, Sasuke stepped into her room and toed off his boots. She wasn’t surprised when he languidly started looking around.

“Any different from yours?” she asked, trying her best to mask the concern to her tone. Part of her wondered if perhaps Kankuro had been bitter enough to give Sasuke a dysfunctional room.

Sasuke’s eyes met hers. His gaze seemed almost light. “Not really.” He shrugged. “Just that you have a walk-in closet.”

“You don’t?”

“No, but mine has a porch.”

Her mouth parted, eyes widening just so. “Really?”

His lips quirked again. “Why so surprised?”

“I’m—I’m not,” she lied, fighting to suppress the blush she felt coming. “That’s great, Sasuke-kun.”

Sasuke merely hummed in reply, shoving his hand in his pocket. He looked around once more, gaze drawn to a painting in particular. Sakura took the moment to fetch the phone and menu on stand-by, sitting by the bed as she dialed the front desk and watched the love of her life stride around her suite.

The receptionist’s voice snapped her from her loving daze. “Takudome reception, this is Sae speaking. How may I help you?”

“Hello, Sae-san, this is Sakura Haruno from the main suite. Could I order food at this time?”

“Yes, of course, Sakura-san!” Sae replied, seemingly more cheerful than she was a moment before. “What would you like us to bring up?”

Sakura smiled. “Ah, well, Sasuke-kun and I are quite hungry so the list is going to be a bit plentiful…”

Sasuke turned to look at her then, brow rising, and she had to keep herself from giggling, shushing him with a batting wave all too humorously.

He merely rolled his eyes, huffing a small, amused sound.

It seemed a little time to himself was all he really needed to once more come back to the content man she’d become so used to spending time with these days.

.

.

“Ah, Sakura,” Gaara greeted, once they’d finally stepped inside his office that night. He inclined his head politely. “Always a pleasure to see you.”

The warm welcome had her eyes crinkling. Giving a respectful bow, Sakura smiled at Gaara, bright and sweet, taking in the slight changes of the man before her. His hair was longer now, and unrulier than she remembered, the lines of his face sharper and more defined. It had been so long since she had seen him; the last time they had talked had been not long after the war—and how long ago was that? Three years?

It felt so nice to be in his presence again, after all this time. Gaara had always treated her so kindly following his years of dark bloodlust—in part to repent for nearly killing her, she suspected—and even moreso since that day she’d saved his older brother’s life. She had always considered him a good friend.

“Hello, Kazekage-sama,” she replied, smiling wider.

The Kazekage’s bright blue-green eyes softened. “Just Gaara is fine,” he assured, lips curling just so. “Do I have to give you permission every time?”

She gave a light giggle. “Sorry,” Sakura said, clasping her hands behind her back. She winked teasingly. “It’s a habit. Are you well, Gaara?”

“Well enough.”

She saw his eyes shift to the man at her side, then, and suddenly, her heartbeat quickened, palms growing a little sweaty. It was ridiculous to be so nervous, but she couldn’t help it. Sakura had to remind herself of Gaara’s own dark past to coax herself into calming down; he had once been caught in a world of blood and pain, long ago. Surely, Gaara would sympathize with Sasuke.

She bit her lip anxiously.

“Sasuke,” the Kazekage acknowledged, finally. His features were calm and smooth, revealing nothing of his thoughts. He observed Sasuke carefully. “You look… different.”

Now that caught her off guard.

_Different?_ Sakura queried to herself. _What did that mean?_

She didn’t have to wonder for long, because Gaara went on, tone still serious, “I’m glad to see your eyes have finally changed.”

_They’re no longer full of hatred_ , she knew he meant.

Something churned in her stomach at this. When was the last time Gaara saw him? she wondered, frowning. Sasuke’s eyes hadn’t been so full of hate since nearly three years ago, not long after the war ended. Hadn’t Sasuke been in Suna during his journey of redemption before? She remembered he had a mission once, sometime in the past year.

“The rest of your people don’t seem to think so,” Sasuke said, then, breaking her from her thoughts. His voice was steady, passive, but Sakura wondered if she imagined the hint of bitterness to his tone.

It made her heart ache all the same.

_(none of them knew how hard sasuke was trying to make things right.)_

“Right, so I’ve heard,” Gaara replied, giving a solemn nod. “I cannot control what my village thinks, or what my brother thinks for that matter, but you can’t exactly blame them either with everything that’s happened.” He paused, then said, voice much lower, “Your state of mind has always been known to be quite… unstable.”

_Oh, no._ Sakura’s green eyes instantly flew in Sasuke’s direction, worriedly noting the way his jaw clenched, shoulders stiffening rigidly; Sasuke had clearly not liked Gaara’s choice of word.

Without thinking, she reached for him, surreptitiously grazing her hand against his and allowing her fingers to just barely hold onto his own for the slightest moment. She pulled away quickly after that, reluctant to disclose their tentative relationship at such a stage, but was relieved when Sasuke seemed to relax.

When she looked back, though, Sakura found that she had evidently not been discreet enough, as Gaara clearly hadn’t missed the gentle exchange. His bright eyes slowly shifted back and forth between the two of them, pensive. She wondered what he had in mind.

_(perhaps he was considering how close they seemed, what kind of relationship they shared; or perhaps he was considering something more: how maybe she played an important part in sasuke’s gradual change of heart. how maybe falling in love is what changed him.)_

Sakura’s cheeks grew warm.

“You’re definitely not the man we all once feared,” Gaara declared, then. Folding his hands, he looked at them coolly, driving an air of professionalism that prompted wariness in her. “But to be fair, our last encounter hasn’t slipped my mind either. Though I want to believe you are a wholly changed man, I cannot be allowed to place my complete trust in you when the protection of my village falls at my hands,” he explains.

She felt her stomach drop, sensing where this was going.

“We will accommodate you, and we will not restrict you, Sasuke Uchiha. But don’t be surprised if you find yourself monitored. Sakura’s presence at your side will be comforting for some, but not for most.”

Sakura stepped forward before she could help herself. “No—That’s—” Trying to manage a promising smile, she lifted her hand against her heart. “You don’t need to concern yourself with that, Gaara… I promise, Sasuke-kun would never—”

A calloused hand gently touching her arm caused her words to fall short. Throat growing tight, she peered up and met the sight of Sasuke staring down at her, mismatched eyes soft, but chiding. “Sakura, don’t,” he murmured. “He has the right to be wary.”

He sounded almost tired.

_(from the blame, from the endless reminder of his sins; from constant apologies and repentance, from his image never changing in the eyes of unforgiving people.)_

Sakura’s jaw clenched. Reminded all too painfully of the times she and Naruto fought the elders on such similar terms, she vehemently shook her head. “But it’s not _fair_ ,” she said, so quietly, hoping he wouldn’t notice the traces of anguish to her tone. She looked up at him with sad, sad eyes. “You’re not the same as you were, Sasuke-kun. You would never hurt anyone now.”

“I understand that, Sakura,” she heard Gaara say, carefully. When she turned to look at him, his gaze was gentle. “But shinobi everywhere around the world have not taken kindly to Sasuke betraying his comrades once more at the end of the war. We value the bonds we share with one another too much. It is what the country’s protection relies on. Sasuke has betrayed that trust one too many times, and this village is one that takes a hard time forgetting that. I, myself, cannot allow too much leniency.”

Because he had a village to protect.

She understood that. She couldn’t be mad at him for that.

Sakura swallowed tightly. “I—I’m sorry, Gaara. I understand.”

And she did. But it still hurt.

_(no one ever trusted them on the goodness of sasuke’s heart.)_

Lightly, warm fingers brushed against her own. Nearly jumping, her green eyes quickly shot up to look at Sasuke.

But he wasn’t looking at her—no doubt in efforts to arouse less attention to his comforting gesture.

“You’ve been generous enough,” Sasuke said to Gaara. His fingers brushed her own again, and she had to refrain from stretching out to twine their fingers entirely. “I’m grateful for your civility.”

“Not just civility, Sasuke,” Gaara replied, his voice now cordial and gracious. More like the friend Sakura knew him to be, and less like the cautious Kazekage he had been trying to be since he’d laid eyes on Sasuke tonight. “I trust Naruto’s judgement more than anyone else’s. He’s always had high hopes for you—Sakura, too, for that matter. They see something not many others do, and I’m sure some day much of the rest of the country will share those feelings.” He paused, and bowed his head a little. “As will I.”

The words had her heart warming immensely. She was so glad Gaara had made an effort to be encouraging, despite his responsibilities as the Kazekage.

She knew Sasuke shared those same thoughts as she looked up at him, finding his features softened, holding tinges of vulnerability and… something else she couldn’t quite figure out. He was touched that despite not being able to place his complete trust on the words of his most esteemed person, Gaara was still kind enough to offer support; to give him a vision of a better future to look up to—because he believed in him if Naruto did.

She wondered if that was how he felt with the Hawanakis, when they started accepting him so wholly. And with every other person after that who didn’t always treat him like the criminal he had been.

Sakura watched his mouth part, seemingly hesitating. After a moment, Sasuke merely nodded. “Perhaps,” he said, voice quiet.

Understandably, he was still reluctant to believe in a future where the whole world would forgive him—but it still made her want to reach out and touch him again, to offer confident encouragement and beaming smiles.

Instead, Sakura subdued her affections and bowed her head to the Kazekage in earnest gratitude. “Thank you, Gaara. We appreciate this more than you know.”

Sasuke stayed silent.

.

.

They retreated back to their rooms after the meeting was over, too tired to stay up any longer. Sasuke never said anything on their way back, and Sakura tried not to overthink it. He was probably too exhausted to fight against the bad thoughts in his mind, she reasoned. Yes, that had to be it.

At least he’d bid her goodnight at her door instead of wordlessly retreating to his quarters, as he could have. At least he was still trying.

Sighing, Sakura twisted and turned in the sheets of her too-big bed, and tried to let herself think about something else. About Suna; the hospital, the greenhouse. Perhaps tomorrow she could visit them both and spend a little time there—maybe even bring the old tome Izumi had gifted her. It had been so long since she’d visited the staff she’d taken the time to train in between missions. She hoped they were doing well, and leaving their own memorable mark somehow. Maybe they’d even passed her knowledge along.

Sighing again, Sakura shifted on her back and splayed her limbs out, frowning at the abundance of extra space. It didn’t feel right, somehow, to be alone in such a large bed. She felt awkward and cold, and almost lonely, really.

How long had it been since she had a room to herself? She’d shared a bed with Sasuke for at least a year now, if she counted their time in Konoha. Sleeping next to Sasuke’s body was something she had become used to—and something that she’d grown fonder of every day. Without his warmth beside her, something simply seemed… lacking.

She wondered if Sasuke felt the same, right now.

_Of course he does,_ her mind whispered. Just because he felt a little more distant since their arrival, and was more tormented than usual—it didn’t mean Sasuke’s feelings had changed.

He was just trying to take care of himself, right now. To be better.

_(for her. for himself. for everyone.)_

Uttering a tired sound, Sakura pushed the thoughts away and curled into the covers, pulling them closer. Somehow, without Sasuke here, she knew sleep would be a long time away. 


	16. sixteen

“You really did it? You opened up a clinic in Konoha for children affected by the war?”

Smiling, Sakura clasped the letters to her lap, and nodded. “I did. After it all ended, there were just so many children that ended up in the hospital. Some because they were orphaned, and others because they were dealing with conditions like post-traumatic stress… But nobody could ever deal with them properly—we never had the right people, or the right resources. I had to do something.”

“That’s—Wow, Sakura-san!” the young civilian man exclaimed. A blush clearly painted his cheeks. “You really are amazing!”

“Ah, thank you,” she said, flattered by the adoration. She’d always had quite a few admirers in Suna; it was something that she had become quite accustomed to, and something that she didn’t mind—as long as they never made any advances.

Even after all these years, she had never grown comfortable with rejecting anyone—after all, she knew best how much it hurt. Tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, she only hoped the coy bird handler would abstain from any flustering love confessions and stuttered out date proposals.

The man smiled wider, then. “You must have come here to send those letters, right?”

“Yes—would that be possible? I know your hawks are trained to endure the desert’s rigid temperature, but with this recent heatwave…”

The young bird handler waved her off, and gestured for her scrolls. “Oh, that’s no problem. The birds have all been fine since it started.” He smiled again when she handed him the rolled parchments, and Sakura had the distinct feeling that maybe he was trying to be flirtatious. She hoped she was wrong. “Are these letters of importance, Sakura-san?”

She shook her head politely. “Merely simple letters to friends and family,” she replied, her smile amiable. “They don’t need to be rushed or sealed.”

“All right, well, you can leave them with me then. I’ll make sure they’re sent right away.”

“Perfect,” Sakura said, bowing her head lightly in thanks. Then, she reached out to grab the money pouch at her hip. “How much do I owe you?”

“Nothing—just the chance to take you on a date, sometime, maybe?”

Her fingers froze in the unfastening of the laces tightening the small sack. Swallowing hard, she peered over to the man and offered a most apologetic look. “I’m sorry. I appreciate the offer—I really do,” she said, so softly. “But… there’s someone else that I love.”

At the way his face fell lightly, her lips curled in a contrite smile. “I’m very sorry,” she said again.

The man forced a smile, before waving her away. “Ah, don’t be—the heart feels what it feels and wants what it wants, and no one should ever have to apologize for that. I’m only grateful you were kind in your rejection, Sakura-san.” His smile widened at that, but Sakura was relieved to realize it looked more genuine, now. “I still won’t accept any payment, though. You’ve done so much for this village.”

Her eyes softened.

_(it never ceased to amaze her how grateful the people of suna continued to be when it came to her.)_

“Thank you,” she murmured kindly. Then, she paused a little. Had he ever told her his name? She couldn’t remember. “Um…”

A laugh erupted from the bird handler’s mouth. “Murai,” he finished for her, grinning. “But don’t worry about it—I never did introduce myself properly. You have a nice evening, okay, Sakura-san?”

Smile tipping to her lips once more, Sakura nodded and bid Murai a friendly goodbye, before finally taking her leave.

Inklings of guilt rolled in her stomach as she walked through the halls of Suna’s aviary; she always had been too empathetic to the disappointment and dejection her suitors no doubt carried with them after she let them down. But, she reasoned, Murai had taken it well, and he likely wouldn’t be too sad, so there was no reason for her to feel so guilty. And like he’d said: no one should ever feel bad for where their heart stood.

Nodding, Sakura forced herself to drive those feelings away, and pushed open the front doors of the building. She sighed as warm air greeted her. In the past two days, Suna’s weather had been much more enjoyable than it first was when she and Sasuke had arrived all but eight days ago. Sakura was glad for it. Perhaps the heatwave was ending, she mused.

Just as she started heading down the stairs, however, the sight of two very familiar shinobi had her stiffening. Mouth falling open slowly, Sakura took a moment to stare, green eyes unblinking, before a barrage of pure giddiness barreled through her. She took off running towards them instantly.

“Kiba! Shino!” she exclaimed, waving, laughing, a wide grin spread to her lips. Her grin only grew when they turned towards her, brows shooting up. Quite clearly, they hadn’t been aware she was in Suna. “What are you guys doing here!”

Kiba was the first to shake out of his stupor. Lips splitting into a grin, he waved all too enthusiastically and began to trot her way. “Yo, Sakura! Funny running into you here,” he said as he finally reached her, shoving his hands in his pockets. His grin didn’t fade in the slightest.

“It’s been a while, Sakura,” Shino followed casually, nodding as he took to his teammate’s side again. “You look very well.”

Warmth bubbling through her, Sakura smiled wider. “Thank you, so do both of you!” she said, briefly noting the changes to their figures. She wondered if she also looked a little older, a little more grown. Her heart jump with delight—she’d really missed her friends so much. “I just—I can’t believe I’ve run into you like this! What are you doing here?”

Kiba moved to throw his arms behind his head, then. “Intel mission,” he explained, shrugging a bit. His grin became just a little more ferocious. “There’s been suspicion of shady business with possible rogues on the borders. I’d say more but you know, _confidentiality_.” He rolled his eyes here, and the familiarity of the act almost had her laughing again.

“Of course,” she said, smiling. Her eyes crinkled. “I won’t ask for more—I know the drill. But mission aside… do you think you would have time for an old friend?” She offered them a hopeful stare to compliment her plead, clasping her hands to her lap.

Kiba didn’t even spare Shino a glance—he stepped towards her, grabbed her shoulder, and promptly started guiding her towards the street booths, evidently set on finding them all a table. This had her grinning all over again. “You kidding? Of course we have time for you!” he exclaimed. He squeezed her shoulder, pulling her close in half a hug. “We’ve all been dying to know what you’ve been up to!”

At his words, her heart burst with warmth for the second time that day; it felt good, she couldn’t help but to think, to be reminded that people in Konoha missed her just as much as she missed them.

.

.

“Ino is dating _Sai_?” Sakura repeated incredulously. “ _Sai_ , who has to study books on social interaction and use them because he doesn’t really understand how bonds work at all? _Sai_ , who still thinks calling me ‘ugly’ is supposed to bring us closer because his nickname for me is supposedly an endearment? _That_ Sai?”

Kiba smirked. “The one and only,” he said, pouring sake into three separate glasses.

Her jaw dropped an inch more.

“No way!” she exclaimed, then, slapping a hand to her mouth to hide the stupidly pleased smile growing there. When Kiba pushed a cup her way, she wordlessly accepted it. “You’re kidding me!”

“It is true,” Shino affirmed, reaching for his own drink. “I believe they started officially dating four months ago.”

“Four months! You’re telling me Sai and Ino have been together for _four_ _months_!” Sakura laughed. She couldn’t imagine how those two ended up together in the first place, or how her best friend could have possibly stayed with someone so awkward for so long. Although she’d known of Ino’s ongoing crush for quite a while now, and how she and Sai had been spending quite some time together since the war, she never would have thought her friend would have pursued the chase upon finding out Sai’s true, unusual nature. From what she could remember, Ino had always gone for handsome, confident guys holding strong character… not cute, strange ones with stunted social skills.

Maybe Pig had finally grown up a little, she thought fondly.

“Yeah, and you should see how they work,” Kiba went on, shaking his head. “It’s a funny thing to watch Sai trying to figure out all this relationship stuff. Ino’s surprisingly tolerant, though.” He snorted. “You’d think with how picky she was when she was dating me, she would have dropped his clueless ass a long time ago.”

The touch of sullenness to his voice made her grow sympathetic. Patting his shoulder gently, Sakura smiled at him in the hopes to offer some comfort. She remembered well how crazy the two were about each other when they dated for quite some time after the war. Evidently, Kiba still held some unresolved feelings about it all.

He seemingly shook out of his semi-nostalgic gaze at her touch. “Anyway,” he said, yawning and stretching his limbs in an obvious attempt to brush off the subject. He turned to his attention to the drink he had yet to touch. “Where’s Sasuke anyhow? Wasn’t he supposed to be with you?”

That had her pausing a little bit, smile fading. Her mind shifted back to the events of this morning, when she’d asked him if he wanted to keep her company while she wandered about the village. Sasuke had said he was too tired to; he wanted to try and catch some sleep, if he could. Sakura believed him—he had truly looked exhausted, then.

It worried her how Sasuke always looked a little more tired every day. He obviously wasn’t sleeping well—if at all. Sakura doubted it was her absence alone to blame. Maybe he was having nightmares again, she reflected. Or maybe he was getting sick.

She made a note to herself to find out.

“He’s… busy,” she finally settled on telling them, the smile to her lips a little forced. She hoped they wouldn’t notice. “Things have just been a little off since we got here, so Sasuke-kun’s a bit, um—”

“Oh,” Shino spoke then, absent rudeness. “Hello, Sasuke.”

Sakura nearly fell out of her chair because she turned so fast.

Mismatched eyes met hers, and she almost blushed. “S-Sasuke-kun!” she uttered, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “Hey.”

Kiba followed quickly with his greeting. “Yo, Sasuke!” he called. “Been a while, hasn’t it?”

She watched as Sasuke nodded at them both, in his usual gesture of acknowledgement offered to everyone else but the people he was close to, and nearly smiled. Had he gotten any sleep? she wondered. Taking the slight opportunity to look him over, Sakura contemplated his form.

He didn’t seem to have gotten any type of shut eye since this morning, she noted sadly.

Unsurprisingly, Kiba was quick in pointing that out. “Damn,” he said, whistling lowly. “You know, you look _awful_. When was the last time you slept?”

Sasuke fixed him with a flat look. “Since Sakura and I got to Suna,” he replied, shoving his hand in his pocket. His eyes swiftly flickered over to her form, and her heart quickened slightly.

“Suna’s people have not been welcoming, then,” Shino said. He nodded like it all made sense. “Understandable.”

Sakura didn’t miss how Sasuke’s eyes narrowed at that.

“Right,” Kiba supplied, apparently of the same mind as Shino. She watched as he sipped his glass of sake, turned in his seat, and glanced outside their booth, brows furrowing. “Bit of an overkill, though, don’t you think?” He seemed to wave something away, then, before shifting to look at Sasuke with a frown. “Does Gaara know you’re being tailed?”

Sasuke’s lips tightened, and Sakura swallowed.

“Yes,” he answered simply. He didn’t care to elaborate as he took the seat beside hers, ordering a drink of his own.

Sakura took it upon herself to do it instead. “It’s part of the conditions of his stay,” she started, playing lightly with the rim of her glass. “Gaara is just… trying to be careful. He doesn’t actually think Sasuke will do anything, but he’s just…”

“Carrying on his duties as the Kazekage,” Shino went on for her, nodding once more. “Given Sasuke’s past, he doesn’t exactly have a choice. I would have done the same.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Sasuke’s hand ball into a fist. Instinctively, she tried to cover up the tension by clearing her throat and laughing a little. “Yeah, well, you know—like Kiba said: it’s a bit of an overkill.”

Kiba smiled at her at this, and patted her back. Then, he turned back to his drink, and briefly glanced at his watch after taking a long sip. Sakura watched as he looked away, paused, then did a double take.

“Oh crap,” he muttered, frowning at his watch. He gave Shino a nudge and offered him a look at the time, brows creasing as his teammate nodded. “I feel bad for this, but we’ve gotta go. We’re late for our meeting with Gaara—we were supposed to have reported to him thirteen minutes ago.”

Sakura blinked. “Oh,” she said, heart falling a little bit. She hoped her disappointment wasn’t obvious. “Will we see you two again?”

“Not sure,” Kiba replied distractedly, fishing out a few ryōs from his pocket. He casually threw them on the counter, and thanked the barman, before turning to them again. “But we’ll keep an eye out for you both if we can afford it, okay?” he said, gesturing them in salute.

Shino took the moment to stand and pull his travel bag to his shoulder. “We’ll ask Gaara where you’re staying if we need to find you,” he supplied. He nodded at them both in silent farewell. “But if we can’t see you again, then I wish you safe travels.”

“Yeah, and pass by Konoha if you’re nearby, all right?” Kiba called, gathering his own bag. He was grinning.

Sakura couldn’t help but to smile back. “Of course,” she said. She offered the pair of them well-mannered bows, and waved. “I hope everything goes smoothly on your mission.”

“Yeah, thanks! See ya!”

As they walked away, Sakura watched them both for a while, smile fading lightly. She had hoped she would’ve had a little more time with them to catch up on everything; yet still, even now, she held no regrets in taking Sasuke’s offer to travel at his side. Half-distant as he seemed these days, it didn’t change the fact that their relationship had grown tremendously since their departure from Konoha.

Smile taking fully to her lips once more, she finally turned to Sasuke and propped her head on her hand. “You know he’s right though, don’t you?” she said softly. “You really do look terrible. Did you not get any sleep at all since this morning?”

Sighing slowly, Sasuke shook his head, and ran his hand through his hair. “I tried. Didn’t take.”

Her eyes softened. “If it’s sleeping pills you need, I can see if I can get them from the hospital for you—only if you want to, that is.”

Peering at her, he stared for a moment, before giving a reluctant nod.

Her smile took a more reassuring edge. “And hey, I’ll give you a checkup too,” she said, putting a hand to his shoulder. She squeezed gently. “The chances are slim, but maybe you’re coming down with something. It’s probably best to cover all the bases, right?”

Sasuke sighed again, more deeply this time. He nodded. “Thanks,” he murmured.

Sakura only smiled wider.

.

.

The rest of the evening went by swiftly after that. After they’d finished their drinks, they went out in search of a dinner booth to get something to eat, inclined to finally quell their hunger. They settled for a semi-private restaurant somewhere off the main road, where pretty lights ornamented every table, easily promoting a romantic mood. Sakura tried to ignore it, thinking to herself that surely in a state like this, taking her out on a date was one of the last things on his mind. He’d likely only been looking for a place where less people hung around.

Still, it didn’t keep her from fantasizing a little.

_(especially when in the end, sasuke, as per usual lately, persisted in paying for everything.)_

It was a nice dinner, she concluded when they left; one which held little more than no conversation due to Sasuke’s total lack of energy—but still nice all the same. Maybe they could have a proper date here, one day, she thought.

“Thanks for dinner, Sasuke-kun… and the drinks at the bar,” she said, just as they were making their way back to the main road. “But you really don’t have to keep paying my share, you know.”

Humming, Sasuke merely shrugged in response, keeping his heavy gaze ahead. “I know,” he said.

He looked worn out, she couldn’t help but to note for yet another time today. She hoped he would get his rest soon. Although he’d already tried and failed, it likely wouldn’t be too long now before his body would force him to pass out. She wondered if he’d be going back to his suite soon.

Sakura decided to ask. “Will you be going back to the hotel now?”

She watched as Sasuke paused in his step, seemingly caught off guard, before resuming their pace once more, eyes catching her own. “Will you?” he inquired instead, like the answer he’d delayed to give depended entirely on her own.

She blinked. Did he want to spend more time with her?

“Ah, well, no,” she settled on saying, trying hard not to dwell on the thought just now. “I was going to head out to the greenhouse for a bit to see how my old students have fared since my last time here. Then I thought I’d drop by the hospital to see if I could get you those sleeping pills I said I’d try to get for you.”

Nodding, Sasuke simply put a stop to their tracks and turned to look at her. “I’ll come with you, then,” he offered, sounding every bit as tired he looked.

It was the only thing that made her hesitate.

“Are you sure?” she asked, brows furrowing lightly. “I mean—you look exhausted, Sasuke-kun. I think you should really try and get some sleep instead—”

“I’ll go with you,” he insisted, mismatched eyes fixing on her resolutely. “It’s what you wanted this morning, isn’t it?”

Her mouth parted at that. She almost blushed. “Well, yes, but… I don’t want you to push yourself, Sasuke-kun. And this might take a while…”

“I don’t mind.”

Sakura paused, then. For a few moments, she looked at him, taking in the exhaustion displayed through his every feature and the slight slouch of his posture—but through it all, the sparks of longing. Determination.

Maybe he was trying to make up for being a little distant, lately.

Her eyes softened. “Well… okay, then,” she said, smiling gently. “But if you get too tired, don’t try and tough it out all right? I want you to promise me you’ll go back when you’ve hit your limit.”

“I’ve had worse,” Sasuke said, shrugging.

Refraining the urge to grin, she shook her head. “Sasuke-kun, _promise_ me.”

A small, soft sigh left his lips. “ _Fine_ ,” he replied.

Sakura laughed a bit. “All right, well, let’s go then!”

Still smiling, she started down the road again, steering their path towards their new destination. Eyes crinkling, she listened to the sound of Sasuke’s acquiescing hum and his padding feet, before feeling her heart fluttering warmly as he finally fell into step beside her, mismatched gaze still ever-fixed ahead of them.

Lightly, his hand brushed her own. Unsure of whether it was intentional or not, Sakura withheld the urge to reach back, merely smiling even wider. She was thankful that he chose to spend time with her like this, despite his state and everything he’d been going through. Sasuke always chose to deal with his demons on his own, isolating himself from everyone else until he’d finally won the battle. It spoke to great lengths to her how now, even as he fought against his darkness, he chose to ward off the usual reflex to push her away, instead making efforts to keep their bond growing—to keep her close.

He had grown so much since the war, she realized.

She hoped Sasuke knew that, too.

.

.

Their visit to the greenhouse was short-lived, in the end. Despite her best efforts, Sakura could not seem to ignore Sasuke’s overtired state during their stay, always anxiously stealing glances to assess his condition as they strolled around the large glass building and listened to her ex-students talk. Sasuke never appeared particularly bothered, but she couldn’t help but worry anyway. They left after no more than an hour since their initial arrival.

_(and sasuke never questioned why, because he knew already—he knew he was the reason, the cause. she could see it on his face how much it bothered him, how much he blamed himself. how much he hated that he made her so anxious that she ended up not being able to properly enjoy something she loved.)_

They made their way to the hospital mutely, with nothing but the sound of footsteps between them; whether his fatigue or his guilt was to blame, she didn’t know. She hoped it was simply the former—Suna had brought enough distance and tense silences between them, lately.

“I’ll go ahead and see if I can get your sleeping pills now, okay?” she said as they finally reached the tall, rounded building. Under a dimly lit lamppost, she turned and looked up at him, offering a kind smile. “I know you don’t like hospitals, so you can wait out here until I get back. I’ll only be a few minutes.”

In return, Sasuke simply nodded at her, slipping his hand into his pocket. Lingering for a moment, she smiled a little wider before turning away and starting towards the stark white hospital doors. Once inside, she made quick work of the reception and narrow halls, presenting genuine apologies to the adoring staff and patients that tried to engage in conversation with her. There was someone important that she needed to take care of, she always tried to explain, and she could not afford to waste any time while he waited on her.

Thankfully, none of her admirers had difficulty understanding, allowing her to continue her path absent objections. She was glad that most of Suna’s inhabitants held her with such high regard; their respect for her work was too great to truly keep her from helping another soul in need.

Less than fifteen minutes later, she had what she needed. Mindful of her promise to be back quickly, she made her way out of the hospital halls in hurried strides, a faint smile to her lips. The smile immediately faded, however, as she stepped outside the main entrance and spotted a lone shinobi standing all too imperiously before Sasuke, seemingly talking to him—the latter of which stood rigidly still, jaw clenched tight.

Something didn’t feel right; Sakura could smell trouble.

Her instinct only proved to be right when Sasuke suddenly snapped forward, lunging towards the man with a swift, ferocious punch to his jaw, a furious sneer slipping to his lips. The hit was violent enough to send the older shinobi flying across the sand, wind momentarily knocked out of him. Sakura took off running in an instant, wide eyes catching flickers of the ANBU fast interfering in the fight, experienced hands locking Sasuke in place.

Sasuke, whom she realized as she finally reached them, was struggling against the ANBU’s hold in an attempt to get to the Lightning shinobi already recovering on the ground.

_(she hadn’t seen Sasuke this livid in **years**.)_

What had happened in the few minutes she was gone?

“Tche,” the now-disheveled man huffed, blood-soaked lips splitting with a smirk. Her hands fisted tightly at the sight. “I knew it. You’re still the same damn Uchiha scum you’ve always been. The boss will be glad to hear about _that_ one.”

At that, Sakura’s brows furrowed, mouth parting lightly. Boss? Could he mean the Raikage? she mused, frowning deeper. She hoped he wasn’t talking about the Lightning daimyō himself. If this shinobi delivered the news to _him_ , that meant far greater trouble could be in sight for Sasuke—like the possibility that prohibition of entry to the whole of Lightning country could be added to his profile.

Spitting out red, the man gathered himself to his feet, and wiped at the mess beneath his likely-broken nose. “Just so you know now, you don’t fool _everyone_ with your redemption road shit,” he declared proudly.

The very words had her heart bursting with fire in the next instant. “What is your _problem_?” Sakura growled, finally stepping in. “If it’s trouble you’re looking for, go look for it somewhere else! Treating visitors like this—I doubt the Kazekage would be very happy to hear about how Lightning country treats his other shinobi allies.”

Her threat was clear, unconcealed, but the shinobi didn’t seem to care.

“I did him a favor anyway,” he replied, voice every bit as arrogant as he looked. “I’ve made that bastard show his true colors again, so that everyone can remember the violent trash that he is. The _lunatic_ is gonna snap someday—and the sooner everyone realizes that, the better.”

Eyes narrowing in a vicious stare, Sakura fisted her hands again, her warning clear. “Beat it,” she said, voice hard. “Or else that punch won’t be the only one thrown at you tonight.”

It wasn’t a wise choice to menace someone so openly in front of a squad of ANBUs, but Sakura wasn’t worried; with the way the man had been antagonizing her and Sasuke, she doubted anyone would truly reprimand them.

Throwing her an unimpressed look, the Lightning shinobi merely scoffed, wiping at his nose again. “Us Lightning folk never forget true criminals, Sakura-san, remember that,” he said. Then, he turned, and finally walked away, ignoring an ANBU soldier’s suggestion to stop by the hospital and take care of his injury.

Exhaling a soft sigh, Sakura let her shoulders fall again, relieved that the situation could finally be put to rest. The sentiment didn’t last, however, as she heard the sound of shuffling behind her and turned, finding the ANBU squad working to bind Sasuke’s single wrist to his back with chakra locking strings, clearly intent on arresting him.

Her mouth parted, and her eyes widened, feet nearly tangling in her steps as she instantly moved to put a halt to this injustice. “Wait—what are you _doing_!” she exclaimed, outraged. Reaching to tug Sasuke’s form away from the masked shinobi, she tried to yank off the offensive restraints. “He was the one who provoked Sasuke-kun, not the other way around!”

When two of them stepped forward to retrieve Sasuke, she prepared herself to yank him back some more—only to stop as another raised his hand, signaling the others to halt.

The leading captain, she presumed.

“Provoked or not, Sakura-san, he should know better than to assault someone,” the shinobi explained calmly, the tone of his voice nothing but practiced apathy. “The Kazekage-sama made it very clear that this kind of behavior would not be tolerated in any manner. Sasuke Uchiha is a dangerous shinobi, and we will not allow him—”

A furious heat sparked at the word _dangerous_ , sending Sakura bristling. “He is _not_ dangerous!” she retorted sharply, face flushing deeply. “This is ridiculous!”

Why were they so harsh on him? she couldn’t help but to think, throat tight. Ever since their arrival, Sasuke had been nothing but wholly compliant to their demands, always ready to lend a hand to anyone who was in need. Sakura could not understand how after all their time here, the guards still held so much mistrust for him.

“He cannot be trusted. You must understand that with everything he’s done in the past, we cannot tolerate him attacking another—”

“That man _provoked_ him and you all saw it! I can’t believe that you’re actually trying to argue that—”

A new, familiar voice cut in, then, snatching all of their attention. “What’s happening here?”

Her heart nearly burst in relief. Kankuro, she acquiesced, letting out a swift, quiet breath.

Shifting on her feet, she watched him approach the scene, strangely reassured by the deep frown to his lips. Although he held a strong dislike for Sasuke, she had learned throughout the past week that Kankuro was just as reasonable as his brother, treating Sasuke fairly, and with borderline politeness, no longer throwing glares and disapproving looks his way. Where he’d first been cynical and prone to ignoring Sasuke’s presence soon after their arrival, he was now tolerant and only still somewhat wary, clearly influenced by the good deeds he’d witnessed and Gaara’s ever-growing confidence in the ex-nukenin.

If anyone could help to convince the ANBU guards that Sasuke’s actions were not uncalled for, right now, it was certainly Kankuro.

“Kankuro-sama,” the leading captain spoke, bowing respectfully to him. “I’m glad you’re here. I’d like to inform you that this man just assaulted a shinobi of Lightning country, and broke his nose. We believe he intended to do much more, and intervened as quickly as we could. We planned to bring him in to the Kazekage-sama for proper punishment.”

“Assaulted?” Kankuro replied, raising a brow. Somehow, his surprised warmed her heart. She watched as he glanced at Sasuke, then directed his attention to the captain once more. “Was he unprovoked?” he asked.

_(thank the gods he asked, she couldn’t help thinking.)_

“It is unclear—”

“ _Provoked_!” Sakura snapped, throwing a furious glare to the ANBU captain. The nerve of him! “That man was looking to cause problems, going out of his way to antagonize Sasuke-kun and get him to lash out. I don’t know what he said to him, but I know that it takes _a lot_ to get Sasuke-kun this upset. You have to believe me, Kankuro-san, he was looking to get Sasuke-kun in trouble. He even said so himself.”

There was a pause, where Kankuro observed her for a minute, gaze serious, before shifting his gaze to his troops, and then Sasuke, before landing back on her. After a moment, his eyes softened slightly, as if he’d found something that finally solidified his decision.

_(maybe her boundless honesty, or their deep, long-shared respect; or maybe it was simply her faith in the man she so ardently loved, her infinite belief that he would never go back to who he once was)_

“Undo his restraints, and let him go,” Kankuro ordered, gesturing to the ANBU captain for his compliance.

“But sir—”

His dark eyes hardened. “This isn’t a request,” he repeated. His tone was firm, authoritative, leaving no questions to be asked. “Undo his restraints now.”

The captain’s hands curled into fists, but he nodded anyway. “Yes, sir,” he said, bowing. Signaling the others to withdraw, they moved to free Sasuke of the chakra locking strings before taking their leave, disappearing into the dark.

For the second time that night, Sakura breathed out a sigh, tension easing away and lessening the stiffness of her shoulders. Bowing lightly to Kankuro, she offered him a small, grateful smile. “Thank you, Kankuro-san.”

Shrugging, Kankuro nodded at her once more, eyes flickering momentarily Sasuke’s way.

“Don’t thank me yet. Word is gonna get around to Gaara soon, and he might not have much of a choice when it comes down to it. If the captain reports concern for the safety of our people, his hands are gonna be tied—you might be asked to leave Suna in the morning.”

Swallowing, Sakura twined her fingers in the material of her clothes. “We understand,” she said.

Shoving his hands in his pockets, Kankuro let out a slow breath again, tilting his head towards Sasuke. “And Sasuke?” he called, voice laced with something that made her a bit uncomfortable. “Get your shit together, won’t you? Your unstable temper is the reason that got you into this mess in the first place.”

His only response was a fierce, savage glare that Sakura knew didn’t stem entirely from the anger incited by his words. Undoubtedly, Sasuke was still furious about what happened with the Lightning nin.

Waving Kankuro goodbye, Sakura watched the man walk away for a moment, before turning to the one at her side when she was certain they had regained their privacy.

“Sasuke-kun,” she began tentatively, reaching to touch his arm. “What happened? What did that—”

Sasuke jerked himself away just as soon as her fingers touched his skin, causing her throat to tighten. “I don’t want to talk about it,” he muttered, quiet but brisk, like a violent storm trying to be contained.

It tore a wave of hurt right through her. “Sasuke-kun,” she tried again, moving to stand in front of him, to see if she could calm him, “I only want to—”

“I _don’t_ want to _talk_ about it,” he snapped, lightly brushing past her in a way that felt so callous, so cold.

Crestfallen, and heart breaking, Sakura merely stood there and watched the love of her life walk away, wondering to herself what that Lightning nin could have possibly said to Sasuke to make him this upset.

_(and hoping, from the very bottom of her heart, that Sasuke learned enough from his past to know that nothing good ever came out of pushing her away; that he would only heal if he started letting her inside in these times. that he couldn’t keep dealing with his darkness on his own.)_

.

.

She didn’t get back to the hotel before a while later, that night. Worried and stressed, but ever full of faith, Sakura had only hoped that the opportunity to walk home alone and spend some time on his own would be enough to give Sasuke the space he needed to breathe—to allow himself to shake off his bad thoughts. It wasn’t something she liked doing when she considered their past, but when he was as livid as he had seemed to be earlier, Sakura wasn’t sure there could have been any other option. She would have made things worse if she’d pushed him to talk.

Sighing, Sakura shook her head, absentmindedly delving for her room key once she arrived to the penthouse hallway. Fiddling with the teethed ends, she instinctively reached to unlock her door when she neared it, before pausing as her eyes flickered to Sasuke’s.

The sleeping pills, she realized. She hadn’t gotten the chance to give them to him, yet.

Biting her lip, Sakura considered for a moment, before pulling away from her suite door and walking over to his own. She touched the handle lightly.

“Sasuke-kun?” she called, voice careful and soft, filled with the hope of a response.

When there was none, she let her hand fall away, exhaling a long breath. Leaning her forehead against the hardwood, she closed her eyes.

“I don’t want to bother you,” she said, then. “I know you’re upset right now, and you probably want to be alone for a little while longer. And I know you said you don’t want to talk, but I just… I wanted to know you were okay.” Silence met her in return. She swallowed hard. “Okay. I’m sorry. I’ll leave the sleeping pills by the door for you, okay? Get some rest, Sasuke-kun. And when you’re—if you ever need to talk, I’m here. I’m always here.”

Silence… again. Her heart tightened in response. Pushing herself away from the wooden door, Sakura tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, and reached to rub her arm. Her gaze remained softened, narrowed. She sighed quietly; she had done all that she could do, right now. The rest was up to him.

“Goodnight, Sasuke-kun,” she murmured kindly, before finally retreating to her room.

.

.

Hours later, as she was curled up in bed and just about ready to doze off, there was a knock to her door.

Curious, and a little woozy, Sakura gave a yawn and stretched out her arms wide, before slowly slipping out of the warm sheets and climbing down the mattress, calling out a lighthearted acknowledgement to her visitor. It was probably an old student of hers or a nurse from the hospital, she thought, pushing herself to her feet. A small smile growing to her lips, she hurried down the hall to answer the inquiry.

It faded with surprise, however, as she opened the door and found Sasuke standing there, body slouched and clothes considerably rumpled, his lone hand stretched out to support his weight against the entry frame. Spent to his very bone, he looked every bit as guilt-ridden as she’d ever seen him be, she couldn’t help but to note sadly.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, before any word of greeting or question could leave her softly parted mouth. His voice was heavy, rough, almost hoarse in sound. He couldn’t even look at her, half-lidded eyes fixed ruefully to the white wall of her large room.

_(it pained her, to see him this way.)_

Reaching out to touch his bad shoulder, Sakura pushed him upright a little, and gave a comforting squeeze, looking at him worriedly. She couldn’t bear to see him so hurt anymore. “Sasuke-kun,” she whispered, tilting her head, “the pills haven’t been working either, have they? Maybe you need something stronger because of all those drugs you took in Sound… I can see if maybe the hospital would allow me for a stronger prescrip—”

Sasuke stepped forward then, and caught his hand to her waist, causing her to gasp as his whole weight suddenly braced itself against her, nearly making her stumble. She felt herself redden as his head lolled heavily against her shoulder, warm breaths puffing out through the material of her nightshirt.

“ _Sakura_ ,” he insisted, gripping her tighter. He sounded so vehement, so regretful—needing to be heard. “I’m _sorry_.”

Sakura couldn’t help but to let her eyes slip closed at this, throat tightening unbearably. She swallowed hard, slipping her free hand into his thick hair. “Don’t apologize for being upset, Sasuke-kun…” she whispered, twining her fingers through his locks gently.

“I was a jerk to you,” he mumbled, lips moving against her clothes in a way that was almost ticklish. “It wasn’t right how I acted with you. You didn’t deserve that.”

It was clear in the way that he spoke that he hated himself for what he did, that he’d spent the better of the past few hours berating himself for hurting her once more. Sakura felt her heart tighten at the thought; she knew how adamant Sasuke was in never repeating his mistakes since the war—in never again allowing himself to hurt her as deeply as he once did.

“It’s okay,” she breathed, holding him closer. “I get it—I know things have been a rough here for you. I’m just… I’m just glad that you came to me, Sasuke-kun. I’m glad you didn’t just push me away like you used to.”

She felt his fingers press down harder, mouth constricting, before his arm suddenly moved to wrap around her, hugging her tight. “I’m sorry,” he said again, quieter, but less hoarse. Resigned. “I’m sorry.”

Mouth grimacing, she couldn’t help but to throw her arms around him for this, hugging him just as firmly as he did. “I forgive you, Sasuke-kun…” she whispered.

Sasuke sighed at this, long and wearied and conquered, pushing his face to her neck. She held him more lovingly for it, nudging her nose to his hair and curling her fingers into his clothes. For a while, they stayed locked in a silent embrace, synching breaths and sharing heat. It wasn’t the first time they’d held each other, but Sakura felt like there was something different about this time: it felt more intimate, more vulnerable. Heavier with the emotions that he always tried so hard to keep inside.

_(splaying himself wide open, his too-tattered heart offered in trust to her warm, soothing little hands—too tired to fight on his own anymore.)_

How far they had come since the war, since his first betrayal, she found herself thinking.

“Are you okay?” she asked, eventually, pulling away to look at him. Green, green eyes fixed on him so earnestly, she cupped his cheeks in her hands with all the tenderness in the world. His half-lidded eyes slipped shut softly in response.

“M’all right,” he mumbled, leaning into her touch. “Just… tired.”

Understatement of the year, Sakura mused, swallowing.

“…Are you having nightmares again, Sasuke-kun?”

He sighed again, just as slow and tiredly as he had earlier. That was a yes.

Sakura felt herself worry all the more. “You haven’t had them in a while…”

His eyes slipped open again, then, and he stared at her for a moment, gaze flickering over the features of her face—as if thinking.

Then: “I sleep better when I’m with you.”

Her mouth parted at this, eyes widening significantly. Had she heard right? That—that was so forward, she thought, feeling a blush rise, fighting stubbornly to taint her cheeks. For what seemed like the first time in her life, she found she truly didn’t know what to say.

Luckily, Sasuke didn’t look like he expected her to.

“Can I stay?” he asked, voice so soft, so tentative; unsure of whether or not he was overstepping. He evidently didn’t know if she felt comfortable letting them get back to how they were when he’d just broken her heart once more.

Gods, she loved this man.

Smiling tenderly, Sakura’s eyes crinkled, thumb brushing the skin of his cheek. “Of course you can,” she replied, mustering in her tone all the warmth and profound affection that she held inside; that she held only for him.

_(she’d missed him too, after all.)_

Sasuke’s gaze lightened, visible relief washing over him. Sakura smiled wider, letting her hand fall away to grab at his own. Holding on firmly, she guided him back to her once too-big bed and moved to slip in between the sheets, before giving him an encouraging tug to follow in her stead, eyes meeting his almost bashfully.

Her heart skipped a beat when he yielded without fight, mismatched eyes kind and gentle as he slid in as smoothly as the night, taking his rightful place to her side. Gods how good it felt to have him back in her bed, to feel the weight of his body pressing so familiarly on the same mattress, to see his face across from hers. The heat of him, so comforting and thrilling, sending her stomach bubbling in exhilarating ways.

_(things were finally back to how they were supposed to be.)_

But then his arm reached out, and her breath caught in her throat, heart pounding deafeningly fast as he moved to drag her more closely against his form, pushing her face to his chest and holding her tight. For a moment, Sakura was stunned, mind simply blanked from the earnest affection, warmth rushing furiously to her cheeks. Was Sasuke even aware that he’d reached out to her like this? Or was he simply too tired, too muddle-minded to fight back against his impulses, against the fact that he’d missed her, too?

The dizzying rush of feelings faded quickly, however as she felt him exhale a long, distinctly content sigh against her hair, pushing his nose to the crown of her head. No, she mused, smiling lightly, heart nearly bursting with the intensity of her love, Sasuke clearly knew what he was doing.

There was no end to the happiness she felt knowing that.

_(after all, how long had she dreamed that he’d hold her like this? so tightly in his arms, so closely to his heart? she could feel everything, everything, everything, and gods if it was so much better than anything she’d imagined.)_

“Sasuke-kun…” she whispered, closing her eyes and tucking her hands gently against his chest. She nuzzled him shyly. “…You’re a good man, you know that? I know you are.”

His arm tightened around her, bunching in the material of her nightshirt. “…Thank you,” he mumbled, lips moving faintly against her hair.

Sakura fell asleep smiling.


	17. seventeen

“He didn’t have a choice, you know that, right?” she said to him the next day, as they exited Suna’s only entrance, travel bags fully packed. At least they’d been allowed to stock up on reserves before being forced to leave. “Please don’t blame Gaara, Sasuke-kun. He did his best to work with the situation that he was presented with.”

“I know,” Sasuke replied, but his brows were still heavily furrowed, lips thinned out and tight.

It made her swallow. Mustering up a smile, she went on with forced cheeriness, “At least the weather’s toned down since we got here, right? We’ll be able to travel much faster like this. It shouldn’t take too long for us to reach Ishigakure.”

“Yeah,” he said, but he still sounded disgruntled, distracted.

Sakura bit her lip. Fiddling with the strap of her bag, she slowed her steps to a halt, reaching to grab the sleeve of his missing arm. Sasuke turned to look at her for that, raising a quizzical brow. She tightened her grip nervously.

“Are you still blaming yourself, Sasuke-kun?” she questioned, her gaze so tentative as it held his. “For what happened last night?”

When he didn’t answer, mismatched eyes darting away, she took it as a yes. Her heart fell a little bit.

“It wasn’t your fault,” she murmured. “You didn’t ask for that to happen, and you certainly didn’t go looking for it, either—not like _he_ did. None of it was your fault.”

Sasuke still didn’t want to look at her. “I shouldn’t have attacked him,” he said, so simply, like none of this mess would have happened if he’d only kept his anger under control.

The mere implication sent her throat growing tight. “You were _upset_ , Sasuke-kun, everyone could see that—”

“That doesn’t give me permission to go around punching people,” Sasuke abruptly cut in, a sharp, frustrated breath leaving him.

He wasn’t really angry at Gaara at all, she realized, free hand curling to her chest. He was only ever angry at himself.

The thought had her swallowing tightly once more. “But you _don’t_ , Sasuke-kun,” she said, tugging at his sleeve to try and get him to look at her again. He didn’t. “Not anymore. I’ve seen how much you changed—I’ve seen how much you’ve _grown_ since the war. When we first got to Suna, everyone here wasn’t afraid to show their distrust towards you—but you didn’t lash out. And you know why?” She stepped towards him then, and he finally seemed to allow himself to look at her, lips mulling at whatever expression he seemed to find in her features. She put a hand to his cheek. “Because you _knew_ you were better than that. You knew you weren’t that man anymore.” Her gaze softened, then. “And they realized that, too. With every day you spent here, you earned the trust of many of the villagers—You proved them wrong.”

It was Sasuke’s turn to swallow, then. “…Not everyone.”

The thought of the Lightning ninja had her grip tightening around his sleeve, jaw clenching. “ _He_ doesn’t count,” she immediately went to press, her tone firm and persistent. Desperate to convince. “He was the one who—”

“I know that,” Sasuke interjected, a bit too sharply. His eyes slipped shut tightly afterwards, as if realizing this. He took a slow breath to try and calm himself down. “But,” he said, eyes drifting open again, “I shouldn’t have lost my temper like that.”

_I’m better than that_ , she could hear. _Or… I thought I was, anyway._

Her heart tightened against her chest. “You can’t blame yourself, Sasuke-kun…” she whispered, taking her hand down from his cheek. “It’s obvious nobody ever antagonized you like that before. And I don’t know what he said, Sasuke-kun, and if you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine, but he—I’ve seen all kinds of insults and looks throws at you before, but they’ve never gotten through to you like he did last night.” She paused slightly, before going on, “That tells me that what he said… he was more than just out of line. He was cruel.”

_Am I right?_ she thought, her green, green eyes looking at him so carefully.

She knew she was when he swallowed again, gently tugging her other hand away from his sleeve

“Let’s get going,” he said, then, turning to start forward. His lone hand was clenched tightly, conveying his still lingering sullenness, but it was evident he didn’t really want to carry on the rest of the conversation right now—and that was okay. “We should be able to cover a third of the distance before it gets dark.”

Respectful of his need for space, Sakura merely nodded, acquiescing with ease. “Okay. Let’s go.”

.

.

It was on their second night of travels that he finally decided to pick the subject back up again.

“Do you want to know what he said to me?” he asked as he was sitting by their small campfire, poking idly at the ashes.

_(he couldn’t seem to look at her again, clearly taken by too much vulnerability.)_

The question took her so off guard that she could do nothing but to blink, for a moment, staring at him with wide eyes. Her stunned silence made him sigh slowly.

“The Lightning nin,” Sasuke clarified. “That night in Suna.”

Oh, she thought, mouth parting. She swallowed hard. “Well I don’t—Sasuke-kun, I don’t actually really _need_ to know. I know it really hurt you, and if you don’t feel comfortable, you don’t have to—”

“He told me that my family deserved every bit of what it got,” he said, causing her words to fall short. The sudden revelation made her breath hitch, gaze catching the way his mouth tightened, mismatched eyes staring so fiercely at the burning flames. But it wasn’t just fury that lived inside his heart—there was grief, too. “That my brother was a coward and that I should have died with them… so that the Uchiha name could finally be buried and forgotten like it deserved to be.”

He paused, and his grip tightened on the thick branch, so much that she heard it crack. Sakura’s chest tightened again, the urge to reach out and touch him almost unbearable—but she didn’t want to overstep in a moment like this.

_(though he’d always responded well to her comforting touches lately, it was always different when the unjust massacre of his clan was brought up, when his brother’s name was cursed upon. he was always a little more emotionally volatile when it came to them, and she didn’t want to send him running.)_

But then Sasuke went on, “And that _you_ were blind to who I truly was. That I must have enjoyed tainting you all these years—enjoyed pushing you away, breaking your heart, shoving you down.” A grimace passed his lips, his eyes sliding shut tight. Her own eyes started to well up with tears at the sight. It tore her apart how vilified he noticeably felt about it all. “…And that one day, when I flip again… you’ll be my first kill. And I’ll—I’ll be sick enough to… _do_ things your corpse after you’ll be dead.”

A sound left her instantly at that, anguished and horrified and upset for his sake; she didn’t even think about what she was doing, throwing her arms around him desperately, her face burying against his bad arm.

_(hoping to encompass his pain, to absorb his sorrow—or at least, to let him know that he wasn’t wrong for the way he felt at all.)_

“You would never, Sasuke-kun. Gods, I know you would _never_ ,” she told him, heart filled with so much misery, so much love. She held him closer. “That man is a hateful, _vile_ bastard, and he deserved exactly what he got.”

The world was still, and silent for a short while. Then she felt his shoulders finally drop, his only hand reaching to tightly grasp one of her own. He pressed his nose to the crown of her hair, jaw discernibly taut.

She squeezed his hand harder. “Don’t ever let anyone make you believe that you are anything less than a good man, Sasuke-kun. _Please_. You’ve worked so hard to get here.”

Exhaling a long, heavy sigh, Sasuke finally seemed to relax, and pressed the faintest kiss against her hair. “I’ll try.”

.

.

.

It was a few hours into the next morning before they finally arrived to the borders of Ishigakure. Standing atop a jagged cliff, the two of them stood by each other’s side, gazes drawn towards the village cradled safely at the base of the largest mountain in view, surrounded by the lushest vegetation. Beneath them, a lonely river of the clearest blue made its course, winding in fluid curves around slabs of fallen boulders and between the scarce few palm trees around, before melding entirely within the rapids of a wide waterfall. A few others scattered themselves in the surroundings, generating a gentle mist extending over the atmosphere in an almost dreamlike veil, providing a soft cover to the houses and buildings of the already well-hidden town.

Sakura felt almost breathless at the sight; she’d never before seen such life covering the expanse of a land in this way. She found it almost hard to believe a place like this could even exist between the great desert that was the Wind country and the strangely just as deserted rocky country that was the land of Earth.

Nature was a strange thing, she mused, eyes crinkling kindly.

Turning to Sasuke, she went to share the thought, but her parted mouth only slipped back shut when she found him in a similar state of wonderment, if only expressed with a little more subtlety. Only he could still seem graceful even when he was amazed, she thought, nearly overcome with the urge to giggle. She only smiled instead, turning back to the view ahead.

They remained silent, for a while; admiring, shoulders and hands touching.

_(it was almost painful not to reach for him.)_

Then, Sasuke shifted towards her and said, with a vague tilt of his mouth, “This isn’t how I remember the academy describing Ishi.”

Sakura’s brows shot upwards, and she laughed. “Right? It’s like the whole village has been revamped since then.” Looking back at the village, she smiled. “But then again… maybe that’s what they wanted us to think: that this place wasn’t anything special. Maybe they wanted us to find out. Like stumbling upon a diamond in a coal mine.”

Sasuke made a sound at that like he found the thought ridiculous, but when her gaze set on him again, his features were only soft; always admiring her kindness, her hopeful heart. She almost wanted to blush.

“I think they just messed up,” he supplied, tilting his chin up. “Wouldn’t be the first time the system failed us.”

Like it failed his family, she couldn’t help but to reflect, but quickly urged the thought away.

_(there would be time to fix that one day—just not now, not here.)_

Her smile faded slightly. “Well, in any case,” she said, nudging him, “I’m glad we came to this place.”

“Hm.”

She felt his lone hand brush hers again, quickening her heartbeat. But she wasn’t surprised when he didn’t reach for her, recent events having obviously taken him a few steps back. He would just need a little more time to get back to how they were, she knew.

“We should probably get going,” Sakura offered after a moment, readjusting her travel bag on her back. “To get ourselves an inn and grab a proper breakfast.”

Sasuke only nodded at that, taking one last lingering look at the scene ahead before he stepped back, eyes setting on her expectantly. She smiled at him, before stealing one last look herself, and then carrying on.

They made their way across awkwardly formed rock bridges and paths afterwards, grabbing shortcuts as they went. To any civilian or ill-trained genin, it would have likely been more than a little dangerous, but for the pair of them, the route was nothing if not easy. Quickly enough, they arrived to the nearest entrance of the village, breaths steady and sound.

Much to their expectations, the welcome they received was no less different than the one they had in Suna. If only just harboring less reverent love for her, they still regarded her with respect and amiable warmth, while with Sasuke, he was only thrown the same disapproving looks, the same wall of wariness and distrust. Some even regarded him with genuine terror, pulling their children closer to themselves—as if frightened that Sasuke would ever dare to lay hand on them.

It made her wonder what kind of stories must have traveled around the countries; what kind of falsities he was accused of, what kind of persona they all thought him to have because of them. The real Sasuke—the Sasuke she knew of—was likely much different from the Sasuke they’d fashioned through what they’d heard.

Peering discreetly at the man at her side, Sakura was only glad to find that he didn’t seem as bothered as he had been in Suna; his eyes were creased, and his mouth slightly thinned out—but generally, Sasuke seemed to be dealing with the silent dislike fairly well. Something in her swelled at this.

_(even if he was perhaps pretending for the sake of trying to make himself believe it… because that was still a step forward.)_

Together they walked through the semi-crowded streets of Ishigakure, ignoring the few whispers around them and avoiding hostile stares, pointing out options of inns when they passed by. They only stopped when they found one to both of their liking: small, but seemingly comfortable, positioned somewhere on a quieter street, where the buildings where more spaced out. Sasuke always liked more private inns, and Sakura always liked the smaller, homier ones; they were pleased with it.

And much to their satisfaction, there proved to be no difficulty into purchasing a room.

_(though, sakura suspected, the owner had maybe overpriced them—but it was much better than being thrown out.)_

Shock only came to them as they thanked the middle-aged man and started their way towards their shared room, hearing him mutter through gritted teeth, “Fucking Uchiha scum.”

Beside her, Sasuke flinched abruptly; his jaw went taut and his eyes snapped wide. Alarmed, Sakura simply reached to slip her fingers through his own, giving a firm squeeze. The gesture seemed to have him pause, the tension in his body easing noticeably for a moment, before he finally appeared to give in, hand tightening around hers in kind.

He kept his firm hold on her the whole way back to their room—even as they stepped through the threshold. She expected him to release her when she moved to put down her travel bag on the tatami floorboards, but found herself surprised when he didn’t seem to have any intent of doing that in the near future.

“Sasuke-k—”

He tugged against her hand sharply, tugging her against his chest with a gasp, and before she knew it, his mouth had slipped over hers, kissing her slowly, sweetly. The gesture had her staggered for a few breaths, but soon enough, her body found itself relaxing, having grown evermore used to his unexpected affections. Gingerly, Sakura kissed him back, sliding her free hand at the back of his neck with quiet reverence, eyes slipping shut.

After a lingering moment, he finally released his hold on her to snake his arm around her waist, pulling her closer. She almost wanted to sigh against him, heart fluttering prettily against her chest as a pleasant warmth pooled in her belly. She really loved to be with him like this.

When he pulled back, a giddy smile fought itself to her lips, but he only caught her off guard once more when he leaned in and captured her lips with his own again, kissing her a little more languidly. Half a noise slipped from her, but she let herself get lost in his embrace again, her free hand finding purchase at the back of his shirt.

It went on like this for a while, slow kiss after slow kiss after slow kiss; Sasuke seemed intent on drawing out this moment with her for as long as he could. Sakura was shaking when they finally pulled back for good, breaths slightly off and cheeks flushed red. She could feel his labored breath as well, lone hand clenched tightly into her clothes.

He’d never kissed her like this before.

_(there had been a few soft, chaste, drawn-out kisses before—but never like this. never so deliberate and long, never so… repetitively.)_

Sakura swallowed tightly.

“Give them some time to warm up,” she said, at last, when she’d finally caught enough of herself to think. They didn’t need to talk about what just happened; she’d already long understood why.

_(he was thankful for her; for her love, her support, her belief. thankful because he needed it—especially now.)_

Sighing, Sasuke simply nodded, and pushed his face into her throat. After few long seconds, he finally pulled away from her, ridding her of his too-welcoming warmth at last. She almost shuddered at the loss. Was the room this cold before?

“We should start unpacking,” he said, shrugging his travel sack down. “Then we can go out to town when we’re finished. Get some food.”

Smoothing down her hair, Sakura acquiesced and followed his lead. “Maybe we could go visit the docks after. Go fishing? We could try to keep out of people’s way for now.”

Sasuke nodded again. “All right. We’ll do that.”


	18. eighteen

Fishing, Sakura realized as they arrived to the docks later that day, was no longer a viable option as it turned out; with every pair of eyes locked with great disdain on Sasuke’s form, she highly doubted that either of them would be able to find anyone willing to rent their boat or lend them a ride.

Perhaps on more familiar grounds, none of that would have really mattered, but Ishi was new territory to them both, and Sakura didn’t want to risk having them end up somewhere they were not permitted—whether that be on sacred lands or private property. And unwelcome as they were—or, well, _Sasuke_ really—they already needed to try and stay out of trouble as it was.

The docks _were_ quite old, however, as Sasuke made it a point to have her notice, testing a not-so-sturdy expanse of the harbour. Looking ahead at a group of children playing not too far away, he watched them laugh and stomp carelessly, and frowned.

“Maybe we should look into getting this fixed,” he said, looking at her with discernible concern.

That made her smile. “I’m sure the village would appreciate that,” she replied softly, warmth and loving pride swimming in her heart. Slandered as he was, Sasuke really did want nothing but the best for the innocent people of this world.

_(although at home, she knew, he still struggled with his past—with accepting the people of konoha were truly innocent to the tragedy of his clan. he still resented them a bit somehow, still held them responsible for holding happiness his family should have had. but, she also knew, he would only need a little more time.)_

Sasuke must have sensed her train of thought, though, because his gaze lightened then, flickering with what she could only say was self-fulfilment. The knowledge made her smile widen.

Contently, they went on with their quiet perusing, steering clear of too-mistrustful villagers out of simple respect. They murmured conversation and suggestions of potential projects, and admired their surroundings all the same. Fortunately, none of the villagers seemed like they wanted to start any trouble either, leaving them at peace just as well.

Their intent not to approach anyone only found itself discarded when an old fisherman unexpectedly stumbled over a broken plank and lost balance of his fishing barrels, sending the lot of them careening to the floor, contents spilling out over the docks. Helpless fish flopped and wiggled desperately, struggling to make their way into water, and the older man cursed his luck, scrambling to gather them back into his containers. Neither Sasuke or Sakura could resist coming to his aid.

“I don’t need your help,” the man said to them as they both crouched down and began their assist, his voice rough and clearly disgruntled. A most unhappy frown reigned over his lips.

Though he clearly didn’t like Sasuke, Sakura suspected this man was likely not very people-friendly in general.

“We know,” Sasuke said, “but we didn’t want to just stand by uselessly while watching you pick all of this up on your own. You’d be losing more fish that way.”

As if on cue, one of them successfully flopped back into the water and swiftly swam away, inciting a grumble from the man.

“Fine,” he groused, and finally allowed them to lend a hand.

He grumbled incoherent things a they worked, but Sakura didn’t think it had anything to do with them at all. Probably cursing his luck again, she mused.

“Thanks,” the fisherman grunted when they were finished, looking them both over as he wiped his hands on a semi-clean rag. He took a moment to pause, lips mulling slightly, before throwing the rag at them to allow them to do the same. As they did, he put his hands on his hips. “You,” he called, jutting his chin out Sasuke’s way with a frown, “You’re that Uchiha boy, aren’t you? With the dead clan and all.”

Quite blunt isn’t he? Sakura thought, brows furrowing with concern. That wasn’t really any way to strike up a conversation with a stranger.

Thankfully, Sasuke didn’t seem to let it get to him. “I am,” he replied simply, tone flat and revealing nothing. He threw the cloth back when they were done.

The fisherman made a sound like an acknowledging hum, brows furrowing a bit, before he said, “Ninjas use to whisper about you a whole lot around here, for the first year or so after the war. But you don’t seem half too bad to me.”

“I’m not the same as I was.”

“Hmph.” A smirk tipped at the man’s lips. “Yeah, I guess not,” he replied. His eyes flickered up then, and he jerked his head indicatively. “They’ll take a lot more convincing, though.”

Blinking, Sakura shifted herself to whatever direction he was urging them to, and saw Sasuke do the same in her peripheral, eyes setting ahead on a line of ninjas looking down at them warily. Probably jounin, she thought, brows furrowing as some of them reeled back with disgust. They were probably trying to gauge their level of threat—just like Suna’s ANBU squad did.

The sight stirred some frustration into her, no matter how much she understood the reason for their distrust. She longed for the day Sasuke’s presence would no longer seem so threatening to these allied villages.

“I’m not here to convince anybody,” Sasuke said, then, drawing her from thought. “I’m here to atone for my sins. It’ll be up to them to decide to trust me or not.”

Sakura’s heart fluttered at this; it made her so proud to hear that from him.

The man hummed again at that. He looked a bit skeptical. “Right. Well, good luck with that, young man. I’d avoid them for now, though.”

Sasuke nodded. “Noted.”

Eager to break the slightly gloomy atmosphere, Sakura piped in, “Any recommended sights to visit?”

The man watched her smile, seemingly a bit thrown off by her bright optimism, before making a senseless sort of wave, pointing somewhere behind the cliff side. “There’s a road that way that leads to some caves underneath the waterfalls. They’ve got some crystal pools and all. Pretty popular sites for the tourists, but we ain’t got many this time of year. There’s a good spot that overlooks everything somewhere down there—you can find the opening by the one with the orange lighting. Worth giving a shot.”

Eyes gleaming merrily, Sakura turned to Sasuke with a hopeful smile. “That sounds nice, right?”

Mutely, Sasuke only nodded. “Thanks,” he said to the fisherman.

The man nodded back. “Get back before it gets dark, though. They close it off at night—the caves become too dark and we’ve gotten too many people miss stepping and falling in already. Or knocking their skulls too hard.” He paused, and shrugged. “You might be ninjas but... still.”

Maybe he wasn’t much of a people person, but he was still thoughtful, Sakura couldn’t help but to think. Her heart warmed at this. “We’ll make sure to get back by then,” she promised. She gave a polite bow, and smiled kindly. “Thank you so much.”

“Least I can do for your help.”

.

.

They explored the cave with leisured curiosity, taking their time to immerse themselves in the beauty mother nature had taken hundreds of years to create. Although not exactly uncommon to come by, such places were usually reserved for the touristic civilians of this world, the ninja life holding far too much restriction on these kinds of indulgences out of mere obligation to duty. After all, who had time to gawk at crystal pools when they were too busy trying to protect the world from erupting into war?

Well, that wasn’t really true. Most ninjas _could_ afford to take time off for a few weeks and travel to awe-inspiring places, if they wanted to—but most chose not to with the pressure of their responsibilities at hand. They were too needed, too relied on by the system—too shorthanded, even. Abandoning one’s duties to sightsee the world was not exactly greatly looked upon in their carefully disciplined community.

This was why, at times, Sakura found herself envying the civilian life.

But she loved her life, despite it all; there were never any regrets in choosing the shinobi way—especially now. Because despite her many years of longing for these sights, she was here now, with the man that she loved more than anything in the world, achieving her dreams at last. The man she might have never really met, had she not taken this life, and who, in the end of it all, would have never fallen in love with her at all.

_(it was through the heartaches and hardships that they’d found each other, mending at the seams and seeping in each other’s beings like fluid dreams. she would have never gotten to know the real him, the vulnerable boy who only ever really craved for love, who just wanted his family back._

_and he would have never seen whatever it was that he always saw in her—something that made him crave, that made him cave, made him want to stay.)_

There was so much she would have missed out on if she’d chosen to stay home instead, and Sakura wondered if Sasuke knew how grateful she was to him for taking her with him—for offering her a place at his side, for allowing them to grow closer. She wondered if he knew that she wasn’t just helping him—he was helping her, too.

Probably not, she mused, smiling slightly, but—he would, in time. She was sure.

After a while, they eventually did find that spot the fisherman had told them about. Well hidden in the back of the orange shaded pool, they slipped through the tiny passage and made their way towards the broad daylight two dozen steps ahead, emerging on a flight of makeshift stairs littered in grapevines and blooming wildflowers. Sakura almost let herself gape at this, but as they both made their way up the steps, it was the view they stumbled on atop that really stole their breaths. It was like a scene straight out of a fairytale: a green, green hill sitting in the center of two waterfalls, small in size but nonetheless never lacking in beauty, shrouded by thick foliage and inhabited only by a lonesome cherry blossom tree, and a few pretty butterflies. Below them, the fishing boats lay scattered around the clear blue lake, moving forward with their peaceful lives, unaware they were being made part of a forever treasured memory.

Sakura moved to sit down by the tree in a trancelike state, taking everything in. She was only just barely aware when Sasuke went to do the same, his knee brushing her thigh.

“This is breathtaking,” she murmured, blushing in wonderment.

Sasuke’s only response was an agreeing hum and an almost too-soft, “It is.”

They stayed quiet for a while, merely observing the world around them, beneath them. Sharing the moment together, awestruck by a place that felt nearly too beautiful to be real.

“I’m totally telling Naruto about this place when we get back,” Sakura said, then, smile wide and happy. “He’d love to be here with us next time.”

“Next time?”

There was a tinge of amusement to his tone, and it made her blush a little, smile becoming almost bashful. “Yeah, next time. We’ll definitely come back, won’t we? It’s so beautiful, here.” She leaned her head against his shoulder. “And I know Naruto would love it, too. He’d probably want to bring Hinata when he’d come back.”

Sasuke hummed again. “Is he still dating her?” he asked.

“Yeah. Things are going well from what he tells me. He sounds really happy.”

“Hm.”

Sakura could practically _feel_ his quiet contentment at this. Pushing herself away from him, she nudged him firmly, and teased, voice all-knowing, “I know you’re happy for him, Sasuke-kun.”

“He deserves it after everything,” Sasuke replied, and it warmed her heart how much he didn’t bother to deny. She loved that he could be so open with her now, that he didn’t try and hide parts of himself he might have felt inclined to in the years before. That he felt safe.

But why couldn’t he feel that way with Naruto, too?

It should be easier with them, somehow, Sakura thought sadly. Sasuke and Naruto shared a connection that was soul transcending—a connection that reached far deeper than the means of simple friendship. They were kindred spirits. And yet, Sasuke never seemed to have any desire to let him in the same way, to forego every impulse to argue and mock for a simple, honest talk.

She just wanted them to be able to be _vulnerable_ with each other without having to beat each other black and blue—just like she and Sasuke were, right now.

The thought saddened her. Feeling slightly discouraged, Sakura unconsciously sought comfort by placing her head on his shoulder again, fingers gripping his sleeve faintly. She felt Sasuke shift towards her, as if sensing her disheartened mood, chasing a quiet sigh from her lips.

“You should tell him sometime, you know?” she said, before he’d have any chance to speak. “I feel like you guys still act the same as ever, and it can’t be healthy. Always bickering over everything, picking fights just to have an excuse to spar. Don’t you two ever get tired about beating each other up?”

Slowly, and with an odd tinge of mirth, Sasuke merely let out a sigh of his own, before softly pushing his body against her own in a sort of gentle, reassuring shove. “Don’t worry about us,” he said, once she’d straightened herself up again, green eyes setting on him. “We’re fine. It’s not as bad as it looks.”

But Sakura didn’t feel particularly reassured. “If you say so, Sasuke-kun,” she replied simply.

Judging by his second sigh, he knew his efforts to convince her had been in vain.

They were silent, for a moment.

Then: “It’s not the same as it was, you know.”

Still a little caught up in her thoughts, Sakura merely questioned, “Hm?”

“With me and Naruto,” Sasuke went on. “It’s not like it was before. Even if it looks like nothing’s changed. We… talk a lot, now—and I don’t mean arguing. Since the war, he’s started inviting me for some ramen, and while there, we talk for a while. About our past, about our lives—about a lot of things, really. We never really used to do that before. Not like this, anyway.”

Her mouth parted with surprise. “I—really? I didn’t know that, Sasuke-kun.”

“I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. It didn’t feel like something significant enough for me to tell you about.”

Of course it did, Sakura thought, a small smile tugging at her mouth. This change in his bond with Naruto, it likely felt more like a natural step more than anything else. She couldn’t blame him for thinking that this wasn’t important enough for him to tell her about. 

She smiled wider. “It’s okay. You don’t have to feel bad about not telling me—I get it. And I’m glad you guys talk now. I really am.”

“…Hn.”

A silence took place between them then, quiet and comfortable, tension fast easing away. They went back to watching the world together, minds feelings more at peace than they were before.

That is, until Sasuke murmured, “Itachi always talked about moving to a place like this. If he hadn’t been a shinobi, I think he might have wanted to live here.”

Her breath hitched before she could help it; it always caught her so off guard every time Sasuke opened up to her like this, talking about his family so earnestly. Sakura swallowed tightly.

“Because it’s so breathtaking?” she asked, her voice so warm, so tentative. Lovingly urging him on.

The small, barely perceptible smile that smoothed over his lips had her heart skipping a few beats. He looked so fond, like this, so sweetly nostalgic—like he was reliving one of his most cherished memories.

“And because it’s so peaceful,” he went on. His smile tugged a little more, and he leaned back against his only palm, tender mismatched eyes setting on the distance ahead. “He would have built himself a cabin in the woods and gone fishing every day, never bothering anyone else. And he would have been content with that for the rest of his life.”

Itachi really was a kind, gentle man judging from the way Sasuke kept talking about him, Sakura couldn’t help but to think, a smile of her own growing. She really would have liked to meet him, someday.

“Sounds like your brother wanted a quiet life,” she said, humming most agreeably.

It was then that Sasuke’s eyes finally saddened, the faint smile disappearing from his mouth. “Itachi never had the heart for violence,” he admitted quietly, shoulders falling a little. She saw him swallow, throat tightened under silent sorrow. “Sometimes I think that’s what really killed him… he used to be happier before it all. The shinobi world broke something in him.”

Her own throat growing tight, Sakura swallowed, too. “Sometimes I think it breaks something in us all,” she whispered, “whether we wanted this life or not.”

He looked at her, then, and his eyes softened again. In one slow, sure move, he leaned in and pressed his lips to her forehead softly, lingering most reverently—a gesture of comfort meant for himself as much as it was meant for her. Sakura let out a soft breath at this, feeling both at peace and strangely sentimental. No words could express how happy she was that it hadn’t taken long for him to open himself back up again, that it hadn’t taken weeks for him to exorcise his demons, like it used to.

Maybe Sasuke was really starting to crave being with her like this, she mused, heart quickening slightly. Maybe that’s what always made him put so much effort into trying to move past whatever darkness always seeking to pull him back.

.

.

They stayed there for a while afterwards, drawing out their moment of peace; the animosity of the villagers below them all but forgotten, attentions solely focused on each other and the bright, breathtaking world around them. It was quiet, for the most part, sharing warmth and enjoying each other’s simple company. But there were times where Sakura was struck with the inspiration to talk, reminded of the stories in her letters that she’d since now forgotten to share with Sasuke, or had simply found herself unable to disclose due to their circumstances.

_(suna had been rather heavy on them, after all.)_

So with a smile, and a carefully lighthearted tone, Sakura proceeded to tell him the news she’d received about Konoha, about their friends, about her family; what kind of thriving business had opened up, what kind of antics some people had gotten into, and whatever new project her mother and father had started. And to her delight, she found that Sasuke seemed content to simply listen to her.

It was this very thought that urged her to reach out and take ahold of his hand, feeling quite sure that he wouldn’t reject her. She was right, she found, as Sasuke wasted no time intertwining their fingers, prompting the sweetest smile to her lips.

It was only when the sun finally started going down that they seemed to break from their little world.

“The sun’s setting,” Sasuke said, when he took notice. He frowned. “We should get back to the inn before it gets dangerous.”

Despite her slight disappointment, Sakura could only agree. The fisherman had warned them, after all.

Omitting the use of their shinobi speed, they promptly navigated their way out of the stunningly wondrous caves in quick, not-too-hurried steps, abstaining themselves from staring too thoughtfully at the beauty surrounding them so as to make it out in time. They exited just as the last of the brightest lights were dying out, inciting Sakura to look up and grin at the man at her side.

In return, Sasuke only huffed a small, distinctly humored sound, before taking ahold of her wrist and urging her along. Sakura found herself blushing prettily at this; she liked to believe that had they not been heading out into crowded streets, he might have gone for her hand instead.

“Could we go to the market before heading back?” she asked, flashing a cheeky smile his way. “I’d like to check out if they have some fresh strawberries. I’ve been craving some, lately.”

Sasuke merely shrugged, letting go of her wrist to shove his hand in his pocket. Sakura didn’t mind this.

“Sure,” he replied. “I don’t see why not.”

That made her smile wider. “Oh!” she exclaimed, then, as if realizing something. She gave him a quick wink. “And we could check for fresh tomatoes, too!”

He rolled his eyes at this, but shook his head all the same, his amusement clear.

Giggling lightly, Sakura simply laced her hands behind her back and strode along his side, a light bounce in her every step.

Absent haste, the two sauntered off towards Ishi’s main streets, politely deviating from mistrusting villagers, still, their focus shared only between themselves. They didn’t talk much, but Sakura wasn’t worried—his quiet company was something she always relished in, too.

When they’d arrived at the market, they didn’t waste time looking around; they headed straight for the food vendors, zoning in on the fruit merchant on the left end. Sasuke fell back slightly as they neared him, but Sakura didn’t question him, well-mindful of the fact that her presence would certainly be more agreeable for the vendor.

A few minutes later, they were already trekking their way back towards the inn, two boxes of ripe red strawberries in her arms, and a basket of fresh tomatoes in Sasuke’s only. Sakura couldn’t stop grinning, green, green eyes crinkling with entirely apparent anticipation, urging the man at her side to shake his head again, lips twitching slightly.

_(something that, quite evidently, expressed how adorable he thought she was, admits her somewhat childish excitement. the thought made her heart quicken.)_

Before long they finally reached their inn. Offering a quick, yet polite hello to the owner up front, they made their way to their room. As they were no more than strides away, Sakura began to tell him that maybe tomorrow they could bring a basket of fruit to thank the man’s hospitality despite his passive hostility—but the both of them only found themselves stiffening once they stepped into their rented room.

The window was broken, the bedside lamp fallen and busted; most of the furniture seemed misplaced or thrown down, some of them clothes hazardously thrown around. Someone had evidently raided their room—though that wasn’t what shocked them the most.

What did were the words _Murderer_ and _Traitor_ painted on the walls facing the bed in big, fat red letters.

Sakura could only stand there completely aghast. “Who—who would _do_ this?”

Sasuke remained silent in return, and the lack of answer had her looking up at him, finding him just as stunned. But it was that tightly fisted hand that had her really beginning to worry.

She couldn’t imagine how hurt he felt in the face of this.

_(especially with how hard he was trying to respect everyone’s space, to never upset them—to give them time instead of forcing them to change their minds. but still, even now, for some it wasn’t enough.)_

“Sasuke-kun…” Sakura whispered, reaching out to tug at his empty sleeve so very gently. She didn’t want to unsettle him even more. “Sasuke-kun, we can leave,” she offered. “We don’t have to stay here. They can’t treat you like this—”

“No,” Sasuke cut, his voice strong and terse, mismatched eyes blazing with a fiery resolve. “No, we’re staying.”

I won’t let them win like this, she could hear in the following silence.

Her heart swelled with warm, affectionate pride, causing her hand to tighten around his sleeve, eyes gleaming brightly. Sasuke only spared a softening look to the touch before moving forward to grab at the drape of the second bed, heading towards the disgracing wall with intent. Realizing what he was going to do, Sakura followed after him to lend a hand.

Together, they pinned the long sheet over the vile words with the help of kunais, taking care to cover every inch, erasing—if only for a while—any evidence of malice. Afterwards, they picked up their fallen clothes, gathered the broken pieces of glass, and closed the blinds, before heading for bed.

Wrapped up in each other, they fell asleep, hearts seeping love and backs turned away from the unjust hatred of today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter that I had prepared. Waits for newer chapters will be longer! With how busy I am I generally update at every month or so, but it does happen for it to go to three months. I always try my best to update as soon as I can though!


	19. nineteen

The morning came to them tender, despite the events that had transpired in the night before. Caught in a world of soft, fluid dreams and restful sleep, Sakura had languidly awoken to the feeling of something light sifting gently through her hair. It made her sigh, instinct driving her face to bury itself deeper in the crook of her love’s neck, restraint forgotten through her blissful drowsiness.

Until, that is, the touch stilled.

Glazed green eyes blinking open, Sakura slowly came to be aware of the reality of this moment, ever-growing focus bringing her to realize that it was Sasuke’s hand buried in her locks. The knowledge brought a bashful flush to her cheeks. Fleetingly, she couldn’t help but to wonder if this was the first time he’d done this—or if perhaps he might have done this before, some day or week or month ago, when the grasps of slumber were too tight on her to have her take notice. Her hand curled in his shirt at the thought, blush blooming even more.

And then Sasuke exhaled a breath, so soft, quiet and content; his too-familiar fingers moved once more, threading through her short bright locks with open, muted affection, sending her urging to fight back a smile. She let her eyes slip shut again, sighing with delight. Mornings like these could easily become her favorites.

Her mouth ran dry, however, when his hand started moving down across her scalp; carefully, cautiously, fingers running ever-so-slightly through her hair. In a gesture that felt entirely born from quiet yearning, his thumb came to gingerly brush at her throat, reverent, driving a shiver up her spine. Then, he reached to cup her face, his touch particularly tender. She let him tilt her head towards him, let their gazes meet, and when his thumb brushed her jaw, a wave of almost flustering heat tore right through her.

Did he even realize the effect he had on her?

_(she hoped not. because she knew, even with this—they weren’t there yet, weren’t ready for this, still. or, well, sasuke wasn’t. but she was okay with that.)_

But, it seemed, she wasn’t the only one who had felt something then, she realized, as she saw Sasuke swallowing faintly in the next breath. His mismatched eyes stayed locked on hers, thumb lingering upon her smooth skin, as if savoring the taste of something he felt he couldn’t yet have—and then he pulled away, body shifting until he was sitting by the bedside, running his lone hand through his hair.

“Sorry,” he murmured. But Sakura wasn’t sure he knew exactly what he was apologizing for.

_(for pulling them into a direction they couldn’t yet take? for tearing himself away so quickly? for building her hopes up? or… something else? she'd likely never know.)_

“It’s okay,” she replied. She smiled at him—even when he couldn’t see it like this. “Breakfast?”

Shoulders slackening off tension, Sasuke nodded, and they began their usual routine.

.

.

“So you’re still ‘ere, huh?”

Slurred and spoken with ample malice, it was impossible to ignore the remark; lifting her head curiously, Sakura peered away from her meal to look at the resentful stranger, brows furrowing deeply. Couldn’t they get a rest, for one day? To no surprise, the man’s eyes were trained on Sasuke with clear distaste, apparently completely unaware (or uncaring) of her presence. A bottle of shochu swayed in his right hand.

A drunk villager, she reckoned, frowning. The civilians here seemed to be more vocal and daring than in Suna, it seemed—though Sakura wasn’t sure why that would be when the village was more peace-driven than most. But as her gaze landed on the Ishigakure headband on his arm, she blinked quickly, stiffening. No, a nin? That couldn’t be—most shinobi were brought up and trained to remain commendable and alert on days they were not officially off duty. Even now, she mused, it wasn’t unheard of to come across stories of demotions and unpaid suspensions with nins who were caught in no condition to carry out their work. So why did this man not seem to care?

A slow sigh from the man at her side caught her attention, and her gaze shifted over.

“We don’t want any trouble,” Sasuke said blandly, never looking away from his bowl of steamed rice and grilled fish, features perfectly indifferent. She wondered what was going through his mind; if he was growing tired of this, or simply annoyed. “So you can walk away now.”

The boozy nin simply scoffed, carelessly putting his bottle of shochu down on the table. “Well tough luck, shithead,” he growled, glaring at him more sharply. “Y’should have fuckin’ thought of that before y’walked into my village.”

Sakura’s lips tightened at that, hand curling. This man was growing too aggressive already, and she wasn’t liking it—Sasuke had already been kicked out of one village as it was, and she’d be damned if she was going to allow another spiteful shinobi to let it happen again.

Fortunately, though, Sasuke didn’t seem to be too affected by it; he looked up to the stranger, chopsticks still in his one hand, and stared at him levelly, daring for his patience to be tested. “I didn’t come here to pick fights with anyone,” he said. “I’m only here to atone for my sins. Whatever mistakes I made that affected you—”

“Mistakes?” the man spat, barking a humorless laugh. Sakura’s stomach churned uncomfortably at the sound. Baring his teeth, he went on icily, “Spare me the bullshit, Uchiha—you’re a fuckin’ murd’rer and everyone _knows_ it.”

There was something in the way he’d said it, Sakura realized, something amidst the cold fury and the slight cloudiness of his speech—something that made her chest tighten, fingers twitching with the urge to reach for the man beside her.

_(pain. loss. and… grief._

_so much grief.)_

The unease that had settled in her earlier grew to almost alarming heights, leading her throat to close up and her heartbeat to pound wildly. Whatever this was, it was only going to get heavier, darker—much, _much_ darker—and soon. And when it would, Sakura’s instincts told her that neither she or Sasuke should still be here to witness it. After all, she knew better than anyone that nothing good could ever come out of a grief like this—fueled by time and hate and vengeful thoughts.

_(it was what had led sasuke to his path of darkness, what had caused them so much pain. it was why sasuke still struggled so much with what he did.)_

Anxious, Sakura looked at Sasuke, and saw his lips tighten, fingers clenching around his chopsticks. He’d felt it, too.

The drunken Ishi nin took a gulp of his shochu, then, and fell back a swaying step, catching both of their attentions again. “N’ I thought you’d take off runnin’ if I painted words on y’ur fuckin’ walls describin’ the trash that y’r’lly are,” he muttered.

Her heart jumped at that, eyes snapping wide; in the near same instant, she and Sasuke looked at each other, positively realizing the same thing. Was he the one who had—

“Fine,” the man snapped, tossing his emptied bottle recklessly to the floor, “you want som’one to fuckin’ tell it to your face, then I’ll f’ckin’ tell you!”

As the nin started angrily treading their way, Sakura instincts took over again, driving her to promptly stand up from her seat, features hard. “Back off!” she growled, the warning clear in her tone. “You really want to start something here and put these civilians in danger—”

“Shut the fuck up, you bitch, no one asked you!”

In seconds, Sasuke was up to his feet, lone hand clutching with dangerous force at the inebriated man’s shirt, his mismatched eyes hard and furious as he stared down at him—as if daring him to speak that way to her again. The sight had Sakura’s heart pounding in her chest, wide-eyed and stunned, mind spinning as it still struggled to take in what had just happened. She’d never even seen him _move_.

_(he really couldn’t stand people talking her down, could he?)_

“That’s right,” the man said, jutting his chin out proudly as he stared right back at Sasuke’s stone-cold features, gaze glossed over with liquor. “G’ve me a reason, Uchiha. Give me one goddam’ good reas’n t’have you reported and tak’n to jail. Gods know that’s th’least you fuckin’ deserve after all you’ve done. After all th’lives you’ve _ruined_.”

Sasuke’s fist tightened around his clothes, and Sakura stiffened for it, reaching for him instantly; her small fingers curled around his empty sleeve, urging him silently. “Sasuke-kun, don’t. He’s not worth it.”

But the slurring shinobi only barked a laugh, tossing his head back. “Aren’t I though?” he replied, a broken, hopeless smile crossing his lips. “This piece o’ shit ruined my life—so I think i’s only fair that he hears how, right?” Another laugh fell from his lips, but this one sounded so much sadder than the last, so much more fragmented. “After all, he’s tryin’ to become a better man! Tryin’ to move past the fucking monster he was, and get his fuckin’ redemption! Can’t do tha’ when you h’ven’t heard how badly you fucked up first, huh!”

The dread in her stomach spiraled in intensity again, so strongly Sakura almost trembled from it, sending her heart lurching painfully inside her chest while her palms worked up a sweat. She knew then that they couldn’t stay, that they had to go _now_ —because if they didn’t, if _Sasuke_ lingered around… there was no telling what kind of damage would be done to the progress he’d made.

_(to whatever they had built together.)_

“Sasuke-kun, please,” she whispered softly, tugging at his empty sleeve with muted desperation. “We should go—this isn’t going to do anyone any good, you know that.”

His eyes shifted away from the man; they met hers in silence, watching her wordlessly.

“Please,” she repeated, tightening her grip.

But Sasuke merely freed himself from her hold, and turned back to the nin again, conveying his clear refusal. He wanted to hear what the broken shinobi had to say.

_(wanted to hear why he hated him so much, wanted to know what he did that made himself seem so irredeemable; wanted to feed the demons he had been so desperately fighting off lately, wanted to fall back into the habit of knowing he deserved nothing good.)_

The sheer force of her heartbreak drove her breathless, knees quivering with the threat of soon giving away. Sakura could do nothing but grasp at the counter, stumbling dazedly back into her seat.

And then the nin said, “You murdered my brother like he was _nothing_ ,” and Sakura could do nothing but sit there, helpless, watching the man she loved begin to fall apart.

.

.

“Sasuke-kun! Sasuke-kun, wait!” she yelled, trying desperately to keep up with his steps as he broke through heavy crowds of civilians through the market, lone hand curled in a knuckle-white fist at his side. “Sasuke-kun, please, wait up!”

But he wasn’t listening to her, just like he hadn’t been listening to her since they’d left the restaurant and that vicious, broken man, leading her to only grow more worried for him, heart wrenching painfully inside her chest. This was something she’d dreaded would happen, when she’d failed to convince him to leave.

As the crowds of the villagers receded at last, Sakura began to pace faster, only to find herself still unable to catch him as he did the same, clearly seeking to keep distance between them. Her heart tightened just for that, her feet flaring with chakra to summon more speed.

Fortunately for her, their inn came in view soon after, and Sasuke slowed his pace to make his way inside, allowing her to catch up just in time to see him making quick work of a payment to the establishment’s owner. She hurried towards him when he turned and briskly started making his way again, calling out, “Sasuke-kun, wait! We have to talk about this—you can’t just leave!”

But Sasuke replied nothing, just like all the times before, navigating the halls in hurried steps before finding the room they’d been staying in, heading straight for his unpacked travel bag. It was only then that Sakura managed to grasp him, fingers locking tightly around his arm, forcing him to stay in place. But he wouldn’t look at her; even when he stopped. Even when she begged him to.

“ _Please_ ,” she whispered, tugging at him gently. “Please, Sasuke-kun. Look at me… let’s talk about this.”

A rough jerk of his arm was his only response, freeing him from her grasp and allowing him to carry on what he’d started, his movements almost frantic as he moved to take whatever essentials of his belongings to shove into his bag. And that was when she finally noticed how terribly he was shaking; with his arm, and his hand, and his legs—betraying the mess that was his mind and his heart, right now.

There was no fighting the tears that welled up at that, hand coming to cup over her mouth as she watched him gather his things, unable to ignore the now too-clear signs of his overtly rattled state. He’d really taken it too hard this time, she thought wistfully, burning eyes clenching shut. Her hands curled into tight fists. Why was it that he never learned? Why was it that he couldn’t properly see the good in him? Why was it that he always tore himself down every time someone was hateful enough to bring up the horrible mistakes he’d made?

She just wanted him to be _happy_ ; to forgive himself, truly, and accept that he was not the man his past sins made him out to be. Why couldn’t he do that?

“You said you would try,” she whispered, eyes fluttering open to look at the man she loved too much. Sasuke seemed to still at this. “You said you would _try_ , Sasuke-kun, remember? _Why_ aren’t you trying?” Her voice broke at the end, tears finally spilling over her cheeks. It hurt so much to see him like this.

Sasuke remained silent, unmoving.

“You can’t do this, Sasuke-kun. Not now. You’ve made so much progress towards forgiving yourself for what you’ve done, you can’t give up now—”

“And _why the hell_ not!” Sasuke finally yelled, whipping around to look at her, features displaying an expression she had never before seen on him. It made her breath catch, chest squeezing so unbearably tight, her sad, sad gaze quietly taking in every trace of rage, of grief… of broken down hopes for a future he too-clearly cherished in his heart. “I _killed_ that family, do you realize that? I murdered that nin’s brother—I murdered a _good_ man who worked his soul out to provide for all of them. I’m the reason they went _broke_ , I’m the reason they went into shady business—I’m the reason they fucking _killed themselves_ when it all became too much!”

He was still yelling, even now, and it shook her to hear it, body trembling from the force of his devastated heart. And yet still, she sought to calm him, speaking out, “You can’t blame yourself for that, Sasuke-kun! It wasn’t your fault—”

“Isn’t it though?” he cut in sharply, his voice still as frenzied and angry as it had been. “If I’d never murdered that man in cold blood, they would all still be _alive_.” A certain wave of anguish visibly swept over him at that, filling her with a sharp, overwhelming urge to wrap herself around him. “How many families have I done this to? How many families have I _ruined_?”

_How many orphans have I left behind, shattered to pieces and struggling to put themselves back together?_ she heard in the silence. _How many empty hearts have I gone and filled with the same, corruptive hatred that haunted me?_

Her tears spilled over again, sending her hand to cover her mouth again, body shaking with the force of her heartache. Gods, she hated this. She hated how much he hated himself—it hurt too much to watch.

However, it seemed, she wasn’t the only one who felt this way, too. Sasuke wrenched his head away, features contorting again as he slung his travel bag over his body. “There’s nothing more for you here, Sakura,” he said, voice tight. “Go back to Konoha.”

The words barely registered in her mind before she saw him move again, sweeping swiftly through the broken window, intent on running away from her once more.

_(intent on protecting her from the monster that he was so sure he always would be.)_

Sakura didn’t hesitate to go off after him, doing her best to scramble for her essentials before she hurriedly hopped out of the window as well.

She could only hope she’d be fast enough to catch him, this time. 

.

.

It was by a cool, quiet stream shaded by two great rock arches that she found him again; leaning palm first into a tall, cracked stone pillar, body still shaking just as terribly as it was in the rented inn room, his chakra flaring out with deep, unstable bursts. His lack of control over anything had been the only reason she was able to catch up to him, just now, having provided her with the ease of tracking him down from the moment he sprinted off; with his explosive chakra, she was able to sense what direction he had taken, along with how fast he was going. Had Sasuke’s emotions never been so out of hand, Sakura knew that she never would have been able to chase him like she did.

_(this was the only comfort she’d allowed herself to take, from the disaster that was today.)_

Panting, heart pounding, Sakura stood warily a few feet away from the man she so desperately wished she could help to heal, waiting. Because Sasuke hadn’t stopped to catch his breath, and she knew that—as the formidable shinobi that he was, he could have ran for hours, if he’d wanted to.

_(just like she could.)_

“I told you to go back to Konoha, Sakura,” he said, finally, his voice so rough… but lacking the fire it had only half an hour prior.

She wondered, worriedly, if he was spent already, the sorrow already eating away at his heart. It made her swallow tightly, teeth biting softly at her cheek.

“Haven’t you learned by now?” she said, mustering the smallest, loving smile she could manage. It quivered on her lips, made frail by her bleeding heart. “I’m never gonna give up on you. None of us ever will, Sasuke-kun.”

His hand curled against the rock’s surface, and she watched him lean his head against it, for a moment, muttering something to himself that she couldn’t hear. And then, eventually, he pulled away, wiping at his face as furtively as he could.

_Gods,_ she realized with a hitched breath, the pain inside of her tightening impossibly, _had he been_ —

Shifting on his feet, Sasuke finally turned to face her, his expression a perfect picture of crumbling strength… and cheeks marred with half streaks of wetness.

“Oh, Sasuke-kun…” she whispered weakly, the burn of tears creeping up again.

But before she could even think of anything to say, Sasuke glared at her savagely and said, “You’re all stupid, the three of you! Stupid and reckless and _blind_. What the hell have I done that was any good in this life, huh? When the fuck have my choices ever helped anyone other than _me_?”

“That’s not true, Sasuke-kun!” she tried to argue, her voice shaking _. You saved the world_ , she thought sadly, but couldn’t make herself say. He’d probably say he tried to burn it moments before he saved it, anyway. “Naruto, Kakashi and I, we’ve seen everything in you that everybody else refuses to see! We know what a good heart you have, we know the real—”

“You know nothing!” Sasuke spat, the fury in his eyes fading to something so much more fragile. “All you three ever did was listen to what you wanted to hear, see what you wanted to see! You turned a blind eye to everything else, no matter how big it was, and made yourselves believe _that_ was the truth!”

“How can you say that?” Sakura cried back, taking steps to bridge the distance between them, desperate to make him understand. Wetness ran down her cheeks. “After all we’ve been through, how can you say that we’ve made ourselves believe something that wasn’t true! We’ve never tried to ignore your mistakes, Sasuke-kun, we just know that you’re better than whatever they make you out to be! You’ve _always_ been better than that!”

“Then how come _no one else_ sees it?” he replied, now just as fierce and forceful as before. The anger was back. “How come everyone else thinks I’m a piece of shit? How come that _whole fucking village_ ,” he pointed to the direction they had come from, “thinks that the world would be better without me—hell, why the _fuck_ do they all think the world would have been so much better _without my entire clan having ever existed!_ ”

_(“You would all be stuck in a genjutsu for the rest of your lives if it wasn’t for him! He saved all of you!”_

_“We never would have needed saving if it wasn’t for his clan! All they’ve ever brought this world is blood hate and death! None of this would have ever happened if it wasn’t for them! They should have never been born!”)_

“But it—it wasn’t—It wasn’t _everyone_ , Sasuke-kun…” she scrambled to say, despairing as she tried to have him find some semblance of light in all this mess.

“Well it sure sounded like the whole crowd was at us, didn’t it?” he retorted sharply, his gaze furious.

_(—furiously broken.)_

Finding herself unable to refute, Sakura only watched him silently, heart falling downcast, losing hope. She didn’t know what else she could say anymore—not with Sasuke so damned set on negating everything she tried to bring up. Was there really nothing she could do?

But then the thought of a kindhearted family came to mind, and her heart nearly jumped, renewed with conviction.

“What about the Hawanakis, Sasuke-kun?” she declared, meeting his gaze resolutely. “What about Noburu-chan, Asuka-chan, Natsumi and Yuuta? Where they wrong, too? Were they deluding themselves with false truths?”

Satisfaction swelled in her chest when she saw Sasuke’s mouth part in response, stilled into silence. He hadn’t thought about them, it seemed, too bent on seeing all the wrongs he’d done. The anger in his mismatched eyes faded, replaced instead by traces of nostalgia and shame. Fist clenching knuckle-white for the slightest moment, he turned his head away from her.

Her eyes softened. “You saved them, Sasuke-kun,” she said gently. “And not only that, but you were good enough to stay around and help out because they needed you—because you knew that they wouldn’t have survived without you. You helped Yuuta recover from his wounds, helped Natsumi with the garden, cooking and the crops—you even helped her take care of Noburu-chan and Asuka-chan when she had too much on her plate. Do you even realize the amount of kindness someone has to have to do all that?”

Sasuke kept quiet again, swallowing noticeably. She was getting to him.

“You didn’t ruin _their_ lives, Sasuke-kun. You helped them piece themselves back together. And they aren’t the only ones that you’ve helped—I remember every story you’ve told me of every person you’ve helped during these years, every good thing that helped make a difference in their wor—”

“Things I did when I was deluding myself into believing I was something I’m not,” he interjected swiftly, jaw tightening with great strength. His eyes slipped shut tight. “Things that made me feel better about all the sins that I’d committed and made me forget that I—”

Sharp, overwhelming frustration took over her, and before she’d realized it, Sakura shouted desperately, “How do you think Itachi would feel right now if he saw you tearing yourself down like this!”

Faster than she could understand, her back was pushed against the pillar in the next instant, stealing the breath from her lungs.

“Don’t,” she heard him say, voice frighteningly quiet. His fingers clenched with almost shuddering strength around the material at her waist, making her swallow. “Don’t you dare bring him up his name. You never knew my brother.”

Unafraid, and still gentle, Sakura only stared at the man in front of her, his features shadowed by his long bangs. All she could see was his clenched jaw, taut with grief and anger, and still wet with remnant dampness of his earlier tears; and his mouth, mulled out in a thin line. She wanted so much to take his pain away.

“No, I didn’t,” she admitted softly, then. She tried hard not to concentrate on the warmth of his touch through her clothes; this wasn’t the time. “But I knew that he loved you very much—maybe more than he ever loved anyone else.” She took a breath, and swallowed once more. “…Just like I do.”

A sound left him at that, strangled and beaten, like he couldn’t bear to listen to what she had to say anymore. Sasuke tore himself away from her swiftly, and turned on the heels of his feet, hiding whatever vulnerability he couldn’t stand letting her see.

“…You’re an idiot,” he said, but there was no malice—only pain. “Go back to Konoha.”

“I won’t,” she replied, taking a step towards him. “Because I love you, Sasuke-kun, and I’m going to help you through this—”

“—Well I don’t love _you_ ,” Sasuke snapped, causing her words to fall short in one, single skipping heartbeat.

Her chest tightened unbearably once again, features twisting with too-miserable empathy—because she could hear it, in the sound of his voice, the tremble of his words: Sasuke was lying, and it pained him more than he would ever admit. He had only grown too desperate to push her away.

And so, Sakura let her eyes slip shut for a moment, took a breath, before looking at the man she would forever love, and responded fondly, “Yes, you do, Sasuke-kun. And I’m staying with you. Because you’re a good man, with a good heart, and you’re going to do so many wonderful things to help this world—and right now you don’t believe this, but I know that one day you will. You’ll finally see what we all see, and this time, you’re not going to let anyone else take that away from you.” Her eyes softened. “And I want to be with you when that happens, Sasuke-kun. So I’m staying.”

It was obvious by his thick silence that Sasuke didn’t believe that, that he expected this could never happen. But Sakura wouldn’t let this discourage her, telling herself that he would only need time, and patience, and support. He had made progress before, and he could progress again, she assured herself.

And yet still, she couldn’t help the way her heart broke when he turned halfway to relent his assent, unknowingly offering sight of the expression he wore: tired, lost, defeated… and completely disconnected from himself.

Throat closing up thickly, Sakura vowed with all the strength in her that she would never rest before Sasuke finally learned how to love himself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise, this will be the heaviest chapter in terms of angst. *offers tissues for your tears*


	20. twenty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter could have been out much earlier tbh, but I completely put the story aside as ssmonth came along in order to be able to whip out a few stories for it. When I posted my last story for it a few days after it ended, I immediately went back to working on this!

They didn’t speak much, for a while.

In the two weeks that followed their fight along the outskirts of Ishigakure, Sasuke seemed to spend most of his time trying to close himself off from her, having grown evermore adamant in widening this rift that had taken place between them. Every touch she offered, he recoiled from with neck-breaking speed, merely grunting or offering curt nods in response to her small questions, mismatched gaze always firmly settled elsewhere.

He’d even gone as far as ceasing to sleep in the tent as well—the one they’d always shared together on their travels, on this _journey_ —as though suddenly unable to handle her now too-close proximity, and too-familiar warmth.

_(their tent had never been one made to fit two, after all.)_

But it wasn’t that he was mad at her, Sakura knew. He was only mad at himself; overwrought with guilt and the seemingly endless reminders of his sins; driven away by the hate of an entire village not yet ready to forget (and much less forgive). Cemented in his belief—and not for the first time—that he was no good for her.

_(…or anyone.)_

It crushed her heart to watch him sabotage himself so well; to see him falling back in that deep, dark hole he’d already trapped himself into so many times before. To look on as he tore apart the very happiness he _deserved_.

And yet, Sakura forced herself to smile despite. To ignore the ache in her chest, and the tightness in her throat; to try her best to remain encouraging, inspiring.

Because Sasuke needed it.

_(and, in truth, so did she.)_

“Where are we going next, Sasuke-kun?” she asked, as they took pause atop the peak of a lone, tall tree overlooking the many road splits ahead. High rocky paths and mountain views had already begun fading out of sight a few days ago, giving way to grassy plains and sparse varying foliage that Sakura could not recognize—but that she was sure did not belong to the Land of Earth.

She hoped he wasn’t trying to take a different path back to Konoha.

“Ame,” he replied stiffly, eyes never straying in her direction.

Her smile dropped for the slightest moment, green eyes blinking quickly. But it wasn’t long before she forced it back to her lips.

How fitting, she thought, one hand curling lightly against her clothes. Just as their relationship was falling apart, they were heading to the only village famous for its relentlessly crying skies and funereal mood. The irony was almost laughable.

Sakura could only hope their bond would be better by then.

.

.

Two more weeks went on, and Sasuke’s behavior remained unchanged, much to her dismay. Sakura, unsure of what she could do anymore, began to feel a little lost, sending bouts of intense anxiety hurtling at her stomach.

It was strange, really, how much absence of talk could affect a mind. If anyone had ever thought to ask her a few months back, Sakura likely never would have believed an extended period of time spent without solid conversation could truly leave someone feeling so disheartened and alone.

_(after all, she’d been doing it for a time as she carried on her travels with the man at her side. this man whom, in all the years she’d known him, had never much been one for words._

_…but now and then were entirely different matters.)_

With every day that passed, the weight of his unwavering detachment seemed to grow heavier and heavier on her heart, producing new cracks along the ones still bleeding from its recent beating. Sakura found it harder to keep a smile, to maintain her usual bright bubbliness, growing uncharacteristically quiet. She knew Sasuke had taken notice of this as well when she caught him always trying to steal glances her way, one day, mismatched eyes almost soft with something like worry… or shame.

Perhaps, Sasuke was convinced that if he distanced himself enough from her, she would see his truth and leave him be—return to Konoha as he’d tried so hard to have her do, that day. That if he stopped giving her reasons to hold on to what they had, she would finally give up on him—tired of his messes, his constant lapses, his too-dark heart—and go back _home_ , back into the arms of the brighter people who could give her so much more than he could.

But that would never happen, as long as she believed in him.

_(and she always would. they were long past the worst of it, after all._

_…weren’t they?)_

.

.

“Someday, you’re going to have to talk to me again, Sasuke-kun,” she told him as they reached their fifth week of near-absolute silence, sitting by a campfire only half a day away from the next small village. Only a week left before they’d reach Amegakure, she pondered.

In response, Sasuke said nothing, merely poking a wooden stick idly at the burning logs.

Hurt swelled within her chest. Her green, green eyes saddened. Softly, Sakura went on, “I don’t know why you keep doing this. You should know by now that I’m not going anywhere.”

A soft, barely audible sigh left him at that. Whether that was out of acceptance or disappointment, she would never know, as Sasuke only kept his gaze on the fire, intent on staying quiet.

Feeling a tight knot forming at her throat, Sakura shook her head. Just a little longer, she told herself, swallowing down stinging frustration.

She just had to be patient.

.

.

A harsh, torrential rainfall hit them that night, their first since their forced departure from Ishi. Sudden and severe, it crashed down on the tent so heavily that it sent Sakura startling awake in a breath, eyes wild as her heart pounded rapidly inside her chest. Taking in her surroundings, focus growing, it took only half a moment before calm finally seemed to find her again, allowing her raging heartbeat to soothe itself. A quiet sigh left her mouth.

Bad storm, she thought dazedly, drowsiness seeping in again as she curled back into her sleeping bag. Almost as bad as the one they had the first day they left Konoh—

Eyes snapping open, Sakura whispered frightfully, “Sasuke-kun,” before scrambling to her feet as quickly as she could manage, fingers practically ripping off the zipper off their tent. Her eyes widened even more as she took in the sight of Sasuke, still lying on the now-muddy ground with his sopping wet sleeping bag pulled over his head, apparently of the mind to weather out this horrid downpour.

That— _idiot_!

“Sasuke-kun!” she called, making sure her voice was loud enough to reach through this deluge, a worried frown to her lips. “Sasuke-kun, quickly, get inside! This is dangerous!”

But Sasuke gave no response.

Appalled that he would be so obstinate in his objective to keep his distance from her enough to try and tough out such severe conditions, Sakura nearly fumed. “Sasuke-kun, don’t be stupid! Do you _really_ think I’m going to let you catch hypothermia and leave you out here to die just because you’re too stubborn to sleep in the same tent as me?” she growled. “Get in here before I walk out there _to_ _drag you in myself_!”

One second passed, then five, and ten. And then, just as Sakura seethed and went to stalk towards him, Sasuke knocked away his sleeping bag and trudged into the tent, nearly colliding into her. Too surprised by his sudden move, Sakura flinched and froze for a few breaths, unable to do anything as Sasuke towered over her and glared down with red shot eyes, shivering and soaked.

Happy now? she could clearly hear him hiss, snide and harsh but also so very tired.

It was only when he moved to lay down where it was furthest from her that Sakura broke out of her daze and snatched out to grasp his cold drenched shirt, keeping him in place.

Sasuke whipped around with a scowl, too-clearly fresh out of patience. “ _What_?” he snapped.

But Sakura refused to back down. “You idiot—take your shirt off, at least!” she said firmly, green eyes hard with professional authority. She was a medic for goodness sake! Did he really think she was going to let him sleep like this? “You’re going to freeze in those wet clothes.”

Mismatched eyes narrowing furiously, Sasuke’s lone hand instantly moved to clasp at his collar, beginning to impatiently pull at it, transparently eager to finally be left alone.

Her eyes widened with realization. He was going to do this right in front of her? Sakura’s cheeks flushed deeply at the thought. And then, Sasuke angrily tugged at the shirt until it caught around his chin, and she made a small, embarrassed noise.

He seemed to pause at this.

Heart caught in her throat, Sakura watched as Sasuke’s knuckles whitened in tell-tale sign of a tightening grip, before her eyes found themselves selfishly flittering down to glance at the exposed lines of his defined abdomen. Her mouth watered, catching sight of ice cold rain droplets running down his toned, pale skin—

His shirt dropped back suddenly, startling her out of her most inappropriate stare, wide-eyed gaze snapping back to his own with impressive speed. Her cheeks only grew hotter at the look she found to his features, dark and hungry, but so impossibly complicated, sending tingles to her spine.

Jaw tight, Sasuke abruptly turned and made to once more lie down as far away from her as the tent would allow him. “I’ll deal,” he muttered as he lay down with his back facing her, shoulders stiff.

Heart hammering, mind reeling, Sakura exhaled a shaky breath; such thick, charged tension hadn’t made itself so strongly known between them ever since the time Sasuke had seen her walk into her own room wearing nothing but a towel. A knot started forming thickly at her throat.

At a loss for words, Sakura merely acquiesced and went back into her sleeping bag.

.

.

Hours later, when Sasuke woke her up muttering and thrashing wildly from a nightmare, Sakura forced herself to remain still, to feign peaceful sleep, all-too-aware that any offered comfort would only send him running out of the tent again in this state. Without a doubt in her mind, she knew that Sasuke, right now, would rather brave this dangerous weather all night than to let her save him from this darkness he was supposedly long-used to.

So, swallowing, Sakura remained unmoving, eyes watering, listening to every sharp gasp and incoherent, grieving mumble of the love of her life, to every restless jerk and twist of his body against the hard ground, wishing away his lifelong anguish. She waited, waited, and _waited_ —until eventually, hours later, the tremors and terrorized pants finally subsided into nothingness, overcome with exhaustion.

It was the hardest thing she’d ever had to do not to reach out to him and soothe his mind.

.

.

She sent a letter to her parents the next morning, seeking to find some small piece of warmth in her dispirited state:

_Hi Mom. Hi Dad._

_It’s been a while since I’ve written to you two, and I’m sorry about that. I guess traveling is just busy work, huh? But I can’t complain with everything I get to see out here. There’s so many places I’d want to bring you both to. Especially you, Dad. I’ll tell you if Hotaru-mura is a village worth adding to your list of places to sightsee, shall I? Sasuke-kun and I are supposed to be arriving there sometime today, and I know how much you love fireflies._

_I miss the two of you more than I could ever hope to tell you. More than I miss anyone else from home, really. It’s been so long since the three of us last sat on the back porch and talked together, drinking tea and laughing for hours. I even miss those homemade cookies that you always put too much salt in, Mom. I guess that’s saying something, isn’t it?_

_I’m still not sure when I’ll be going back to Konoha. But, as always, I’ll let you both know if ever I figure it out, all right? Please take care of yourselves._

_I love you both, so very much._

✿

.

.

It was only when the last lights of the day’s sunset faded out that they finally arrived in Hotaru-mura, the otherwise commonly called Firefly Village. Sakura held no wonder as to how it had attained such a name as they made their way over wooden bridges overlooking long rivers and small ponds glowing prettily with swarms of yellow-sweet fireflies. The scene was so charming that her mood found itself lifting a little on its own, even despite her sweatiness and tired mind (she hadn’t slept well this night, after all).

But, the more she looked on, taking in the awing sights of the dancing, shimmery bugs celebrating the night’s approach, she couldn’t help but to suddenly be reminded of the offer Sasuke had made to her, all those months ago; that night to that place near the Tanzaku Quarters, where they sat together on the grass, side by side and drinking tea, watching a vast, moonlit field.

_(“You should see this place after the raining season.”_

_“What happens after the raining season?”_

_“It’s when the fireflies come here.”)_

Had the raining season passed? she wondered. Or was it too late already? Maybe Sasuke didn’t even remember he’d said anything at all, she mused, eyes narrowing quite sadly.

Then, Sakura looked up at him, finding those lonely, beautiful mismatched eyes locked pensively on the pretty glowing pond ahead, and her breath hitched in her throat. Maybe he did remember, she thought, feeling the gentle flame of tentative hope growing softly in her chest.

Maybe he’d still take them back there, someday.

.

.

They purchased their room of split beds at the only inn inside the village, where Sasuke retired to for the night while Sakura set out to explore the town for a while.

Navigating through the streets of this unique village built entirely above water, Sakura took her time visiting the small merchant stands and tiny shops still open at this hour, chatting up welcoming residents and kind, lighthearted business owners. Before long, she was laughing as she hadn’t in weeks, swept over with warmth. The feelings lifted her heart back ever so steadily to its lately-missing radiant state, tightening her throat with a wave of emotion. She hadn’t even realized how much she needed this until now.

It was a few hours later before Sakura finally chose to retreat back to the inn, chest light and peaceful once more, the heaviness to her shoulders somehow less weighty. There was no lie in her smile, this time.

Sleep came easy.

.

.

.

Rain hit them again three days after they left Hotaru-mura.

It never stopped.

_(“must be getting near, huh?”)_

.

.

They arrived to Ame by noon two days later.

.

.

“I swear, I don’t understand how anyone can choose to live here willingly when it rains like this all the time,” Sakura lamented as she pushed open the front door of their rented room with her foot and stepped inside, arms full of bags. “I mean a few days is fine, even a week really… but who would be crazy enough to permanently move here? I’d lose my mind if I couldn’t see the sun more than six times a year!”

Silence met her in return, but that was fine, because she hadn’t expected Sasuke to answer her anyway. It felt good to simply be back to her cheery self, filled with enough energy to carry positivity through for the both of them.

Putting their provisions and much needed new clothes aside, Sakura turned and fastened the door shut again before running her hands through her soaked hair, shaking out the rain. Gods, she thought, she was so _cold_ and _wet_ —and in dire need of a hot shower!

The mere concept brought a smile to her lips.

But, as she turned around and met the sight of Sasuke, lying on the bed with only arm thrown over his eyes and his face twisted uncomfortably, the smile dropped.

“Sasuke-kun?” Brows furrowing worriedly, she slowly made her way to his side. “Are you okay?”

He didn’t look too well, she thought to herself as she neared him, immediately catching on to his off pattern breaths and full-body shivers. Had Sasuke come in contact with a virus? She couldn’t recall them having run into any ill nin or civilian, lately... which meant whoever had passed this on had likely just recovered from it and yet still been contagious.

Sakura’s gaze softened in sympathy. “Here,” she said, sitting on the edge of the bed and summoning medical chakra to her hands as she reached for him, “let me see if I can—”

Without warning, Sasuke threw his arm out and smacked her hands away from him with enough force to have her flinch. “I’m fine,” he growled, eyes furious as they locked onto hers, face flushed heavily. “I don’t need your help.”

Pulling away from him, Sakura stared at him with mulling lips, a little hurt. Was he really mad at her right now? Or was he simply just cranky because he was ill? She and Sasuke had not been on bad terms ever since their short stay in Hotaru-mura, after all, and she’d just been starting to think that maybe they were finally getting to a place where they could both begin tentatively easing back into what they were.

Or maybe she’d just been wrong.

But, as Sakura sat there and took into consideration Sasuke’s immensely stubborn character, and his lifelong tendency never to rely on anyone, she decided that perhaps she could give him the benefit of the doubt.

“You’re sick,” she settled on telling him, then. Her voice was amiable enough to convey that her intention wasn’t to fight, yet still not quite _soft_. “And I’m a medic, Sasuke-kun. You’re really not going to let me have a look at you?”

Something in his heavy lidded gaze flashed, but she couldn’t discern what. He looked away with his jaw clenched.

Anger promptly flared in her chest at that. “No, you are not—Listen to me, I am _not_ letting you do this to me again. I’ve given you as much space as I could since we left Ishi to allow you some privacy to deal with your feelings, and to come to terms with what happened… but I don’t think I can do it anymore. You’re not getting any better—in fact you don’t look like you even _want_ to be getting better—and not talking to me clearly isn’t solving anything. You _need_ to stop this, Sasuke-kun.”

But there was no response. Again.

Sakura’s fist tightened at her sides. “You—you’re unbelievable,” she murmured, tone dripping with disbelief. She was so _tired_ of this. She needed a break. “All right, _fine_ , you want me to leave you alone, Sasuke-kun?” she asked, brows furrowing with all the frustration in the world. “I’ll leave you alone.”

Pushing herself to her feet, Sakura stalked out of the room, and didn’t look back.

.

.

It was at a sheltered tea venue two blocks away from their inn that Sasuke’s hawk found her, a while later, carrying a message from Konoha.

_Sakura, sweetie, what’s wrong?_

_We love you._

_Mom & Dad_

For the first time since their travels began, she wished she were in Konoha instead.

.

.

It was in Ame’s recently remodeled hospital that Sakura chose to spend the rest of her evening, knowing full well her assistance could only come appreciated with a reputation like hers. For eight comfortably long hours, she traveled back and forth between the hospital’s two most understaffed wings: caring for young terminally sick children who still found reason to smile, and tending to the wounds of her fellow allies always fighting to keep peace.

It was oddly therapeutic, she thought, to spend her night like this; finding answers to diseases unknown, mending lacerated skin and broken bones. Putting people back together.

She wondered how Shizune and Tsunade-shishou were faring back at home.

The cuckoo clock on the staff lounge wall struck midnight, ringing with loud, attention-catching calls, and Sakura turned towards it, blinking at the time. Had her night really gone by so fast?

Then, an image of Sasuke came to mind, one of him shuddering and coughing considerably in the inn bed, alone and entirely debilitated. Her fingers played with the handle of her coffee cup. She should probably head back to the room right now, she decided, biting the inside of her cheek. She needed to check up on his health.

With brisk steps, and inexplicably clammy palms, Sakura headed out of the lounge room to notify the head of hospital of her leave before making her way back to the inn in haste.

It was across the tatami floorboard that she found him, splayed out on his back with a bowl of water half-spilled at his side, shuddering terribly and skin flushed with a heavy fever. Sakura took off running towards him at the sight, nearly tripping over her feet as she scrambled to her knees to assess his state.

“Sasuke-kun,” she whispered, guilt tearing at her heart at the burning feel of him. She should have been there, she thought. She never should have left him so long in this state—she should have never left in the first place! “Sasuke-kun, I’m so sorry.”

At this, Sasuke seemed to stir a bit, mumbling something incoherent.

Swallowing, Sakura cupped his face in a brief, second apology, before reaching for his only arm and wrapping it around her shoulder. It was with expert knowledge but gentle hands that she gathered Sasuke to his feet, taking care to carry most of his weight against her. He seemed to mumble something else as she near-carried him cautiously to the bed, but Sakura couldn’t catch the words.

He was probably delirious from the fever anyway, she told herself, running a hand through his damp hair. She frowned as Sasuke grimaced at the touch, features contorting most uncomfortably, shaking with even more intensity.

She really needed to break that fever.

Pushing herself from the bed, Sakura moved to pick up the half-spilled bowl of water from the floor and trotted to the bathroom. She made quick work of what he hadn’t been able to finish, returning to his side within minutes.

The groan that left his mouth as she spread a cold, wet rag over his hot, burning forehead nearly made her want to smile. She lightly tapped his hand away as he reached to tug it off, face twisting miserably again.

“Don’t, Sasuke-kun,” she said kindly. “You need it.”

Blearily, his eyes slowly opened, staring up at her, unfocused. “…Sakura…?” he murmured, as if unsure he was dreaming.

She smiled at him tenderly, eyes softening. “Of course it’s me, silly,” she replied, moving to cup his cheek. “Who else would it be?”

Something fleeting washed over Sasuke’s features, something like perhaps confusion amidst heavy discomfort. “Thought you left…”

There was something in his voice, Sakura realized with a painful thudding of her heart, like he hadn’t merely thought she’d left the room for a while, but that she’d really left _him_ here; run off without her things, too upset with his distant self to be able to face him again, finally tired of him—

_(had the fever really made him delirious enough to believe such things?)_

And it had hurt him. It had hurt him to think that she’d truly left him, that she’d gone back to Konoha. That she had given up on him.

_(deep down, sasuke never wanted her to leave him.)_

Throat tight, Sakura smiled wider at him, willing away the tears threatening to spill. “I’d never leave you, Sasuke-kun,” she whispered, stroking his cheek. “I told you I wasn’t going anywhere, didn’t I?”

Relief passed visibly over his features. She thought she might have even seen his lip curl a little, though she wasn’t able to make out what he mumbled again before he finally passed out.

Sakura liked to imagine he might have said, “Thank you.”

.

.

_(in the trashcan lay a scroll, crumpled and still slightly wet. in it was a message that brought startling clarity to sasuke’s earlier behavior:_

_“bastard!_

_care to explain why the hell sakura’s parents barged into my apartment demanding to know where you both were? what the hell did you do to sakura? you better not have hurt her again!”)_

.

.

_Hi Mom. Hi Dad._

_I’m okay, I promise. You don’t need to worry, though I’m thankful that you do. Things were just a bit hard for a while._

_But… I think things are looking up, finally. I know Sasuke-kun and I will be all right._

_Miss you, and love you both,_

✿

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m gonna go right ahead and admit that it was hell to write. I had insecurities about this chapter all over the place. I was worried the writing wasn’t good, that the flow wasn’t there, that things were jumping around too fast… and especially that I was having them starting to fix things “too fast” (which, I mean, they didn’t? A solid month and a half passed, at the very least, in this chapter alone lmao). Luckily I have an amazing writer friend, southsidestory, who beta’d for me and reassured me it was all wonderful.
> 
> So there we have it. I hope you all enjoyed!


	21. twenty one

A sick Sasuke, as Sakura had come to learn since the first time he had ever fallen ill when they were still genin, was not a patient man; on his second day of being bedridden—ordered by Sakura herself—he was already quickly growing irritated, his mood positively sour.

_(—if not also somewhat adorable.)_

“I should have gone inside the tent when it started raining,” he muttered lowly, mouth thin and brows furrowed as she’d made him sit up against the edge of the bed that evening. He wasn’t mad at her though—that much was clear in the way he allowed her to help him out of his shirt, too frail to do it himself, never throwing so much as a glare her way. At least he couldn’t see her cheeks reddening with her back to him like this. “I shouldn’t have waited like I did.”

Was it waiting though? Sakura amusedly questioned herself, trying to distract herself from her pounding heart as she reached to smooth two green-glowing hands against his back; she needed to check on his lungs. Sasuke likely would have stayed in that rain all night if the storm hadn’t woken her up—and if she hadn’t so blatantly threatened to drag him inside.

That almost made her smile.

Breathing out slowly, Sakura moved her nimble fingers over his warm skin, and began her examination, swallowing the lump in her throat as she reminded herself to be professional. “That’s true, Sasuke-kun,” she said, hoping he wouldn’t hear the slight nervousness to her tone, “but you’re not sick because you got yourself soaked and slept in those wet clothes, like I told you not to. Freezing and damp weather actually doesn’t have much of anything to do with catching a cold—that’s nothing but a myth, for the most part.”

Beneath her hands, she felt strong muscles move as Sasuke straightened and turned his head curiously, and felt her cheeks flushing a shade deeper. Damn, his body really was—

“Then how did I get sick?”

A groan of pure mortification nearly slipped from her mouth. Why couldn’t she just keep her cool? Gods, it almost felt like she was back to her genin self. Checking up on Sasuke had never really been a problem before—but somehow, lately, the air was always so thick between them in moments like these, bringing relentless fluttering in her belly and constantly stuttering heartbeats in her chest, mind dizzying with the overwhelming desire to linger on his skin with her every touch.

Like now.

_(and it didn’t help that Sasuke stiffened all the time either, the tip of his ears reddening and jaw clenching visibly, clearly just as affected by this as she was.)_

“Sakura?”

Snapping out of her thoughts, Sakura blinked and turned her attention to the man in front of her, finding him half turned to look at her properly, seemingly a bit concerned. But there was a surprising rush of heat as their eyes locked, sending her stomach churning all too wildly. Yet neither of them looked away, and she cleared her throat to diffuse some tension.

“Ah, um, well my guess is you picked up the flu virus at Hotaru-mura,” she replied as casually as she could, pulling her hands away from him at last. She didn’t want him to notice her trembling. “Or maybe from those civilians we helped two days before we got here. You know, the ones whose wagon was stuck? Maybe one of them recently recovered from it, but was still contagious.”

“Wouldn’t you have picked it up, too?”

Smiling gently, Sakura felt herself relax a bit, and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “It’s different for everyone,” she began to explain, thankful that he asked. Talking about medicine and the complications of the human body had always been strangely soothing for her. “We all have different immune systems, and some people’s genetics are designed in such a way that they’re more prone to catching some strains of viruses and bacterial infections than others, while some individuals are much more resilient to getting sick in general.

“And then there’s also the factor that once someone has been infected with the strain of a cold or flu virus, they can’t be infected by it again once they’ve recovered because their bodies develop antibodies specifically against it. So you see, with someone like me who works in a hospital and is constantly in contact with those strains—well, I guess you could say I’m a little more resilient.” Then, she paused for a moment, before adding, “I also perform some immune system enforcing jutsus from time to time, so there’s that, too.”

Sasuke simply nodded in return. “Ah,” he said. “Makes sense.”

Always a man of few words, Sakura thought, feeling her lips curl again. She didn’t know why it made her feel so ridiculously giddy.

“Well, anyway,” she said. “It shouldn’t be much longer until what you have goes away enough to let you travel. Your lungs look much better than yesterday, and your body seems to be recovering faster all in all. We might have to take it easy for a while, but at least you’ll be able to get out without worrying about tiring too easily and getting dizzy spells.”

Something like relief flashed across his mismatched eyes. Nodding once more, he murmured, “Thanks.”

She smiled kindly back to him. “So,” she started, “where are we heading this time anyhow?”

Sasuke shrugged. “Kusa, probably. It’s only about three weeks’ worth of travels from here.”

He finally reached for the shirt at his side, then, and moved to slip it back on again. He seemed to be having some difficulty, however, prompting Sakura to reach out and help him once more. Both of them flinched when her chest accidentally pressed against his naked back in the process, yet neither of them made a move to put any distance between them, carrying on the task instead.

When they were done, Sakura pulled away, blushing once more, and swallowed the tight lump in her throat. She wasn’t sure if she was imagining things, but she thought she saw him swallow, too.

“Sounds fair,” she said, then, still unsure of how to handle this thing burning and boiling between them. Were they even ready? “We—we can add another week to that timeline, maybe, since you won’t be able to move as fast or as long in your state.”

Surprisingly, Sasuke didn’t seem to take offense at this. “Yeah.”

Embarrassed as she was about the feelings brewing between them, Sakura couldn’t help but to smile at him anyway; she was glad that they had since gone past their no talking stage, that Sasuke had once more stopped trying to pull away from her as he had lately.

Maybe she’d finally knocked some sense into him.

.

.

“One more day and then I think you’ll be good to travel again,” she told him the following afternoon, once she’d finished checking up on his health again. Her green eyes crinkled as he grumbled in response, yet still slumped back into the bed without further complaints, a deep frown to his lips.

Sakura put a hand to her mouth to hide her growing smile. He really was quite childish when he was sick, wasn’t he? That part had never changed about him, she thought, shaking her head lightly. Maybe she could take a little pity on him.

Patting him reassuringly on the shoulder, she mused aloud, “I think you’re well enough not to be in bedrest, though.”

It was too comical how quickly Sasuke’s head snapped in her direction, mismatched eyes blinking with something like lingering disbelief. He was probably wondering if he’d heard her right.

“Well, what are you waiting for? Do you need help getting up?” she asked, her smile gaining quite the teasing edge. “Hm. Maybe you’re not ready to get out of bedrest after a—”

Quicker than she would have expected from someone in his state, Sasuke was up to his feet in the next moment, hand clenched around her wrist and eyes hard with something like reprimand. “Don’t you dare. Come on, let’s go somewhere that’s not here.”

Sakura couldn’t help but to burst into laughter at this, allowing him to drag her along.

_(but gods, if his hand wasn’t warm on her skin.)_

.

.

They made their way through every shop catching their attention that evening, taking their time to look, to ponder, to buy, scouring for supplies well past the day’s sunset. Neither of them felt any great inclination to go back to their room just yet—Sasuke in particular, she presumed, considering his recent days of ordered bedrest.

It was only when the town shops started organizing their closures and when Sasuke’s body began to unmistakably tire that the two of them chose to finally head back to their inn, more content than they’d been in months. It was a little too amusing, she couldn’t help but to admit, to think that a day of shopping could lighten the mood of even the famously stoic Sasuke Uchiha. Even as he was now, Sakura couldn’t imagine herself ever pegging him as the type who would enjoy such a thing.

_(but, perhaps, maybe their shopping spree hadn’t been what had lifted his mood at all.)_

The faintest redness of a blush tainted her cheeks at that, but somehow, Sakura didn’t think she’d feel embarrassed if Sasuke came to notice it. They had a nice evening to themselves, after all; she liked to think he might have even been blushing too, if he’d never learned too many years ago to exert such perfect control over himself.

_(well, almost perfect. or had he simply allowed himself to be earnest when they were alone, just the two of them, surrounded by the comforting sounds of quietude?)_

“Are you hungry?” she heard him ask, then, just as they’d turned the corner of their inn’s street.

Blinking, Sakura peered at the man beside her, and swiped a rain-dampened lock away from her face. “Hm? Oh, yeah actually. Kinda starving.”

As if on cue, her stomach growled in loud protest. Sakura reddened impossibly.

“Right,” Sasuke said, evidently amused as his lips quirked a bit. “Why don’t you bring the bags to our room while I get us some food?”

Sticking out her tongue at him, Sakura only grabbed the bags from his lone hand and sprinted off into the rain, face still flushed but lips twisted in the tiniest smile.

She’d bet anything he had one, too.

.

.

The butterflies couldn’t stop fluttering in her belly when she finally got inside their rented room. Cheeks still painted with a pleased little blush, Sakura couldn’t help but to wonder about the last time her bond with Sasuke had felt this strong, about the last time they had been this close. It had been a while, hadn’t it? Even in Ishi, there had still been some distance between them amidst their gentle moments, still pulled apart by the events that had taken place in Suna… but now, as he had been today, Sasuke seemed more comparable to the time they visited the Hawanaki family: gentle, warm, and completely open to her—though still not quite ready to share too many affectionate touches.

_(it was a step forward, in her opinion. even if she missed his touch, his embraces… his long, sweet kisses.)_

Setting aside the bags on the floor, Sakura glanced at the alarm clock by the bedside before looking down at their array of supplies and new belongings, pondering how much time she had. Sasuke wasn’t likely to come back before the next forty-five minutes to an hour, which should be giving her ample enough time to take a quick shower before setting away everything. Nodding conclusively to herself, she shrugged off her slightly misty see-through raincoat and threw it aside, doing the same to her belt, and directing her attention to the buckles securing her shirt next. Once unclasped, the shirt fell gracelessly to the floor, leaving her upper build all but exposed, save for the thin bindings around her supple chest.

It wasn’t until she sat down on the bed in an easier attempt to take off her shoes that she noticed something in the reflection of the mirror only a few feet away from her—something that tore the breath right out of her lungs: Sasuke, standing there completely frozen by the barely opened door (which she had forgotten to close, apparently), mismatched eyes as wide as she’d ever seen them, and mouth parted in surprise.

If she’d had any voice at all, Sakura felt like she would have screamed, would have yelped, would have _made some kind of noise_ of utter humiliation to snap them both back into proper minds—but instead she was breathless, stunned into near-paralysis… refusing to believe this was really happening to them.

But then his eyes shifted, ever-so-slowly running over her smooth naked flesh, shock bleeding into burning want; her lungs constricted, heart beginning to pound thunderously inside her chest, growing flushed with the intensity of the gaze he placed on her. Had he looked at her like this then, back in her bedroom all those months ago? She couldn’t remember feeling like this, couldn’t remember her blood running so hot, stomach twisting with such tight knots she felt her legs would probably buckle underneath her should she try standing up.

_(and he didn’t seem to have noticed anything at all, beyond her state of undress. could he see the mirror, from where he stood? probably not, it seemed—if he had, he surely would have caught on that she was aware of his presence by the mere look on her face.)_

Emboldened, enraptured, Sakura urged herself to continue on with her task, trying her best to still her shaking hands as she slid off her shoes. She took a deep breath when they clattered to the floor, gathering herself to her suddenly unsteady legs, feeling the simmering heat of his gaze as she moved to pull down at her shorts. In the reflection, she watched as his fist tightened at his side, watched as his throat bobbed with a heavy swallow, jaw clenching most visibly as she shimmied out of her shorts, his eyes darkening with desire. She nearly caught her feet around them when she moved to slip them off, too affected by the sheer ferocity of his lust.

Arm slipping loosely around herself, it was only when she’d considered looking at him over her shoulder that she finally saw him move, stepping aside from the door and turning away from her to lean his back against the wall. She could only barely see him swallow again, reaching to run his lone hand through his hair, cheeks seemingly burning red.

_(yearning. feverish. embarrassed._

_…ashamed?)_

Knees trembling, belly churning, Sakura quickly assembled her clothes in her arms before padding as quietly as she could towards the bathroom, somehow now eager to flee. Had she really just done this? Had she really just deliberately undressed while knowing Sasuke was watching? She couldn’t believe it—what was she thinking!

Still, her mind murmured to herself, heart pounding up a storm, to know how much Sasuke wanted her…

Her stomach coiled in tight knots again; her blush darkened even more.

She wanted him just as much, too.

.

.

_(“oh—um… back already, sasuke-kun?”_

_“…yeah. the usual restaurant was closed.”_

_he couldn’t look at her. she didn’t wonder why._

_“a-ah. is that so?” sakura swallowed tightly. “then… i guess we’ll just go somewhere else.”)_

.

.

They left to finally continue their travels in the next morning.

Nothing was ever the same.

.

.

He stared at her all the time, now, no matter what she was doing. At first, Sakura tried her best to ignore his silently simmering longing, to carry on with each task and mundane conversations like she wasn’t noticing his every blazing look—but sometimes, when he ran those mismatched eyes over her like that, she found that she couldn’t even breathe.

Especially when he glimpsed part of her bare, toned stomach every time her shirt rode up, igniting his gaze like a wild forest fire. He always made her feel so faint, his desire to put his lips to the warm skin there unmistakable.

It had her beginning to wonder if she’d done the right thing at all back in that room, all but two weeks ago. Clearly neither of them we ready—were they? She couldn’t even bear to ponder on it. With every day that passed, this passion between them only seemed to grow, to thicken, to burn—and Sakura had a hunch that if things kept going like this, it wouldn’t be very long before it unleashed a beast.

One they wouldn’t be able to control.

_(and when their bond was in a place like this, still fragile and healing… she wasn’t sure it would be good for them. she didn’t want to risk it._

_they had time—they had so, so much time.)_

And yet, it was hard to feel regretful about what she did when the _want_ she brought to surface seemingly gave Sasuke reason to start touching her once more, light and gentle like had so many months ago, doubtlessly seeking to close the distance between them.

_(something she almost felt emotional about, when in the past few weeks before ame he spent every waking moment trying to do otherwise.)_

It felt nothing short of amazing, in ways she couldn’t explain.

But, on a fading afternoon, just days away from the border of Kusagakure as they bathed in a pool of a small waterfall under a sky of red and orange lights, Sakura finally understood that she wasn’t the only one who felt wary of this boiling tension.

_(that she wasn’t the only one who thought something as gratifying as the pleasure of sex was worth risking their still-mending relationship.)_

“Do you want me to wash your back?” she asked, so hesitantly, arms wrapped sheepishly around herself as to protect her modesty. Even if her body was submerged in the cool water, she couldn’t help but to feel overtly exposed where she stood, completely naked, only a few feet away from Sasuke (who was equally as bare).

They hadn’t wanted to bathe at the same time, hadn’t wanted to break out of their habit of taking turns—but Ame’s guards had warned them greatly of the areas around Kusa, insisting they had been swarmed with rogues as of late; traveling companions were strongly recommended to stick close by, always within sight of each other. Neither of them had felt particularly comfortable with the prospect of watching one another wash, leading them here.

Somehow, it wasn’t easier like this.

Swallowing, Sakura glanced behind her shyly, heart beginning to pound away at the sight of his wet, strong figure, temptingly dripping water. “Sasuke-kun…?”

A strange sound left his throat. She saw him swallow, too. “...I don't think that's a good idea.”

Blush darkening, Sakura merely sank deeper into the water and sighed, relieved. She didn’t think she would have been able to do it, anyway.

.

.

He challenged her to a spar, later that evening. There was something about the tone of his voice when he asked that made her shiver.

Sakura accepted anyway—it had been a long time since she’d had any sort of proper training.

But in all the times they’d sparred before, Sakura found that it had never been quite like this; there was a thickness to the air between them today, a crackling force of frenzied heat that nearly demanded to be reckoned with as they parried and evaded each other’s blows. Sasuke didn’t seem to hold much interest in ninjutsu, either, as he usually would, body always moving with vehemence into her immediate space, pushing and pulling and twisting her into any lockhold he could manage. It nearly made her tremble, exhilarated by the pure, overwhelming power he displayed, sending her heart thundering loudly against her chest, cheeks flushing unbearably.

But she wasn’t going down without a fight.

Making good use of her inhuman strength and long-mastered skill of flexibility, Sakura growled and broke out of his every grasp without fail, retaliating with tricks of her own, setting about a contest for dominance; for the next full hour, the two spent most of their time trying to recklessly chase each other down, omitting their usual use of weapons and preferred techniques in favor of manhandling and taijutsu, constantly grabbing, pinning, and trapping each other against the dirt or surrounding trees.

She could win, she knew, if only she could pin him down—her long years of training with Tsunade-shishou would make sure of that—but Sasuke was a quick thinker, too, and a lot more agile on his feet than she was. She only needed to catch him off guard. She only needed a single breath’s moment, the barest second of opportunity, just enough to—

In the end, despite her best efforts, Sasuke had her fastened to the ground, single hand pressed down on the wrists of her chakra-bound hands, with his two strong legs locked around her own. Dizzied, breathless, Sakura could hardly find it in herself to be disappointed by her loss—not when he was holding himself above her like this: panting, sweating, mismatched eyes wild with burning hunger, his body so warm against her own. She couldn’t even bear to think with how thickly the air hung between them, heavy with want.

A bead of sweat ran down his temple, then, catching her full attention; mouth parting, she watched as it rolled down his cheek, so deliciously tantalizing, before ending at his chin. Her eyes instantly drew themselves to his mouth, equally parted and soft, sending hot little quivers in her stomach. How long had it been since they’d kissed? She couldn’t even remember now. It couldn’t have been more than two months, but it felt like so long ago. Gods, she missed these moments so muc—

“Sakura,” he whispered, then, sending her gaze flickering up to his own.

Her breath caught in her throat at the sight she found. She’d never seen him look at her like this before, so full of longing and love, yet strangely remorseful. Like he wanted it too; like he wanted nothing more than to lean down and reacquaint his lips with hers, kissing her for hours… but he couldn’t. Not like this.

Not when they were still healing, and he was still so undeserving. Not when all he could think about was how he could tear her clothes off right now.

_(a thought that made her shudder, made her yearn, made her want to indulge—but they weren’t ready, she knew. they had too much to lose with this. she could wait.)_

Swallowing the thickness in her throat, Sakura stared up at him, cheeks flushed, chest heaving, trying her best to ignore the way his warm breath puffed against her. He was right, she thought. No matter how much her mind was screaming at her, she knew he was right.

And so, looking away, she finally relented, “I yield, Sasuke-kun.”

Just a little longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a reminder, the rating will not change. I'll be writing some scenes leading up to sex, but not the actual sex itself. I really don't find that any kind of smut would fit in this story because of the way it's been set up so far. Just feels too pure, and like it would take away from the story!


	22. twenty two

“There!” she declared, lips adorning a most pleased smile as she drew her hands away, green glowing chakra slowly receding. “Looks like you’re all set, Sasuke-kun! I don’t think you’ll be needing any more healing for your arm. Does it feel okay?”

Cheery, she watched as Sasuke stayed silent for a moment, merely observing his stump as he cautiously moved it around, evidently testing the range of motion; expectedly, he seemed satisfied with the results, urging her smile to widen even more.

_(she wasn’t the best at her job for nothing, after all.)_

“I haven’t been able to move it so well in months,” he murmured, finally, lowering his arm. He glanced at her, gaze light and warm with ever-present respect. “Thank you.”

Sakura beamed. “Of course! I told you I’d get your arm back to how it was, didn’t I?” she said, cheeks flushing slightly. “You know I don’t make empty promises.”

Sasuke gave a hum to this, quiet and content. For a time, they only looked at each other fondly—until, in a fit of seemingly pure impulse, Sasuke reached out to brush back a few fallen strands from her face, fingers lingering on her temple. He pulled away quickly in the next breath, features sobering instantly; blushing, wide-eyed, Sakura could do nothing but stare at him, stilled in surprise by the entirely unexpected gesture.

And it wasn’t the first time something like this had happened.

Ever since that long, sweaty evening they’d chased and pinned each other breathless onto the forest floor, instinctual affection had become something of the norm for them. Ruled by the burning want that had slowly taken root between them weeks ago—one they didn’t yet feel ready to confront but which still simmered silently underneath amidst every word exchanged and every look given—the two of them found it hard to control whatever tender urge overcame them, brimmed too-full with passion.

_(sweet as these expressions were, in the end, they did nothing but complicate things; combined with the heated looks they still couldn’t seem to stop exchanging, such little gestures of earnest love only served to test their limits, to crack their currently much-needed composure.)_

Clearing her throat, Sakura looked away, ignoring how her skin still buzzed from his light touch, forcing herself to focus instead on the scenery of Kusa’s semi-crowded park beneath them. It was ridiculous how much everything he did affected her lately, she thought, biting the inside of her cheek. Leaning back properly, she propped her hands behind herself and watched as young families ran and laughed and ate together, swinging her legs over the thick tree branch they’d earlier chosen to laze upon. She tried not to let herself be distracted when she heard Sasuke shift beside her, likely also trying to find a more comfortable position.

And yet, barely a few seconds had passed before her gaze flickered up to meet his anyway, pulled by the quiet yearning that always lingered beneath. Her cheeks warmed terribly when she found him watching her already, those damning eyes of his as gentle as they were wanting.

Thankfully, the call of one of Sasuke’s hawks broke the flustering moment, capturing both of their attentions completely. They looked up in sync.

“Takauji,” Sasuke acknowledged, instinctively holding out his arm to allow his friend a proper landing. “Thought you might be coming back soon.”

“He’s always the quickest isn’t he?” Sakura conceded, the kindest smile slipping to her lips. Tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, she scooted closer to his form, doing her best to ignore the warmth of his body as she reached for their messenger bird. “Hey Takauji,” she said, moving to tenderly stroke the back of its neck. “I’ve been waiting for your letters. Have you brought me any good news from Konoha?”

Beside her, Sasuke huffed, sounding distinctively amused; Sakura resisted the urge to push him for it.

As she untied the scrolls from Takauji’s feet and started sifting through them, however, her brows furrowed heavily.

“What?” Sasuke asked, having evidently noticed a change to her expression.

“No letter from Naruto,” she murmured back, filtering through them again. She frowned. “That’s odd.”

After all, since the beginning of their travels, never once had Naruto failed to answer back, no matter how hectic his life became. Perhaps he’d started Hokage training already, but Sakura doubted that. Was everything okay back home?

“You worry too easily.”

Breaking from thought, Sakura blinked, and looked up to the man beside her, heart stumbling at the gentle reassurance she found. “H-Huh? Oh, um, well—It’s just—you know. It’s weird. He’s always gone out of his way to reply to us before…”

Sasuke shrugged, still unperturbed. “Maybe he’s on an important mission,” he said. “Takauji probably left his letter with Kakashi.”

“Your hawks do that?”

“Sometimes.”

Relieved, Sakura let her stiff shoulders fall, warmth spreading to her chest. A small, appreciative smile curled at her lips. “You’re probably right, then, Sasuke-kun,” she said softly. “He’s likely just out of the village right now.”

Sasuke merely hummed in response, noncommittal, but he looked strangely pleased as he went to gently brush the nape of his hawk. Somehow, she doubted he would have put so little effort in feigning apathy were people actually aware of them right now. For that, she did her best not to giggle at him, turning her attention to the letters in her lap instead.

“Do you only write to Naruto?” she asked a moment later, when she’d filtered through them all once more and abruptly realized none of them were for him. There was a teasing edge to her tone, and judging by the flat look Sasuke gave her, he’d caught on to it, too.

“I write to Kakashi, too, at times,” he said, trying to coax Takauji onto his shoulder. A smile cracked to her lips when his hawk took off towards a tree branch instead, seemingly disturbed.

“But not often?” she asked.

Sasuke wrinkled his nose, looking vaguely annoyed. “No,” he said, brows furrowing. “He always takes too long to reply.”

Eyes widening, Sakura burst out laughing at this, completely caught off guard. “Awe, does that hurt your feelings, Sasuke-kun?” she cooed, grinning when he lightly shoved her in response. She shoved him back, smile softening to something lovelier. “We’ve got awfully busy teammates this year, it seems,” she said, swaying her legs over the branch again.

Sasuke snorted. “We’re not a team anymore, Sakura.”

“We’ll _always_ be a team, Sasuke-kun,” she replied, utterly serious despite her cheerfulness.

He rolled his eyes in return, but there was the slightest curve to his lips, inciting her to smile, too. She wanted so much to lean against him and put her head on his shoulder, right then, overcome with affection—but the laugh of two young children starting a tickling war had her anchored, disciplined; able to resist these tender impulses she and Sasuke usually so easily succumbed to, lately.

So instead, Sakura turned back to the letters in her lap again, and finally began to read them. There surprisingly wasn’t much that had changed in Konoha ever since their last news, she recited to her traveling companion: Mom and Dad were doing well, and had even taken to gardening lately; Shizune-san had finally finished training new medics for hospital work, leaving her and Tsunade-shishou to at last be able to step back a little; Kiba had even started dating someone, and word was around the village that irony itself couldn’t have given him a better match.

It was only when Ino’s letter came that she froze, every thought blanking from her mind, her green, green eyes unblinkingly fixed onto the parchment.

“Sakura?” she distantly heard Sasuke ask, his voice suddenly so far away to her senses. “Sakura, what’s wrong?”

But she couldn’t even respond, too caught up by these news, by this completely unexpected turn of events—by these three simple little words written so plainly on the letter she held. Was this real? Everything around her seemed like white noise, like fading dreams. This couldn’t be happening.

“Sakura, what happene—”

The sharpest, shrillest screech tumbled from her mouth, and Sakura suddenly curled into herself, clutching the scroll and grinning as widely as she ever had before. “Oh my god!” she gushed. “Oh my _god_.”

Sasuke blinked. “What?”

“Ino is getting married!” she squealed. “She’s getting _married_ , Sasuke-kun! I can’t believe I wasn’t there to see Sai propose—oh god that must have been _such_ a sight…”

Something strange flickered across his expression to that, but Sakura was too excited to discern what it was exactly, launching herself instead in a too-enthusiastic tirade of delight for her friend’s engagement.

.

.

It was only when they retreated to bed that night that this something finally made itself known again.

“Why didn’t you go back to Konoha back then?” Sasuke mumbled, the words so quiet even in the darkness of their room.

_(a fleeting thought he hadn’t been able to keep to himself, judging by the sleepiness of his voice.)_

Half-conscious, and taken off guard, Sakura blinked open her eyes blearily, brows furrowing with confusion. “Sasuke-kun… I thought we were past this already,” she said, sounding just as careful as she was sleepy. She didn’t understand where this was coming from. “Did something happen?”

“That’s not what I meant,” Sasuke murmured, rolling onto his side to look at her. His gaze was so heavy lidded, like he’d only just been minutes from dozing off himself, but his mind had kept him awake. “I just… don’t understand.”

“Don’t understand what?”

“Why you stayed. I treated you wrong. You had every reason to leave.”

Ah… this again, she thought, amused. Exhaling the most patient sigh, Sakura smiled at him a little, hoping he could make it out in the dimness that submerged them. She wished they’d had the sense to keep their blinds open earlier.

“You know,” she began, refraining from the urge to reach out to him, to cup his face, “I feel like we’ve had conversations like this before. Where you do something wrong, and you regret it. Then you apologize for it… but every time you do, it’s like you’re expecting me not to forgive you. Like you’re expecting every mistake you’ve made towards me to be the last straw.” Her eyes softened here, voice lowering to something sweeter, gentler. “Has nothing I’ve said to you been getting through your head, Sasuke-kun?”

Sasuke swallowed audibly. “…Sometimes I’m just convinced you’d have a better life without me,” he eventually said, voice heavy with something that made her heart ache.

Sometimes is better than all the time, she almost said. Instead, Sakura sighed once more, and told him softly, “A life without you isn’t a better life, Sasuke-kun. I’d know it.”

“You would have been there for Ino’s engagement if it weren’t for me.”

Oh, she mused, blinking, clarity finally finding her at last. So that’s what this was about. She almost wanted to smile.

“Is that what bothered you today, Sasuke-kun?” she asked. “Knowing I would have liked to be there?”

His expression shifted in the dark; Sakura wasn’t sure, but she thought she could make out a frown to his mouth. Still, when he answered nothing, she knew she was right.

“I’ve never regretted coming with you, you know,” she went on. “And I’ll never regret it, no matter what happens and what I miss out on in Konoha. Because I’m with you.”

_(it was nothing she hadn’t told him before, nothing he hadn’t already heard… but she hoped he would believe her, this time.)_

A long, slow sigh slipped from his lips, now. Conflicted. “Sakura…” he whispered. “I don’t know if I can give you what you want.”

“What I want?” Sakura echoed softly, curious. “Sasuke-kun, what is it that you think that I want?”

The silence was back.

“I’m not… expecting anything from you,” she said, finally moving to touch his cheek. “I know this won’t be like a fairy tale love story, and that’s fine—I never wanted any of that since I fell in love with you. Remember what I told you at the hospital? What I want is you, Sasuke-kun. Only you.” Carefully, sweetly, she stroked his skin, and smiled. “I want to make you happy. And I want you to make me happy. So let’s be happy together, okay?”

Sasuke swallowed again. Gently, his strong, calloused hand closed around her wrist, and slowly pulled her away.

But he didn’t let go.

“You think I can make you happy?" he asked, voice low, but honest all the same.

It made her chest warm.

Giving her most affectionate chuckle, Sakura merely beamed in response, and reached over to thumb his chin with her free hand. “You already make me happy, dummy. You just keep missing it.”

Something like a soft, satisfied breath left his lips. Acceptance, Sakura was sure. Her smile lessened to something more tender.

They fell asleep shortly after that, Sasuke’s hand still gently enclosed around her wrist.

.

.

In her dreams, she felt the brush of his fingers against her cheek, the warmth of his breath on her skin. Felt the press of his mouth to her temple, so soft and light, barely even there.

_(perfect affections she now dearly missed.)_

The faint click of a carefully closed door stirred her from sleep, pulling her away from it all. Drowsily, slowly, Sakura’s eyes blinked open, taking in the emptiness of the other half of her bed with mild surprise. Had Sasuke just left? she wondered, reaching out to sleepily touch his side of the mattress. It was still warm.

It was then that she noticed the thin paper splayed on Sasuke’s pillow. Her heart quickened for a moment, curious fingers reaching to take it. 

_Meet me at the northern bridge at noon,_ it read. _I want to show you something._

A small, bashful smile slipped to her lips. Something about this morning felt different—better. Sakura touched a hand to her forehead, right where his lips had smoothed over. Maybe she hadn’t dreamed about it after all.

.

.

_Pig,_

_I need details, or your ass is fried when I come back. And by that I mean I’ll make sure you somehow won’t fit into your shiromuku on your wedding day. Mark my words._

_With love,_

✿

_P.s. Congratulations! I’m so, so happy for you. You deserve it, Ino. And I promise I’ll make it back in time._

.

.

Strangely, Sasuke wasn’t there when she got to the bridge a mere two minutes before their meeting was due. Bemused, Sakura dug out his note from her pocket and looked it over again, brows raising as she confirmed that she hadn’t misread it at all.

Odd, she thought, putting it away once more as her eyes flickered to her surroundings. After all, Sasuke had always been the one in their team to arrive first to anything, punctuality long nailed into his habits by courtesy of his notoriously traditional family. For as long as she had known him, he had never been late unless he was sick.

The thought had her pausing, for a moment. No, she reasoned, shaking her head, he couldn’t have fallen this terribly ill again since only this morning—and if Sasuke hadn’t felt well then, she was certain he wouldn’t have asked her to meet him here.

So where was he?

Frowning, Sakura turned to an old woman feeding bread to a small swarm of ducks in the river below, hoping to get some answers. Just as she’d opened her mouth to ask whether or not this was truly the northern bridge, though, a loud, booming voice called, “Sakura-chan!”

In that single moment, her heart stopped in her chest; her mind blanked completely. She couldn’t even breathe anymore.

Because she would know that voice anywhere.

“Naruto?” she whispered, spinning around so fast she nearly gave herself instant whiplash.

A wave of mixed emotions tore at her when she saw them: her three boys—her three favorite people—all walking towards her, pure contentment to their features. Sakura took off running at them before she even realized, chest constricting and wetness welling quickly at her eyes. “Naruto!” she exclaimed, shrill and too-excited. “Kaka-sensei!”

Expectedly, Naruto came forward to meet her first, and together, they collided into a mess of grins and overwhelming feelings; arms wrapping tight around each other and hands gripping fistfuls of clothes, unwilling to let go. Laughing, Naruto spun her around a bit, and Sakura couldn’t help the tears that escaped her, heart too full of happiness, affection.

_(it really had been far too long since she’d seen them.)_

Closing her eyes, Sakura buried her face into her best friend’s neck, holding him tighter. “I missed you…” she whispered, voice thick from crying. “So much.”

“Yeah…” Naruto said, smiling against her hair and squeezing his arms around her, too. “Missed you too, Sakura-chan.”

Pulling herself away from him, Sakura smiled back, then looked over to the two approaching men. Shifting towards them, she wiped her tears away, and threw her arms around Kakashi once he was close enough to hug.

“And I missed you too, Kaka-sensei!” she said, holding him as tightly she had Naruto. He was too tall to put her head on his shoulder, still, so she settled for resting it on his chest instead. A small giggle left her mouth when he patted her head affectionately in return—an expected gesture, considering his somewhat reserved nature. Though she knew he had missed her just as terribly when she pulled back and saw those eyes crinkling fondly down at her.

For a split moment, her eyes drifted from Kakashi and to his side, meeting Sasuke’s. But he looked so fond, as he watched her, so pleased—she couldn’t help but to quickly look away once more, turning to the teammates she’d missed so much more than she felt she could express.

“So what are you guys doing here?” she asked, smiling from ear to ear as she stepped closer and locked both of her arms around theirs. “Hokage business?”

“Fortunately, no,” Kakashi replied, throwing something of a knowing glance Sasuke’s way. Sakura grew perplexed. “Though I’ll probably be passing by the Kusa’s council office anyway… it would be awfully rude for the Hokage not to say hello, wouldn’t you say?”

Sakura giggled in reply.

“Actually, Sakura-chan, we decided to come visit you both when we learned from your letters that you were gonna be in Kusa,” Naruto went on to explain instead, grinning brightly as he rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. “Thought we’d surprise you, since your birthday is coming up and all.”

Sakura merely pulled them closer, giving them both awed, affectionate glances. “Well I’m glad you did,” she said softly, heart warm. “It’s so good to see you two.”

When Naruto grinned in return, and Kakashi’s eyes crinkled again, she went on teasingly, “But you know, my birthday isn’t until a few weeks from now, you guys!”

Naruto waved her away, making a sound of dismissal. “Who cares! You guys will be gone who knows where in a few weeks, so we’re gonna celebrate it now!”

True enough, Sakura thought, shaking her head as she laughed.

“And you know, Sakura-chan, you should be thanking the bastard as well!” her long-missed friend went on, grinning again. “He was in on it a little—I sent him a letter this morning asking him to help us out. I mean, sure, he just had to get you to meet him somewhere… but without him I don’t know how we would have gone about it, really!”

Her heart jumped at that, gaze instantly shifting Sasuke’s way, breath catching in her throat. In response, his mismatched eyes softened again, mouth lifting slightly at a corner, sending her heart rushing with unbelievable warmth. Sakura felt the tears welling up again; she gave him her most thankful smile, full of love and the purest delight.

_See?_ she wanted to say, wanted him to hear. _You can make me happy, Sasuke-kun._

“All right, who’s hungry?” she declared, then, looking out in turn at each of her teammates. “Because I’m starving!”

Naruto pumped a fist in the air. “Yeah! Me too!” he cheered, starting ahead towards the road leading to the main square. “Come on, let’s go get some ramen!”

“ _No_ ,” both Kakashi and Sasuke choired, sending him pouting pitiably.

Smiling, Sakura shook her head, feeling her heart warm once more. Gods, she’d really missed this.

.

.

For hours, the four of them talked, and ate, and laughed together, catching up on time lost and oblivious to the day slipping away from them. Naruto told stories of the missions he’d been on and the Hokage training he had begun (more tedious than he’d anticipated, much to his dismay), and Kakashi took every opportunity to make teasing remarks, to no one’s surprise. It had been a long while since they’d been like this, since their conversations were so constant—while monthly team reunions had become the norm at some point, it had been forever since they’d felt so nostalgic, so timelessly perfect.

_(ever since sasuke’s return after the war, really.)_

But there was no denying how different it felt, too, now that she and Sasuke shared a different bond; how subtly all of their dynamics had changed now that their relationship had deepened to something greater, more intimate. It felt more flustering, somehow, as they both took notice of the transparently knowing looks Naruto and Kakashi exchanged in response to whatever interactions Sasuke had with her. At times, Sakura suspected maybe they were presuming a little _too_ much about them, considering the lewd way their brows raised every time their gazes lingered too long on each other. The thought made her blush.

_(they weren’t wrong, though—not really.)_

Still, Sakura could only be happy they were here. And she wasn’t the only one, it seemed, judging by the pinky wrapping tenderly around her own under the cover of their table.

A coy smile curved to her lips. It had been too long since Sasuke had looked this completely at peace with himself, she mused, holding onto his pinky tighter. She hadn’t seen him like this since that week they spent at the Hawanakis’ home.

This was exactly what he needed, she realized. This was exactly the reassurance he’d been missing. To be surrounded once more by the three people who loved him more than anything for exactly who he was.

_(somehow, she knew this time he was finally going to be okay.)_

Feeling more of his fingers curl around her own, Sakura tucked a lock of hair behind her ear with her free hand, cheeks reddening deeper. Sparing Sasuke a tender look that she was sure the others noticed, she turned to their teammates once more and smiled brightly, forever grateful.

.

.

“You two seem better,” Naruto commented, once they had both set off in search of desserts, leaving Kakashi and Sasuke to talk specificities about a brief mission. He smiled warmly. “I take it whatever happened in these past few weeks was resolved?”

“Kind of,” Sakura said, always honest with him. He understood Sasuke best, after all. “He just had a bit of a setback in Ishi,” she went on, eyes saddening as she thought about what happened. It still made her ache, in some ways. “He’s been hard on himself lately. More than he’s ever been before. But seeing you two… I think that really helped him more than I could.”

“That’s not true,” Naruto replied with ease, locking his arms behind his head. “I think he already knew everything he came to realize today because of you. Kaka-sensei and I just helped nail it in, that’s all.”

The utter confidence with which he spoke made her heart warm. “You think so?” she asked, almost bashfully.

He grinned in response. “I _know_ so,” Naruto said, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. “You’re Sakura-chan! There’s no one else who could make the bastard feel more worthy and loved than you.”

Grinning back, she said, “Well, there’s you.”

He shook his head at that. “Sakura-chan… I love Sasuke like he’s my own brother, and I know he feels the same too,” he said, smile softening to something more solemn, more earnest. “But the way you love him is different—and believe me, there’s something about that which hits harder sometimes.”

Blushing, Sakura smiled, and fiddled with the necklace Sasuke had gifted her so many months ago. “I hope so,” she murmured.

Satisfied, Naruto tugged her close in a reassuring sideway hug, and grinned again. “So. Now that we’re on the subject about you two… Has something happened yet?”

With the way he waggled his eyebrows, it was all too clear what he was insinuating. Sakura reddened impossibly, her soft mood instantly dissipating and giving way to complete irritation.

“Naruto, you idiot!” she growled, delivering a good punch to his shoulder as she glared. She couldn’t believe him! “We haven’t seen each other in almost a year and you want to ask me about _that_?”

Naruto whined at the hit, but didn’t let go of her anyway. “I’m your best friend!” he lamented. “To the both of you! Don’t I get to have some sort of insight?”

She scowled, the blush still hot on her cheeks. “ _No_! Not about this, you don’t!”

Disappointed, her best friend merely pouted. At least he didn’t protest any further, she thought, mulling her lips.

Slightly annoyed, but growing ever softer for this friend she’d missed so much lately, Sakura sighed. Maybe he did deserve a little something after the way she’d left him.

“But, well…” she mumbled, looking away from him. “There’s been kissing. Sometimes.”

Naruto perked up at this. “Yeah? When?”

The back of her neck started burning again, mind flashing through the many kisses she’d shared with Sasuke. Sakura felt herself growing a little flustered.

“I—I don’t know,” she said, flushing even deeper. It felt almost too private to be talking about this, now. “It’s just—whenever he feels good about us, you know? It hasn’t exactly been… consistent.”

Just as she was beginning to regret having said anything at all, though, Naruto’s arm squeezed around her affectionately, urging her to look at him. She’d never seen him smile at her like this before, she realized; soft with happiness and something like pride.

“Well it’s about damn time,” he said.

Sakura laughed, and leaned her head on him for a moment, smiling as well. “Yeah,” she said, shyly. “It is, isn’t it?”

Naruto merely squeezed his arm around her again, grinning.

For the next while, the two went on to walk together in silence; contented, warm, and completely comfortable. It wasn’t until they’d passed by a jewelry shop that Sakura was suddenly reminded of yesterday’s news.

“Oh, I almost forgot!” Sakura exclaimed, growing just as giddy as she’d been then. “Did you know Ino is getting married?”

Naruto’s eyes widened to that. His mouth dropped open.

But whatever she expected he would cry out, it wasn’t, “Oh, _come_ _on_! I was supposed to be the one with the big surprise!”

Sakura gaped. For a moment, she didn’t know what to say, the meaning of his words still sinking in.

Then: “Naruto, you’re getting married?!”

.

.

“I just can’t believe it,” she said to Sasuke as they stepped back into their inn room hours later, bellies pleasantly warm with alcohol but minds not quite as affected; it had been in the form of a sake bottle that the four of them had chosen to celebrate the news after their dessert hunt, yet in his overtly happy and proud state of mind, Naruto had naturally taken it upon himself to drinking most of it alone. Neither she or the others minded; he deserved it most, on this special day. “It all just feels so surreal. I mean— _married_ ,” she went on, the grin back to her lips as she busied herself with taking off her shoes. “Naruto is getting married, and so is Ino! How amazing is that? It makes me feel like I’ve been gone for more than a year!”

Following suit in the act, Sasuke’s response came in nothing but a hum. He hadn’t said much since they’d shared their farewells with the other half of their team back at the inn’s entrance only a few minutes ago, but Sakura brushed it off anyway, reassured instead by the gentle expression he’d been wearing all day. He’d never been one much for words, after all.

_(though she had been delightfully surprised when he’d managed to drop his usual practiced indifference in favor of the barest smirk and genuine congratulations for his best friend.)_

“Shikamaru and Temari’s wedding is probably coming up soon, too, I imagine,” she mused aloud, holding her hands behind her back as she turned and watched Sasuke working at his cloak. She felt strangely compelled to help him out, still buzzing from every tender touch they’d relentlessly shared this evening, but abstained from doing it, anyway. “It’s just crazy, isn’t it, Sasuke-kun? All our friends are growing up and getting married, probably ready to start families of their own soon…”

She smiled when he finished his task and finally shifted those mismatched eyes towards her, heart stuttering shyly at the softness she found there—the same softness that had been there since the first time she’d met his gaze at the bridge. Her cheeks flushed hard.

Had he ever looked at her like this before? Of course he had, she immediately admonished herself. But never in the way that he did today, in front of so many nameless people, in front of their _friends_ —no, Sakura didn’t think he’d ever looked at her with such open affection in front of everyone else before. Whatever fond looks he gave, he’d always tended to save for more private moments, in the end.

_(but today, there was more than that. today, his eyes kept no secrets to the nature of their relationship, to his feelings for her._

_today, he was unafraid, and unashamed to love her.)_

At the thought, her smile stretched to something wider, lovelier, eyes crinkling with such simple joy. Gods, did that make her happy. Cocking her head a little, Sakura tucked a lock of hair behind her ear before she went on to say with a light laugh, “You know, it seems like only a few years ago we were all graduating from the academy and being placed into teams! But now I’m realizing it’s almost been a _decade_ since then, and that just boggles my mind—”

A rough hand pressed up against her stomach then, and Sakura lost both her words and her breath, heart skipping a few beats as she felt Sasuke firmly push her back against the wall, capturing her lips with his own. Feeling herself flush, eyes falling shut, her belly quivered, the smallest noise of surprise slipping from her throat. His mouth was so hot, so hard; moving with an ardor she’d never seen before—an ardor she’d only ever dreamed about.

_(dreams that would have her waking up sweaty and embarrassed, again and again. full of low, simmering want for the man sleeping soundly at her side.)_

It was all too easy to lose herself to it.

Murmuring his name on his lips, Sakura clenched her fingers around his shirt and pulled him closer, finally beginning to respond. She was a bit more timid as she moved at first, a bit more careful—but as Sasuke made that sound as her hand slipped beneath the collar of his shirt, she felt herself gradually caving more to the fire they’d been fighting for weeks, dizzying her mind with all-heated thoughts. She nearly shuddered when his own hand slipped beneath her shirt, pressing and roaming the skin there, his touch like liquid heat.

_(and though it wasn’t perfect, though it was still clumsy with clashing teeth, mismatched rhythms and bumping noses—she still lost herself to every second of this moment, to every second of his eager affections. enamored, in lust; enraptured by the earnestness of his love.)_

They were both terribly out of breath when they finally pulled away, one long moment later. Foreheads pressed intimately, cheeks blooming red, gazes half-lidded as they stared at one another. His hand was at her hip now, still skin to skin, but it was softer now, between them, more tentative and sweet—two young adults in love, but still reeling from what they’ve done. Still dazed from the storm of pent-up desire they’d both for a moment lost themselves to.

Panting, legs like jelly, Sakura watched as the love of her life swallowed tightly and most visibly, unable to explain the shudder that went through her at the sight. Her stomach fluttered as those mismatched eyes flickered down to her well-kissed mouth, fingers of his single hand digging more possessively into her flesh. There was no question what thought had fluttered through his mind, right then.

Sakura swallowed, too.

“I’ve been wanting to do that all night,” he murmured at last, unconsciously pulling her closer to himself.

She was only too-aware, hands tightening around the material of his shirt as her mind fogged unbearably. Gods, his body was warm against hers. She almost couldn’t stand to think with him like this.

For that reason alone, she found herself replying quite impulsively, “All night? Sasuke-kun, I’ve been wanting you to do that for _months_.”

A sound left him then, something that Sakura could have _sworn_ sounded too painstakingly familiar to a small, breathless laugh—but then his mouth was on hers again, and all thoughts vanished from her mind, leaving nothing but heat, and passion, and too-long-repressed needs.

It was all too clear where this would lead, she knew. She could feel it in the way that he moved, pressing her more adamantly against the wall, and the way that he touched, hungrily roaming every inch of skin within his reach; every moment of tightly maintained control had led to this. Since that night she had first brought out that gleam of desire in his eyes all but a year ago, since even long before that when his gaze had first dropped to her mouth…

_(since their time in ishi, where it all started slowly pouring out.)_

There was no going back from this.

“W-Wait,” she said as she broke away from him, body trembling terribly, and mind hazed and clouded. Sakura felt like she was on fire, skin tingling unbearably from everywhere his hand had touched, but she needed to collect herself right now—needed to be able to be certain he was truly ready for this.

_(because just a few days ago, he hadn’t been. he'd still wanted to heal, still wanted to better himself—still thought that they should wait. and gods, she could wait, she could wait, she could **wait** —)_

“Are you sure?” she asked, staring directly into those eyes of his she loved so much.

The corner of his lips lifted. Something like absolute tenderness flashed in his gaze.

“Sakura,” he whispered, his voice so soft… yet somehow so hot. She nearly shuddered. “I want you.”

Her heart tumbled loudly in her chest. A low, shaking breath passed her lips.

“Okay,” she said. “Make love to me, Sasuke-kun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays!


	23. twenty three

It was to warm skin and soft, quiet breaths that Sakura woke to the next morning, bare body wrapped in stark white sheets and a lone, strong arm. Hazy, half asleep, her eyes blinked open lazily, cheeks flushing as she took in the sight of her nimble fingers pressed up against her love’s slow heaving chest. A faint, dulled out ache lingered between her legs, a clear reminder as to what had transpired the night before.

They’d really done it, she thought, tenderness washing over her. They’d really made love.

Unable to help herself, her gaze flickered up to look at the man she so dearly adored. Her breath hitched; he was still asleep—a rare thing, at this hour. Sasuke scarcely ever slept much past the day’s sunrise.

Heart fluttering, swelling, Sakura instinctively reached up and ran a few fingers across his jaw, keeping her touch fleeting, careful. He’d always been a light sleeper, even after all these years, and she didn’t want to wake him up when he looked like this. So _content_ , so peaceful.

Lips curling with the fondest smile, Sakura pulled her hand away and tucked her head into his chest, sighing silently, happily. Her eyes slipped shut for the barest moment, reminiscing the night before, fingers absentmindedly tracing unknown patterns against his skin. It almost seemed like a dream, now, like the perfect illusion of a tender, tender night she’d so longingly wished to happen lately—and if it weren’t for the gentle throb between her thighs, she might have thought that’s all it had been.

But here he was, holding her close, and bare as ever, caught in a sleep seemingly more restful than any other he’d had since their travels began, making her heart flop and stop and stumble—

A warm hand closed over her own, then, halting her fondly drawing fingers and startling her out of her sweet, impossibly-in-love musings. Stiffening, Sakura looked up, cheeks tainting an adorable shade of red as she met the sight of Sasuke, barely awake but eyes still set on her with sleepy affection.

_(had she really been so caught up in her thoughts, in her **love** for him, that she’d completely missed how her touch stirred him awake? maybe she shouldn’t have let herself get so lost, but she hadn’t been able to help herself—it had been such a perfect night.)_

“That tickles,” he mumbled, hand squeezing hers lightly.

“You’re ticklish?” she questioned back, voice breathless but dripping with curiosity. She never would have thought.

But Sasuke didn’t answer, whether too embarrassed or too something else. He simply stared at her, eyes soft with his quiet love, reaching with his only hand to gingerly brush a few strands of hair from her face. Sakura felt her mouth run dry, blush darkening prettily as his calloused fingers slid to her jaw, her cheeks… her lips. She almost couldn’t believe it when the tenderness in his gaze only strengthened, rough hand reaching to sift through her hair, welling emotion at her throat. She’d never seen him looking at her like this—so hopelessly in love.

“Can you pinch me?” she whispered, before she knew it.

He stopped, blinking; bemused. “What? Why?”

“So I know this isn’t a dream,” she replied, so demurely.

Sasuke’s lips twitched at this. He moved again, brushed his fingers to her ear, her neck. “This isn’t a dream, Sakura,” he murmured.

“That’s something dream-Sasuke-kun would say—Ow!”

Pouting, Sakura rubbed at her pinched thigh, face reddening faintly at his boldness. Her heart stuttered when something like a laugh slipped from his lips in return, the sound warming her to her very soul.

Overcome with the moment, she blurted out a strong, “I love you.”

The crinkling mirth of his eyes faded at this, ever so slightly, but only to shift to something much lovelier, gentler. Infinitely better. Breath caught in her throat, Sakura merely stared at him determinedly, resolute in her confession, fingers still pressed up against his bared chest. She felt herself practically melt against him as his arm wrapped itself around her tightly, pulling her flush against himself, lips pressed against her forehead.

“I know,” he whispered. “I know.”

It only made her smile, eyes closing against his affections.

“We should probably get up, shouldn’t we?” she said after a long, muted while, not really meaning any of it. Her face pressed itself to the hollow in his throat, arms wrapping around him just as tightly. “We promised we’d meet Naruto and Kakashi for breakfast today…”

Nose pressing to her hair, she could swear she felt him smile. He sighed slowly, contently, pulling her even closer. “They can wait a little,” he said.

And so they stayed in silence, wrapped around one another, legs tangled and hearts basking in the height of their love. Alone, and blissfully complete, reveling in the aftermath of a night where everything felt right.

.

.

_(“sakura?”_

_“hm?”_

_“i’m… glad you didn’t go back to konoha.”)_

.

.

“There you guys are!” Naruto called as they finally arrived to their meeting point nearly forty-five minutes later than what they’d agreed upon, arms crossed and wearing a suspiciously cheery grin to his lips. “We’ve been waiting almost an hour for you two! What held you up?”

Laziness, Sakura thought reverently, but kept her silence all the same, fighting back the urge to smile. She glanced at Sasuke, the barest blush touching her cheeks, but wouldn’t let herself linger on him lest it rouse more questions about the perfect intimacy that was their morning.

“We slept in,” Sasuke replied, before she could even think up of an excuse.

_(a good thing, as it turned out, because sakura didn’t think she could have come up with anything believable anyway.)_

His hand brushed her back with the lightest touch to invite her to sit down first, and Sakura blushed, thankful that the others didn’t seem to notice the subtle caress.

“Slept in?” Naruto questioned, a loud laugh escaping him as he slapped his thigh and shook his head. Apparently the very notion of this seemed hilarious to him. “Since when do either of you _ever_ sleep in?”

Since this past year, really, Sakura thought as she avoided his gaze. She cleared her throat most delicately, and nearly missed the way Sasuke’s lips twitched, as though finding her behavior much too entertaining.

_(more than likely, he’d shared the exact same thought, after all.)_

“Now, now, Naruto—let it go,” their ex-teacher chided, then, leaning his cheek against his palm as he smiled so impishly beneath his mask, eyes crinkling. He was happy for them, that much was obvious, but still, there was a twinkle to his only visible eye that Sakura found she really didn’t like. Her instinct only proved to be right when her perverted sensei went on to say, “For all you know, they could have been up _very late_ studying and learning about the ever-crucial topic that is human anato—”

On pure impulse, her foot flew out, knocking harshly against Kakashi’s shins and forcing him to suck in a breath, words positively lost. Yet, that twinkle never faded, and he coughed something of a laugh, turning to the menu in front of him instead.

“Anyway,” Sakura said, reaching for her own menu and clearing her throat again, fighting a furious flush from creeping over her. Whether their teammates actually knew the truth of the previous night or were only teasing, she wasn’t going to test her luck. “Has anyone tried the shiozake here? I heard it’s really good.”

At her side, Sasuke hummed in response, either in consideration or agreement (she couldn’t properly tell), evidently of the mind to divert the subject as well. She wasn’t going to wonder why—with how private Sasuke was about most things, it was only expected he would immediately want to brush off any talk of their intimacy, potential or not.

Refraining from the urge to shift her gaze at him, Sakura merely watched as Naruto made an odd face at her brusque transition of subjects—apparently, he’d never really suspected anything lewd yet, much to her relief—but ultimately shrugged, wrinkling his nose in mild distaste. “Eh. I’m don’t think I really feel up to eating fish this morning,” he said, leaning over to peer at Kakashi’s menu. “Where’s their ramen? I’m still on a lookout for new flavors—”

“You’re going to eat _ramen_ for breakfast?” Sakura growled, eyes narrowing most disapprovingly at her teammate as she reached to whack him over the head. “Naruto! Are you serious? That’s not healthy! Hasn’t Hinata taught you better than that?”

Whining, Naruto rubbed his head, and pouted. “Hey! Sakura-chan, don’t be mean! I’ve been doing better this past year! Believe it!”

Scowling, Sakura opened her mouth to scold him some more, but only found herself stiffening as Sasuke’s foot slid alongside hers, his warm hand closing gently around her knee. Her mind blanked, the back of her neck flushing; in an instant, whatever irritation she seemed to feel vanished, overpowered by his calming touch. It took everything in her not to turn and look at him.

_(he was too content right now, it seemed, too at peace with everything—and he wanted her to be, too. wanted her to ignore senseless bickering, to bask in whatever blissful feeling had remained between them since they’d awoken; wanted her to simply relish in it all.)_

“Well you… you better!” she replied, eventually, voice just short of shaking as her heart pounded up a storm. Puffing her cheeks, she looked away, pretending to go back to inspecting her choice of dishes as she focused instead entirely on the way his fingers brushed her skin over her clothes. “Ramen for breakfast... unbelievable.”

In return, Naruto only complained once more, but Sakura didn’t pay much attention to it, his bemoaning only buzzing noise to her ears as her green, green eyes shyly drifted over to the man at her side. She let her gaze run along his features, noting the usual indifference and almost-boredom he always displayed on the surface, but when his eyes flickered to her, too, Sakura felt her throat grow tight, heart warming as he squeezed her knee. She didn’t care that he looked away the barest second later, giddiness already bubbling at her stomach.

When the waiter came, Sasuke’s hand fell away, but Sakura did not mind; they gave their orders, offered him back the menus, and made small talk as they waited, conversation veered towards politics and notably shocking recent news. Their food came, they ate and shared, quelling their hunger until they were finally sated and laughing just as the day before.

“Oh, I almost forgot!” Naruto exclaimed, once the waiter had taken their tableware away and gone to set up their bills. He nudged his old teacher. “Oi, Kaka-sensei, you wanted me to remind you that you had a mission to offer them, right?”

There was some irony to that, Sakura mused, throwing Sasuke an amused look. He simply shook his head at her, eyes filled with that quiet mirth.

“Ah, that’s right, I did,” Kakashi said, sounding particularly thankful for this reminder. He straightened himself, reached for the pouch at his back, and pulled out a scroll, presenting it to them. “It’s a short, but important reconnaissance mission,” the lazy Hokage offered. “Fairly low risk, but it requires a great deal of skill to pull off. Thought you two might be interested.”

“Whereabouts?” Sasuke asked, accepting the scroll. He opened it anyway, skimmed through it, and nodded. “Ah, Numachi. That’s between Kusa and Iwa, right?”

“It is,” Kakashi acknowledged. “Are you interested?”

Humming, Sasuke seemed to read the scroll more thoroughly, and frowned, before turning to look at her. “It’s a good reward,” he said, as he passed it over for her to read. “Easy enough job, and on our way if we decided to go to Iwa next. We could take it.”

It was surprising, to say the least, that Sasuke was leaving the decision up to her; as far as she had seen on their travels together, Sasuke was a bit of an opportunist when it came to gaining monetary means. But, she supposed as she accepted it from his hand and set out to read the mission herself, since this was a mission that likely required both of their participation, it could only be fair to ask for her opinion.

_(but to leave the final say in her hands, still…)_

Smile curling to her lips, Sakura’s stomach flopped, eyes crinkling as she glanced at Sasuke. His own mouth curved back, ever so slightly, those mismatched eyes of his as soft as they had been the night before.

“Yeah okay,” she said, turning back to Kakashi with a grin. “We’ll take it.”

.

.

Sasuke was a man of a one-track mind, of that Sakura had always known since they were genin; once he’d set his sights on a goal, everything else had always tended to fade away in the background, his mind and body and heart only dedicated to the accomplishment of whatever held his fixation. When they were young, it had been his training, his ways to attain power—his revenge on his brother. Years later when he found out the truth behind the massacre (one which still rattled her to this day), it had been bringing justice on his family’s real murderers, reforming a system too clearly flawed. These days, perhaps, it was finding peace, forgiveness… true acceptance of himself.

Well, Sakura pondered, smiling so comically as she watched Sasuke thoughtfully studying a few papers, until recently, that was.

Ever since they’d left Kusa a few weeks ago, Sasuke had unintentionally gotten hilariously focused on nothing but the mission, spending most of their traveling breaks and time before bed meticulously planning out the execution of their assignment, discussing with her through every detail. It was as though their night together in Kusa had completely slipped from his mind.

_(an embarrassing thought to consider seeing as it was nearly all she could really think about, still, when she looked at him.)_

But then would come times when it seemed to dawn to him again, quieting him midway through a sentence, a thought, a question. His eyes would soften, running over her with that same warm, endlessly reverent love… exactly as they’d done that night. He would pause for a minute, allow himself this moment to look at her, before finally turning back to what he was saying—but never without reaching to brush their bodies in some ways.

Most of these nights, when they retreated to bed inside their tent, Sasuke would even draw her in to kiss her, too, as if offering a most silent apology for treating her like a mere mission partner without meaning to.

_(“sasuke-kun,” she’d say, laughing. “i get it—it’s fine, really. we’re ninja first, right?”)_

Smiling wider, Sakura only shook her head, turning back to the drying senbons she’d earlier dipped in a mild, non-lethal poison she’d concocted on her own; hardly necessary, if she was honest with herself, but if there was one thing she remembered the academy grilling into their minds when they were young, it was that they should always take the steps to prepare themselves for the worst outcomes.

“What does it do?” she heard Sasuke ask a few minutes later, as she’d just starting packing them away.

Blinking, Sakura paused in her work and looked up at him, her lips curling again as she watched him approach.

“A few things, actually,” she said, humming when he took a seat beside her. Her chest warmed when he set his eyes on her, forever patient. “Mostly, it acts as an instant paralyzing agent that works more quickly than others,” she went on to explain. “It’s particularly useful for recon missions because it doesn’t last more than a few minutes really, so there’s not much stirring of suspicion—just gives us enough time to bail if ever things go wrong.” Then, she put a finger to her chin here, and smiled even wider, green eyes crinkling. “But the best thing to boot it is its amnesic component, I’d say. Short term memory loss wasn’t a side effect to the poison originally, but you know—I made it work.”

She winked at him here, and swore Sasuke wanted to smile in return, but instead, Sakura watched as he merely reached over to inspect one of the senbons, features taken with affectionate pride.

“You should be in ANBU with those skills, you know,” he said, and her heart stumbled at the words.

_(because of all the things sasuke could have said in response, she hadn’t really ever expected something like that.)_

“Really?” she breathed.

Nodding, Sasuke made an affirmative sound and offered the senbon back, his gaze shifting to her once more. “They’ve never made an offer?”

That made her blush, stomach flipping; the surprise in his voice spoke too much about the kind of faith he held in her. Her throat swelled up.

_(gods, she loved him for it.)_

“Well… they have, in fact. Twice,” she answered, eventually, taking the needle weapon and carefully packing it with the rest. Smiling, Sakura wrapped her arms around her knees, and kept her eyes off of him; she was too shy to see his response. “It’s just—my place is at the hospital, you know? I’m still able to take missions as it is now, and I love it but… ANBU, I don’t think I’d want that. I could do it, I’m sure, but I’d like to have _some_ sort of semblance of a life.”

She laughed, here, and looked up at him again, grinning with her cheeks still flushed. “I just wouldn’t have much time to hang out with you and Naruto and everyone else like I want to, Sasuke-kun, and I’d never give that up for anything in the world.”

In response, Sasuke simply looked at her for a long, hushed moment, those handsome eyes of his so unbearably fond; it made her heart flutter, made her fingers shake, and when he leaned in to kiss her sweetly, Sakura almost sighed, leaning into him.

She dragged him back into another when he broke from her, curling her fingers into his cloak and tugging him closer, the blood in her head pounding. He responded in kind for a while, single hand tender at her waist but mouth just as hot and hungry, allowing her what she wanted. It was only when her hand crept under the hemline of his shirt that he moved to put a stop to it all, fingers closing gingerly around her wrist as he pulled himself away and met her gaze.

“Sakura,” he murmured, mismatched eyes flashing with heat, yet utterly conflicted. Clearly, he didn’t think this was the right time.

_(and he was right, she knew.)_

Slumping against him, blood still burning, Sakura bit the inside of her cheek and pressed her forehead to his collarbone, making some sort of acquiescing sound. She should be ashamed of herself, she mused.

“Sorry,” she mumbled, cheeks reddening. “I know the mission comes first.” 

There was a moment of pure, somewhat flustering silence before she felt Sasuke’s hand sliding at the back of her neck, rubbing gently. His lips pressed briefly to the crown of her head.

“After,” he whispered. “I promise.”

And she knew he meant it.

.

.

Their road to the swamp village finally came to an end a day and a half later, and they took to the nearest inn as instructed by the mission scroll, expenses already paid and ensured total confidentiality. There, they made the last of their preparations and recapitulated their plan; Sasuke even summoned some of his snakes to spy and reconfirm their target’s location. When late morning came, Sakura performed her henge, suppressed her chakra, and together, they set out to carry out their assignment—Sasuke keeping to the shadows.

Expectedly, it went without a hitch: their mark naturally fell all too easily for Sakura’s irresistible charms, and her refined methods had him effortlessly spilling all the information they needed already within the first hour, never once arising any wary brow her way.

But, Sakura could admit, there had been some level of uneasiness in her stomach at the thought of Sasuke watching her seduce another man, and it proved to be distracting, sometimes—especially when dragging her lips against their target’s jaw, and seeing Sasuke’s grip tightening around his cup as he watched from the nearby crowded restaurant. 

When the mission was accomplished, they went back to the inn, reported their findings through a sealed scroll and sent Takauji off to Konoha with it. Then, feeling peckish, they stepped out again to take reprieve in a busy little venue just three blocks away.

He was holding her hand.

_(and whether that was out of affection, or possessiveness, or simply out of relief now that their professional responsibilities were finally pushed to the back of their minds again, sakura did not care._

_because he was holding her hand.)_

.

.

“Oh, look Sasuke-kun! They have a two for one matcha tea deal for today!”

.

.

“You didn’t have to get one too, you know,” Sasuke said, just as the waitress had darted away with their order; he seemed distinctively amused, with those beautiful gleaming eyes of his and those perfectly arched brows, yet somehow, still completely unsurprised.

Cocking her head, Sakura smiled at him anyways, leaning her cheek against her propped up hand. “And why not?” she asked, reaching to poke his bad arm lightly. Her smile widened when his gaze dropped to follow the gesture fondly, before meeting hers again. “They had a good deal and I wasn’t about to pass up on it, Sasuke-kun.”

“Tch.” Shaking his head, Sasuke glanced away again and reached for his glass of water, fiddling with the rim. But she didn’t miss the way his lips twitched. “You don’t like matcha tea, Sakura.”

“That’s not true,” Sakura replied, beaming brighter, the lilt of her tone positively cheerful, light. Grasping for her own glass, she began to play with her straw, and went on teasingly, “You’ve just never seen me drink it, that’s all. I mean it’s not _my_ favorite but… I think it’s fine.”

At this, Sasuke merely shook his head once more, and Sakura giggled, refraining from the sudden, overwhelming urge to reach across and take his hand in hers. Though he’d held hers so publicly all but a few minutes ago, she could never be sure what it was that Sasuke was comfortable with even after the night they shared; it was only best she kept letting him go at his own pace.

But something in her expression must have shown her intent, she mused, because Sasuke—the observant man that he’d always been since they were genin—seemed to pick up on it instantly. His gaze flickered carefully over her face, mouth twitching again, and her heart stuttered, body practically melting in her seat at the way he looked at her. Her jaw slackened ever so slightly as she felt his foot slide along her own, much like that time all those weeks ago.

Blushing, Sakura only ever had the time to offer him a smile before the waitress made her return, presenting them both with their meals.

“Lemon for your tea?”

Turning to look at the dark haired girl, Sakura cleared her throat and made to—

“For her, yes,” Sasuke said, nodding at their petite server. “Thank you.”

Blinking, cheeks flushing prettily, Sakura could only stare, barely snapping out of her stupor as the young girl handed her half a lemon and left after her partially-dazed thanks. When she looked back to the only man she ever loved, she could only blush harder at the simple mirth she found to his features. 

“What?” she questioned, tucking back a lock of hair once more. “I wasn’t expecting—”

“Well I’ll be fucking damned, you actually _are_ here,” someone much too familiar called, catching both of their attentions.

Gaze snapping to the stranger, Sakura stiffened, mouth parting as her eyes widened a little; of all the people they could come across, this man was one of the last she expected to see.

“ _You_?” she challenged, but the Lightning nin ignored, apparently entirely focused on Sasuke—just like he had been at that time in Suna. That made her lips tighten, her eyes narrow.

When she glanced at Sasuke, predictably, he looked much the same as she did, brows furrowed even further and jaw clenched imperceptibly.

Just as he opened his mouth to talk, however, another voice cut in, “Hiroya? Anata, we nearly lost you there—what’s got you in such a hurry?”

Wary, but less stiff, the two of them watched as a stunning civilian woman approached the Lighting nin at their table, carrying a young toddler in one arm while she held the hand of a shy little girl with the other. Her eyes widened as she saw them, head dipping in a quick, polite bow to make up for her disrespect. “Oh, I’m very sorry! How rude of me—I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“Yasu,” the man—Hiroya, was it?—spoke before either of them could react; his voice was much more gentle than before. Turning towards her, he touched a hand to her back. “Take the kids and find a booth you like. This won’t be long, all right?”

Still frowning, Sakura watched as Hiroya kissed his wife’s temple before letting her go, the whole of his face becoming severe as he turned to them once more.

“You see them, Uchiha?” he said, lowly. “That’s my family. The _only_ family I have. And like any man who loves his family? I’d do anything to protect them.” Invasively putting a hand to their table, he leaned closer, eyes sharp and menacing. “ _That’s_ why I don’t trust lunatics like you who betrayed your own comrades without a second thought. Especially one who did it on _more_ than one occasion,” he whispered. “That’s why I’ll _never_ let you fool me. I’m always gonna fight to keep this country safe from people like you—in whatever way I can. So I’d watch my damn back here, if I were you.”

At this, Sakura’s fist tightened. Her lips thinned. The nerve of him! Making threats and antagonizing others made him no better than whatever villainous figure he saw Sasuke as—even under the intent of protecting his family, there was no excuse to behaving like this! It made no sense to her how thick-headed and close-minded some people were.

Opening her mouth to snarl something, Sakura braced herself forward—only to force herself to keep quiet when Sasuke suddenly raised his hand a little, dismissing her kindly. He didn’t want her intervening.

There was a short, thick pause.

“Go back to your family,” Sasuke said, at last, sounding surprisingly calm, lenient—patient, even.

It made her heart stop, made her mind run blank… until finally, a wave of tenderness washed over her. He hadn’t even gotten angry at all, she realized, feeling her love for him swelling with even more intensity.

With great effort, Sakura turned back to the Lightning nin again, softness washing away and frown back to her lips once more. He was pissed, clearly, with those narrowed eyes and those flared up nostrils and that taut clenched jaw; likely, he hadn’t expected Sasuke would have responded like this. Yet, after a moment, Hiroya thankfully only pushed himself away from their table, making some kind of contemptuous, scornful sound as he walked away, heading towards his family a dozen booths over.

Somberly, Sakura watched him for a moment before turning back to the man she loved so dearly. Her heart stuttered as she found his fond eyes already set on her.

_(was he really not bothered at all…?)_

“I’m fine, Sakura,” he murmured, as if reading her thoughts. “Some people’s opinions will never change, but that doesn’t mean they have to matter.”

And just like that, all heaviness dropped from her shoulders, easing away the worries of her mind; Sakura’s mouth curved, breaking into another beautiful smile, the one that was only ever meant for him.

“Let’s just drink our tea and take everything to go so we can get out of here, yeah?” she said, her sweet green eyes shining so brightly at him.

In return, Sasuke merely hummed, lips twitching once more as he took his cup in hand and raised it in silent cheer. Then, he waited, watching her squeeze the whole of her lemon half into her tea, before stirring it, and then tasting it. He raised a brow as she made a face.

“Figures,” he said, shaking his head, lowering his cup back down. Sakura thought she saw the ghost of a smile to his lips. “Here,” he went on, sliding it towards her. “Take mine.”

“What? No—Sasuke-kun, it’s fine! You don’t even like lemon in your tea—”

“Sakura,” he cut in, gently. “It’s fine. Just take it.”

Blushing, Sakura ducked her head, acquiescing. Shyly, she accepted the cup and offered her own, smiling at him. “Thank you.”

The smile only grew when they lifted their teacups and harmonized, “Kampai,” clinking their drinks together before taking a sip. The way Sasuke grimaced nearly had her laughing, but still, he said nothing to complain. It warmed her heart.

_(because it was a sweet gesture, really. small and probably insignificant to him—but so sweet to her all the same.)_

Maybe when they got back to their inn later, Sakura mused, she could thank him a little more properly.

The thought had her cheeks flushing.

_(he did promise, after all.)_

.

.

She didn’t think much of the dizziness on their way back to the inn.

Heart racing in her chest, blood burning at the possibilities that awaited them, Sakura only chalked it up to her anxiousness, teeth digging into the inside of her cheek as his hand at times brushed the small of her back. She felt electrified, overwhelmed; consumed by the same feverish want that possessed them all those weeks ago, starving for his touch.

So when he kissed her barely a moment after they’d stepped back into their room, she was only ever too eager to comply.

At first, it was all heat, breathless sounds, and wanton strokes—much like that night. They kissed and touched and groaned with all their pent-up passion, making up for all the time that they were forced to wait out, losing themselves to each other. Clothes started to fall, skin finally finding skin; his name became a mantra to her lips—

And then a pain hit her; twisting and tearing with such agonizing intensity that her legs buckled, eyes snapping open as her mouth opened with a startled cry. Spots blotching her vision, mind fogging up quickly, Sakura heaved in a gurgling breath, barely aware of Sasuke’s arm catching her, or the way her name tumbled from his lips in surprise.

She could only imagine the look on his face right now—watching the woman he loved collapsing against him, for reasons he simply didn’t understand.

_(but there was only one thing that could do this much damage so quickly, she knew.)_

Hacking a bloody, too-painful cough against his chest, Sakura tried her best to grab at him and look up, desperate to tell him what was wrong.

She could only hope he heard her strangled whisper of, “Poison,” before darkness finally took her.

.

.

_(“sakura? sakura—SAKURA!”)_

.

.

.

When she woke up, she was in Konoha’s hospital.


	24. twenty four

It was as though her body had been burned from the inside. That was the first thing Sakura had noticed when she’d stirred awake from her not-so-restful sleep, feeling terribly weakened.

The second thing she noticed was Sasuke, sitting at her bedside, elbow bent to his knee while he cradled his head into his hand. She couldn’t see his face.

Wincing, taken with shudders, Sakura shifted to try and push herself up, a small sound of discomfort tumbling from her lips. Sasuke snapped up to look at her in an instant, eyes wild and frazzled and much too worried. Her fragile heart stuttered in her chest.

“Sakura,” he breathed, reaching for her.

He wrapped his hand around her wrist first, seemed to feel for her pulse, as if searching for some kind of reassurance that he wasn’t dreaming. Then, when he seemed to have found what he was looking for, he swallowed tight and abruptly stood from his chair, his lone, shaking hand touching so gently at her jaw. He drew her in as closely as he could barely seconds later, tucking his face into her neck. She could feel his heartbeat pounding.

Stiff as ever and mouth parting open, Sakura couldn’t even manage to respond, wondering where this was all coming from. Had she really given him such a fright? How long had she been out? What had even happened since she’d collapsed in that—

Blinking, the familiarity of these walls surrounding them finally sank in. Her mind came to a stop, eyes widening even more.

“Sasuke-kun, are we… are we in Konoha?”

A long breath leaving him, Sasuke merely nodded and pulled away, combing his hand through his hair. He stayed silent for a moment, running his gaze along her features, absorbing the sight of her. His throat bobbed again, those mismatched eyes of his finally losing their disquieted edge to give way to something softer. Lighter.

Sakura didn’t think she’d ever seen him so relieved.

“You were out for a while,” he said, voice low. “A lot happened. Everyone worried.”

_(him most of all, clearly.)_

“How long?”

“Six weeks.”

“Six wee—”

Sucking in a sharp breath, she cut herself off, putting a hand to her racing heart. Her eyes slipped shut. Six weeks? How was that even possible? Had the poison really been this bad? And she hadn’t even properly healed, yet.

No wonder Sasuke seemed so rattled, she mused, gaze softening as she looked at him again.

“All right,” she said, muted. “Tell me what happened.”

She listened attentively, from that point on, as he began to explain what exactly had transpired in the time where she’d all but basically been dead to the world. How it had been his teacup that had been poisoned at the restaurant, and his alone; a particular poison, new and just recently perfected—one that was designed specifically to be resistant against medic nins and their chakras.

Potent, slow to act, but meant to wreck carnage on every organ. Lethal.

“It was a poison made to kill me—or people like me,” Sasuke said. “Those of us who built an immunity to most existing ones. No medic would have been able to help. Not even you.”

Something in his voice told her that he thought it was something of a miracle she was still even alive. “Then how am I still here?”

He swallowed, and her heart lurched at the sight. “…Tsunade thinks it’s because the poison wasn’t built to attack systems like yours. It was built to resist it. Not destroy it.”

Ah, so they’d been lucky, in a sense, that she’d been the one who got the wrong cup. Had it not been her, Sasuke would have…

Chest clenching, Sakura clutched at her shirt, and pushed the thought away. No—she didn’t even want to imagine that.

_(bent over the love of her life, screaming his name, trying to pump the poison away, but failing, failing, failing—)_

“Sakura,” he called then, and she shook her head, cursing herself for getting caught up anyway.

And this was when she’d only had minutes to her thoughts. Sasuke had had six weeks; six weeks to his dark mind, to terrifying what-could-bes; six weeks to be tormented, to have him believe he was losing everything again.

“I’m sorry,” she said, feeling her throat close up. “I’m sorry you had to go through that, Sasuke-kun. After everything you’ve had to deal with, I never…”

A hand touched her hair, then, brushing just as tears slipped from her eyes. Her breath hitched, gaze flying up to his once more. There weren’t any words to describe the way he was looking at her.

“You saved your own life,” he said, voice thick with something that made her heart feel so heavy. “Shizune wouldn’t have found an antidote if it hadn’t been for that tome of yours that the old lady gave you.”

“Izumi?”

Sasuke nodded, and took his hand away. She wiped her tears.

“I’m so glad you remembered I had that, Sasuke-kun. Shizune didn’t just find it rummaging through my bags, did she? She never would have found the antidote if you hadn’t remembered Izumi gave that to me. So thank you.”

His mouth parted, for a barest moment, before slipping back shut. Tenderness washed over his features. He said nothing in return, only moving to sit at her side where the tiny bed would let him.

Sakura’s cheeks flushed as he leaned over to press his lips to her forehead. He’d really been terrified of losing her, hadn’t he? She doubted he would have been so openly affectionate otherwise. Seemingly still trying to make sure she was real.

Letting her eyes slip shut, Sakura sighed as he slid a hand to the back her head, sifting his fingers through her hair. She couldn’t help herself from wrapping her arms around his neck to pull him closer, burying her face there.

“It was that nin from Suna, wasn’t it?” she asked, keeping her voice low. Careful. She didn’t want to upset him in a moment like this.

Sasuke barely stiffened. She felt him sigh against her, too, slow and deep. “Yeah.”

“You told them?”

“Yeah. He’s in custody now. Awaiting trial.”

Her arms tightened around him. She nuzzled him even more. “Trying to kill a nin from an allied village… the Council never takes kindly to that. He’s going to be charged with treason, isn’t he?”

“…Yeah.”

A long breath left her, this time. “They’re going to execute him, Sasuke-kun,” she whispered sadly, images of the man’s wife and their two kids flashing to mind.

But whatever she expected him to say, it wasn’t, “They’re going to want to.”

A full, stunned silence fell between them. Sakura’s eyes were wide, mouth gaping as she pulled back to look at him. She didn’t know what to reply.

“Sasuke-kun… do you—I mean, are you—?”

Sasuke sighed again, placing his gaze on her. He seemed so tired. “He has a family, Sakura,” he murmured. “He belongs to someone. He made a mistake, but… he should get the chance to atone for it. His family shouldn’t have to pay for what he did.”

Burning wetness welled at her eyes. Love and the softest pride flooded at her heart, weighing her down with a fullness that only made her want to smile. Gods, he had grown up so much.

_(so, so much.)_

“You see? What did I tell you?” she said, smiling as she cupped his face so lovingly within her hands. She pressed her forehead to his. “Such a good man. You are _such_ a good man.”

Swallowing, Sasuke merely closed his eyes, and dropped his arm to her shoulders to hold her closer. 

.

.

_(“sakura?”_

_“hm, yeah? what is it?”_

_“i’m never trading anything with you again.”_

_a laugh slipped from her lips. “ah, okay, sasuke-kun.”)_

.

.

Mebuki Haruno arrived in the form of a slamming door all but three hours later, green eyes snapped open wide as she panted and shook, unable to look away from her daughter’s feeble form. Sakura barely had the time to react, mouth parting open just as her mother barreled frantically across the room and threw her arms around her shoulders, squeezing as tightly as she ever had.

“Mom—I can’t bre—”

“You are _never_ leaving this village again. Do you hear me young lady? _Ever_ ,” Mebuki said, sounding somehow both stern and terribly frightened, inciting tears to her eyes.

Unable to even muster a response, Sakura wrapped her arms around her just as firmly and shut her eyes, ignoring the sharp throbs of pain as she held her mother closer, throat all knotted up. She was only barely aware of whispering a mantra of hoarse apologies, cheeks growing wet as Mebuki’s own tears dampened her shirt.

“And you’re always saying I’m the one dramatic, Mebuki,” she heard her father call from across the room, voice thick as it usually was when he was crying.

Her eyes opened to look at him, but they were blurry, and before she knew it, he was there, too; wrapping his arms around the both of them, pushing his face into her hair. Whispering words of gratitude to whatever gods were out there, thanking them for keeping his family safe.

Sakura could only cry harder.

“I’ll give you guys a moment,” Sasuke spoke, then, breaking her from the whirlwind that was this reunion.

But she wasn’t the one who called after him first.

“Sasuke, don’t be ridiculous. Get in here, my boy—you’re family, too,” Kizashi said, laughing through his now indisputable tears as he reached out a hand. Sakura’s breath caught in her chest at the sight.

But in truth, she didn’t know why she was so shocked. Didn’t know why it hadn’t yet occurred to her that they might have already met now, might have even gotten to be familiar with each other. Earlier, Naruto had said to her that Sasuke had never left her bedside since he’d brought her here… so of course, in these six weeks she was comatose, he would have spent more than enough time with her parents.

_(in a time like this, no less. running on less sleep than usual, battling the desperate negativity of his mind. overwhelmed with the possibility that she might die._

_and she’d left him to face this all by himself.)_

At least things seemed to have gone quite well, if her father’s words where anything to go by.

_(“you’re family, too.”)_

But it was clear Sasuke was still not quite at ease with this new bond as they were as he murmured, “I shouldn’t. It’s better if I give you some time alone. Sakura and I have already had ours.”

Sakura’s cheeks reddened faintly, and Kizashi waved him off.

“Nonsense! I won’t accept that! You can share our time too! Come on, don’t make me drag you onto this—”

“Oh Kizashi, drop it!” Mebuki snapped, then, narrowing her puffy eyes at her husband even as she still sifted her fingers through her daughter’s hair. “Leave him alone! Goodness, you should know he’s not comfortable with this kind of thing by now.”

“I’m only trying to help, Mebuki. I mean look at him! Poor boy looks depressed, he’s in need of a hug—”

“I said shut it! Gods, you’re incorrigible. What do I keep telling you? Respecting other people’s boundaries—”

Tuning out her bickering parents, Sakura smiled over her mother’s shoulder at the man she loved, eyes crinkling brightly. She mouthed him an apology when his gaze softened at her, and tried to refrain herself from laughing when his lips twitched just as he shook his head, the redness to his ears impossible to miss.

“I’ll wait outside,” Sasuke said, no doubt knowing he’d be unheard in this continued quarrel, before starting his way out of her room to make his escape.

Sakura didn’t even think to stop him.

“Ah—No! Where did he go?” her father questioned as he came to his senses some time later. “Sakura, sweetheart, did you see him leave? We need to get him back—”

Before she could even answer, Mebuki smacked his head and growled, “Have you heard nothing I just told you, Kizashi!? Leave him alone! He doesn’t need you smothering him!”

Giggling to herself, Sakura shook her head, and rubbed the wetness from her cheeks. She’d really missed this.

.

.

“So you like him?” she asked her mother about an hour or two later, when her father deemed it time for a break and stepped out to fetch some food.

_(knowing his mind, sakura suspected he invited sasuke to tag along, too, and hoped sasuke hadn’t agreed out of mere pressure—if he did.)_

Frowning, Mebuki hummed, and went on with her task of rearranging the flowers at her bedside, seemingly of no mind to respond further. That made Sakura’s heart lurch; she’d always worried about her mother’s judgement the most, after all—especially when it came to him.

She had hoped maybe they’d gotten along well, in those six weeks. That her mother might have grown to see the real him, the one that was kind and _good_ despite his quiet demeanor, instead of that hateful man most people had—

“You know, I always thought these chairs were uncomfortable,” she said, snapping her from her thoughts.

Sakura’s brows furrowed, and she blinked quickly. “What? Mom, what does that even have to do with—”

“Sakura, please, don’t interrupt me—it’s rude,” Mebuki said, as she stopped fiddling with the flower vase and finally settled in the so-acclaimed uncomfortable chair. Her features gentled. “But this is relevant, I promise.”

Saying nothing, Sakura only frowned further, and nodded.

“As I was saying,” her mother went on, “they’re not comfortable. There’s not enough padding and the material is cheap and itchy—you can hardly ever sit on one of these for more than an hour without moving restlessly. And it’s _really_ not practical for a hospital, considering people wait for hours and days and _weeks_ on end for their loved ones to recover.

But you know what? Every time I came to see you, Sasuke was always there. In this godforsaken monstrosity of a chair. Always, and without fail. Sometimes even sleeping in it, somehow, which never ceases to amaze me. We told him he should go home and get some proper rest, sleep somewhere more cozy and convenient. We even offered him a bed at our home if it was too hard to go back to yours—and Naruto did the same. But Sasuke always refused. He stayed in that rickety old chair every day, passing out every now and then when he couldn’t bear to stay awake anymore… because he couldn’t stand the thought of leaving your side.”

Mouth dropping, Sakura simply stared, a red flush taking to her cheeks. She didn’t know what to say to that. What could she say? From the way her mother talked about Sasuke, it was as though she didn’t just like him—she _adored_ him. Respected him. Connected to him in ways Sakura honestly thought they never might.

It had her heart swelling so powerfully she could feel wetness brimming at her eyes again, threatening to spill from the sheer happiness and love overwhelming her in that very moment. Knowing her mother loved and accepted Sasuke for the man he really was… it was all she’d ever wanted and more.

“He didn’t even want to leave your side when Kakashi sent out a squad to look for that Lightning nin,” Tsunade spoke all of a sudden, surprising the both of them.

Her blush worsened, but Sakura ignored it, smiling widely instead. “Tsunade-shishou! You’re here!”

Her former teacher smiled back. “Hello, Sakura. Are you feeling well? I trust my best student is recovering wonderfully—you’ve never taken too long to heal from my beatings, after all.”

Sakura only giggled, and Mebuki shook her head, gesturing the older woman inside.

“I’ll never stop saying you were grueling on my daughter, and too much at that, but we’ve already had this discussion one too many times before,” her mother said, crossing her arms. “Now what was that about Sasuke? He turned down a mission?”

“Mm. He did,” Tsunade said, crossing her arms, too. “I was surprised to say the least. I thought he might have jumped at the chance, like he always did in the past—but I guess he really has changed if he didn’t even hesitate to say no.” Shifting her gaze to her former student’s, the woman smirked. “You really did a number on him out there, didn’t you, Sakura?”

Reddening heavily once more, Sakura glanced down shyly, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. Her heart pounded away. “Yeah,” she murmured, trying not to smile to herself. “I guess I did.”

It felt amazing, really, to know she’d played such a big part in Sasuke’s recovery. To know that it was because of her help that he’d found enough peace to be able to forgive—or perhaps simply control his impulses. To put thought before action in the face of grief and anger.

Sasuke Uchiha was an avenger no more, and Sakura could now take pride in knowing the fact she’d helped him put this past behind.

_(something he’d wanted for years.)_

“Keep smiling like that and I might start thinking that you’re also about to declare you’re getting married soon,” Tsunade hummed, then, a certain mirthful lilt to her tone. “Are half of the Konoha Eleven engaged without anyone’s knowledge? Or did you all plan to only get married at this age?”

Making some sort of choked noise, Sakura’s blush deepened so terribly she felt she might faint. “T-Tsunade-shishou!” she wailed, hands cupping her face to cover up the evidence of her flustered mind. “It’s—It’s not like that! Why are you so mean? I would never hide something like this from you!”

“Better not,” her mother mumbled from across the room, picking at her nails.

Sakura only ever had the time to open her mouth before Tsunade gave a full-bellied laugh.

“Now that’s what I like to hear!” the Fifth Hokage proclaimed, putting her hands to her hips. She grinned. “I knew I raised my pupil well.”

“For two years,” Mebuki deadpanned, but the older woman waved her off.

“He doesn’t deserve you for a second, and he never will," Tsunade went on to say, hands still on her hips as she approached the bed. “You know if it had been up to me, I would have chosen someone better for you a long time ago.”

Sakura’s shoulders fell at that. Her ex-teacher had never shied away from showing her dislike towards Sasuke; he’d always been too selfish and easily consumed by anger in her eyes. She let out a silent breath, looking down at the thin, cheap hospital bedsheets. “I know.”

And then a hand was in her hair.

Stiffening, Sakura’s eyes flickered up again, meeting the now considerably tender gaze of one of the only three women who’d made her who she was today. Tsunade’s smile was kind.

“Then again, maybe you shouldn’t listen to an old woman like me,” she said, tussling her bright locks. “He clearly cares well for you—and he makes you happy. It’s more than I ever thought him capable of doing.”

Her heart stuttering in her chest, Sakura fought the urge to grin. “Is Sasuke-kun finally growing on you, shishou?”

The honey-eyed woman barked another laugh, pushing away from her. “Don’t count on it, kiddo! That damn Uchiha boy will always be a brat to me. But as long as he treats you as good as he does right now, I won’t be out to beat his ass.”

Giggling lightly, Sakura nodded, lips splitting into a beautifully bright smile as she stared with fondness at her ex-teacher. “Thank you. I’ll try to keep him in line, shishou—but no promises.”

She winked here, and Tsunade smirked once more, shaking her head. Ruffling her hair one last time, the Fifth Hokage declared it time to get back to work before bidding her farewell, promising to visit later, nodding to Mebuki on her way out. Her mother waved the woman away, in light jest of Tsunade’s own dismissal just moments earlier no doubt. The latter simply laughed, and left the room.

“Always so charming,” Mebuki chimed, voice dripping with nothing but sarcasm.

“ _Charming_ wouldn’t have taught me to crush boulders with me pinky, Mom,” Sakura teased.

Mebuki simply sighed, acquiescing, “She’s taught you well indeed.”

It was Sakura’s turn to laugh.

.

.

_(minutes later, kizashi finally made his return with sasuke in tow, the both of them carrying bags of her favorite take-out. it made her smile; she knew her father too well._

_the way sasuke’s lips curled when her father made a too-corny pun had her smiling even more.)_

.

.

Naturally, there were no plans to leave Konoha anytime soon, had her recovering state even allowed it. With Naruto’s wedding only a few days from now, Sakura felt all the more less inclined to leave these village walls she’d missed so much in the past two years of travels, no matter how treasured they were. Sasuke felt the same too, she knew; even if he’d never admit it. Close as he had told her they’d grown since the war, she doubted he would ever miss his best friend’s wedding for the world—much as he hated social events as he did.

_(because naruto was the brother he never chose, but the only brother he had left still living and breathing and smiling—sasuke owed him this.)_

They spent most of the first few days after her hospital discharge inside her not quite dusty apartment—mother must have kept it clean, she muses—not doing much of anything; with her body still healing, there wasn’t much Sakura could do without quickly tiring, but Sasuke was always there when she needed him to, ready to help or take over whatever task at hand. It made her so happy.

Though it felt a little strange to be back, in this little quaint place she had not stepped into in far too long, she still found herself only ruled by a soothing wave of comfort all the same.

Because this was _home_. Hers, and Sasuke’s.

_(this was the place that started it all, the place where their relationship had finally started taking root. full of memories and feelings and dearly revered moments; holding the history of a love that has never been easy, but has always been worth it.)_

This was theirs.

.

.

“When I figured out who it was,” he started to say one peaceful night, when she’d wrapped herself around him and tucked her head against his chest, waiting for his heat and soft breaths to lull her to sleep, “I wanted to chase after him and tear him to pieces. Make him hurt like he’d never hurt before.”

Green eyes fluttering open softly, Sakura let out a slow breath, and tightened her hold. “But you didn’t,” she said, soft.

She saw his jaw clench.

“But I wanted to,” he said, tone holding something like shame.

Pushing her face higher into the crook of his neck, Sakura closed her eyes once more. “It’s only human, Sasuke-kun,” she whispered. “I would have, too, if he’d done that to you.”

His response came so quietly she almost didn’t hear him.

“You wouldn’t have.”

At this, Sakura finally looked up and met his gaze, pushing herself up to speak to him better.

“Are you calling me a liar?” she asked with a smile, poking his cheek.

“Don’t twist my words,” Sasuke replied as he pushed her hand away, but there was a quirk to his mouth.

Sakura giggled, reaching to thumb the corner of his lips instead, always relishing in every trace of happiness he wore. Before long, her features sobered again.

“Anyone would have wanted to seek revenge after someone who hurt the person that they loved,” she murmured to him, earnest as she met his gaze. “It doesn’t mean you’re coming back to the person you once were just because you thought about it, Sasuke-kun. Everyone has these thoughts. Don’t be afraid.”

He stayed silent in response. Ran his gaze over her again, much like he had in the hospital a few days prior—and many times since. His single hand went and gently brushed hair away from her face, eyes gleaming with the type of love most would be intimidated by.

_(but not her. never her.)_

“I thought I lost you,” he whispered.

Something in his voice had her chest constricting, squeezing and clutching so hard it cut her breath short. Sakura swallowed hard.

“I’m here, Sasuke-kun,” she told him, just as quiet, drawing him close once more. She buried her face in his throat. “I’m right here.”

Shifting his arm to hold her better, Sasuke merely clenched his single hand desperately within the material of her shirt, bumping his chin to the crown of her head.

“You’re here.”

.

.

The morning of Naruto’s wedding day, a letter arrived to their door. It was from Hiroya’s wife.

_With all of my heart, I offer my sincerest gratitude to the both of you for giving my husband a second chance. Especially you, Uchiha-san. Though it may be hard to believe after all he’s done to you, I know he has a good heart. And I’m truly very sorry he put it in the wrong place, and that I didn’t know any better. Had I been aware, please believe I never would have let him go through with this. I never would have let Hiroya hurt either of you._

_I am terribly sorry for all the trouble his actions have caused. My heart breaks thinking of what could have happened. I prayed every night for miss Haruno-san’s health to improve, and I am so thankful for the gods to have answered them and to know that she has made it through all right._

_Whatever people say, I know that you are both good people. I will never forget the kindness and lenience of your hearts. I will make sure my husband never does, either._

_Forever indebted to you,_

_Yasu Komuro_

Sakura smiled bright, happiness dancing in her eyes. But before she could even turn and say something, Sasuke moved to take her hand in his, intertwining their fingers. His eyes were full of pure contentment when she met them with her own.

Finally, others were starting to see him for who he truly was. 

.

.

Much to everyone’s surprise, Naruto’s wedding was a relatively small and quiet thing.

Boisterous and loud as he’d always been since he was a child, it had always been expected from most that he’d end up inviting half the village at very least. His ceremony was to be wild and unconventional, fun to watch, filled with colors, and full of laughs; the reception that followed would be no different, they all thought.

It was a sharp contrast to this modest, near-private little gathering in the backyard of Hinata’s childhood home. Surrounded by pastel colored trees of yellow, white and lilac, the pops of color were still there—but there was less boldness than what they’d all envisioned with Naruto’s character.

Perhaps he’d never been too involved in the preparations then, Sakura mused with a smile. And with Hinata having never been too comfortable in big crowds, it felt all too possible that Naruto had decided to limit their amount of guests out of consideration for his wife-to-be.

_(love was about many compromises, after all.)_

It was a lovely affair. Unexpectedly small as it may have been, they had all (except a few) danced and laughed and cheered to the newlywed couple, commemorating the day with as many pictures as they could take. Sakura even made sure to snap one of Naruto in his hakama and montsuki—she would likely never see him wearing them another time.

“Drink?” Sasuke offered as she returned from the dance floor to try and catch a breather, cheeks flushed prettily and green eyes crinkling. She accepted the glass of rice wine eagerly, a bit tipsy already. One more wouldn’t hurt.

Gods, he looked so handsome in his formal suit, Sakura thought, the smile to her lips wider than ever. She wanted to run up and kiss him every time she glanced at him from across the room. He made her belly burn hot.

“Are you okay here?” she asked, always mindful of his comfort in times like these. He’d been patient already, and she’d more than had her share of fun—they could leave, if he needed to.

Something lovely flashed across his gaze. He shook his head, and sipped his drink. “Don’t worry about me, Sakura,” he said. “I’m fine.”

 _Go have fun_ , was left unsaid, but Sakura heard it anyway. The smile she gave him was brilliant.

Hours later, when the festivities started coming to an end, and she’d had more than enough drinks to woozy her mind, she took Sasuke by the wrist and declared it was time to go home, never minding who heard or watched. He made that same noise again—the same amused huff that was almost a laugh, the one he gave her on the night everyone celebrated Shikamaru’s engagement. She’d never get tired of hearing it.

They walked home, some steps unsteady, and headed straight to bed—just like that night. She was drunker than she had been then, and she suspected Sasuke was too if not as much as her, and blissful as she was right then, it wasn’t any wonder that she leaned in to kiss him, she thought.

Straddling his thighs as he was still clad in his handsome suit, she roamed her hands over his chest and neck to fan a fire like she’d been wanting to all night, growing dizzier from the heat. She sighed pretty little sounds when Sasuke responded in kind, grabbing a tight hold of her hip with his too-warm hand, urging her to fumble with the buttons of his shirt to eagerly take it off.

She was only halfway done before she felt his hand grab her own, stopping her in her task, a call of her name falling in a whisper from his lips. She pulled away to look at him, a little dazed and bemused. He seemed conflicted as lay there beneath her weight, cheeks flushed from what was either passion or too much sake.

“Did… did I do something wrong?” she stuttered, still reeling from it all.

His eyes softened. “No. But you’re drunk, Sakura. It’s not right.”

A mix of disappointment and affection rushed over her, allowing her mouth to part open. It was sweet, really, that he didn’t want to take advantage—and she understood that. As a medic, she even appreciated that.

But a part of her wished that maybe Sasuke shouldn’t have been so well brought up, right now. It had been weeks—no, _months_ since they’d been like this. Since he’d made love to her and brought them to a place where they’d never been more connected. She wanted to feel the depth of his love again like she had that night, where it seeped over her so powerfully she felt a little overwhelmed.

Yet Sasuke was probably right. With her drunk like this, she likely wouldn’t remember much of anything the next morning anyway, and that wouldn’t be fair to her.

So, sighing, Sakura relented, pushing herself away from him to roll at his side.

“Hold me?” she asked, hoping she didn’t sound to terribly discouraged.

If Sasuke noticed anything, he didn’t say it as he conceded and wrapped his arm around her gently.

Just like that night, she couldn’t help thinking, a smile pulling to her lips once more. She nuzzled his dress shirt with a sigh of contentment, eyes slipping shut.

_(they were both too lazy to change. too drunk to care.)_

They fell asleep wrapped up in each other a while later, muddle minded and content, just as they had when they’d first kissed. But unlike then, when she woke up the next morning, he was there; awake, lone arm looped around her waist, holding her close.

Sasuke wasn’t going anywhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter!


	25. twenty five

“A mission?” Sakura questioned a few days later, as she watched Sasuke begin to pack away some supplies. She frowned. “So soon? I thought we were going to stay here a while.”

Pausing in his task, Sasuke remained still for a moment before turning to look at her over his shoulder, seemingly amused. “You’re not going anywhere. It’s a solo mission, Sakura. Kakashi received reports on some interesting leads yesterday, and he looked worried.”

“And you can’t say what about,” Sakura said, though she didn’t need him to confirm. She knew shinobi protocols well; she hadn’t been one of the best in their class for nothing, after all.

Sasuke simply nodded. “No. Not yet, anyway.”

Sakura sighed. “All right,” she murmured, standing up to make her way to his side. It nearly made her smile how Sasuke watched her, as though expecting her to do something.

_(he’d become accustomed to her affections, truly. as they were, she could probably kiss him right now and he wouldn’t mind—would happily accept it, even. but she wouldn’t just yet.)_

Leaning against the desk he’d set his travel bag on, she touched his arm briefly and asked, “Do you know how long you’ll be gone?”

“A few weeks,” Sasuke replied, eyes dropping to follow the fleeting gesture, before meeting her gaze again. She loved how he already seemed more relaxed, won over by the simplest brush of her fingers. “Two months at most, maybe.”

That surprised her. “Really?”

“Mm. Might have to use the rinnegan. Could be traveling different dimensions. It’s why it’s going to take a little while.”

“Oh,” Sakura said, understanding dawning to her. As a means to open dimensions, she’d learned through Sasuke that the rinnegan was particularly tiring—especially considering the amount of chakra it demanded. It was only natural he would need to recover between every couple of uses, and allow his body to recuperate.

“Must be pretty serious if you need to travels dimensions,” Sakura muttered, crossing her arms as her brows furrowed in deep thought. “Does this have anything to do with Kaguya?”

Sasuke remained silent to that, and she shook her head in response, smiling lightly.

“Right, confidentiality. Sorry.”

Sasuke sighed slowly. “I’ll try to be quick,” he said, as he turned to finally continue packing again.

Smiling wider, Sakura cocked her head, then reached over to pull at her drawer always full of medical goods, gathering a few simple things for him. Her smile only grew some more when she slipped them into his bag, too easily noticing the way he paused and just about smiled, too.

“I know you will Sasuke-kun,” she said, trust and unwavering faith unmistakable to her tone. “Just don’t visit the Hawanakis without me, okay?”

Sasuke really did smile, then. Her heart fluttered. She felt nothing short of giddy now.

“Then… I’ll help you pack?" she offered, leaning against him for some effect.

Sasuke snorted, shaking his head. “Haven’t you started already?” he said, and Sakura merely giggled in reply.

.

.

It was with a sweet embrace and whispered words of, “Be safe,” that Sakura let him go, that afternoon.

In the red-orange light that filtered through from the dining room window, Sasuke merely pulled away, eyes warm, and reached to brush his fingers to her forehead in a gentle tap.

“See you soon, Sakura,” he whispered, before turning to make his way out.

It made her blush. She didn’t know why.

_(because she’d been through this, before. had already stood there, already felt this touch, and heard those words so many other times in their not so distant past. this was how they started.)_

But perhaps, she mused as she watched him walk away, it was because it felt a little too much like they were married, now. Like she was a wife seeing her husband off to work; like he was a husband promising his wife he would return home—to her.

Or maybe she was only realizing this now. Maybe that’s how it had always been with them. Maybe.

Sakura would likely never know, and she was okay with that. 

.

.

The first week was slow, and the second even longer. Sakura was bewildered—she didn’t know how she’d done it before, waiting for him like this. Living her life without the man she loved at her side, having no one to share her experiences with. Too many times she had come home wanting to tell him about whatever interesting things had made up her day, as she had for years now… only to find it empty and silent.

She’d gotten too good at living with Sasuke.

What Ino called a newfound _(“well, newly found **again** anyway, right Forehead?”)_ freedom, she called a missing piece. Sasuke’s lack of constant presence, which she’d gotten so used to since even before their travels began, didn’t feel liberating at all. She’d already felt independent even at his side—he’d never kept her from doing what she wanted, what she loved. In fact, Sasuke had only ever made conscious efforts to make sure he’d never get in the way of that. To even be there with her if she wanted him to be.

Because more than anything, in the end, all Sasuke was ever trying to do was to make her happy.

Sakura truthfully didn’t know how he ever doubted if he truly could, if she was honest with herself. How he missed the way his every little effort succeeded in doing so. Or had he simply been thinking about the bigger picture—how he’d always end up letting her down more than picking her up? Maybe that was what he meant.

_(he was still wrong, either way.)_

Such a brilliant man, but so stupid in the matters of the heart sometimes, Sakura mused with the faintest smile. Gods, she missed him terribly. His companionship, the tender intimacy they always shared; the warmth of him filling the empty space of her bed. Their late night conversations, and his unique little humor; watching him cook, listening to him talk.

Traveling with him had really only ever made her love him more.

_(and allowed her to find parts of herself she never thought were there before, too.)_

Still, of course, she knew she would be fine without him, lovesick as she felt. Just as Sasuke would be—just as they had both been many times before. Their connection had always made sure of that.

_(as it always would.)_

She would be fine without him, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t miss him.

So she kept herself busy, as much as she could. Visiting the friends she hadn’t seen in too long, spending days catching up with them. Going back to the clinic she’d so proudly fought to open, picking up work she’d dearly missed doing. Even helping Ino organize her wedding, a surprising thing all of its own that her friend had even asked; after all, ever since they were children, Ino had always insisted she would plan everything alone.

_(“it’ll be **my** wedding… so why would i ever want anyone else to decide how it goes? besides, it’s no secret that **i** have the best taste in everything!”)_

Smiling, Sakura shook her head. Ino had always been a lot to handle, since the very day they met, but gods if she didn’t love that girl to bits.

“He’s being unreasonable,” Ino went on to complain as they sat in one of the empty hospital rooms, a small metal instrument tray between them. Two syringes lay in it.

Both due for their contraceptive shot, it was simply nothing short of convenient that they administer it to one another. This wasn’t the first time.

“I mean, how is it my fault that he waited like, three years to marry Temari? I’ve told him a gazillion times that I was going to marry in May. Since we were _kids_. I’m not going to move it just because they suddenly decided on a date! I mean come _on_ , it could even be perfect. We’ve basically shared a birthday since forever, wouldn’t it be so cute that our weddings are so close, too?”

“He’s probably tired of sharing everything with you, Pig,” Sakura jibed, cracking a smile even as she rubbed antiseptic on her best friend’s arm, her movements mechanical. She’d been doing this for so long it was practically second nature to her. “Besides, couldn’t you just wait a year? It’s only been a few months since Sai proposed.”

“But why?” Ino retorted, making a face. “I want to marry Sai _now_. Who even waits in our line of work anymore? We shinobi can die any day, you know.”

“We can?” Sakura asked, very poorly feigning her surprise. “News to me—I must inform Sasuke-kun of this when he comes back.”

Gaping at her, Ino stared, completely aghast, before glaring with all the fierceness she possessed. Sakura grinned, not bothering to dodge the smack her friend sent her way as she burst into laughs.

“Kidding! Now hold still—or we’ll never get this over with.”

Rolling her eyes, Ino merely huffed and flicked her hair over her shoulder. “Yeah whatever,” she said, but remained dutifully still all the same.

Smiling, Sakura merely carried on with the task—cleaning the area once more before delivering the contraceptive shot—and then turned to the side of the chair for her friend to do the same. Ino didn’t hesitate to comply.

“How long until Sasuke’s back anyway?” she asked, starting the same mundane process all over again. “Wasn’t it supposed to be just a few weeks? It’s been like, what—four, five?”

Acquiescing, Sakura hummed, her green eyes thoughtfully set on the clock ahead. “Yeah, almost five,” she replied, voice gentle. “But Sasuke-kun did say he’d be gone for two months at the most, so I won’t start worrying until then.”

“Oh, that is _such_ a wife thing to say,” Ino stated, snickering. “How is it that you’re not even engaged? _You_ should be the one getting married, if you ask me.”

Nearly choking on her spit, Sakura blushed heavily and now found herself the one gaping, pretty eyes wider than her friend’s had been. “I-Ino!” she squeaked, hiding her red face in her hands just as she had when her mentor had teased not so long ago. What was it with people and asking her about marriage? It wasn’t their business! “What is wrong with you! Stop asking me such things, it’s embarrassing!”

“No, it’s not,” her best friend replied, smirking. “I’m only looking out for the inevitable. You know it, I know it—we all know it.”

She winked here, and Sakura blushed even more, swatting at her. Ino laughed.

“Okay, fine, I get it. Jeez,” she said, shaking her head. “Now hold still so we can get over with yours, too.”

Exhaling a slow breath, Sakura nodded and tried to focus on easing away her blush. Feeling the press of the needle, she stiffened slightly when two nurses came rushing through the door, panting. They didn’t give her time to ask what was going on.

“Sakura-san! Ino-san! There’s an emergency in the ICU—Shizune-san said we need all hands on deck! You must hurry—”

Without even letting the nurse finish, Ino and Sakura both startled to their feet within a breath’s moment, faces stern as they dashed out of the room with them. There was never any time to waste.

.

.

It was close to eight when Sakura got herself home from the hospital, tired out and a little disheartened by the loss of fellow shinobi. Three jounins just a few days returned from a mission gone wrong—the ICU had rarely needed the whole of their available staff, but with the state their squad had been in, they’d all expected the worst might come. But there was only so much even medic nins could do, with damage as severe as theirs.

They’d tried their best.

Still, it made her sad. While she hadn’t known any of them, Sakura still remembered seeing their faces elsewhere; in the streets of the market, in the many restaurants around the village... in the war against Madara and Kaguya, too.

They’d been her colleagues, protecting the village they called home and fighting for peace just as she’d been doing since she was barely more than a child. And for that alone, Sakura held nothing but respect and gratitude for them.

Thirty-four years old—that was the age of the youngest. A good lifespan for a ninja, she mused, as she’d locked her front door and sighed. Her eyes closed for a brief moment of silence, head leaning against the hardwood. Even after all these years, losing patients had never gotten easier.

Sighing once more, Sakura pushed herself away, and ran a hand through her hair. Her eyes drew themselves to the side of her closet out of habit, always hoping she might see Sasuke’s nin sandals there. They weren’t.

“I hope you’re careful out there, Sasuke-kun,” she whispered, though he surely couldn’t hear her. Maybe he’d still feel it, though, thousands of miles away as he might be.

Shaking her head, Sakura set off to take a shower; saving lives was often sweaty and arduous work, after all. Half an hour later, when she was fresh and clean, and exhausted as ever, she collapsed into her bed and quickly fell into a dreamless sleep.

It was a while _(she didn’t know how long)_ before a familiar whisper of her name had her stirring to consciousness again.

“Sakura,” he called, lowly. “Sakura.”

She was barely even aware of a touch against her jaw as she sluggishly opened her eyes. Still too sleepy, it took her a few lazy blinks to realize who was sitting at her bedside, hand gently holding her chin.

“…Sasuke-kun?”

His mismatched eyes brightened, so beautiful in this full shimmering moonlight. “I’m back,” he murmured, unmistakable relief seeping into his voice.

Startled into full wakefulness, she barely had the time to even smile before his hand slipped to the back of her neck and pulled her into the sweetest kiss, drawing a sound from her. Surprise fading, Sakura let her eyes fall shut and reached to push herself up better, hands then curling lightly in his shirt. She was blushing when he finally pulled away a moment later, keeping them close as he ran his gaze over her, gently thumbing her skin.

“I missed you,” Sakura said, for the both of them.

The barest of smiles touched his lips. “I’m home,” Sasuke replied, before dipping to press his mouth to hers once more, this kiss deeper and more languid than the last.

_(fueled with the sentiment she’d just put into words. with the love he’d been just as unable to express in all these five weeks.)_

It was then, after months of wishing and yearning and waiting for the right opportunity, that Sasuke made love to her again.

.

.

Sakura set about to delegating her duties from the clinic and hospital the very next day, intent on resuming her travels with the man she loved as soon as their lives allowed it. Having once disappeared without much preamble, she wasn’t fond of the idea of leaving another haphazard mess behind; her colleagues deserved better than to be overworked after everything. Especially in favor of an impulsive decision derived from her too-happy-and-in-love heart.

Additionally, there was Ino’s wedding that she couldn’t miss, Sakura mused, eyes crinkling. Empathetic and supportive as she could be, she doubted Ino would even stand to have her leave before her big day. Indeed, Sakura thought, shaking her head, Ino was far more likely to pause her own ceremony to come hunt her down and drag her by the roots of her hair, should the need arise.

But Sakura would make sure it wouldn’t.

A week and a half later, when her responsibilities were fully entrusted and she had happily attended _both_ Ino and Shikamaru’s wedding _(hilariously a day apart)_ , she and Sasuke were at last on the road once more.

_(at last blissfully alone—truly alone—as they hadn’t been in months. free from interruptions and overcurious teammates, free from prying eyes and nosy ears. free to love with all the openness they strangely couldn’t seem to find even in the privacy of her apartment.)_

“At least we said our goodbyes this time, right?” she teased, unable to stop smiling. Even as Konoha’s gates had yet to disappear from the horizon behind them, her heart already felt lighter somehow, breath coming easier to her lungs. There really was a sense of freedom one could never find anywhere else, out here.

_(it wasn’t any wonder anymore, really, why sasuke found such healing on these roads. why he always chose to leave again when he didn’t yet feel ready, didn’t yet feel like the man he hoped he might one day be. she knew now—she felt it.)_

“Hm,” Sasuke hummed, then, turning his gentle gaze towards her. He reached to affectionately tug at a lock of her hair, and her heart thudded with an intense flow of warmth. “They’ll miss you anyhow,” he said.

Cheeks flushing prettily, Sakura smiled wider, green eyes gleaming as bright as ever. Giggling, she trotted ahead in a burst of girlish excitement, before shifting to look at him once more.

“So, where to, Sasuke-kun!?” she asked, clasping her hands behind her back. “I seem to distinctly remember you promising me that you’d take me back to a certain somewhere after the raining season was over…”

Something of a smile started growing to his own mouth, but Sasuke went to hide it with his hand, playfully feigning some sort of pensive look. “Did I? Hm.”

Giggling again, Sakura quickly padded over to his side and took his empty sleeve in her grasp, grinning brilliantly at him. She gave a light tug. “Yes, you did, Sasuke-kun! Can we go? Please? I’ve been looking forward to this for three years—it would make me _so_ happy.”

It was unnecessary, she knew, to embellish her plea to this degree. Sasuke’s answer had been yes from the start—he’d only sought to taunt her, mess around. Make her laugh.

Sakura only did it because she loved nothing more than to watch his eyes take that certain gleam of pure delight every time she gave him an opportunity to do exactly what he always wanted most for her.

_(isn’t it easy, sasuke-kun? to make me happy?)_

“All right,” he said, soft. His eyes held all the smiles he never showed. “Lead the way.”

_(maybe it was easy to make sasuke happy, too.)_

.

.

_(“but sasuke-kun!” she whined. “i don’t know how to get there! you know these roads better than i do!”)_

.

.

“Wow,” she breathed two weeks later, as they sat atop of the same sloped hill they had years ago, green eyes fixed on the yellow flickering field.

It was so much more beautiful than she ever thought it could be; than she could ever be prepared for. Like a scene straight out of the fairy tales her mother used to read to her as a child, the fireflies danced and glowed and swayed to the symphony of the night, establishing a perfectly magical mood in this already perfectly magical field. Sakura couldn’t find it in herself to look away—hadn’t been able to look away since she’d first laid eyes on it when they’d arrived barely a few minutes ago. Sasuke really hadn’t exaggerated.

_(not that she ever thought he had… he never was one to embellish anything.)_

“I told you,” Sasuke said, but his voice was warm, quiet. He wasn’t trying to be smug, though he had every right to be.

Feeling her belly flutter, Sakura smiled in response, and blindly sought his hand with her own. She squeezed it tight when she found it, gaze still ever-locked ahead. She felt so full.

“This… this is really something,” she murmured. “I don’t even know what to say. Amazing doesn’t even begin to describe it.” She squeezed harder, moving to rest her head against his shoulder. “Sasuke-kun… I’ll never forget this. Thank you so much for sharing this with me.”

In return, Sasuke merely hummed, thumb brushing the back of her hand. A comfortable silence fell between them, somehow both light and heavy with the weight of the intense, quiet love they shared.

For hours, they sat there together; reveling in the stillness, the view, the moment. The bliss.

_(yet there was one more thing she wanted to do.)_

Shifting her endlessly enamored gaze to her lover, Sakura smiled shyly, reaching to grasp at his cloak. When he turned to look at her, she leaned in without hesitation and kissed him softly, hands falling to grip at his shirt instead. A long, content sigh slipped from her lips when he responded with equal tenderness, angling himself towards her. He cradled the back of her head, curling his fingers into her hair. She felt her heart stutter as he soon gently urged her down onto the grass, his lone hand momentarily moving to help steady himself over her. She instantly reached to help him as well, a habit still forming. 

_(they were getting better, at this. or at least, she hoped they were—it had become somewhat of a nightly thing since he’d come back from his mission, after all. both always too eager to express their passion… their overwhelming affections.)_

Putting a hand to his heart, feeling it thrum and pound, Sakura watched Sasuke’s eyes soften and wondered how it could possibly get any better than this.

.

.

_(“okasan! otousan! sasuke-niisan is back! he’s finally back!”)_

.

.

“I can’t believe the nerve of you two,” Natsumi declared as she led them through the hall towards the guest room, sporting the biggest grin despite her chiding tone. “Three years! You haven’t visited in almost three years! What in the _world_ have you been up to? Even Sasuke never took so long when he traveled alone!”

Exchanging a brief, amused look with Sasuke, Sakura smiled furtively, and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “Sorry, Natsumi-san. We went traveling pretty far, and a lot of things happened along the way. It’s been a bit of an adventure, really.”

“Good things, I hope?” Natsumi asked, as they reached the room. Stepping aside to urge them in, she allowed them both the time to put down their things before quickly moving to give them another hug. “Gods I missed you two—your letters are never enough. Yuuta and I were even talking a few days ago about visiting Konoha when we learned you decided to stay there after what happened!” She took Sakura’s hands in hers, then, squeezing tightly. “And Sakura, sweetheart, I can’t tell you how glad I am that you’re all right. You haven’t sustained any permanent damage, have you?”

From the other side of the house, Sakura heard Yuuta laugh. “Natsumi, sweetie, give them time to breathe,” he called to his wife. “They’ve barely arrived and you're already barreling them with questions!”

“You better make sure that rice doesn’t burn like last time, Yuuta!” Natsumi snapped back, but she was still smiling all the same.

Sakura giggled. “Mostly good things, yes,” she said, pulling her hands back to place them in her lap instead. “And thank you—I wish we didn’t have to worry you guys in the first place. The recovery was a bit long but I feel all better now. For the most part anyway—I’ve been kinda tired, but traveling is exhausting work, too, sometimes. I’m probably still healing, anyway.”

“Some kind of flu appears to be going around as well,” Sasuke said, brows furrowing. “I noticed Asuka seems to have caught it.”

Natsumi waved him off. “Oh, it’s nothing to worry about—she’s gotten over most of it already. Now come on, come on!” With a smile, she started ushering them out into the hallway again. “Let’s get you to clean yourselves up and you can tell us everything about your supposed long travels over dinner! Yuuta and the kids are cooking tonight, though, so I can’t vouch for the quality of it.”

There was an indignant, “Hey!” and another laugh. Sakura smiled as Noburu yelled, “Don’t listen to Okasan, Sasuke-niisan! Our cooking is way better than hers! She’s just jealous she doesn’t get to cook as much!”

“I heard that young man,” Natsumi sang back. “Any more and you’ll be cooking for yourself from now on.”

“What! Okasan, that’s not fair! Did you hear that Otousan?”

There was a chuckle. “Well then you’ll have learned your lesson, Noburu. Respect your mother.”

“But I was just joking!” Noburu whined.

Almost three years, and this house has only gotten more lively, Sakura thought, crinkling eyes catching Sasuke’s. He gave her a faint smile in return, shaking his head.

Yes, her mind went on as she hooked her pinky around his, they were definitely long overdue for a visit.

.

.

“You think Natsumi will force us to stay here a month because we haven’t visited in so long?” she teased some long hours later, when Yuuta had gone to tuck Asuka into bed and Noburu had set off with his mother to help fold their laundry. She and Sasuke stayed in the kitchen to do the dishes.

As though finding this very concept ridiculous, Sasuke snorted. “Natsumi would never force anyone to do anything,” he said, lazily rubbing at a plate. Sakura found the sight strangely mesmerizing. “…But she does have a way of persuading people when she really sets herself to it,” he went on more quietly. “So if she ends up _persuading_ us to stay a whole month, I won’t be surprised.”

Taken off guard by his quip, Sakura’s eyes widened slightly before she laughed, full-bellied and honest. She playfully bumped her shoulder to his, green eyes glinting when their gazes met. “Is that why sometimes you were so late visiting me in Konoha, Sasuke-kun? Because Natsumi _convinced_ you to stay longer than you’d planned?”

In response, Sasuke said nothing, his silence a tell-tale answer in itself. Sakura tried her best to keep from giggling. She even thought she even saw his ears reddening, but before she even had the time to confirm, Sasuke flicked water at her face.

“Hey!” Sakura protested, hiding behind her dishtowel. She really did laugh, this time. “Sasuke-kun, that’s no fair! Stop it!”

“You deserved it.”

As he flicked more water at her, Sakura smacked him with her rag, exclaiming it was enough. Mouth quirking, Sasuke rolled his eyes, going back to washing the dishes once more. She followed his example, heart impossibly light.

There was a short, comfortable silence as they carried on with their task.

Until Sakura finally spoke, “You know, Asuka-chan looks so much like Natsumi now. When she was barely two, I thought she looked more like Yuuta. With his nose and his hair… I thought she’d grow up the spitting image of her daddy. But no, in just three years, little Asuka-chan managed to look just like her mama instead! I bet it makes Natsumi so proud, since Noboru always looked more like Yuuta, too.”

Sasuke gave a hum. “She looked more like Natsumi when she was a few months old,” he said, features soft. Thinking about the night he’d first met them all, no doubt. “Same eyes. Same smile. Her nose was always like Yuuta’s, but it was the hair that really made her look like him. It took her a while to grow into it.”

“Really?”

“Mm.”

“That… must have been so strange for you,” she murmured, thoughtful. “To see them grow up like that. You met Asuka-chan and Noburu when they were both so young… and now Asuka-chan is _five_ and Noburu is almost as tall as I am!”

Lips twitching, Sasuke rolled his eyes. “He’s not that tall, Sakura.”

“He’s taller than most boys his age should be,” Sakura returned, crossing her arms. Then, after a moment, she shook her head and smiled fondly. “I wonder if it’s like that, when you’re a parent… in constant shock of how fast your child grows.”

Something in Sasuke’s eyes seemed to change, but Sakura wasn’t sure. He merely hummed again, softer. “Probably.”

Another silence fell upon them, as he went on to wash and she went on to dry. Sakura tried not to wonder too much about what he might have thought just now.

_(he would tell her eventually, she was sure. they’d never been one to hide from each other anymore.)_

“Are you feeling any better?” Sasuke asked, then, when a while had passed and he was just finishing up washing the last of the cooking pans.

“Hm?” Blinking, Sakura simply turned to look at him, bemused. But it wasn’t long before her confusion washed away. “Oh! Right. The cramps.” Cocking her head, she smiled at him, a bit bashful. “They’re gone for now. Thanks. But… I’ll probably be having more anyway. It’s about that time of the month for me so…”

Unbothered as he’d always been about this kind of thing since the start of their travels, Sasuke nodded. “Makes sense. It would explain why you’ve been so tired.”

“It’s very likely a factor, yeah. Then with all the strains of the flu virus going around…”

“Right,” Sasuke said, shaking his head. He went and took her towel to wipe his hands, lips twitching at her complaint. Sakura blushed as he reached to dry off the last few dishes for her. “Hopefully we can avoid them all.”

Warm, and taken with affection, Sakura smiled and fought against the urge to close the distance and kiss him, mindful of the fact any of the Hawanakis could return now.

She was only proven right when Yuuta strolled into the kitchen a minute later, taking them both by surprise.

“Oh? Natsumi and Noburu haven’t come back from folding laundry yet?” he asked, prompting them to turn.

Clearing her throat, Sakura glanced at Sasuke and tried not to blush. It was lucky she hadn’t tried anything.

Tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, she shook her head at Yuuta and said with a smile, “Ah—um, no, sorry, we haven’t seen them—I guess they’re still working at it. How did it go tucking in Asuka-chan?”

Crossing his arms, Yuuta smiled, glanced at his watch and chuckled. “I think the half hour I was gone speaks for itself. Did you guys really just finish the dishes now?”

Stiffening, Sakura could do nothing to fight against the red that took to her cheeks this time. “Oh! Um—yeah, sorry, we just…”

Thankfully, Yuuta simply waved her off and laughed; either he didn’t want an explanation or he didn’t need one. Sakura hoped it was the former.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, shaking his head. Still smiling, he winked and said, “I’ll go see what they’re up to, then, hm? Leave you two kids alone to do… whatever it is you guys were about to do now that the dishes are done.”

With a final wink, he made his way out of the room, leaving them both on their own again. Frozen, and more than just a little flustered, Sakura could barely gather enough of herself to look at Sasuke.

“Do you think they know about us?” she asked, mind running wild with the thought of the possible implication in Yuuta’s words. Had he arrived before either of them knew it? Had he read on her face what she had wanted to do?

When Sasuke didn’t answer, Sakura finally collected her courage and glanced up at him, mouth parting to say something. But whatever she wanted to say was lost at the sight she met: the love of her life, red-eared and rubbing at the back of his flushed neck, looking adorably timid.

He swallowed when their gazes met. Her heart pounded. She didn’t expect him to reach down and take her hand in his.

“They would have found out soon anyway,” he muttered, mismatched eyes locked on their intertwining fingers.

Tightness welled up at her throat. She gripped his hand tight and smiled. “Hmm. Yeah, that’s true,” she whispered, tone holding a teasing edge. “I guess you should work on being a little less obvious, then—right Sasuke-kun?”

The ghost of a smile played at his own lips. “Guess so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I lied. One more chapter. The next one is truly the finale!!


End file.
